Back Off in #Haiku. March 3rd & 4th 2016.

image

[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

For more haiku please buy the ebooks at www.Ratbas.com . These now come out monthly for $2.99. The February book should be ready by Tuesday.]

20,000 fools.
Massholes who jumped left to right.
Voting for a joke.

Not a big Trump fan.
Just can’t deal with Hillary.
I think she’s Muslim.

Schools spend on execs.
Money needs to help the kids.
Corruption rampant.

Collect those taxes.
Deadbeat home owners all hoard.
Bleed ev’ry last rock.

Hillary’s email.
FBI should ignore it.
Pardon guaranteed.

Primaries went well.
Great signage all around schools.
Planning saved hassles.

Results proved me wrong.
Trump beat out Carson and Cruz.
My faith is restored.

Unemployment down.
I don’t really like the Dems.
But that’s a good stat.

Back Off in #Haiku. Feb 8-11th, 2016.

image

[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also I’ll be cutting back on the number of poems appearing here but there will be plenty in the books: http://www.amazon.com/Steve-Rat-Albert/e/B01AC1W0UY ]

Bernie on gun laws.
Voted the way Vermont likes.
Job done properly.

Clearly homicide.
I could have told you all that.
Who needs evidence?

Better than Donny.
That’s all Clinton has to be.
Not a real challenge.

Enough with ISIS.
They’re just a talking point now.
Move on to issues.

Commie or felon.
Or vote for Republicans.
Plenty to pick from.

Offensive cartoon.
Families don’t watch that guy.
Put it on later.

It’s not racism.
At least not in all cases.
Folks have other flaws.

Drop some candidates.
Rubio and Cruz to start with.
Let’s narrow things down.

Is there still a draft?
Your poll question says there is.
Pretty sure it’s gone.

I like Valentine’s.
Cheapskates might whine about it.
Lonely folks can rot.

I enjoy romance.
Some say that makes me sexist.
Chivalry should live.

Marco Rubio.
Attack ads against third place?
Trump and Cruz suck too.

True conservatives.
It’s possible for one to win.
Ignore the mainstream.

Hillary’s email.
Bad guys might want to see it.
Should protect it more.

Small group runs this town.
They ignore what voters want.
Unite the county.

Hillary critics.
Witch hunters are on the Right.
Berners to the Left.

Nun fled scene of crash.
Why’s this story newsworthy?
Leave God’s girl alone.

Tuesday Feb 9

Days without power.
Then the telephone went dead.
Zombies coming soon.

Zombies on their way.
Phone company doesn’t care.
Need better service.

Not the worse problem.
Plenty of houses look bad.
Way worse than trailers.

Cops seem entitled.
I know I’m new to these parts.
That’s just how it feels.

Voting for gender?
Race didn’t work out too well.
Try the Jewish guy.

She’s a survivor.
All the “scandals” and attacks.
Give her that at least.

Teddy said something.
Luckily he mentioned Trump.
That’s why I heard him.

No pay for snow days.
Labor Ready won’t do it.
Nor should the high school.

Do the job you have.
Folks campaign and ignore work.
Shouldn’t be that way.

Chris Christie forgot.
Fat guys don’t do marathons.
Understandable.

Carly got shut down.
Stood a good chance for a sec.
Then money came in.

Hillary has balls.
Running with all her baggage.
Accomplished nothing.

Obama Part 2.
What Hillary claims she’ll be.
How’s that a good thing?

Assisted living.
They charge a thousand a week.
Double what I made.

Let’s stop heroin.
Border Patrol can’t do it.
Bring in the big guns.

Wednesday Feb 10

No good candidates.
They’re all crazy or evil.
Democrats will win.

Kasich ain’t that bad.
But no chance of him winning.
Vote the socialist.

Small town newsletter.
Selectman takes all credit.
Sun rose anyway.

Never fed horses.
Might not have been abusive.
But won’t win my vote.

Torture terrorists.
Keep them alive to do so.
Good use of money.

Snow thrown into street.
Makes for a big slushy mess.
Oughta be a law.

Back Off in #Haiku. 1/11-16/2016.

image

[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also I’ll be cutting out a lot of the older blogs, but you can find them on Amazon in the books.]

Monday, Jan. 11, 2016

Make toy guns less real?
Anybody can fake that.
Criminals can paint.

Admins don’t work much.
Teachers spend time with students.
Raises seem misplaced.

So many choices.
Not sure who the right one is.
Trump will doom us all.

Low pay means low skill.
Good janitors are worth more.
Only snobs don’t see.

Public pajamas.
Women shouldn’t dress that way.
Dress before leaving.

Train lines were there first.
Houses built to be near them.
Ironic complaints.

Tuesday, Jan. 12, 2016

You heartless bastard.
Six-year-olds are getting shot.
Crying was sincere.

Train all citizens.
Learn to defend our country.
Muslims are coming.

I’m not from that town.
Can’t really say much if it.
Prob’ly a nice place.

Vandals just can’t spell.
Only one ‘i’ in the word ‘pig.’
Bet they spelled ‘Trump’ right.

Not enough justice.
Sex offenders being helped.
Victims go hungry.

Wednesday, Jan. 13, 2016

Boxer without shorts.
Gentleman’s name is Neil King.
He laughs about it.

Major discipline.
Kids down south charged as adults.
Up here slapped on wrist.

Board missed an error.
Citizen picked up on it.
She should take over.

Lottery scandal.
Should be a lot more winners.
A scam attracts fools.

Best town manager.
Selectmen bash him always.
Not quiet for votes.

Planned Parenthood’s vote.
Killers support Hillary.
Surprises lacking.

Thursday 1/14/16

Granny shot mugger.
Anti-gunners don’t like it.
They want Granny dead.

Hecklers should have rights.
Even if Republican.
All things partisan.

Plates from New Hampshire.
On cars in my condo lot.
Please look into that.

Prez left banks alone.
Dislike Wall Street all you want.
Your hero stood by.

Children watch drug ads.
Philosophy is the same.
“Drugs are your hope.”

“Gun control” label.
Softened now to “gun safety.”
Only adds to sales.

Friday, Jan. 15, 2016

Beggars should move on.
Enough health to stand in cold.
Force them to take jobs.

Sanders and Warren.
She can only bring him down.
Though she’d beat Clinton.

The Prez never cries.
Just learned how to recently.
Cares not for children.

Let’s help our own first.
Why focus on refugees?
Veterans need help.

Hire the disabled.
Most grateful workers out there.
Proud to earn a check.

Prez remains quiet.
Won’t talk about each shooting.
Thousands of speeches.

Saturday, Jan. 16, 2016

Trump’s like Don Rickles.
Funny guy and good speaker.
But still an asshole.

Trump’s experience.
Knows nothing of politics.
Just like Obama.

Good Samaritan.
Helped despite her own issues.
People can be nice.

Small town arrests folks.
City should try doing same.
We have more dealers.

President Carter.
His speeches gave me nightmares.
Reagan tucked me in.

Trump is like Reagan.
Tells me what I want to hear.
Daddy says I’m great.

Back Off in Haiku. 1/4-9/16

image

[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also if you’ve ever wanted me to cut out the middleman on the Trump poems consider it done. Trump Tweets in Haiku is now available for Kindle. For $3 you get over one hundred haiku based mainly on his December poll results. Thank-you.]

1/4/2016

Meehan in the murk.
Right up there with old gangsters.
Big stories come soon.

Hats made in China.
Supporters left out in cold.
Trump rally not great.

Trump’s undercover.
Unelectable fav’rite.
Working for Clinton

Whiners stop progress.
“Redmen” honored Wamesit.
A statue stands tall.

Fed workers get more.
Seniors getting deeper cuts.
President cares not.

Robots predict games.
BB8 is Belichick.
8 Super Bowl wins.

Sinister dark plans.
Evil Prez will destroy us.
Leads terrorists.

Elections over.
Your concerns are meaningless.
Empty smiles vanish.

“Liar of the Year.”
Politifact named The Prez.
They’re still called leftist.

Bad drugs imported.
Just like all the dealers are.
The Left kills your kids.

Border guards corrupt.
Illegal drugs will not stop.
Use special forces.

1/5/16

Meehan makes too much.
Why tuition rates are high.
Worse than government.

Not really from here.
Moved to rich ‘hood at age two.
Made electable.

Why not let Trump speak?
America is pro-freedom.
Like Trump always says.

Liars surround us.
Nobody else to vote for.
Swallow your oatmeal.

Donated money.
Hope it went to someone nice.
Pretty sure it did.

Ransom sounds too high.
No way we paid five billion.
You’re fuggin’ crazy.

 

1/6/15

Sidewalks near the school.
Not cleared after a small storm.
A slippery slope.

I’d vote for Sandi.
I think she has to run though.
That’d be the first thing.

Programs now funded.
Billionaires still doing fine.
Obama did fine.

Natalie Cole’s voice.
Beautiful and will be missed.
Unforgettable.

Trump has health issues.
Specifically mental.
So does his fan base.

Air-filled Nutcracker.
Stolen from yard on New Year’s.
Return it you drunk.

Trump could be Hitler.
Wants to target immigrants.
Face of fear itself.

 

1/7/2016

I don’t have a gun.
But might need to kill a man.
I’d like to use his.

The Prez is Hitler.
If Hitler sold used Chryslers.
A heil of a deal.

Should protest Meehan.
Trump didn’t raise tuition.
Priorities count.

Flat wrapping paper.
Much cheaper after Christmas.
Paper Store has some.

Grew up with the guy?
You don’t sound grown up to me.
I doubt your wisdom.

1/8/2016

Three years probation.
Prob’ly got to keep money.
Justice is broken.

Officers busy.
Work ethic respectable.
Don’t ignore value.

Reagan’s market crash.
Resulted from trickle-down.
Days best left behind.

Bill Clinton’s hobbies.
Long gone from Oval Office.
Days best left behind.

 

1/9/2016

Live within budget.
You’re town leaders for Christ’s sake.
Start acting like it.

Unqualified fraud.
Crying his crocodile tears.
His cries disgust me.

Student protesters.
Embarrassment to our town.
Trump should be revered.

Beautiful lighting.
Town Common brought to splendor.
Company did well.

I still live in town.
You criticize from afar.
Grown-ups face their foes.

Snow on school busses.
Flies off onto my windshield.
Should have been removed.

Boxer in his jock.
Forgot to put his shorts on.
Smoke-filled memories.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/26-31/15

image

Monday

Great Wall of Chelmsford.
Needed to keep out the thieves.
Value the missing.

Yelling ‘Benghazi.’
Something something Clinton bitch.
Please listen to me.

My mornings start late.
All of these trucks confuse me.
Are they there all night?

More driving problems.
Calling Backtalk at red lights.
This is important.

Clichés can be fun.
Pigs will never really fly.
Peace is for losers.

I heart sarcasm.
But does it come across here?
Your baby is cute.

Police on cellphones.
While driving quickly down roads.
Rules aren’t for the blue.

Electric went up.
After I got a panel.
Shit just don’t make sense.

High bills hurt poor folks.
Just pointing it out for you.
Can we work on that?

We need more options.
Cable is my only life.
I can’t just unplug.

Tuesday

Lower speed limit.
Energy will be preserved.
Less death is good too.

Drivers are crazy.
Big Dig tunnel falls apart.
Too many loose screws.

Don’t overlook faults.
Boobs alone won’t get my vote.
Trump is qualified.

New safety feature:
Cellphones shut off when moving.
Carnage needs to go.

Wednesday

ACLU fights.
But not for gun fanatics.
We need an org too.

Kids knocking on doors.
Begging for field trip money.
Panhandlers are bred.

Death with dignity.
Here’s my dignified response:
Losers need to stop.

He’ll kill your grandma.
And tell you she wanted it.
Obama’s evil.

Hate socialism?
Don’t collect “your” Medicare.
Practice what you preach.

Thursday

Meat causes cancer.
I still want my nice and rare.
Veggies are a hoax.

Walgreens bought Rite Aid.
Drugstore monopoly soon.
Government has failed.

Dress up as a Dem.
Take candy to give away.
Make same joke next year.

Gronk should cut that out.
Kids in China don’t have footballs.
A terrible waste.

Friday

Obama was worse.
No matter what Sanders might do.
They’re both socialists.

Classroom cop was right.
Kids should always do as told.
Put your phones away.

High school athletics.
Some of these kids are losers.
Don’t deserve to play.

Witch hunt wasn’t waste.
Healthcare is a massive scam.
Complicated math.

Not socialism.
If it helps me out it’s good.
Socialism bad.

Saturday

Views on kids’ costumes?
That’s a question for debates?
No shits are given.

Five million dollars.
Spent on a senseless witch hunt.
By those who fly brooms.

Synchronized lighting.
We could use that on Bridge Street.
I’ll get home some day.

Fantasy football.
As much gambling as horses.
Just study the odds.

Moderators ask.
That’s what they are paid to do.
Answer carefully.

Back Off in #Haiku. August 23-29th, 2015

image

Backtalk

Monday

DCF knows best.
That’s why you don’t have your kids.
You’re not an expert.
 
Stop breaking the laws.
There is no special treatment.
Unless you’re wealthy.

More bike lanes coming.
In a place with lots of bikes.
We don’t need that shit.

The Sun won’t print this.
I double dog dare them to:
Trump is a racist.

Islands owned by state.
City can’t mow them at all.
Leave them out of it.

Selfish suicides.
Live for the guilt and pressure.
Or they’ll all hate you.

Tuesday

Sleazy casinos.
Nothing but ugly headaches.
Rejection was wise.

Lovely article.
Talking about antique ceilings.
Give tour guide credit.

Teach your kids cursive.
Or they can’t sign a mortgage.
Not that they’ll want to.

Selectmen did fine.
Stood up for the taxpayers.
That’s all we wanted.

Two-way street system.
Time has proven its success.
Major improvement.

Wednesday

Don’t like how they play?.
Tell kids they stink eye-to-eye.
Don’t be a pussy.
 
French train being watched.
Three countries and no action.
Did they change channels?

Lottery winnings.
Guaranteed with a town job.
All you do is quit.

Corrupt school system.
Abilities don’t matter.
Just connections count.

License suspensions.
People ignore and still drive.
Take their cars away.

Friday

DPW.
Driver threw trash out window.
He must love this town.
 
Hope Hillary wins.
It’d be fun to scare the right.
They’re too paranoid.

Biden and Warren.
Considering entering.
Improves Trump’s chances.

Voting for Donald.
He’s not a politician.
Even though he’s running.

Polish cemetery.
Lawn is looking fantastic.
Much appreciated.

New Wamesit lanes.
I’d like to see some duckpins.
It just needs duckpins.

We need more bowling.
Glad the lanes are being built.
The signs look awesome.

DCF knows best.
That’s why you don’t have your kids.
You’re not an expert.

Farmer’s almanac.
Predicting massive snow storms.
That sonovabitch.

Obama got in.
He’s less qualified than Trump.
Trump calls folks stupid.

Trees are all missing.
From Belvidere to Acre.
Plantings should happen.

Stop sign proved useful.
People actually stop now.
That might save a life.

Doggy ambulance.
Westford Emergency helped.
Call them up next time.