Back Off in Haiku. 1/4-9/16

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also if you’ve ever wanted me to cut out the middleman on the Trump poems consider it done. Trump Tweets in Haiku is now available for Kindle. For $3 you get over one hundred haiku based mainly on his December poll results. Thank-you.]

1/4/2016

Meehan in the murk.
Right up there with old gangsters.
Big stories come soon.

Hats made in China.
Supporters left out in cold.
Trump rally not great.

Trump’s undercover.
Unelectable fav’rite.
Working for Clinton

Whiners stop progress.
“Redmen” honored Wamesit.
A statue stands tall.

Fed workers get more.
Seniors getting deeper cuts.
President cares not.

Robots predict games.
BB8 is Belichick.
8 Super Bowl wins.

Sinister dark plans.
Evil Prez will destroy us.
Leads terrorists.

Elections over.
Your concerns are meaningless.
Empty smiles vanish.

“Liar of the Year.”
Politifact named The Prez.
They’re still called leftist.

Bad drugs imported.
Just like all the dealers are.
The Left kills your kids.

Border guards corrupt.
Illegal drugs will not stop.
Use special forces.

1/5/16

Meehan makes too much.
Why tuition rates are high.
Worse than government.

Not really from here.
Moved to rich ‘hood at age two.
Made electable.

Why not let Trump speak?
America is pro-freedom.
Like Trump always says.

Liars surround us.
Nobody else to vote for.
Swallow your oatmeal.

Donated money.
Hope it went to someone nice.
Pretty sure it did.

Ransom sounds too high.
No way we paid five billion.
You’re fuggin’ crazy.

 

1/6/15

Sidewalks near the school.
Not cleared after a small storm.
A slippery slope.

I’d vote for Sandi.
I think she has to run though.
That’d be the first thing.

Programs now funded.
Billionaires still doing fine.
Obama did fine.

Natalie Cole’s voice.
Beautiful and will be missed.
Unforgettable.

Trump has health issues.
Specifically mental.
So does his fan base.

Air-filled Nutcracker.
Stolen from yard on New Year’s.
Return it you drunk.

Trump could be Hitler.
Wants to target immigrants.
Face of fear itself.

 

1/7/2016

I don’t have a gun.
But might need to kill a man.
I’d like to use his.

The Prez is Hitler.
If Hitler sold used Chryslers.
A heil of a deal.

Should protest Meehan.
Trump didn’t raise tuition.
Priorities count.

Flat wrapping paper.
Much cheaper after Christmas.
Paper Store has some.

Grew up with the guy?
You don’t sound grown up to me.
I doubt your wisdom.

1/8/2016

Three years probation.
Prob’ly got to keep money.
Justice is broken.

Officers busy.
Work ethic respectable.
Don’t ignore value.

Reagan’s market crash.
Resulted from trickle-down.
Days best left behind.

Bill Clinton’s hobbies.
Long gone from Oval Office.
Days best left behind.

 

1/9/2016

Live within budget.
You’re town leaders for Christ’s sake.
Start acting like it.

Unqualified fraud.
Crying his crocodile tears.
His cries disgust me.

Student protesters.
Embarrassment to our town.
Trump should be revered.

Beautiful lighting.
Town Common brought to splendor.
Company did well.

I still live in town.
You criticize from afar.
Grown-ups face their foes.

Snow on school busses.
Flies off onto my windshield.
Should have been removed.

Boxer in his jock.
Forgot to put his shorts on.
Smoke-filled memories.

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Back Off in #Haiku. 12/28/15-1/2/16

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also, if you want to buy my books on Kindle that’d be cool.http://www.amazon.com/dp/B019GLL1S8/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_awdo_9BYDwb1Q0YMTF]

Monday, 12/28/15

Boxer should retire.
All those fights have done their harm.
Pastures are calling.

Fiorina stays.
She can beat anybody.
Except maybe Trump.

Donut shop tax break..
Like they’ll bring in some tourists.
Our town is struggling.

Insane light display.
Bigger than Disney Parades.
Pride of cul de sac.

Trump and Obama.
More in common than you think.
They’re both dictators.

Apple Computers.
Just a Chinese company.
Not like Nokia.

Trump is all they’ve got?
Fifteen people were on stage.
Evolution failed.

Moved to New Hampshire.
To avoid wage increases.
Polartec fleeced us.

Officer on phone.
Wonder who he’s talking to.
Wish I had that job.

Fight the drug dealers.
Cut heroin at the source.
Narcan’s behind this.

Clinton will close schools.
That ain’t a President’s job.
Border patrol is.

Sentences cancelled
Undoing work of police.
Obama loves drugs.

Roads must be repaired.
Taxes pay for things like that.
How government works.

Tuesday 12/29/15

Beautiful picture.
Best front page you could have run.
Meaning of Christmas.

You nailed the cover.
Wonderful picture of Christ.
No pun intended.

“Night Before Christmas.”
Front page poem was much needed.
Tradition should grow.

Merry Christmas all.
I say this to ev’ryone.
The rabbis love it.

Anti-Christians suck.
We’re surrounded by many.
They hate our good vibes.

Give me for Christmas
The head of Roger Goodell.
Kids need role models.

Night before Christmas
All barbershops were shut down.
Town run by grinches.

Prostitution sting.
Put a damper on Christmas.
Needed to be done.

Congress is sneaky.
Lobbyists now non-profits.
You watched a ball drop.

Beggars increase trash.
Councilor got it cleaned up.
Mayor did nothing.

Mayor proud of work.
But it was a half-assed job.
Parking but no stores.

Wednesday 12/30/15

Like did not Star Wars.
Too commercialized it was.
Tix costly they are.

Democrat debates.
Clinton doesn’t want viewers.
She chooses time slots.

“Black Lives Matter” sign.
I believe all lives matter.
Even the priv’leged.

Global warming’s nice.
Saves me money on heating.
That seems ironic.

Hustle and bustle.
Ain’t got that out in these parts.
We’re one town over.

Silent but deadly.
Gas leaks all over the town.
This government blows.

Beggars should clean up.
Doesn’t seem like much to ask.
It’s their goddamn mess.

Thursday 12/31/15

Trump’s a douche nozzle.
But he has a right to speak.
He can be peaceful.

Protesters are mean.
If you don’t like Trump stay home.
Trump’s open-minded.

Free speech is for Trump.
Protesters don’t have any.
Next they’ll deport him.

Kid speeds down Main Street.
Cop sees and does not chase him.
Laws are meaningless.

New Hampshire blames us.
Says we’re the reason for drugs.
We don’t have those crops.

Gas under two bucks.
People pay thirty cents more.
They should shop around.

It isn’t hate speech.
They’re just prone to hurting folks.
Religion does that.

Friday 1/1/16

Kids should learn the law.
Amendments apply to Trump.
Let the poor man speak.

Our rights are infringed.
We have a right to be scum.
Slave owners said so.

Tsongas Arena.
Named for a quality man.
Unlike Trump Plaza.

Repairs came out nice.
Looks incredibly nicer.
Father Nick gets thanks.

Beggars ev’rywhere.
It’s like an epidemic.
And they’re all loaded.

Saturday 1/2/16

Tribe members all gone.
Sport logos all we have left.
That’s our heritage.

Poor job snow clearing.
Preschoolers could do better.
There goes the budget.

Plow the width of street.
Things too narrow as it is.
Mice can do better.

Two thousand sixteen.
Hope this year goes much better.
Last year can bite me.

Mice and preschoolers.
Do they make shovels that small?
More storms are coming.