Eight dewey’s before the age of 50 is about as prolific as it gets.

Lowell Sun

LOWELL — A 47-year-old city man is facing his eighth drunken driving charge after Dracut police arrested him Saturday night after he nearly crashed into a Dracut police cruiser.

Daniel G. Silva, of 8 Riverby St., will be arraigned Monday in Lowell District Court on charges of operating under the influence of alcohol — fifth or subsequent offense, speeding, marked lanes violation, failure to stop for police, uninsured motor vehicle, unregistered motor vehicle, operating a motor vehicle on a revoked license, and attaching plates.

According to court documents, a Dracut police officer was driving along Nashua Road at 10:20 p.m. when he saw a 2001 Dodge van coming up fast behind nearly striking the cruiser before braking. When the officer checked the license plate, it came back to a Honda Civic.

After pulling over, Silva, nearly fell out of his vehicle, repeatedly saying, “I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry indeed.  Do you know how hard it is to be stopped for drunk driving without other cars, pedestrians, or inanimate roadside objects entering the equation?  That’s not an endorsement of drinking and driving.  That’s a statistical reality when you consider the amount of Police Officers out there for every maniac that gets behind the wheel beyond .08. What we’ve got here and an outlier’s outlier. Assuming Daniel Silva started drinking and driving on his 21st birthday (and I don’t see any character flags that would suggest otherwise), he’s averaged a DUI for every 3.25 years since 1988.  That’s what they call “Ruthian” on the dewey circuit.  He’s a first ballot’er if I’ve ever seen one.

PS.  Speaking of first ballot’ers, if there were a Merrimack Valley Drunk Driver Hall of Fame, it would be in Billerica right?

DUI with child in the BACK seat?!? What’s going on in Billerica?

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Lowell Sun

BILLERICA — A 40-year-old Billerica woman was arrested on Labor Day after allegedly driving drunk with a child in the car, according to the Billerica Police Department.

Kristin Ward is being charged with operating under the influence of alcohol, child endangerment while operating under the influence, reckless operation of a motor vehicle, and alcohol from an open container.

Generally the youth of Billerica can pilot anything from ATV’s to a fan boats by the age of 10 months. Two wheels, four wheels, eighteen wheels, you name it…a baby Billerican can drop a clutch in it. Partly for means of survival on the Billerican frontier, but mostly for circumstances like this. And for that, leaving your mom hanging like this is pretty disconcerting. I don’t know what this kid’s problem is, but sitting there in your cozy car seat while your hammered mom slaloms through a parking lot is pretty uncouth. Grab the wheel, bro! A sad day in Billerica indeed.