New City Manager: A Real Mill City Cinderella Story

 

New Lowell City Manager Kevin Murphy (Center), with Chief Meehan and some unknown guy on the left.  Photo stolen from Jennifer Myers.

I understand this is the new Lowell City Manager Kevin Murphy (Center), with Chief Meehan and some unknown guy on the left celebrating Double Chin Day in 2013. Photo stolen from Jennifer Myers.

March Madness ended with a bang last night in the chambers of City Hall.  The field…nothing short of exceptional. As far as we know, at least 5 of the 30 candidates had most of their mental faculties.  The battle was fierce, the carnage was epic, and  in the end, one man was left standing.  But not just any man.  Not the man that 172 of 174 ESPN analysts had as their “locks.”  No, no!  What we got here is a bonafide Cinderella story.

A man named Murph.

Murph’s resume may not have been as prestigious as the Subway Sandwich Artist or as tailor made as the Columbian guy that failed to attend a Chilean flag raising.  But he lists his hometown as this place called “The Highlands”…which has yielded some of the greatest leaders this earth has ever seen…William Wallace, Robert the Bruce, Robin of Locksley, Pat Donovan of Van Greenby, to name a few.  That’s good enough for me.   I look forward to getting to know this guy a little better over the coming years…and as you can probably tell, “the pleasure is all on this side of the table.”

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What We’ve Learned: Ned’s February 2014 Local Politics Update

GrapesMercier2

I suppose I’m a little late with my February updates, but it’s to be expected as I am a product of an underfunded school system.

Bill Samaris is dominating.  Seriously.  This guy is everywhere.   Council agendas. The Lowell Sun.  WCAP.  State of the Union addresses.  Throwing out first pitches.   Would somebody mind letting him know that this is not an election year?  Pace yourself, Billy boy!  You don’t want to pull a hammy.

I’m pretty sure we have a new City Manager. Congrats to Kevin Murphy on the well-deserved position.  First order of business is figuring out which properties to seize to add another 9-holes to Mt Pleasant.  I’m sure there will be a least one super long par 4 so all the members can have a sexual experience with one another every time they reach it in regulation.

Mayor Elliott is finally settling into a groove.  Council Meetings have finally settled into a nice flow.  We’re in, we’re out, no nonsense.  It’s like watching Mark Buehrle pitch… if Mark Buehrle kept a Mayor Murphy and Bernie Lynch voodoo doll in the dugout and was constantly leaving the mound to go stick pins in it.

Downtown Revitalization Starts and Ends with Mill No.5:  “The people of Lowell elected me because I know the difference between happy endings and great economic opportunity” is what I imagine Corey Belanger said after his now famous expedition with Grapes to snuff out discreet rub’n tugs in downtown mill complexes.  As it turns out, there’s this little project called Mill No.5 happening down there that nobody knew or heard about until now, thanks to Lewis and Clark.

As for the handjobs at Mill No.5, they’re probably not completely off the table but you’ll likely have to buy some artwork first.

The new Chief of Police is a Public Relations Tour de Force.  The City couldn’t look any better in the eyes of outsiders.  Images of gun battles and executions have faded to the background courtesy of a possible hooker who officially had too many Killer Millers.  Station morale is no doubt at an all-time high.  And as if there weren’t enough winners in this one; it looks like Mayor Elliott will most definitely be able to deliver on his campaign promise to hire new cops…anywhere from 3-5, I suppose.

Congrats to Councilor Grapes Mercier.  The only thing that I understood from what she was telling us last evening is that she recently adopted Dave Daly, and loves him like a son.  I’m pretty sure she thinks that he actually drives the ambulances.

Also, if you still wonder the reasons (not related to the 21st amendment) why Grapes tops the ticket every two years, take a look what she’s mustered since I last chimed in:

Scuttled a Library Board appointment. (Unsuccessfully)

Establish Guidelines on what the Mayoral portrait should consist of. (Pending I suppose).

Is inspecting every pane of glass in the city for safety.

Paved way for a garden on the Christian Hill Res.

Discovered this new place called Mill No.5.

Repainting parking lines for her faithful constituents at the Senior Center.

Diaboliical.

Legislative Breakfast Caption Contest

“These opening bands are shit. Can we get to Dick Howe Jr. already.”