Has there ever been a hotter summer look than the Facekini?

Women balaclava style face masks at a beach, Qingdao, Shandong Province, China - 14 Aug 2014

Women balaclava style face masks at a beach, Qingdao, Shandong Province, China - 14 Aug 2014

The Guardian

Swimmers in the eastern Chinese city of Qingdao have already made waves on the internet for their bizarre swimming gear: colourful, full-face masks. Dubbed ‘facekini,’ the fabric masks cover a swimmer’s entire head and neck down to the collar bones. Holes are cut for eyes, nostrils and mouth

Women balaclava style face masks at a beach, Qingdao, Shandong Province, China - 14 Aug 2014

Not since my buddy Dunny  (@PistoffIrishman) unleashed the Doc Martin/Coorduroy Pant Summer Collection down at Seabrook Beach, has the high fashion industry been turned on its head like this.

A flummoxed yet intrigued Tim Gunn reading this blog.

A flummoxed yet intrigued Tim Gunn reading this blog.

The Facekini is the answer to all your summer worries.  Did you neglect to do a couple sit-ups during your winter hibernation…aka you’re looking all frumpy and fat as shit?  No worries, throw on a Facekini.   Ordinarily, I’m one in a sea of muffin tops, sucking-in as I stroll the beach at low tide.  When I put on my electric facekini, the beach bunnies take notice.  I’m the mysterious, sexy guy sending out the vibes, flooding more coastal basements than a tropical storm…and that’s even before I tame the waves with an epic body surfing sesh’.

Say what you will about the Chinese, but they’re clearly best in class when it comes to stamping out self-confidence issues.  Take for example this strapping lad who appears to be housing China’s nuclear arsenal in his swimming trunks…heads up Hawaii.

chinesedefense

 

Creatures of the Lowell Line

highfashion
I can’t wait until this guy rolls out his fall collection. High Fashion at its highest. The only regret is that I wasn’t sharing this delightful pageantry with Timmy Gunn in a two-seater.

SOFC Olympics Update: Not From Sochi

The throes of the Olympic Games are upon us.  And since my interest peaked when Barbados bested Bermuda by adding flip flops to their opening ceremony ensemble, we thought it would be best to assign our Olympic CouchPress Credential to someone who has a real grasp on what the Olympics are, and what this ancient athletic fiesta is all about.  Covering the Olympics for SOFC will be Alysha Lynch, curator and captain of WickedMuddy.com.  Mud Racing at this point has more merit as an Olympic event than most of this nonsense anyway….

Alysha on the BEST moments so far in the Olympics:

Skiathelon

1.       Skiathlon coverage:  I don’t even know the guys name that is doing the coverage for NBC but give that guy an Oscar for his enthusiasm for a sport that is as boring as watching paint dry.   I found myself getting excited watching the men trying to beat out one another on skis to get better positioning and worrying if the US guy was ok when he got tripped by another athlete.  And then they threw in a news piece about one of Norway’s rising stars in the sport of skiathlon, I was ready to order my Norway gear to show my support! Continue reading