Back Off in #Haiku 12/15-20/2014


Backtalk: 12/15/2014

Student protesters.
Never learned time management.
Ripped off by Harvard.

Cemetery leaves.
Be nice if they picked those up.
Winter is coming.

Supporting torture.
Our enemies can be cruel.
Let your anger judge.

It isn’t torture.
They crashed planes into buildings.
All things justified..

Sound Off: 12/15/2014

Cheap gas stims spending?
Not when electric goes up.
And all other bills.

Methuen tax rate.
Annual increase again.
They love doing that.

Fishing industry.
Low-pay jobs with too high risks.
Boats facing sunset.

Lawrence City Council.
Talking about their dress code.
Ties fix broke windows.

Athletes suspended.
Players don’t respect their schools.
Prodigal returns.

Chamber of Commerce.
Cowards denying Christmas.
While it surrounds them.

Terrorists don’t reason.
We need to be just like them.
Reasoning is bad.

Sound Off: 12/17/2014

War is about pain.
We can’t afford to be nice.
No hugs for bombers.

Professors union.
College is just a business.
Students should do same.

Heroin problem.
Don’t let addicts run programs.
Just tell them to stop.

Not out to win hearts.
We’re trying to win a war.
Innocents will die.

Backtalk: 12/17/2014

All is beautiful.
Good job there ev’rybody.
Watch Megyn Kelly.

Chelmsford’s light display.
Nothing compared to neighbors.
Where do taxes go?

I just love torture.
Justified for thirteen years.
Pass me the lotion.

Industrial Ave.
New pavement starting to crack.
Check contract safeguards.

Don’t fix Ferguson.
Let the protesters rebuild.
Bed of cold ashes.

Backtalk: 12/18/2014

Sex change for inmate?
Not a medical problem.
Life’s not always nice.

Drug addicts begging.
Halfway up the Connector.
Manners would be nice.

Dracut hubcap thief.
Your needs are sadly present.
Prayers for your health.

Packages stolen.
FedEx leaves a trail of notes.
Small scavenger hunt.

Flint’s Corner traffic.
Improvements are beautiful.
Common sense prevails.

Sound Off: 12/18/2014

Power plants too close.
Don’t trust the politicians.
They’ve lied about worse.

Do unto others
Before they do it to you.
Cut their damn heads off.

Turn off your high beams.
Get glasses if you can’t see.
Magoo is texting.

Sure no laws were passed.
That don’t mean the Right is bad.
Not all laws are good.

Backtalk: 12/19/2014

Fire Frank Tiano.
Keep the pressure till he flees.
Remember to vote.

Zoning scared buyer.
Wrecking ball kills history.
Out of town and mind.

Love Luna Theatre.
We’ve needed it for decades.
Classic heartwarmers.

Media coverage.
All fights and nothing useful.
Seniors need raises.

Christmas lights are off.
Electric bills have doubled.
National Grinch sucks.

Sound Off Dec 19, 2014

Prison’s expensive.
Cheaper to get rapists fixed.
Street living takes balls.

Haverhill apartments.
Don’t need to build any more.
Schools are too crowded.

“Interview” cancelled.
I just want better movies.
Protest Grown Ups 3.

We don’t need more laws.
Blocking bad laws is crucial.
Nothing needs to change.

I want my free speech!
I’m saying “Merry Christmas!”

Schools don’t need unions.
Instructors receive tenure.
Unions guard the weak.

Backtalk: 12/20/2014

CHRISTmas greeting cards.
Easy to find if you look.
CVS has them.

Mark Wahlberg’s record.
He must think it’s Hollywood.
Real world don’t forgive.

Marathon bomber.
Demonstrators support him.
We have a jury.

Cuppples Square clean-up.
Store owners got together.
Bridge Street should do same.

Chelmsford fire station.
Old place all closed and boarded.
History condemned.

Cops need more training.
We can agree on that point.
But they’re still human.

MB employees.
They all got their bonuses.
I want something too.

Back Off in #Haiku. 11/1/14.



Kids struck by Bahou.
Clearly deserved to get hit.
Maybe now they’ll learn.

Drunk cops get away.
Why can’t we all just drive drunk?
Fairness is lacking.

Triple A votes ‘no.”
Want gas taxes to go up.
Road repairs are cheap.

Cop with D.U.I.
Gets to walk away freely.
Don’t give him a car.

Mayor Menino.
Loss felt well beyond Boston.
Beautiful person.

Mayor Menino.
Best guy Boston ever had.
Knew the neighborhoods.

Light up all the stacks.
Sure it’s tacky and wasteful.
But we’d be the first.

Chelmsford school issues.
Needless position funded.
By dropping two jobs.

SOFC Presents: Can I Be Frank?: Christmas Candor

Have some fun during the holidays. Haunt your friends and family with some hard core honesty (or some slight exaggerations of the truth. Whatevs)


Can I Be Frank?: Christmas Candor
Billionaire Boston Businessman Jack Welch made his career, and General Electric, a phenomenal success through the implementation of a few key principles. Not a man to mince words, Welch believed in honesty and, as he describes in his book Winning, “candor” in the workplace. In a very small nutshell, Welch preached that the ultimate way to drive a thriving, growing and successful enterprise is by creating an environment whereby candor was a part of everyday management. Essentially, employees from the CEO to the custodian, knew exactly where they stood in the company’s totem pole at all times. Those that excelled were rewarded. Those in the middle of the pack were offered guidance. Those at the bottom were, well, chopped. Forever controversial in his credo, Welch built an incredible empire and his success at GE cannot be denied.

OK, enough business BS, not what I am pondering.  I am bringing up the topic of candor.

Candor, by definition, is the quality of being open and honest in expression; frankness (I certainly like that last word in the definition).  What I am driving at is there is simply not enough candor in the world – not only just at the workplace.  With the holiday season upon us, there is no better time to start implementing effective and ‘to-the-point’ practices of being candid with the people we run in to each and every day.  Perhaps more than any other time of the year, we are forced to exchange pleasantries with folks all day long.  Unlike other hum-drum dates on the calendar December was created for smiles and cheer; be it real or fake.  I say, what a perfect time to start expressing what you really mean or at least make it entertaining.  Start saying what you really feel.  Start being honest.  Start being candid.

Enough of the incessant “Hi, how are yous?”, “How are things?”, “What’s new?”  “What are your plans for the holidays?”  Enough.  Let’s let everyone know how we feel at that moment in time.  Why not?  What’s the harm?  Society would certainly become more interesting if we all embraced this practice.

But, tis the season of giving so allow me to give you some straight-talk samples so you can learn to truthfully answer all the questions that are hurled in your face; especially during this Holy and blessed time of year.  OK, not truthfully… but have some fun for crying out loud…it’s the holidays!

QUESTION:   Hey, How are you?  Happy Holidays!

ANSWER: I’m OK.  Looks like my restraining order is going to finally be lifted from my ex…so that’s a good thing.  How are the kids?

A creepy look and a quick walkaway are guaranteed.

QUESTION:  What are your plans for Christmas?

ANSWER: Christmas?  Well, I have been a practicing Jew for the last 10 years but thanks for noticing.  (awkward pause) Ha,ha,…I am SO kidding….I’m not Jewish.  I’m Chinese.

Should raise an eyebrow or 3…unless you actually are Chinese.  Doesn’t work if you are.

QUESTION: So, what are you getting Jim/Judy for Christmas?

ANSWER: Vasectomy/Hysterectomy

How you like them apples?

QUESTION: I am sure hoping for a white Christmas, how bout you?

ANSWER: If by “White” you mean I get “a ton of cocaine”…then yes….me too.

Suspected drug use is always a holiday classic.

QUESTION: Have you gotten your tree yet?

ANSWER: We did! We got a Bonsai.  So excited.  Decorating it tomorrow night with Mr Miagi.

Karate Kid jokes never, ever fail.

QUESTION: Hope you are on Santa’s NICE list?

ANSWER: Except for that alleged abduction, I can’t imagine why I wouldn’t be.  Chilly out, huh?

Again, keep the asker on their toes.

QUESTION: Any mistletoe hanging in your house?

ANSWER: We’re not big mistletoe believers in our house but there is a tradition of the ‘Ether Bunny’ we celebrate year round.

Intentionally drugging of a loved one is like Christmas morning any day of year.

QUESTION: How you doing with your holiday shopping?

ANSWER: Not bad.  You wouldn’t believe how easy it is to sneak crap out of the Dollar Store.

The trick to this one is double check your pockets/purse as you respond.

QUESTION: What are your New Year’s resolutions?

ANSWER: Kept it simple this year.  Staying off the meth while driving the kids around.  You can never be too safe, right?  Oh, and I am definitely joining a gym.

I am not sure this is candor or just cruel and sarcastic answers to commonly asked questions during the holidays.  Take it or leave it.

As Cousin Eddie so eloquently stated in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation….

’Merry Christmas, S#!++er is FULL!”

And to all a good night…..
Guest Blogger Frank McCabe can be heard every Friday on 980 WCAP AM Radio. For anyone under the age of 70, run to your nearest Iphone and download TuneIn Radio.