[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also I’ll be cutting back on the number of poems appearing here but there will be plenty in the books: http://www.amazon.com/Steve-Rat-Albert/e/B01AC1W0UY ]

Bernie on gun laws.
Voted the way Vermont likes.
Job done properly.

Clearly homicide.
I could have told you all that.
Who needs evidence?

Better than Donny.
That’s all Clinton has to be.
Not a real challenge.

Enough with ISIS.
They’re just a talking point now.
Move on to issues.

Commie or felon.
Or vote for Republicans.
Plenty to pick from.

Offensive cartoon.
Families don’t watch that guy.
Put it on later.

It’s not racism.
At least not in all cases.
Folks have other flaws.

Drop some candidates.
Rubio and Cruz to start with.
Let’s narrow things down.

Is there still a draft?
Your poll question says there is.
Pretty sure it’s gone.

I like Valentine’s.
Cheapskates might whine about it.
Lonely folks can rot.

I enjoy romance.
Some say that makes me sexist.
Chivalry should live.

Marco Rubio.
Attack ads against third place?
Trump and Cruz suck too.

True conservatives.
It’s possible for one to win.
Ignore the mainstream.

Hillary’s email.
Bad guys might want to see it.
Should protect it more.

Small group runs this town.
They ignore what voters want.
Unite the county.

Hillary critics.
Witch hunters are on the Right.
Berners to the Left.

Nun fled scene of crash.
Why’s this story newsworthy?
Leave God’s girl alone.

Tuesday Feb 9

Days without power.
Then the telephone went dead.
Zombies coming soon.

Zombies on their way.
Phone company doesn’t care.
Need better service.

Not the worse problem.
Plenty of houses look bad.
Way worse than trailers.

Cops seem entitled.
I know I’m new to these parts.
That’s just how it feels.

Voting for gender?
Race didn’t work out too well.
Try the Jewish guy.

She’s a survivor.
All the “scandals” and attacks.
Give her that at least.

Teddy said something.
Luckily he mentioned Trump.
That’s why I heard him.

No pay for snow days.
Labor Ready won’t do it.
Nor should the high school.

Do the job you have.
Folks campaign and ignore work.
Shouldn’t be that way.

Chris Christie forgot.
Fat guys don’t do marathons.
Understandable.

Carly got shut down.
Stood a good chance for a sec.
Then money came in.

Hillary has balls.
Running with all her baggage.
Accomplished nothing.

Obama Part 2.
What Hillary claims she’ll be.
How’s that a good thing?

Assisted living.
They charge a thousand a week.
Double what I made.

Let’s stop heroin.
Border Patrol can’t do it.
Bring in the big guns.

Wednesday Feb 10

No good candidates.
They’re all crazy or evil.
Democrats will win.

Kasich ain’t that bad.
But no chance of him winning.
Vote the socialist.

Small town newsletter.
Selectman takes all credit.
Sun rose anyway.

Never fed horses.
Might not have been abusive.
But won’t win my vote.

Torture terrorists.
Keep them alive to do so.
Good use of money.

Snow thrown into street.
Makes for a big slushy mess.
Oughta be a law.

Monday

Great Wall of Chelmsford.
Needed to keep out the thieves.
Value the missing.

Yelling ‘Benghazi.’
Something something Clinton bitch.
Please listen to me.

My mornings start late.
All of these trucks confuse me.
Are they there all night?

More driving problems.
Calling Backtalk at red lights.
This is important.

Clichés can be fun.
Pigs will never really fly.
Peace is for losers.

I heart sarcasm.
But does it come across here?
Your baby is cute.

Police on cellphones.
While driving quickly down roads.
Rules aren’t for the blue.

Electric went up.
After I got a panel.
Shit just don’t make sense.

High bills hurt poor folks.
Just pointing it out for you.
Can we work on that?

We need more options.
Cable is my only life.
I can’t just unplug.

Tuesday

Lower speed limit.
Energy will be preserved.
Less death is good too.

Drivers are crazy.
Big Dig tunnel falls apart.
Too many loose screws.

Don’t overlook faults.
Boobs alone won’t get my vote.
Trump is qualified.

New safety feature:
Cellphones shut off when moving.
Carnage needs to go.

Wednesday

ACLU fights.
But not for gun fanatics.
We need an org too.

Kids knocking on doors.
Begging for field trip money.
Panhandlers are bred.

Death with dignity.
Here’s my dignified response:
Losers need to stop.

He’ll kill your grandma.
And tell you she wanted it.
Obama’s evil.

Hate socialism?
Don’t collect “your” Medicare.
Practice what you preach.

Thursday

Meat causes cancer.
I still want my nice and rare.
Veggies are a hoax.

Walgreens bought Rite Aid.
Drugstore monopoly soon.
Government has failed.

Dress up as a Dem.
Take candy to give away.
Make same joke next year.

Gronk should cut that out.
Kids in China don’t have footballs.
A terrible waste.

Friday

Obama was worse.
No matter what Sanders might do.
They’re both socialists.

Classroom cop was right.
Kids should always do as told.
Put your phones away.

High school athletics.
Some of these kids are losers.
Don’t deserve to play.

Witch hunt wasn’t waste.
Healthcare is a massive scam.
Complicated math.

Not socialism.
If it helps me out it’s good.
Socialism bad.

Saturday

Views on kids’ costumes?
That’s a question for debates?
No shits are given.

Five million dollars.
Spent on a senseless witch hunt.
By those who fly brooms.

Synchronized lighting.
We could use that on Bridge Street.
I’ll get home some day.

Fantasy football.
As much gambling as horses.
Just study the odds.

Moderators ask.
That’s what they are paid to do.
Answer carefully.