Cool bro needed to break in a pair of Rainbows (TriBeCa)

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Cool bro needed to break in a pair of Rainbows (TriBeCa)
Looking to hire a brah to break in my new Rainbow flops. I don’t have time to do it and I need them broken in like yesterday cause my feet are totally soft from rockin’ my Tod’s driving mocs all winter. This isn’t just your normal everyday flip flop break-in job, I need you to imitate my whole deal so they’re like proper.
First off my gate, you’ve gotta walk like me to get these puppies to fit me right, think McConaughey meets the guy you wish you were who walks out of Citi Bank HQ on a casual Friday, picture a Patagonia fleece vest with a Brooks Bros. non-iron.
Second, you need to go places where I’ll wear ’em to get them used to the terrain. Tribeca Tap House, the Brandy Library, Tiny’s, the Frying Pan, and the Boat Basin. Don’t FUCKING bring these things to Brooklyn, I know you think the roof of Berry Park in Williams-balls is the boner, but it’s just for poor people who can’t afford 230 Fifth.
Outfit provided and pictured below, includes boot koozie in case you need something to help you jam harder to Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show. If you don’t know what that is then stay in Hoboken and keep watching MMA.
Send references of other footwear you’ve broken in, if you mention a Ralph Lauren shoe of any kind, especially Polo Sport I’ll know you went to SUNY or CUNY and you won’t be considered.
My old ‘bows are pictured here, they need to look like this by Belmont. Payment negotiable, but you need to be able to accept a credit card cause I want Starwood points for my Amex. Out.
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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I have very little to add here. Bow’s are the balls. I don’t buy the bows because they’re harder to break in than a pair of Bauers. Furthermore, I believe in Craigslist as a means of finding hard up people to do weird shit for you for short money. And if that’s not enough, as far as I’m concerned, Old Crow Medicine Show is the ONLY version of Wagon Wheel. I’d rather take a shovel to the face than hang out with this bro, but I respect his game.

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What are Lowellians Selling on Craigslist Today? (A house-load of optimism.)

clKILLER

Craigslist-Boston

Have 4 bedroom house with Parkin in front all done up inside have studio in back brings in 600 a month towards morgtatge real close to downtown Lowell Lowell is the next Cambridge with umass being division one school an buying everything an building and Lowell General doing same it’s most def good investment!!!

Sorry Teddy Panos, but we’re “the next Cambridge”, it says so right here on Craigslist.

Wow, and they call Chicago “The Windy City.” We’ve got: “The Next Cambridge.” “Umass D-1 an Buying everything an building.” ”Lowell General doing the same.” all in one clean and concise paragraph. Move over Corey Belanger, there’s a new purveyor of wicked awesome in town and he’s over on Pleasant Street spitting rhymes in his $600 a month “studio” (Yes, I called to confirm…music “studio”(mew-zak)), spreading the good word like the Mill City’s most devout profit. You may want to hold off on scraping off those bike lanes and moving that high school until you see this add removed from Craigslist. You never know who be “walkin” through that door next.

PS.  Hey Dick Howe Jr?  You have any stats on 54 Pleasant Street?  Because I think we’re about to break a record.

Craigslist Missed Connections…St Paddy’s Day in Lowell

St Paddys

Craigslist

St. Patricks Day Girl – m4w – 25 (Lowell)

age : 25

We spoke briefly outside the smokehouse tavern. You told me that your uncle was Micky Ward and that I was “hott”. You said you were cold and wanted to warm up.

If this is you, respond and tell me what your name was so I know it’s you.

I really liked you!

Location: Lowell

do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

Does it get any more “Lowell” than beginning conversations with strangers by establishing your blood relations to Mickey Ward?  Not saying this undoubted prize wasn’t the niece of the legendary Irish Mick, I’m just saying this wasn’t the only claim to the Ward family tree that occurred on Monday night, especially at the Smokehouse.  It’s like a weird tribal tick that’s part of the mating process in Lowell.  Just saying “Micky Wahhhd” in a sentence gives off some weird pheromone that ultimately leads to four kids and a duplex on Chelmsford Street. A Lowell Fairytale(…I think that’s a Shane MacGowan B-side.)

What are Lowellians selling on Craigslist today?

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i have 3 precious moments picture frames barely used very much like new. i need them picked up asap they are sitting around here im not using them just dont want them anymore. email only if serious interest to pick up. pick up only and cash only please.
· Location: lowell, ma

· it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests.

Hey, can you blame this person? Imagine having to walk past this thing every day, being reminded that you’re STILL waiting for a precious moment that you can capture for eternity. That’s a heavy cross to bear. Forget about the fact that this thing is built for 3 precious moments. It’s hard enough to just experience one.

So you’ll need to ask yourself if this is the type of person’s door you want to knock on? Do you want to be the guy that shows up with a crisp $10 bill and “all the precious moments you can handle?” I don’t want to be that guy. “Need Gone” to me means, “I’m fixing to lock you in my basement.” The expert’s opinion on this one is to hang on to your ten dollars. You’ll never know what’s lurking a few clicks away on Craigslist…like

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What are Lowellians selling on Craigslist today?

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*** Is your Last Name SOUSA ??? Check this out!! *** – $50 (Lowell)
Framed name history with family crest!! Nice frame with brand new glass!!

Beautiful framed Family Name History. Theis tells the origin of the name with an awesome detailed history of the name SOUSA.

Also in the frame, is the beautiful SOUSA Family Crest.

Stamp of authenticity on the family certificate!!!

Perfect for an office or displaying in your house!

$50.00
· Location: Lowell
· it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Is my last name, Sousa? No. Do I want to buy this? Absolutely. Look, everyone in the business knows that the Sousa family crest is the most prolific pawn in the forgery game. Getting your hands on a real one is all but impossible. Hell, I’d pay the $50 just for the letter of authenticity, and to be honest, I feel like I was meant to find this today. I feel like higher powers wanted me to find this and return it to the Sousa’s…where it belongs. Perhaps it will forever curry favor with Sousa’s everywhere. At the very least, it should earn me an invite to the Labor Day ruckus at Holy Ghost Park, no?

What are Lowellians selling on craigslist today?

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Vaseline Mens fragrance free body and face lotion – $2 (Lowell)

New Vaseline
mens fragrance free body and face lotion
20.3 fl oz plus a bonus 10 fl oz attached in back

asking $2.00 exact cash please
as I do not have change
first to come with cash gets item
– Location: Lowell
– it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Are you a tea leaf reader? Do you even know what tea leaves are? Well, when I want to know how the economy is doing, I don’t need market data, unemployment rates, imports or exports. What I want to know is how much is a quality bottle of male moisturizer going for on Craigslist. The answer? $2.00 (USD I assume.). Imagine that. Such a lofty ransome and you’re not even getting a scent for your trouble. A mere two months ago it was Jurgens and Lubriderm City for practically free. And if all you had was a twenty…”no problem, bruh!” Now we’re looking at Vaseline’s JV team and a “no-change” Nazi. Somebody get Bernanke out of bed, it’s time to raise the rates.

What are Lowellians selling on Craigslist today?

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Breast pump – $25 (Lowell,Ma.)
Breast pump 2 years old excellent condition $25.00 serious inquires only thanks need gone ASAP moving soon..
· Location: Lowell,Ma.
· it’s NOT ok to contact this poster
with services or other commercial interests
Posting ID: 4060346415
Posted: 2013-09-11, 11:16AM EDT
email to a friend

As always with craigslist, you’ll need to wade carefully through those grays areas to really determine if you’re getting a good deal or not. In this case, the smoking gun here is the condition description as “Two Years-old.” Kelly Blue Book and Beckett Monthly tell us that 2011 Breast pumps in mint condition should sell for well north of $25 dollars. But, any chap who’s lived with a nursing mother can tell you that two years in the life of a breast pump is an eternity. This pump probably has more stories than a veteran that has spent a night in a Southeast Asian jungle. And we haven’t even tackled what kind of terrain we’re dealing with here. We all know that no two peaks are the same. Some are tall and smooth, while others are short and craggy. Breast pumps don’t get to choose their terrain.
Verdict: Unless this women is firm (pun intended) on her price, you may want to hold out for a pump with less mileage to hit the open market.