Tag Archives: Lawrence

01.31.15
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Back Off in #Haiku. 1/26-1/31/15

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Backtalk: 1/26/2015

Marky Mark’s pardon.
It he was black they’d give it.
They never do time.

Chelmsford taxpayers.
Fire that damn sonovabitch.
He can’t run our schools.

Pepperell Highway helped.
Removed a recycling bin.
Small request fulfilled.

That cartoonist sucks.
The person from Florida?
Free and overpaid.

Pats in Seattle?
That ain’t where the big game is.
All kinds of problems.

Nothing’s ever free.
Fifty years of high taxes.
Obama degrees.

Bacon scratch tickets.
Hope the payoffs don’t smell good.
I’d never cash it.

Sound Off Jan 26

Pats were innocent.
Investigators found nothing.
Haters run along.

Media trial.
Sportswriters hate winning teams.
Something to prove now.

Methuen taxes.
Making us seniors angry.
I’m a homeowner.

January ends.
Limited amounts of snow.
Budgets still wiped out.

Holy Family.
Polite and professional.
All one could ask for.

Both teams had same balls.
Don’t get what the big deal is.
I’m wicked informed.

Backtalk: 1/27/2015

Reagan and YouTube.
He’d never waste his time there.
He’d have gone to France.

Police logo change.
Made after we bought the cars.
Should have been before.

Cobblestones should go.
They’re ugly and intrusive.
My dad broke a heel.

The Prez hates babies.
Said he’d block H.R. 7.
That makes him pro-death.

Gronkowski spikes balls.
That’s what makes them have less air.
Saw it in a meme.

I’d vote for Romney.
I’m still a true Democrat.
At least he ain’t Bush.

Sound Off 1/27

Not really a gun.
Still counts as armed robbery.
But not possession.

Just mental illness.
She’s not a real Satanist.
Let her get some help.

Guns used for self-harm..
Quickest means for suicide.
No time to rethink.

Leave young kids at home.
They don’t need to see prison.
Hard questions after.

NFL footballs.
Refs should hold them for both teams.
Trust is for suckers.

Timberlane School Board.
Let’s just shut the whole thing down.
No more pettiness.

Sound Off 1/28

Lawrence parking ban.
I’d like to see it enforced.
Plows have work to do,

Don’t quite get the rush.
These are normal household things.
Why wait to buy them?

Clean off your car roof.
Could really cause some problems.
Police should stop you.

Support driving ban.
Makes the plowing easier.
And you won’t get stuck.

Atlantic City.
Casinos never helped it.
Shit hole since day one.

Don’t pick on the Pats.
Have empathy for their fans.
They deserve to win,

Over 55.
Tax break for senior housing.
Not condo owners.

Pay some attention.
Then you’d know ’bout parking bans.
Or at least the storm.

Oughta be a law.
Only essential people,
Can drive during storms.

Enough with the hype.
Just cover the damn weather.
No more preemptions.

’78 yo.
That storm kicked this puppy’s ass.
The moon’s what did it.

’78 yo.
We wanted more pro sports teams.
Let’s build casinos.

About Paterno.
He gave info to his boss.
All you can ask for.

Backtalk: 1/29/2015

Sun writer Feathers.
Nice work on overdoses.
Lucas whines too much.

Overselling storms.
A practice which needs to end.
No one’s buying it.

Walmart in Chelmsford.
Not as good as it could be.
Unenjoyable.

MB price increase.
Have to pay for the buyout.
Understandable.

Should change the slogan.
“More is Less for your Dollar.”
Paying off that debt.

Starving the Russians.
That’s why gas is two dollars.
Increases coming.

Pats cheating is sad.
Why can’t they win honestly?
Cheering for Seahawks.

Backtalk: 1/30/2015

Helped out of snowbank.
Just two random guys out there.
Faith in the humans.

More heroin deaths.
We don’t need a damn pot farm.
Drugs are killing us.

Firefighters clubhouse.
Sidewalks haven’t been shoveled.
Kind of surprising.

We need flame throwers.
The old ones from World War Two.
That’ll melt the snow.

Let inmates shovel.
Drive them to the fire hydrants.
They have it easy.

Old police cruisers.
Huge Buicks and Le Sabres.
That’s what we need now.

Backtalk: 1/31/2015

Stopping at stop signs.
Pretty sure sanders should do that.
Not happening though.

Living on a hill.
Right of way goes to climbers.
That can be tricky.

Side streets don’t look good.
Plowing was impossible.
Home owners lazy.

Billing department.
No longer doing billing.
Have to bill yourself.

High school sports pages.
The Sun should give more box scores.
Like Worcester’s doing.

Tax forms coming slow.
Computers just aren’t that fast.
Faster the old way.

Please don’t call us “guys.”
We’re a table of old broads.
Ladies get respect.

Sound Off: 1/31/2015

Turn off your TV.
Stop crying about what’s on.
Look at your sad life.

Timberlane School Board.
Bunch of immature boob heads.
Bring the old guys back.

Made a call for help.
Methuen folks responded.
Friggin’ love this town.

Snow on a car roof.
Blue lights blinking fast and bright.
Highlight of my week.

I want a tax break.
Old enough but own a house.
Seems pretty backwards.

Shovel out hydrants.
Could be your house that’s burning.
Save firefighters time.

McDonald’s business down.
Backlash for labor issues.
Pay your people more.

Salem school budget.
School Committee can’t change that.
They don’t get a say.

01.25.15
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Back Off in #Haiku. 1/19-1/24/15

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[Please note. The Lawrence paper changed their format so things might have gotten scrambled. Sorry.]

Backtalk: 1/19/2015

Fuel fluctuations.
Show vulnerability.
We’re at their mercy.

Damn that Obama.
Health care and education?
Nothing but evil.

Liz Warren is fake.
Not even really Tribal.
Harvard should know that.

Chelmsford house cleaning.
Whole school administration.
Starting from the top.

Season is over.
Decorations should come down.
Santa came and went.

The Prez is Muslim.
He’s way to laid back ’bout things.
That’s what they’re known for.

Prez hates this country.
Common core ruined the schools.
Smarten up morons.

Tiano should quit.
Went to England for the DoE.
The problems are here.

Tyngsboro roads suck.
The Sun’s article was right.
Can’t wait for paving.

Sound Off, Monday Jan 19

Protest on highway.
Brought to you by Occupy.
Liberal elite.

Heroin issues.
Epidemic proportions.
Don’t legalize weed.

Jail the drug dealers.
Why aren’t they just doing that?
That’d save a few lives.

Drug dealers hate work.
Laziest bastards alives.
Time to start hustling.

Obama hates Christ.
Plus freedom guns and police.
He’s a terrorist.

Lock up drunk drivers.
Nobody ever does that.
Sentence all addicts.

Mayor of Haverhill.
Access station firings.
Malarkey afoot.

Smoke means big huge flames.
Public Access is burning.
Shawn Regan reports.

Baby formula.
Stolen with what intentions?
Starving babe or drugs?

Sound Off, Tuesday

Romney got it right.
Half the country doesn’t work.
We ain’t your mommy.

Government payees.
Lots of retirees and vets.
Mitt hates this country.

Salem High leaders.
Upset about bad rating.
Chastise kids for same.

Haverhill library.
New director now in place.
Thievery should stop.

Gas prices vary.
Shop around and save a bit.
Haffner’s supports you.

Sound Off Wednesday

Pick one of your kin.
Tell them you don’t like taxes.
And you’d rather they die.

Cosby’s innocent.
‘Victims’ took their sweet ass time.
Like they’re traumatized.

If I was like robbed.
I’d tell the police right quick.
Cosby’s innocent.

Timberland’s Metzler.
Got into some big program.
Hacks will do his job.

Stadium needed.
Methuen’s is crumbling down.
Old folks need to pee.

Democrats’ blame game.
Always bring up the Tea Party.
They’re not relevant.

Lib’ral media.
Always making us look bad.
We’re not obstructing.

This Prez won’t play nice.
Just gonna keep screwing us.
He’s the divider.

Dumb Kool Aid drinkers.
I will say this like a chant.
Irony be damned.

Cars park in fire lane.
And take up handicap spots.
Never get tickets.

Baby formula.
Stolen due to street value.
There’s no starving kids.

Use water cannons.
That should remove protesters.
We have laws dammit!

My clothes won’t fit me.
I’m blaming those Chinese kids.
We need more sizes.

Pentucket Scool board.
No ‘World class education.’
Ignore letterhead.

Victims often wait.
Doesn’t mean they weren’t attacked.
Plenty of reasons.

Prez is desperate.
Tax the rich despite loopholes.
They’ll find a way out.

Brady ain’t that good.
Field goal kickers won those Bowls.
Still a good guy though.

Soren Monclova.
Robbed pizza shop at gun point.
Without a license.

Backtalk: 1/22/2015

Taxes going up.
The 47 percent?
They should start paying.

Grocery prices.
Market Basket increases.
We need a Wegman’s.

Don’t fight the pipeline.
Only adds to legal fees.
Bend over and take it.

George Landfill owners.
Lots of taxes owed to town.
High school needs new roof.

School Department steals.
Less money left for road work.
Drop those thieving bums.

Chelmsford should start fresh.
We’re just a sad small city.
School needs drawing boards.

Backtalk: 1/23/2015

Strict gun laws in France.
40 percent fewer deaths.
We can’t lecture them.

Stop taxing the rich.
It just isn’t fair to them.
Hit up the lazy.

More than skin color.
Not your main identity.
Show some character.

Tiano should leave.
Take all his cronies with him.
I don’t want him here.

1st Amendment’s dumb.
Let’s people say some mean things.
Leave the gods alone.

Backtalk: 1/24/2015

Rep Marc Lombardo.
Having more closed-door meetings.
Wants transparency.

MB prices up.
Food quality still down.
Blame the bonuses.

Gas prices went up.
Righties blamed the President.
Thank him when they drop.

“Drill baby drill” chants.
Sarah Pailin got it right.
Give her some credit.

Civil War cannons.
Lowell Cemetery lot.
Kids should field trip that.

Saturday Sound Off

Underinflated.
How I handle my ego.
This is about me.

Patriots are bad.
More evil than the Yankees.
Feeling deflated.

Abortion protest.
Started as a peaceful march.
Doesn’t get covered.

Hold off on station.
Casino money comes soon.
We’ll buy safety then.

Lawrence town Council.
Too embarrassing to watch.
Let’s vote for grown ups.

01.10.15
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Back Off in #Haiku. 1/5-1/10/15

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[Please note: let the Olympics come to Boston/Lowell. Let them threaten to tear down some old dugout in Chelmsford. Allow them to entertain the notion of housing the athletes in Plaistow. Please? It’ll be nine solid years of material and they might even fix the Rourke Bridge for us ].

Backtalk: 1/5/2015

Protesters should read.
Starting with those signs they hold.
Enough is enough.

Lowell tax increase.
Can’t afford that on social.
Thanks so fucking much.

Beer on a Sunday.
All the bars can be open.
Let the stores sell some.

Loved the article.
Alexandra Coppola.
Really good story.

Open Meeting Law.
Bastards ignored it again.
Too much arrogance.

Suppprt the workers.
They earned ev’ry penny.
Their risk rewarded.

Sound Off Jan 5

News means it’s recent.
Obama/Ayers is old.
Scalise/Klan just broke.

Gates is generous.
Stop hating all billionaires.
They’re all like Bill Gates.

I envy the rich.
I’m sure all smart people do.
Let’s play some baseball.

Raise the drinking age.
Put it up around thirty.
Young people are dumb.

Backtalk: 1/6/2015

Tewksbury Center.
It needs to be prettier.
What investors want.

Beautiful baby.
First Lowell child born this year.
Aging already.

Had fun at Lo Kai.
Only 25 a head.
Favors included.

Sound Off Jan 6

Jeb Bush shouldn’t run.
I want a Republican.
But that name is cursed.

Gates followed Turner.
Most billionaires aren’t that nice.
Ball flew past your head.

Prices all went up.
Artie T. lied to us all.
Up by 4 percent.

Unions aren’t choices.
Employees forced to pay in.
Funds go to campaigns.

Smoking age went up.
What about the drinking age?
Kids suck at drinking.

Backtalk: 1/7/2015

Lowell’s “Sister City.”
Visitors sent to Phnom Penh.
That took forty years?

Make-A-Wish bowling.
Crew De Lowell fundraiser.
Donations helpful.

Gas prices came down.
What about ev’rything else?
Gas blamed for raises.

Trees at Saint Anne’s Church.
All of them were taken down.
Reason not disclosed.

Sound Off Jan 7

Prices stayed the same.
We just lost a good discount.
Art was being nice.

Uncoop’rative.
Don’t have to like the Mayor.
But just work with him.
-Lawrence

Methuen tax rate.
They think my home’s worth more now.
Insult to maiming.

Stop blaming the rich.
They don’t create poverty.
Bad life choices do.

Unions gave us rights.
40 hour week and much more.
Read Sinclair’s ‘Jungle.’

Backtalk: 1/8/2015

Chelmsford government.
More corrupt than federal.
Incompetent too.

Chelmsford Manager.
Destroying our history.
Go back to Harvard!

Ev’ry life matters.
Just learn to obey the cops.
Have you seen “They Live”?

Dracut tax increase.
Adding to our homelessness.
No bridge to live ‘neath.

Tea Party “scandals.”
Benghazi VA healthcare.
Not really scandals

Lowell tax increase.
Pensions were managed poorly.
Shouldn’t have happened.

Sound Off Jan 8

Layover protest.
Good size turnout on cold day.
Make it in their state.

The Cardillo Post.
Great org for Italian kids.
We’re all older now.

Two types of homeless:
Those who choose and those who don’t.
Both types need some help.

Don’t whine about Art.
The discount was generous.
Crybabies bug me.

Leave Artie alone.
Don’t know where you’re buying stuff.
But MB’s still cheapest.

Backtalk: 1/9/2015

Delay would have worked.
Didn’t have to cancel school.
Weather heated up.

12 percent pay raise.
To people who never worked.
Social went up squat.

Put up blue candles.
Show support for the police.
‘specially Roxanne.

Sound Off Jan 9

Bring the layover.
Plaistow is the perfect place.
Nothing to ruin.

Plaistow needs Mass trains.
Northern plates in Haverhill lots.
Save yourselves the trip.

Support the pipeline.
Already have tons of it.
What’s a little more?

Protesting commies.
Saw ‘Revcom’ sign at rally.
That’s who’s against pipes.

Rich cause poverty.
Other factors are minor.
Greed isn’t healthy.

Backtalk: 1/10/2015

Chelmsford school board.
Tiano and McWilliams.
They both need to go.

Roadrunner service.
Drivers are nice and helpful.
Forgot about that.

Sending diplomats.
Lowell to Cambodia.
Just a vacation.

Chelmsford history.
Demolished without a care.
Shame of the present.

People whine too much.
Artie could give food away.
They’d ask ’bout gluten.

12.27.14
by

Back Off in #Haiku. 12/22-12/27/14.

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Backtalk: 12/22/2014

Taxes increasing.
Can’t blame Lynch for it this time.
Wagon train heads north.

Love Cuban cigars.
Obama’s the greatest Prez.
His Care cures cancer.

Kmart bird killer.
We knew he was evil back then.
We were placing bets.

No crime in Dracut?
Or are cops just too lazy?
Too much paperwork.

Chelmsford should learn math.
School Committee overdrawn.
Serve them refreshments.

I’m 87.
I still say “Merry Christmas.”
And read newspapers.

Nick DeSilvio.
Focus on the school budget.
Not nepotism.

Sound Off Dec 22

Activists clueless.
War is sometimes the answer.
Remember Nazis.

Reagan fought unions.
Airport workers made too much.
He did it for us.

Unions save workers.
We’d have nothing without them.
Depression was real.

We need power plants.
Industrial park was first.
Know where you move to.

It isn’t torture.
And who cares if it might be?
Patriots kick ass.

Backtalk 12/23/14

Watch ‘Wonderful Life.’
That movie is magical.
Watch it ev’ry year.

Pot farm a huge win?
Manager has glaucoma.
We need a vision.

Cupples Square hookers.
Same two girls night after night.
No reason for that.

Packages stolen?
UPS isn’t concerned.
I once worked for them.

Warren not running?
I hope she keeps that promise.
Or I’ll leave the States.

State doesn’t rob us.
Just prints more lotto tickets.
Riding the addicts.

Tewksbury center.
Fill the empty windows first.
Flowers won’t draw much.

Backtalk 12/24/14

They’re not all addicts.
Homelessness is common now.
People have to eat.

Young man paid my bill.
Market Basket on Wood Street.
Merry Christmas sir.

Backtalkers sound old.
Entitled 90-year-olds.
Get over yourselves.

Lowell ain’t Chelmsford.
Smaller increase is still high.
Seniors can’t pay it.

Backtalk: 12/26/2014

Utilities increase.
Pipeline needed to save money.
Tree huggers choke us.

Don’t pay for sex change.
Not where I want taxes spent.
Children are dieing.

Dracut does plenty.
Buy a scanner and listen.
Arrests ev’ry day.

Goodwill towards men?
Let’s throw in women and kids.
Peace on Earth to all.

Ungrateful shoppers.
4 percent discount all year.
Hats off to Art T.

Backtalk: 12/27/2014

National Grid hike.
Rate went up 60 percent.
That hurts old people.

Electric rates went up.
Seventy bucks more this month.
And it’s Christmas time.

Menorahs are up.
Lowell’s a real melting pot.
City Hall looks nice.

Interview movie.
Killing an active leader?
That did cross the line.

I don’t like Coakley.
Chicks shouldn’t have confidence.
Go find a new job.

12.14.14
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Back Off in #Haiku. 12/8-13/2014

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[Please note: sometimes I write original haiku, no angry people required. These haiku are of about the same quality though so… you know… no big awards yet. Here’s a few examples.

We are all giants.
On Little People Island.
Except the midgets.

Don’t call me “grampa.”
I never had any kids.
Blood tests all proved it.

Moshpit clears sight lines.
I can see the singer now.
Short people in the back.]

Backtalk 12/8/14

Conflict of int’rest.
Not relevant to Chelmsford.
Nick D hired his wife.

Won’t vote for Dems now.
They just give money away.
I’m am not a troll.

Commodore Ballroom.
Kids today don’t have spots to meet.
Need a place like that.

Christmas tree smokestack.
That always makes me happy.
Stare at it all night.

Selective outrage.
White kid in Salt Lake got shot.
Officer was black.

Officials greedy.
Seventy thou with raise due.
Overpaid at half.

Cosby accusers.
Should be ashamed of themselves.
Money is the goal.

Sound Off 12/8/14

U.S. in second.
Not ‘cuz we buy Chinese shit.
It’s Obama’s fault.

Our founding fathers.
All spinning in their coffins.
Constitution killed.

Liberals own press.
That’s why the gov is corrupt.
Lamestream media.

Prez ignores Congress.
Picks and chooses his own laws.
Empowers the hate.

Those damn protesters.
Nothing but raging hatred.
What The Prez wanted.

Flunk the President.
Give this guy a passing grade?
Hands up in defeat.

Dems just buying votes.
Government spends way too much.
Right wing has no say.

Fifty years of Dems.
That’s why we’re in the shitter.
Scaring wealth away.

Corporations leave.
Take jobs to other countries.
Damn your labor laws.

Three thousand folks quit.
Just moved out of the country.
Because Dems robbed them.

Anonymity.
Gives people the strength to speak.
Just like alcohol.

Anonymity.
Like a closet for loud folks.
But we know your voice.

Plowers all greedy.
Don’t deserve a raise at all.
Kiss my frozen ass.

Handicap spaces.
Dollar Tree only has two.
Too many old folks.

Backtalk: 12/9/2014

Put stuff up for vote.
Taxpayers micromanage.
The way it should be.

Misplaced compassion.
Lots of people have been shot.
Not all of them thugs.

Al Sharpton racist.
A poisonous ministry.
The Prez ain’t helping.

Protesters killed stores.
They should pass the hat for them.
Livelihoods ruined.

Chelmsford school system.
Don’t know if they’re too inept.
Or just arrogant.

Pedestrians struck.
Prob’ly ’cause of how they dress.
They’re looking for it.

Sound Off Dec 9

Graffiti is art.
As long as there’s quality.
Any schmuck can tag.

Raise the minimum.
Republicans should do that.
Get credit for it.

Don’t use debit cards.
Hackers will ruin your life.
No safeguards in place.

Getting kids I.D.’d?
What kind of event is this?
That’s not my Christmas.

Chill Fest is dieing.
Name change is just the last straw.
Coldness killed Christmas.

Rich folks are brilliant.
The Larry Birds of money.
You’re just not that good.

Rich older people.
Money just going to waste.
We should tax them more.

Iranian jets.
Vietnam-era F-4’s.
Where do they get parts?

Iranian jets.
Engines are made by GE.
Friends of Obama.

Backtalk: 12/10/2014

Principal was mean.
Shouldn’t yell at the parents.
Even if they suck.

I slipped on the ice.
Group of people helped me up.
Lowell ain’t all bad.

Chelmsford school issues.
Two-year report almost due.
Losing library.

Assistant DA’s.
Lowest paid courtroom workers.
Clearly deserve more.

DeSilvio quote:
“They’re talking out of their ass.”
Vote that bastard out.

Mr. Tiano.
Confused about the uproar.
He needs to go too.

Sound Off Dec 10,

My soul is ashamed.
Seven Lawrence councilors.
Sitting with Mayor.

Mayor Lantigua.
Purged good workers for their ties.
This be not justice.

Lawrence is tiny.
Covers less than eight square miles.
We are a small town.

Residency hurts.
Not a realistic demand.
Smart folks don’t live here.

Coal mines closing up.
Miners will survive longer.
They’ll be carnies now.

“Coal mining just sucks.
No future in it at all.”
– Lib’ral Arts major.

Fought against Seabrook.
Fighting against the pipeline.
Nothing but NIMBY.

Purchase a SnowBrum.
Won’t damage your car’s paint job.
Ice chunks hurt drivers.

Gas will rise again.
That’s what Obama will do.
It’s what he ran on.

Backtalk: 12/11/2014

You call that torture?
They’re cutting our throats open.
We just give them baths.

Middlesex College.
New President approved quickly.
Suspicious minds nod.

Minimum must go.
It’s unfair to billionaires.
Don’t make them angry.

Can’t find Christmas cards.
ACLU burned then all.
Have to write notes now.

Won’t fight injustice.
But I’ll protest school budgets.
Looting the lunchroom.

Kill the country club.
Use that to fund the high school.
Students aren’t golfing.

Sound Off Dec 11

Slippery sidewalks.
All schools should have been delayed.
Children are fragile.

“Don’t talk of torture.
That just makes us all look bad.”
-Commander Cosby.

Rich aren’t investing.
That’s why there aren’t better jobs.
Tax them till it helps.

Invest in workers.
Don’t move jobs to Asian hell holes.
Treasonous bastards.

One-percent pay gap.
400,000 ain’t much.
But they made the cut.

One third of taxes.
How much the one-percent pays.
Seems unfair to them.

Close the Sandown School.
Responsible thing to do.
Money gets tighter.

Backtalk: 12/12/2014

Bikelanes don’t get used.
Bikes are all on the sidewalk.
Waste of resources.

Business manager.
Still being paid to stay home?
Cash needed elsewhere.

Too much heroin.
Cities aren’t doing enough.
Lock up all dealers.

Served in Vietnam.
Spat on by hippies after.
Flunk the protesters.

K-Murph’s idea.
Menorahs up at Christmas.
Let’s give him credit.

Sound Off Dec 12

Chillfest got cold rain.
God was mad about name change.
Blinded by the smite.

Filmmaker in jail.
For vid that pissed off Muslims.
Senators go free.

Pricey consultant.
School board can’t cover that cost.
Other expenses.

Population increase.
Jobs never kept up with it.
Good ones got shipped out.

Protesting students.
Finals shouldn’t be delayed.
Students aren’t learning.

Backtalk: 12/13/2014

A simple delay.
Enough time to let ice melt.
All we were asking.

Protesters skipped class.
Would have done more good in school.
Protests are useless.

UML busses.
Hiding out away from school.
And they’re all empty.

Homeless veterans.
That’s who we should be housing.
Not some illegals.

Billerica crime up.
Be sure to lock up your house.
Or just stay in it.

Sound Off Dec 13

Gramps was a miner.
No shame in a hard day’s work.
This gen don’t get that.

China uses coal.
They understand how things work.
Eco-cars use coal.

Retaliation.
Might come for torture reports.
That’d be Cheney’s fault.

North Andover High.
Principal suspended coach.
Don’t mess with our sports.

10.16.14
by

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/16/14.

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[I understand sometimes it can be hard to catch when I’m making fun of something and when the original post actually says something better than I can with just seventeen syllables. I think this might be one of those days where you’ll want to check the source materials, Backtalk in the Lowell Sun and Sound Off in the Lawrence Eagle Tribune. Normally though I sum things up pretty well. Enjoy.]

Backtalk:

Obama takes guns.
Gives us Ebola instead.
Tinfoil hat unstrapped.

Baker likes sick time.
But not for small businesses.
Sneeze in my omelette.

Too many detours.
Ten minutes added to commute.
Someone’s gonna pay.

Murphy’s replacement.
18th Middlesex District.
Needs to malleable.

Corey Belanger.
Got us 17 million.
Now fix the damn bridge.

Sound Off

Learn to speak Spanish.
Or stay out of bodegas.
eso tan difícil?

Plaistow train station.
We voted no already.
Keep the Massholes out.

Malone did her job.
Superintendents get bucks.
Don’t need accolades.

Birth control costs.
WalMart and Hobby Lobby.
Better than you think.

The right hates workers.
They’ll never help you at all.
Stop voting for them.

Gen’ral Lafayette.
Gave us freedom from England.
Keep his statue clean.

03.10.14
by

Merrimack Valley Yelp Reviews: A Lawrence McDonalds

Mcdonald

My McDonalds experience began with a bathroom emergency in the heart of Lawrence
and I suppose it ended a few hours later with another bathroom
emergency.

I went with the #3, Quarter Pounder, obviously with cheese.
 My request for a medium-rare patty was met with a compliant nod, and a shout to
the back in a language I am not familiar with.  (I imagine it was French based
on the perception that French is the preferred language in all culinary
schools.)

The fries were cooked slightly short of perfection, which had
me questioning the drive and work ethic of the chap who was operating the fries.
 “C’mon bro, the fries are the heart and soul of this dish.  You gotta mimic the
arches when generously salting those bad-larry’s.  There’s ten kids over at
Burger King that would kill for this job.”

The whole trick to enjoying McDonalds is making sure something makes it onto the tray that can trick the
palette into forgetting about that questionable beef product that just rolled
through the neighborhood.  Perfect fries usually is enough, but when the chefs
are having an off day, there are alternatives.  Lucky for me, it’s Shamrock
shake season…a vanilla shake with green food coloring….somehow changing the
view out the picture window from Lawrence triple-deckahs to the rolling hills of
County Mayo.

3 stahs!