It’s Girl Scout cookie season… keep your head on a swivel (YouTube Gold)

Very rude indeed.  It’s not all samoas, thin mints, and smiles during cookie season.  Let this be a lesson to girl scouts in the valley.  Make sure you keep your cookie money jar away from cookie monsters. 

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“The Man” is trying to keep me Down!!!

 

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According to TMZ  (so that means it’s legit)  George Zimmerman and his promoter Damon Feldman have decided to duck me and he will instead fight 43-year-old rapper DMX.   I can’t say I’m shocked at this turn of events.  They want Zimmerman who’s slimmed down a lot btw, to have a fighting chance.  DMX is an out of shape washed up rapper who has a history of drug abuse.  I’m going out on a limb here.  Zimmerman will win this fight in the first round by KO.  I envision DMX coming out of the gates hard and with no skill swinging for the fences for about 45 seconds before gassing.  Zimmerman (who actually trains in boxing) will keep his guard up whether the early storm and when DMX tires send most of the viewing audience and those in attendance home pretty pissed off.  I smell another Zimmerman celebrity boxing match in the future.  Why rush to give people what they want?  When you can string them along and get more of their money first?

Help me win $10K by KO’ing George Zimmerman

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Fresh off winning the Novice NAGA nogi Heavyweight New England Championship in Submission grappling last weekend Teddy Panos hit me with this bomb this morning, “Apply to fight George Zimmerman and win $10 grand.”  Sold.  Fired off an email to fightgeorge@hotmail.com this morning telling them who I was, that I’m from Lowell and Micky Ward could train me for this car wreck.  I don’t hate George Zimmerman but $10 large is reason enough to whip anyone’s ass.  So I ask you readers of The Cabot to email fightgeorge@hotmail.com and tell fight promoter Damon Feldman to pick me Mark Lynch over the other applicants because of whatever reason you want to give.  C’mon you know you want to see me knock him out.

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Pork…… Wha!?! (YouTube Gold)

First off, when I’m big time and making the big time money I’m going to a tailor and telling them I want the “Steve Harvey special”.  The length on that coat is outstanding.  Second gotta love that she spelled loin L-I-O-N which last I checked is a different animal then Pork AKA P-I-G.  Just putting a beat down on the english language.  Also has there ever been a time in Family Feud history where instead of yelling “GOOD ANSWER” a family member just looks at the offending dummy and called them a moron or something?  How has this not happened yet?  Cupine is a great answer.  Clearly this kid got an A in creative writing and a “gentleman’s C” in art class for eating all the extra paste.