Best part of black friday?

It’s not saving money buying stuff we really don’t need for people we might not even like, it’s these trample compilation videos of people acting the fool looking to save 10% on shit when they should be in bed sleeping like a normal human being. Awesome.

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Last night on Kimmel…..

 

kanye

Besides the fact that nothing really good happened except for Kanye needing to wipe his mouth and take the fuzz off his head?  What a snooze fest.  I get it, you’re famous, rich, and hang out at fashion week.  Part two is pretty much a continous name dropping humblebrag.  What a douche.

 

 

Part one of the thigh rubbing snoozefest.

 

Part two.

 

Tonight on Kimmel…..

  

So tonight the most pompous egomaniacal celebrity I can think of, and guy I’d most love to punch in the face on planet earth will be appearing on Kimmel to hash out him being butt hurt because he was made fun of….again.   Learn to take a joke stupid.  I can’t wait to see the footage tomorrow and watch this guy make a horses ass of himself for the frillionth time.   Of course this could be a twerk fail like setup.   Seriously, can you think of someone who could use being humbled by getting punched in the mush more than Kanye West?  Remember this?

What a douche.

The dulcet tones of Josh Groban.

Pittsburgh Pirates fans being dummies

If you listen to weei the old bit was that if the Red Sox lost in the playoffs fans would line up on the Tobin bridge to jump off out of depression that the Sox blew it.  Again.  Not in Pittsburgh though.  These momos are so fired up about winning a play in-game that they’re ACTUALLY jumping off bridges.  Seriously.  I know the last time the Pirates were in the playoffs was the tail end of Bush 41’s administration but seriously guys act like you’ve been there before.  Your team made the playoffs.  Big deal.  But then again being classless comes natural for the mouth breathers from the ‘burgh.  They even took some swings on Mat Latos’ wife at the game last night.  Klassy.   I mean it WAS an away game right?  What did she expect?  To be treated with a modicum of respect?  In Pittsburgh?  I know asking an awful lot.

That little gem is being worn to Steelers home games like you read about.  Who could have predicted Aaron Hernandez was a criminal mastermind wannabe thug?  At least the Pats cut him before he even hit his holding cell.  Oh and didn’t your current QB rape a chick in a bathroom stall?  Go Cardinals.

Alive. Unique. Inspiring.

If you were wondering what’s going into the old Gary’s Ice cream parlor on Merrimack and Dutton Street that then turned into a cell phone store then wonder no more.  Need a DNA test to see if “you da baby daddy” or not?  Or maybe you want to find out if that “skeezah” you met down Molly Kay’s is your long-lost cousin before going on a date?  Look no further!!  MVP Testing is moving in!!!  The Chamber of Commerce is even having a ribbon cutting at 2pm on October 11th!!!  No word on if Maury will be there to sign your test results as of yet.  Bringing families together no matter how psyched you are!!!  Awesome!!  I’m hoping they’re running a two for one special as a welcome to the neighborhood deal.  So convenient for high school students and  trolley riding tourists.  Just get a cheek swab, hit up Fuse for some lunch, and then go and find out what the deal is!!!  I for one think this is a fantastic message and image for a city “on the come” as they say in Vegas.   

GFYS Grantland. Seriously.

I don’t think I’m alone in the fact that I can’t take Bill Simmons seriously anymore.  What used to be appointment reading (his mailbag) is now something I haven’t looked at in YEARS.  I unfollowed him on twitter over a year ago and I haven’t listened to a podcast in just as long.  If he’s on ESPN I might give him a couple of minutes.  When he launched Grantland I said he officially jumped the shark.  What a pretentious name.  Just oozes douche.  He used to be one of us, then he moved to LA and got soft.  Like baby shit soft.  I get it, LA changes people.  But today my ire was raised even further by this nonsense column by one Steven Haden. 

“Welcome to Escape From Pop Purgatory, where we check out new music made by people who are more well known than 98 percent of the oppressively “cool” artists over whom the media obsesses, and yet are commonly perceived to be years past the point of their cultural relevance. (Pop Purgatory is fame plus time.) Because we’re unwilling to let albums released by established if unfashionable pop culture institutions come and go without a proper listen, we’re giving these damned souls a shot at redemption — or at least some much-needed publicity outside of their respective fan bubbles. In this installment, we look at a laid-back effort from ’90s rapper/folk singer Everlast.”

Seems like a great premise for an article right?  Only he shits all over Everlast for the whole article with his snide little digs.  Full disclosure I’m checking out of work at 5pm for vacation and had the Missus download “The Life Acoustic” by Everlast for me.  I plan on listening to that thing like a twelve year old listens to Wandi Wrection.  I’ve always been an Everlast fan.  Liked House of Pain, loved Whitey Ford sings the blues.  Love when he’s on Rogan’s podcast even if I might catch flak for even bringing it up.   But this hipster asshole actually gets paid to shit on famous people.  ‘Murica ain’t it grand?

hipster

(To catch a hipster)

Back off Whale Pants….. She’s with me!!!

whale-pants

Grabbed this photo from the media library wing of what’s left of Mr. Mill City.  I’ve never been to Nantucket.  I’m more of an Edgartown kinda guy.  But if I saw myself in whale pants I’d kick my own ass.  Tobe’s buddies call him Whale Pants.  “I’m not sure if you heard, but my friends call me ‘Whale Pants.’  Would you like to know why?”