Back Off in #Haiku. 11/15/14.



School Department’s bills.
Have to be paid the right way.
Late fees on sick days.

Vet’s Day ev’ry day.
No freedom without heroes.
Still go to work though.

Welcome back Backtalk.
You’re always what I read first.
That and the obits.

Dracut water smells.
Like chlorine flavored chlorine.
Cleaning is needed.

Sound Off

Stop preparing kids.
It scares the hell out of them.
This isn’t Newtown.

High school shooting drills.
Make Methuen look real bad.
What will Lawrence think?

Ev’ry body pays.
“Only half pay income tax”?
There’s other taxes.

No more baseball news.
The season ended last month.
So sick of that shit.

Dems ignore the truth.
Their bums caused all problems.
Admit it for once.

Rubberstamp school.
Hiring public image firm.
They’ll earn that money.

Pittsburgh Pirates fans being dummies

If you listen to weei the old bit was that if the Red Sox lost in the playoffs fans would line up on the Tobin bridge to jump off out of depression that the Sox blew it.  Again.  Not in Pittsburgh though.  These momos are so fired up about winning a play in-game that they’re ACTUALLY jumping off bridges.  Seriously.  I know the last time the Pirates were in the playoffs was the tail end of Bush 41’s administration but seriously guys act like you’ve been there before.  Your team made the playoffs.  Big deal.  But then again being classless comes natural for the mouth breathers from the ‘burgh.  They even took some swings on Mat Latos’ wife at the game last night.  Klassy.   I mean it WAS an away game right?  What did she expect?  To be treated with a modicum of respect?  In Pittsburgh?  I know asking an awful lot.

That little gem is being worn to Steelers home games like you read about.  Who could have predicted Aaron Hernandez was a criminal mastermind wannabe thug?  At least the Pats cut him before he even hit his holding cell.  Oh and didn’t your current QB rape a chick in a bathroom stall?  Go Cardinals.

What’s in Oakland’s secret sauce?

OAKLAND, CA—Claiming to be very eager to learn anything about the team’s successful yet mysterious tactics, Americans across the nation reportedly expressed their keen interest Friday in the Oakland A’s winning formula for remaining consistently competitive over the past decade. “Year after year, the A’s win an above-average number of games even though they’re on a far smaller budget than most teams—how do they keep doing that?” said Lowell, MA resident Jake Hughes, 28, adding that someone should at least interview GM Billy Beane and, if possible, get an inside look at the way Oakland’s front office operates. “I suppose it could be pure luck, but something tells me there’s more to the story than that. I wonder—and this is all purely conjecture, of course—if they have some sort of unique system in place to get the optimal value for their payroll: a ‘fiscal ballgame,’ if you will.”

Full article from the Onion here.  So if a fictitious Lowellian makes a fake news site is it news?  That was the question posed by one of our readers Greg.  Good lookin’ out Greg.  Nice catch.  It don’t think it matters what’s in the secret sauce though, the Sox are stacked four deep in the rotation with a 2004 idiots mentality and Jonny Gomes and his tank helmet.  Smell ya later A’s. 

Jonny Gomes


They need new Jonny is my homeboy shirts for 2013.

Anna Benson goes off the deep end aka Drugs are bad M’Kay?


Wow.  Has anything or anyone else fallen so far so fast?  Six years ago Anna Benson was the toast of Howard Stern bragging that if Kris Benson ever cheated on her that she’d “sleep with every member of the Mets organization to get back at him.” Epic.  Then she had a short lived TV show focusing on her “talents” as a Texas Hold ’em player during the craze of Texas Hold ’em in America.  You couldn’t flip through the channels for about a year without running into Phil Ivey or Vince Van Patten on no less then 16 channels.  then last year the Missus reminded me that a very BLOATED Anna still existed by watching VH1’s now cancelled Baseball Wives (Should be called ex wives, skanks, and former mistresses.) 

Fast forward to yesterday “According to law enforcement, Kris — who filed for divorce last year — reported that Anna showed up in a rage last night after being forced by the court to vacate their marital home. Kris says Anna arrived and immediately whipped out an “expandable metal baton,” threatening to hit him.

But it didn’t stop there … Kris told police Anna then pulled out a handgun and demanded money. She must have been expecting Kris to pull a gun on her too … because she was allegedly wearing a bulletproof vest at the time of the alleged assault.”


Wow.  Faces of Meth anyone?

Full details below.

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