Back Off in #Haiku.10/8/14.


Sound Off

Workers sacrificed.
Impressive but their own fault.
Stop MB stories.

Old folks need parking.
But teachers took all the spots.
Voting results changed.

Part-time jobs out there.
Companies avoid bennies.
Depressing era.

This ain’t your backyard.
Property of the college.
Now get off our lawn.

Art T needs a sec.
It’s been a long hard season.
All will be right soon.


Chelmsford school issues.
Investigate ev’rything.
No free rides or meals.

School budget is tight?
It’s half a million dollars.
Enough for a house.

Board of Health please come.
The Chelmsford schools need cleaning.
Children getting sick.

Tyngsboro sewer.
Money waiting to happen.
Give a shit and vote.

Tyngsboro is slowly getting back to what it does best.

Lowell Sun

TYNGSBORO — A former strip-club owner’s controversial request for an entertainment license at Duke’s Pub and Grille — to allow performers dressed in bikinis and Speedos to dance in-house — was approved 3-2 by the Board of Selectmen Monday night.

Selectmen reviewed Duke’s owner Don DiRocco’s request earlier this month and asked more questions Monday at a public hearing. Duke’s is located on Frost Road and DiRocco previously told the board he was looking for approval of the license to boost business.

After grilling DiRocco for more than a half-hour Monday night, Chairwoman Karyn Puleo said she did not receive enough information from DiRocco to vote in favor of the license.

“Let this beautiful patch of land be a safe harbor for Roller Skaters and Strippers.” Colonel Tyng – 1705

As the chief expert in Tyngsboro culture, I have a hard time believing I wasn’t given a press credential for this event.  Nevertheless, our neighbors up north did not disappoint.  In any town across the country, hysterics over the idea of allowing a windowless bar the opportunity to present women of various variety, dancing in their finest beach attire…would be perfectly reasonable.  But this recent puritanical crusade they’ve got going on up there is too much.  It’s like spending time with that really over-the-top Born Again Christian that is only 1 short prison term removed from blowing coke off of surface area provided by hooker body parts.  Don’t run away from who you are Tyngsboro.  Some places are meant to offer great schools, cute downtowns, and well-to-do people.  Other places were meant to offer negotiable fees to have a lost soul have sex with your kneecaps for the duration of a Motley Crue song.

Tyngsboro is a safe place these days…unless you work in a pizza parlor with a maniac boss.


Lowell Sun
BOSTON — The former operator of a popular Tyngsboro pizza restaurant, who was sentenced to four years in state prison in 2012 for beating an employee he believed stole thousands of dollars from him, will argue that his conviction should be overturned.

In court documents filed with the state Appeals Court, Eric Sideri, former operator of Angela’s Coal Fired Pizza on Middlesex Road, claims the trial judge erred by not allowing jury to consider a lesser included offense to the assault-and-battery charge.

You know who doesn’t beat up employees for stealing money made from the sale of mediocre pizza? If you said either Destiny, Cherry, Anastasia, or Candy…you’re a 1000% correct. Sure there was the occasional locker room dust-up when Cherry occasionally hijacked one of Candy’s regulars, but they kept that in-house. No injuries, no Lowell Sun, and the show went on. Don’t run away from who you are Tyngsboro! Boobs, Bridges, and RollerSkating.

Things are not looking good for the Tyng.
BOSTON (AP) — State health officials have confirmed a case of mosquito-borne Eastern equine encephalitis in a horse in Tyngsborough, the third case in a horse this year.

The health department said Wednesday it is raising the mosquito threat level to ‘‘critical’’ in the north central Massachusetts community. Nearby Chelmsford, Dracut, Dunstable, Groton, Lowell, and Westford have been raised to ‘‘moderate’’ risk.

Ha! And you thought getting rid of all the strippers was the ticket to a disease free Tyngsboro. Well, the joke is on you. Call me nostalgic, but I liked Tyngsboro a lot better when it was all about boobs and roller skating. Ever since they turned the place over to new construction and horse hunting mosquitos, it hasn’t been the same.

Pic ganked from google images, whatever.