Lowell Police take to Youtube to show the world that Centralville truly is the gateway to hell. (Updated)

(Update: Not that it should need to be clarified, but this blog is not affiliated with the Lowell Police Department.  This is a video taken from Youtube.  It is not the Lowell Police Department that are making fun of Bridge Street or Centraville for that matter….just everybody else.)

This video tells it like it is. The mouth of Bridge Street is circles 4 through 7 of hell. Even a video of cops with funny Mayor Quimby accents can’t help the cause. You’ve got it all:

Shitbums crossing “the most dangerous intersection evah” void of any sense of urgency.  Where is he going? To work no doubt.

twominutes to cross

Pontiac Aztecs making their own lanes. (As far as I know, the only other documented driver of Pontiac Aztec cooked meth in New Mexico.  Smaht profiling by the LPD.)

aztec

People in motorized chairs breaking the sound barrier in crosswalks.

scooter

More high performance vehicles than all of Dubai.

Bridge Street Porshcehigh performance

Is that Gary Fischer himself?  That’s a lot of suspension.  How pumped was this guy when he realized they weren’t checking warrants today?

Mountain Bike

And last but not least…the fashion.  Its like the Champs Elysees….if it had a bout of food poisoning.

brooklyn

Should Christian Hill ever lose power?

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Lowell Sun

LOWELL — About 3,100 households across Christian Hill and Centralville are without power after power went out for unknown reason on Monday morning.

The outage happened at about 7:45 a.m. Monday. National Grid does not know what caused the outage and its crew is cruising through the neighborhoods to pinpoint the cause, according to National Grid spokesman David Graves. The affected area runs along VFW Highway near Bridge Street on the northern side of the Merrimack River.

Its no secret that I’m not a “for all of Lowell” type of guy. I’m a Belvideresman. I’d vote for succession if given the opportunity. But occasionally I gaze across that river and reflect admirably on our friends up there on the hill. I mean, these are people who willingly share their outdoor space with particles of our fecal matter. The least we can do is ensure that they never have to sit in darkness. They’re nestled next to the second best source of methane in the city. Let’s fire up that eternal flame and get the lights back on.