(Note: I am aware that aside from the might of the finest military on the planet, all the 2nd amendment enthusiasts, the people of Texas, and those crazy Michigan Militia guys would never let anyone on team ISIL place a toe on an American Beach…)
…It wouldn’t be a shame the invasion began on Yawkee Way on #TruckDay.
When Carlos Danger recoils in horror and asks “what’s wrong with you?” isn’t that a clue you’re a gaping asshole? Seriously I get it, look at me I’m edgy! I say really edgy things like make fun of the Palins, and donated $1M to keep Obama in office, so I’m cool. This guy is another one of the I know better than you, listen to me while I hide behind my body guard crowd out in Hollywood.
I wonder what his tune would be if it happened in LA? What a smug punchable asshole he is.
OAKLAND, CA—Claiming to be very eager to learn anything about the team’s successful yet mysterious tactics, Americans across the nation reportedly expressed their keen interest Friday in the Oakland A’s winning formula for remaining consistently competitive over the past decade. “Year after year, the A’s win an above-average number of games even though they’re on a far smaller budget than most teams—how do they keep doing that?” said Lowell, MA resident Jake Hughes, 28, adding that someone should at least interview GM Billy Beane and, if possible, get an inside look at the way Oakland’s front office operates. “I suppose it could be pure luck, but something tells me there’s more to the story than that. I wonder—and this is all purely conjecture, of course—if they have some sort of unique system in place to get the optimal value for their payroll: a ‘fiscal ballgame,’ if you will.”
Full article from the Onion here. So if a fictitious Lowellian makes a fake news site is it news? That was the question posed by one of our readers Greg. Good lookin’ out Greg. Nice catch. It don’t think it matters what’s in the secret sauce though, the Sox are stacked four deep in the rotation with a 2004 idiots mentality and Jonny Gomes and his tank helmet. Smell ya later A’s.
They need new Jonny is my homeboy shirts for 2013.
Why do I hate country music? Because of the pageantry that goes with liking it. When you show up at the show and there’s a bunch of creeps dressed like Larry up above, rest assured you’re ears are about to get treated to an audio abortion. Country, Jimmy Buffet, Insane Clown Possy…musicians so mediocre that the audience entertains themselves by wearing ridiculous costumes and racing each other to an alcoholic blackout.
PS…I have little respect for anyone who’s 100 percent, reinvested in the Sox. Look at that picture again and tell me if you think that’s a great idea?