Keep your head on a swivel intrepid readers.
Keep your head on a swivel intrepid readers.
Fresh off winning the Novice NAGA nogi Heavyweight New England Championship in Submission grappling last weekend Teddy Panos hit me with this bomb this morning, “Apply to fight George Zimmerman and win $10 grand.” Sold. Fired off an email to email@example.com this morning telling them who I was, that I’m from Lowell and Micky Ward could train me for this car wreck. I don’t hate George Zimmerman but $10 large is reason enough to whip anyone’s ass. So I ask you readers of The Cabot to email firstname.lastname@example.org and tell fight promoter Damon Feldman to pick me Mark Lynch over the other applicants because of whatever reason you want to give. C’mon you know you want to see me knock him out.
NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) — Question his quarterbacking skills all you want. But when it comes to college football, Tim Tebow knows his stuff.
“Auburn might be a team of destiny, but tonight, Florida State is deeper from top to bottom,” Tebow said. “(With) Jameis Winston and Telvin Smith’s leadership in the fourth quarter, I think they win 35-31.”
Freaking Tebow man, nails the score as FSU won 34-31. He must have a direct line to the big man upstairs. I don’t know about you guys but if you’re the type who likes to call a bookie for NFL games I’d be watching ESPN this weekend to see what knowledge Tebow’s dropping for the masses on the world-wide leader. It’s a shame he throws worse than Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite otherwise he might still be in the NFL.
This is recently single Courtney Stodden. She’s 19, and just filed for divorce from her 53-year-old husband actor Doug Hutcherson. I also want to call attention to the Erin Cox saga in North Andover, which she finally admitted she was lying and was actually drinking at the party. Also the waitress who “wasn’t tipped because she’s a lesbian.” Which leads me to Lunenburg and the Phillips-Brazier family “racist graffiti” hoax, that also led to the Lunenburg football team canceling the rest of their season. In each case (besides the divorce) the “media” reported it and each “incident” was met with public outrage and some form of backlash. In each incident we found out much later they were all lies. Our media is so quick to report anything now that they are either too lazy or refuse to dig a little deeper that in a quest to be first to report anything they finish last in credibilty and accuracy. What do all these stories have in common? they are all just as fake as Courtney Stodden’s boobs.
It’s not saving money buying stuff we really don’t need for people we might not even like, it’s these trample compilation videos of people acting the fool looking to save 10% on shit when they should be in bed sleeping like a normal human being. Awesome.
Just pure genius from Bill Hicks. Am I the only one who thinks Marie Sweeney over at Dick Howe hasn’t had this day’s worth of posts in the pipeline for months with this date circled on her calendar? Didn’t think so.
So part of me wants to believe that Andy Kaufman faked his death almost 30 years ago and he’s been living as a stay at home Dad making sweet banana walnut pancakes for his daughter on the regular. The other part of me thinks this is a complete put on and that Andy Kaufman’s brother out Kaufman’ed Kaufman with this “revelation”. What say you?
This clip is a three minute sumation of why Yoko Ono sucks. End. of. Story. I don’t care what Mara Dolan thinks.
As I said this morning with Teddy Panos on WCAP Why must we eat the animals? Because they delicious silly! Can you imagine all the car accidents if this horde of deer was running around downtown Lowell? Oh and here’s the Durgin Park prime rib-
I would just pick that thing up and eat it like a drum stick. Look at that vegans. That is your kryptonite!!!!
If you were wondering what’s going into the old Gary’s Ice cream parlor on Merrimack and Dutton Street that then turned into a cell phone store then wonder no more. Need a DNA test to see if “you da baby daddy” or not? Or maybe you want to find out if that “skeezah” you met down Molly Kay’s is your long-lost cousin before going on a date? Look no further!! MVP Testing is moving in!!! The Chamber of Commerce is even having a ribbon cutting at 2pm on October 11th!!! No word on if Maury will be there to sign your test results as of yet. Bringing families together no matter how psyched you are!!! Awesome!! I’m hoping they’re running a two for one special as a welcome to the neighborhood deal. So convenient for high school students and trolley riding tourists. Just get a cheek swab, hit up Fuse for some lunch, and then go and find out what the deal is!!! I for one think this is a fantastic message and image for a city “on the come” as they say in Vegas.