Back Off in #Haiku. 12/28/15-1/2/16

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also, if you want to buy my books on Kindle that’d be cool.http://www.amazon.com/dp/B019GLL1S8/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_awdo_9BYDwb1Q0YMTF]

Monday, 12/28/15

Boxer should retire.
All those fights have done their harm.
Pastures are calling.

Fiorina stays.
She can beat anybody.
Except maybe Trump.

Donut shop tax break..
Like they’ll bring in some tourists.
Our town is struggling.

Insane light display.
Bigger than Disney Parades.
Pride of cul de sac.

Trump and Obama.
More in common than you think.
They’re both dictators.

Apple Computers.
Just a Chinese company.
Not like Nokia.

Trump is all they’ve got?
Fifteen people were on stage.
Evolution failed.

Moved to New Hampshire.
To avoid wage increases.
Polartec fleeced us.

Officer on phone.
Wonder who he’s talking to.
Wish I had that job.

Fight the drug dealers.
Cut heroin at the source.
Narcan’s behind this.

Clinton will close schools.
That ain’t a President’s job.
Border patrol is.

Sentences cancelled
Undoing work of police.
Obama loves drugs.

Roads must be repaired.
Taxes pay for things like that.
How government works.

Tuesday 12/29/15

Beautiful picture.
Best front page you could have run.
Meaning of Christmas.

You nailed the cover.
Wonderful picture of Christ.
No pun intended.

“Night Before Christmas.”
Front page poem was much needed.
Tradition should grow.

Merry Christmas all.
I say this to ev’ryone.
The rabbis love it.

Anti-Christians suck.
We’re surrounded by many.
They hate our good vibes.

Give me for Christmas
The head of Roger Goodell.
Kids need role models.

Night before Christmas
All barbershops were shut down.
Town run by grinches.

Prostitution sting.
Put a damper on Christmas.
Needed to be done.

Congress is sneaky.
Lobbyists now non-profits.
You watched a ball drop.

Beggars increase trash.
Councilor got it cleaned up.
Mayor did nothing.

Mayor proud of work.
But it was a half-assed job.
Parking but no stores.

Wednesday 12/30/15

Like did not Star Wars.
Too commercialized it was.
Tix costly they are.

Democrat debates.
Clinton doesn’t want viewers.
She chooses time slots.

“Black Lives Matter” sign.
I believe all lives matter.
Even the priv’leged.

Global warming’s nice.
Saves me money on heating.
That seems ironic.

Hustle and bustle.
Ain’t got that out in these parts.
We’re one town over.

Silent but deadly.
Gas leaks all over the town.
This government blows.

Beggars should clean up.
Doesn’t seem like much to ask.
It’s their goddamn mess.

Thursday 12/31/15

Trump’s a douche nozzle.
But he has a right to speak.
He can be peaceful.

Protesters are mean.
If you don’t like Trump stay home.
Trump’s open-minded.

Free speech is for Trump.
Protesters don’t have any.
Next they’ll deport him.

Kid speeds down Main Street.
Cop sees and does not chase him.
Laws are meaningless.

New Hampshire blames us.
Says we’re the reason for drugs.
We don’t have those crops.

Gas under two bucks.
People pay thirty cents more.
They should shop around.

It isn’t hate speech.
They’re just prone to hurting folks.
Religion does that.

Friday 1/1/16

Kids should learn the law.
Amendments apply to Trump.
Let the poor man speak.

Our rights are infringed.
We have a right to be scum.
Slave owners said so.

Tsongas Arena.
Named for a quality man.
Unlike Trump Plaza.

Repairs came out nice.
Looks incredibly nicer.
Father Nick gets thanks.

Beggars ev’rywhere.
It’s like an epidemic.
And they’re all loaded.

Saturday 1/2/16

Tribe members all gone.
Sport logos all we have left.
That’s our heritage.

Poor job snow clearing.
Preschoolers could do better.
There goes the budget.

Plow the width of street.
Things too narrow as it is.
Mice can do better.

Two thousand sixteen.
Hope this year goes much better.
Last year can bite me.

Mice and preschoolers.
Do they make shovels that small?
More storms are coming.

Back Off in #Haiku. 12/7-13/2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Monday

He’s just out of touch.
Climate change doesn’t kill folks.
Guys with guns do.

Fear is a good thing.
We need to spread more of it.
Better than Muslims.

Lines on roads fading.
Outlasted by need for them.
Make them immortal.

We call it “Chistmas.”
Kids don’t know who it’s named for.
Put that in your ads.

Police on Segways.
Riding up and down sidewalks.
Won’t let me do that.

Wednesday

Don’t be negative.
Call with something nice to say.
For two lousy weeks.

Don’t want the pipeline?
Stop consuming what’s there now.
Try going without.

Historic value.
Houses should be protected.
We don’t need parking.

Christian terrorists?
Christians don’t kill for Jesus.
I know my Koran.

Fix global warming?
A fake issue for fake Prez.
Go back to Disney.

Interview Tsongas.
Ask her about Obama.
Ask “Why does he suck?”

Thursday

Exonerated?
They just kept it all private.
Guy is still corrupt.

We need more pipelines.
Because more makes it cheaper.
Just like with donuts.

Climate change is real.
The weather is one way to tell.
Glad to see meetings.

Privilege needs to go.
Too many people abuse it.
Stop assault rifles.

Prez and FBI.
Disagreements have arisen.
Trust the FBI.

Friday

I’m saying “Christmas.”
Don’t let money ruin it.
The Right ain’t like that.

New Fire Department.
Put it on some old backroad.
Shouldn’t be central.

Property taxes.
Increasing for two straight years.
Bring back the last guy.

Too big to be broke.
Must be all the freeloaders.
High school will bring more.

We’re all embarrassed.
This lady needs to just leave.
Stop voting for her.

Voted based on his race.
And elected a racist.
You’re all so stupid.

We’re simply concerned.
That doesn’t make us racist.
Makes us hypocrites.

Pizza shop closed down.
Next to store selling same style.
Can’t imagine why.

Impeach Obama.
I want that done yesterday.
I’m very angry.

Saturday

Upstream river town.
Used to look much prettier.
Now looks like Jersey.

Page layout was nice.
That’s the kind of thing I want.
Comf’table reading.

Billerica High School.
Marched in Disney World Parade.
Congratulations.

Blaming Obama.
Can’t even label things right.
Time for him to go.

Country divided.
Can’t agree on anything.
Let’s order pizza.

Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 16-21, 2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Monday

Sanity questioned.
Economic scene is bad.
I’ve seen better days.

Hillary Clinton.
Liar liar pants on fire.
Is it nap time yet?

Food prices are up.
Ostriches might not know that.
Are you an ostrich?

Give them a whole week.
Veterans deserve better.
A day is too small.

CORI got reversed.
Supposed to hire those who pass.
Chelmsford got it wrong.

Tuesday

Climate change ain’t bad.
Terrorism’s a worse threat.
Stupid President.

Local news paper.
Focused on local stories.
I’m so offended.

Transgender restrooms.
Good for dads with young daughters.
Can’t leave them outside.

Expensive survey.
Told us what we always knew.
Workplace drama sucks.

Wednesday

A pressure cooker.
He said it was a Crockpot.
Stupid President.

Show his ass the door.
He needs to leave that house now.
Stupid President.

Called it “a setback”?
I’d call it “an act of war.”
Stupid President.

Cops don’t get along.
They just don’t see eye-to-eye.
Let Springsteen write it.

Back roads are speedways.
Moved out here to leave that shit.
Truckers in a rush.

Student loans do suck.
But that isn’t my problem.
Let Clintons pay them.

Veterans Parade.
We have parades all year round.
Why not one for them?

Religion is weird.
Fake religions are weirder.
I hate spaghetti.

Thursday

Big shoes must be filled.
A clown will be leaving soon.
Pelham’s fav’rite son.

Town taxes are high.
The auditor disagrees.
He’s an idiot.

Marty Meehan spends.
Then complains about low funds.
Stop drinking the rent.

Go through Mexico.
Easiest way to the states.
Works for Mexicans.

Food costs are lower.
Just depends on where you go.
We like DeMoulas.

Friday

They don’t want refuge.
Marathon bombers didn’t.
Wake-up call needed.

No more agendas.
This country needs more safety.
Stop being a Dem.

Moulton didn’t think.
His words could lead to more deaths.
Can’t respect this Vet.

On the lighter side:
Charlie Sheen has HIV.
That’s a knee-slapper.

Let’s destroy ISIS.
Get ev’ry last one of them.
Weak ass President.

Saturday

Cops don’t get along.
Paperwork being shuffled.
Drama gone public.

Twenty-five thousand.
More spent further in the red.
Can’t find the receipt.

I like her column.
But don’t care what she’s wearing.
She can leave that out.

Trump’s an honest man.
Not professional at all.
Couldn’t be simpler.

FDR was wrong.
Minimum wage jobs aren’t real.
Stupid President.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/26-31/15

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Monday

Great Wall of Chelmsford.
Needed to keep out the thieves.
Value the missing.

Yelling ‘Benghazi.’
Something something Clinton bitch.
Please listen to me.

My mornings start late.
All of these trucks confuse me.
Are they there all night?

More driving problems.
Calling Backtalk at red lights.
This is important.

Clichés can be fun.
Pigs will never really fly.
Peace is for losers.

I heart sarcasm.
But does it come across here?
Your baby is cute.

Police on cellphones.
While driving quickly down roads.
Rules aren’t for the blue.

Electric went up.
After I got a panel.
Shit just don’t make sense.

High bills hurt poor folks.
Just pointing it out for you.
Can we work on that?

We need more options.
Cable is my only life.
I can’t just unplug.

Tuesday

Lower speed limit.
Energy will be preserved.
Less death is good too.

Drivers are crazy.
Big Dig tunnel falls apart.
Too many loose screws.

Don’t overlook faults.
Boobs alone won’t get my vote.
Trump is qualified.

New safety feature:
Cellphones shut off when moving.
Carnage needs to go.

Wednesday

ACLU fights.
But not for gun fanatics.
We need an org too.

Kids knocking on doors.
Begging for field trip money.
Panhandlers are bred.

Death with dignity.
Here’s my dignified response:
Losers need to stop.

He’ll kill your grandma.
And tell you she wanted it.
Obama’s evil.

Hate socialism?
Don’t collect “your” Medicare.
Practice what you preach.

Thursday

Meat causes cancer.
I still want my nice and rare.
Veggies are a hoax.

Walgreens bought Rite Aid.
Drugstore monopoly soon.
Government has failed.

Dress up as a Dem.
Take candy to give away.
Make same joke next year.

Gronk should cut that out.
Kids in China don’t have footballs.
A terrible waste.

Friday

Obama was worse.
No matter what Sanders might do.
They’re both socialists.

Classroom cop was right.
Kids should always do as told.
Put your phones away.

High school athletics.
Some of these kids are losers.
Don’t deserve to play.

Witch hunt wasn’t waste.
Healthcare is a massive scam.
Complicated math.

Not socialism.
If it helps me out it’s good.
Socialism bad.

Saturday

Views on kids’ costumes?
That’s a question for debates?
No shits are given.

Five million dollars.
Spent on a senseless witch hunt.
By those who fly brooms.

Synchronized lighting.
We could use that on Bridge Street.
I’ll get home some day.

Fantasy football.
As much gambling as horses.
Just study the odds.

Moderators ask.
That’s what they are paid to do.
Answer carefully.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/19-24/15.

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Monday

RMV workers.
Good reason to use website
Robots are nicer.

8:20 packout.
Event went to 8:30.
Families left cold.

Overzealous Prez.
Trampling the Constitution.
Out to get my guns.

Tuesday

Things getting stolen.
Custodians are to blame.
Privatizing failed.

Self-inflicted ills.
The fault lies with the patient.
Includes fat smokers.

Debates too early.
I’ll be stuck in traffic then.
Will catch recordings.

Hillary flip flops.
No better than Mitt Romney.
Clearly bi-poller.

Traffic lights not synched.
High school buses standing still.
Walkers move faster.

Wednesday

Big ass donation.
Seems like a pretty nice guy.
Tuition is high.

The First Amendment.
We don’t need a spokesperson.
Meetings might go long.

Townline markers off.
Chelmsford isn’t in Lowell.
Other way around.

Auditorium.
How much money did they lose?
Reports not released.

Rushing the shooter.
The brave and right thing to do.
Libtards are cowards.

Thursday

Nat Grid screwed me big.
Tripled bill while I was gone.
Thieves on the meter.

I’m no socialist.
I’m leaving the Dems behind.
They’re no Kennedys.

Neighbors to the north.
Hoping we’ll save their asses.
They should learn to fight.

One thousand Trumpers.
Able to find Tyngsboro.
Didn’t expect that.

Lots of driving laws.
If you don’t like them don’t drive.
Cars are dangerous.

Stop making demands.
You’re a guest in this country.
Welcome overstayed.

Kids don’t need candy.
I’ll be giving out pencils.
Adding up their teeth.

Friday

Temp workers steal stuff.
Make them feel like they belong.
Hire them directly.

Halloween costume.
Dress like a Republican.
Steal candy from kids.

Platform based on race.
“I’ll help all Cambodians.”
Should help all of us.

Lecture series changed.
Not just lightweight fam’ly stuff.
Questioning choices.

Back Off in #Haiku. Sept 7-12th, 2015

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Monday

Two career options.
Both so splendidly crooked.
Choose schools or housing.

Dunkin Donuts yard.
Cleanest one on ev’ry block.
Like cows all graze there.

Ted Dibiase:
“Ev’rybody’s got a price.”
Washington proves it.

Speed trap on Douglas.
That would be a dream come true.
Pay for a new rink.

Get over yourself.
Not ev’ryone’s on welfare.
Your cross can come down.

New town flag design.
Can’t take it seriously.
Looks ridiculous.

Wednesday

Our flag looks just fine.
The new design is horrid.
I’ve been here a while.

On hundred eighty.
Number of school days required.
Let’s get ’em started.

Dracut Public Works.
Cleaned corner after one call.
Roads are visible.

Do something useful:
Face tattoos for pedophiles.
Don’t be too lenient.

Get the story right.
McKinley wasn’t renamed.
Denali came home.

Thursday

Cars parked on sidewalks.
No tickets on the windshields.
Puts kids on the streets.

Neighborhood schools work.
I got smart in one of them.
Have a nice house now.

Friendlier servers.
Dunkins on the Freeman Trail.
Really worth the ride.

Change up the stories.
All the news shows are reruns.
Find a new scandal.

Friday

Classrooms wicked hot.
City Hall air conditioned.
Nothing surprising.

Stop blocking the stands.
We came to watch some football.
Those are our grandsons.

Douglas Road Speedway.
Nobody’s doing 30.
Go give some tickets.

Kudos to Howe Tours.
Point out all the classic sites.
Damn good memories.

Saturday

No more refugees.
Other countries should help out.
We’ve given plenty.

Refugees invade.
Look what happened to the Greeks.
Tell them they should fight.

Democrat mansions.
That’s where we should house them all.
Not in my backyard.

Editorial.
Incredibly powerful.
Prob’ly on steroids.

Children in hot schools.
Officials didn’t help much.
Piss would be better.

Red Sox woke up late.
Sometime around late August.
Winter is coming.

Back Off in #Haiku. August 23-29th, 2015

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Backtalk

Monday

DCF knows best.
That’s why you don’t have your kids.
You’re not an expert.
 
Stop breaking the laws.
There is no special treatment.
Unless you’re wealthy.

More bike lanes coming.
In a place with lots of bikes.
We don’t need that shit.

The Sun won’t print this.
I double dog dare them to:
Trump is a racist.

Islands owned by state.
City can’t mow them at all.
Leave them out of it.

Selfish suicides.
Live for the guilt and pressure.
Or they’ll all hate you.

Tuesday

Sleazy casinos.
Nothing but ugly headaches.
Rejection was wise.

Lovely article.
Talking about antique ceilings.
Give tour guide credit.

Teach your kids cursive.
Or they can’t sign a mortgage.
Not that they’ll want to.

Selectmen did fine.
Stood up for the taxpayers.
That’s all we wanted.

Two-way street system.
Time has proven its success.
Major improvement.

Wednesday

Don’t like how they play?.
Tell kids they stink eye-to-eye.
Don’t be a pussy.
 
French train being watched.
Three countries and no action.
Did they change channels?

Lottery winnings.
Guaranteed with a town job.
All you do is quit.

Corrupt school system.
Abilities don’t matter.
Just connections count.

License suspensions.
People ignore and still drive.
Take their cars away.

Friday

DPW.
Driver threw trash out window.
He must love this town.
 
Hope Hillary wins.
It’d be fun to scare the right.
They’re too paranoid.

Biden and Warren.
Considering entering.
Improves Trump’s chances.

Voting for Donald.
He’s not a politician.
Even though he’s running.

Polish cemetery.
Lawn is looking fantastic.
Much appreciated.

New Wamesit lanes.
I’d like to see some duckpins.
It just needs duckpins.

We need more bowling.
Glad the lanes are being built.
The signs look awesome.

DCF knows best.
That’s why you don’t have your kids.
You’re not an expert.

Farmer’s almanac.
Predicting massive snow storms.
That sonovabitch.

Obama got in.
He’s less qualified than Trump.
Trump calls folks stupid.

Trees are all missing.
From Belvidere to Acre.
Plantings should happen.

Stop sign proved useful.
People actually stop now.
That might save a life.

Doggy ambulance.
Westford Emergency helped.
Call them up next time.

 

Back Off in #Haiku. Aug 17th – 22nd, 2015

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Backtalk:

Monday

Suspend their asses.
Never shall they find careers.
Honestly, they suck.

“Sold down the river.”
Bad slavery reference.
Use it on Niki.

Crosswalks got painted.
About time something got done.
Beurocrat cobwebs.

Position was filled.
Listing up for two more weeks.
A bull has the runs.

Zombies never hide.
City employers found them.
Check the DMV.

Roger Goodell’s name.
Sounds pretty close to “all good.”
Could be a factor.

70 birthdays.
And I got 70 cards.
You guys are awesome.

Defend our country.
Obama refuses to.
China takes over.

Tuesday

Minor league baseball.
Three dollars for parking spots.
That’s out of control.

Stand up for the swans.
Abuse witnesses all complained.
No one intervened.

Morons on jet skis.
A nuisance with no value.
May the swans eat them.

Unqualified helpers.
Nursing Home’s fault for hiring.
Please up your standards.

Olan Mills mug shots.
Those would make me feel better.
These guys look creepy.

Wednesday

Contracts are bullshit.
No reason for rolling time.
Use it or lose it.

School Department scam.
Getting paid for staying well.
Out right thievery.

DPW.
Quickly removed a large branch.
Very impressive.

A plan was in place.
Ignored by three incumbents.
Little will be said.

Black folks don’t donate.
I’ve never ever seen it here…
…on my cul de sac.

Iranian sand.
Site of promises and deals.
The tide is coming.

‘Alladin’ was good.
Kids did an excellent job.
Stoklosa school rocks.

Representatives?
The meaning escapes them all.
Zombies flunked English.
‘Thursday

Before you have kids.
Try to get your life straightened.
Or you’ll just lose them.

DCF power.
Dangerous amounts of trust.
I want my kids back.

Living under bridge.
More folks than you might expect.
Prez should help out more.

Bomber Boy’s sentence.
I’d like to see it finished.
No more words from him.

The Open Meeting Law
Routinely violated.
Board should be questioned.

Lake Mascuppic fowl.
Jet skiers like to scare them.
Doesn’t seem that fair.

Let the birds attack.
Jet skiers have it coming.
Can’t stand those assholes.

Painter didn’t help.
Sidewalks were on schedule.
Don’t give him credit.

Kids all learn typing.
Cursive is not that useful.
Massive waste of time.

Bikes ride with traffic.
Now they can’t see cars coming.
Don’t trust these drivers.

Friday

Wingate’s a nice place.
Two aides shouldn’t ruin them.
Punish just the aides.

Get to town meetings.
Stop whining from your sofa.
This isn’t pro sports.

LTC issues.
Poor picture and sound twice now.
Folk and Water fests.

Channel 8 was bad.
Nothing at first then blurry.
Too unwatchable.

Police summer camp.
My kids loved ev’ry minute.
Officers were great.

Only Trump said it.
No because he’s batshit nuts.
But because it’s true.

Saturday

Store owner with gun.
Had ev’ry right to use it.
Even afterwards.

Moment of silence.
We should have them for addicts.
Meetings wouldn’t start.

Notini’s is gone.
Another property lost.
School should pay taxes.

Money for teachers.
Seemed to come out of nowhere.
So much for the scare.

Chelmsford High coaches.
Should quit before they’re fired.
Seems like the right thing.

Sue the NFL?
You knew concussions happen.
What about the troops?

Nobody showed up.
No reason for open mic.
You shoulda been there.

Hillary Clinton.
I wanna see her phone calls.
She’s the new Nixon.

Back Off in #Haiku. August 3-8th, 2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Backtalk:

Monday

Cars under control.
Making streets safe for runners.
Thank-you officers.

Paid time off is good.
Sometimes people get real sick.
Bills need to be paid.

Deflategate still here?
Humanity must move on.
The blimp fell slowly.

It’s Obama’s fault.
Tom skipped out on the White House.
This is punishment.

Tuesday

Students jaywalking.
Maybe a bridge would help us.
These kids are stupid.

Tsongas still reading.
Really not much to study.
Muslims just hate us.

Make him go away.
Stuff his hair in his mouth first.
Draft dodging buffoon.

No big loss for us.
Maybe for the corrupt folks.
Not too sad ’bout that.

Some jerk hit my car.
Didn’t stick around at all.
I’m out two fifty.

Wednesday

NFL rule book:
Drugs will make you miss one game.
Tommy should get lit.

Jenner’s bathroom use:
Is that the boy’s room or girl’s?
I can’t sleep at all.

I am so outraged.
By a story that’s over.
My outrage will stay.

Your freaky tattoos.
Folks once paid to see those things.
Kind of like nipples.

Parking meter blues.
Got charged despite not staying.
Never going back.

Can’t water my lawn.
But town hall looks like Splash Town.
Goddamn hypocrites.

Thursday

I can’t paint sidewalks.
They’d kill me if I did that.
Why’d he get let off?

Jenner’s restroom use?
The biggest thing on your mind?
Are you five years old?

Moving out of state.
I don’t need sanctuary.
Hope Maine lets me in.

Not Obama’s fault.
Tom Brady understands that.
He’s reasonable.

A golfer moving.
Rest of the team will miss him.
A decent player.

Intersection blues.
Short lights equal longer waits.
Roads without movement.

Saturday

Debate on Fox News.
Not everyone has cable.
Why limit your reach?

I’m voting for Trump.
He’s the only one for me.
Without him I’ll die.

Tsongas unchallenged.
No real right wing contenders.
I’d like her to leave.

Leave Paint Man alone.
Drunks are killing your children.
Aim your hate wisely.

Get over Jenner.
Who cares about bathroom use?
None of your business.

Fund Planned Parenthood.
They do more than abortions.
Respect privacy.

One hundred percent.
Tax rate we’ll get from Sanders.
Possibly higher.

Sound Off

Monday

Kids today don’t care.
Gonna kill us old drivers.
Thinking they’re special.

Drug addicts get off.
Brady remains suspended.
Picture is crooked.

Stop the name calling.
Romney was good to that dog.
Hillary’s just mean.

Left wing is biased.
Ignores all faults on their side.
Some way worse than Trump.

Two philosophies:
One says earn and one says take.
Free spirits are earned.

Fancy pocketbooks.
Used to hold EBT cards.
An obvious fraud.

Solar energy.
Just another business plan.
Costs will match others.

Tuesday

Texting while driving.
West coast cracks down and saves lives.
Example now set.

Big arrows ignored.
Laws should reflect how things are.
Vote with your actions.

Socialism bad.
Trump is a conservative.
Not a plutocrat.

Benghazi and stuff.
Planned Parenthood something something.
I hate that black guy.

9-1-1 language.
English is good for most folks.
We should all learn it.

9-1-1 language.
Dispatcher assigned Lawrence.
Should be bilingual.

9-1-1 language.
Big country needs common voice.
Y’awl knows I right.

9-1-1 language.
With all due respect you’re wrong.
Bilinguals needed.

Other countries’ rules:
Learn the language or suffer.
They should have studied.

Tiger Woods is done.
Golf is a younger man’s game.
It always has been.

Workers live in fear.
Survey shows the Doctor to blame.
School Board doesn’t care.

Thursday

No magic coming.
Language barrier is real.
Ideals don’t matter.

Left is socialist.
No moderates on that side.
Only extremists.

Goodell’s a coward.
Afraid to do the right thing.
Caves in to owners.

Friday

People hate their phones.
Hillary and Tom Brady.
Suspend her four years.

Michael Christian helped.
I didn’t know why Trump sucks.
Blanks are now filled in.

Enough name calling.
Show Trump respect he deserves.
Only babies do that.

Got rid of smoking.
But replacing it with weed.
Smoke still kills your lungs.

Old folks learned English.
Why can’t the new immigrants?
Phone trees annoy me.

Saturday

Evangelicals.
Can’t use library as church.
Glad they got turned down.

Can’t adopt a dog.
Shelter is asking too much.
Would like a new friend.

Hillary Clinton.
Let’s reopen Alcatraz.
Throw away the boat.

Socialism works.
Billionaires live in Sweden.
Learn your history.

Democrats hate Trump.
He controls the dialogue.
Says what needs saying.

Back Off in #Haiku. July 20-25th, 2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also… I’ve been doing this for a year now. I know because next to me is a cinder block wall with little chalk markings. Five markings. Seven markings. Five markings. Over and over again. If I were a wrestler I would steal Rey Mysterio’s finishing move and rename it the 575. Someday I’ll move to New Mexico. Guess what their area code is. Maybe someday I’ll have children. A big family. Five girls. Seven boys. Five dogs. For now though I’m just going to relax. I’ll try to enjoy the Lowell Folk Festival (Five klezmer bands. Seven gospel bands. Five zydeco bands].

Sound Off

Monday

“Think before you speak.”
A concept unknown to Trump.
Rev brain before mouth.

Iran Contra deal.
Can’t blame Obama for that.
But you’ll prob’ly try.

Fake grassroots support.
Tries to sell us on cheap fuel costs.
Product exported.

Need more cameras.
Use them to catch litterers.
Big Brother’s room’s messy.

Haverhill’s a big city.
Can be hard to keep it clean.
Crack down on litter.

Casinos are watched.
Ev’ry inch strongly guarded.
Money won’t escape.

Boston casinos.
New Hampshire plates in the lot.
Why we need to build.

Tuesday

Sewer rate increase.
An annual occurrence.
Leaders should be dropped.

One big distraction.
Please step down when indicted.
Common procedure.

Wars are not a plot.
These people want to kill us.
Life is expensive.

Small town casino.
Couple thousand slot machines.
Nothing too fancy.

Blood on their hands.
For all who want Iran deal.
We lose ev’rything.

Wednesday

No sanctuary.
Immigrants are dangerous.
Too many victims.

Trump’s service record.
Got a student deferment.
Don’t think he learned much.

Space exploration.
Costs billions for Pluto pics.
Cancer’s still a thing.

Comic made a joke.
Said something like what Trump said.
Don’t vote for Chris Rock.

Small baby pipeline.
It won’t hurt anybody.
Coochy coochy coo.

Carbon monoxide.
You might want to learn about that.
Ventilation helps.

Thursday

Republicans failed.
Obama did ev’rything.
That’s why we need Trump.

Don’t talk to the guy.
Keep Trump out of all debates.
Hell with that scumbag.

We want honesty.
Even if it’s from a nut.
Candidates should learn.

Don’t raise minimum.
Go after deadbeat fathers.
Jail ’em till they pay.

No sanctuary.
Get deportations caught up.
Too many felons.

Electric bill down.
Now they want to make changes.
Don’t touch a damn thing.

Friday

Gas grill burned a house.
The Chief should educate folks:
Check your connections.

Root problem is cost.
Insurance just makes things worse.
Prices are crazy.

No sanctuary.
Take away their licenses.
Drive them out of town.

“Death to USA.”
Why are we dealing with him?
At least he’s honest.

Nepotistic cops.
Thought we had laws against that.
Who will enforce it?

Manager resigned.
“Private sector pays better.”
They didn’t want him.

Swapping addictions.
Vaping replaces smoking.
Better off stopping.

Saturday

Quran says shed blood.
Muslim leaders stay quiet.
Nature of their faith.

Trump is an asshole.
I agree with him a lot.
But he shouldn’t run.

Trophy wife t-shirt.
Target won’t carry that one.
Girls hate comedy.

Trump speaks the truth.
Nobody else has the balls.
McCain’s a pussy.

Planning board corrupt.
Bend like pretzels for builders.
Won’t return my calls.

Backtalk

Monday

Gov’s buds got a raise.
Minimum wage remains low.
Think I’ve heard this one.

Trump knows what to do.
Send the illegals back home.
They don’t belong here.

No black officers?
I know it’s a small city.
But can we fix that?

North shore casino.
Mayor micromanaging.
Just let them build it.

Where the house burned down.
Let’s turn it into a park.
Plant a few flowers.

The Prez on vacay.
He’s almost as bad as Bush.
Tell him to stay there.

Loser overpaid.
Common sense remains absent.
Disgust strongly felt.

Wednesday

Increase minimum.
Happy workers work harder.
No one will close shop.

Methadone mothers.
Blocked from clinic after fight.
They still need treatment.

Identity thieves.
Millions of our people hacked.
They want to be us.

Thursday

They’re laughing at us.
All over these six fine states.
Take your paint and leave.

Paying folks to quit.
After they screw up big time.
I can do that job.

Aramark composts.
Cooked food can’t be donated.
Violates health codes.

Right wing policies.
Too much in common with Greece.
How are they doing?

The Klan likes bed sheets.
Are we banning those now too?
Wahhh wahhh sniff sniff wahhhhhhh.

Balance the budget.
Budgets need to be balanced.
I’d like it balanced.

Friday

Not a good painter.
Didn’t use right kind of paint.
They make a street paint.

Painter guy should move.
Our town needs some landscaping.
George, come to Dracut.

Help is illegal?
Donated work and supplies.
Things weren’t getting done.

Trials are costly.
Let that lady pay for it.
Watch it disappear.

No sanctuary.
Illegals are illegal.
And no cake for gays.

Saturday

No fights in clinics.
Seems pretty reasonable.
Help was rejected.

Start with the sidewalks.
Then worry about rail trails.
Safety should come first.

I don’t like those guys.
Resumes overstated.
Just a couple hacks.