Category Archives: Politics

06.06.17
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Back Off in #Haiku June 2nd & 3rd 2017

[Please note: these poems are translated from phonecalls received and published by a newspaper with some dedicated reporters and some interesting readers. The translator is not responsible for whatever the original caller was trying to say].

Donnie says “pay up.”
That’s some good diplomacy.
Better than Capone.

Belvidere racist.
Only reason against Cawley.
It’s a pretty swamp.

Bank robbers don’t smile.
That’s the first thing they teach you.
Damn selfie addicts.

Courts should watch the news.
They’d see how right Donnie is.
Terrorists abound.

Donnie shoved a guy.
Like a halloween fat kid.
Teach him some manners.

Name all of the names.
Who is getting free health care?
Minds are enquiring.

Land without highways
Stealing companies from our town
This is a bad thing

Mercedes drivers
Keep riding free on MassHealth
All of them scammers

The Pope has a wall
Why can’t Donnie have a wall?
And a big white hat?

Eminent domain
Wrong on so many levels
I am against it

Nothing’s going right
Hamilton Canal a joke
Our schools are condemned

Empty streets all hours
There were crowds in the sixties
Vote all these bums out

Griffin went too far
What will other countries think?
Treat Donnie better

Simplify process
“Lowell High needs Principal”
Put that on Craig’s List

Car parked at night

Wrong side of road to nowhere

Fire trucks can’t zigzag

11.25.16
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Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 25, 2016

[Please note: these were translated from angry phonecalls which were transcribed by some poor bastard in the deep bowels of an old sweatshop. I performed these translations for close to two years before the redundancy of the task made me question many of the choices I’ve made in life. The process itself has enlightened me to the inner feelings and an awareness of the decrepitation process. I fear that soon I too, much like the callers, will be yearning for a day when I have a lawn so that I may yell at children to get off of it. This will never again be an every day thing, but sometimes pain helps to remind us. Happy Holidays.]

Stop crying you losers.
Donny won and time moves on
Never heard us whine.

Results cause sadness.
But solace comes from one source:
Trump won’t be my fault.

Medals of Freedom.
Given out like cheap candy.
Dignity comes soon.

Governor Baker:
“I’ll fight for sanctuaries.”
Voters move along.

I’m Republican.
Electoral College must go.
My Mass vote should count.

Learn English you punks.
You were born in this country.
No more excuses.

Donny’s little swamp.
His friends think it’s a hottub.
He’ll never drain it.

07.15.16
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Back Off in #Haiku, Friday July 12-15, 2016


[Please note: these poems are translated from phonecalls received and published by a newspaper Kerouac once covered sports for. The translator is not responsible for whatever the original caller was trying to say].

Young professionals.
Evicted by state college.
Not good for PR.

Lots of bad people.
Police protect us from them.
They don’t create them.

Tuition went up.
College is a lib’ral scam.
Overpaid hippies.

We need Joe Biden.
Lonely eyes need a savior.
Bleak choice churns stomachs.

Asians have accents.
We don’t need accents heeah.
We speak cleeahly.

Police aren’t perfect.
But overall they’re not bad.
Just do as you’re told.

UMass will eat us.
None of our houses are safe.
Tax exempt monster.

Hit-and-run driver.
Wiped out all of our mirrors.
Shit ton of bad luck.

Sell the town golf course.
Use that to help your children.
Stop socialized golf.

Fireworks are ignored.
Going off late into night.
Real easy to trace.

FBI was wrong.
Polls show we doubt what they found.
Called in twice myself.

Time clock company.
Must have gotten big tax breaks.
We should all punch out.

Transgender babies?
Let them learn how to walk first.
Figure that out later.

Enforce the gun laws.
Require ID for voting.
Get off of my lawn.

School breakfast program.
Kids shouldn’t eat at their desks.
Have bus use drive-thru.

Big dough not to work.
She was willing to stay on.
A town loses twice.

They do speak English.
Play dumb when need arises.
Hearts bleed for liars.

Donny knows trouble.
It comes from other countries.
Observant carrot.

Won’t attack mailman.
Need to protect welfare checks.
[direct deposit?]

Let’s all move forward.
Times will challenge all our wills.
But it’s just football.

03.04.16
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Back Off in #Haiku. March 3rd & 4th 2016.

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

For more haiku please buy the ebooks at www.Ratbas.com . These now come out monthly for $2.99. The February book should be ready by Tuesday.]

20,000 fools.
Massholes who jumped left to right.
Voting for a joke.

Not a big Trump fan.
Just can’t deal with Hillary.
I think she’s Muslim.

Schools spend on execs.
Money needs to help the kids.
Corruption rampant.

Collect those taxes.
Deadbeat home owners all hoard.
Bleed ev’ry last rock.

Hillary’s email.
FBI should ignore it.
Pardon guaranteed.

Primaries went well.
Great signage all around schools.
Planning saved hassles.

Results proved me wrong.
Trump beat out Carson and Cruz.
My faith is restored.

Unemployment down.
I don’t really like the Dems.
But that’s a good stat.

02.11.16
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Back Off in #Haiku. Feb 8-11th, 2016.

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also I’ll be cutting back on the number of poems appearing here but there will be plenty in the books: http://www.amazon.com/Steve-Rat-Albert/e/B01AC1W0UY ]

Bernie on gun laws.
Voted the way Vermont likes.
Job done properly.

Clearly homicide.
I could have told you all that.
Who needs evidence?

Better than Donny.
That’s all Clinton has to be.
Not a real challenge.

Enough with ISIS.
They’re just a talking point now.
Move on to issues.

Commie or felon.
Or vote for Republicans.
Plenty to pick from.

Offensive cartoon.
Families don’t watch that guy.
Put it on later.

It’s not racism.
At least not in all cases.
Folks have other flaws.

Drop some candidates.
Rubio and Cruz to start with.
Let’s narrow things down.

Is there still a draft?
Your poll question says there is.
Pretty sure it’s gone.

I like Valentine’s.
Cheapskates might whine about it.
Lonely folks can rot.

I enjoy romance.
Some say that makes me sexist.
Chivalry should live.

Marco Rubio.
Attack ads against third place?
Trump and Cruz suck too.

True conservatives.
It’s possible for one to win.
Ignore the mainstream.

Hillary’s email.
Bad guys might want to see it.
Should protect it more.

Small group runs this town.
They ignore what voters want.
Unite the county.

Hillary critics.
Witch hunters are on the Right.
Berners to the Left.

Nun fled scene of crash.
Why’s this story newsworthy?
Leave God’s girl alone.

Tuesday Feb 9

Days without power.
Then the telephone went dead.
Zombies coming soon.

Zombies on their way.
Phone company doesn’t care.
Need better service.

Not the worse problem.
Plenty of houses look bad.
Way worse than trailers.

Cops seem entitled.
I know I’m new to these parts.
That’s just how it feels.

Voting for gender?
Race didn’t work out too well.
Try the Jewish guy.

She’s a survivor.
All the “scandals” and attacks.
Give her that at least.

Teddy said something.
Luckily he mentioned Trump.
That’s why I heard him.

No pay for snow days.
Labor Ready won’t do it.
Nor should the high school.

Do the job you have.
Folks campaign and ignore work.
Shouldn’t be that way.

Chris Christie forgot.
Fat guys don’t do marathons.
Understandable.

Carly got shut down.
Stood a good chance for a sec.
Then money came in.

Hillary has balls.
Running with all her baggage.
Accomplished nothing.

Obama Part 2.
What Hillary claims she’ll be.
How’s that a good thing?

Assisted living.
They charge a thousand a week.
Double what I made.

Let’s stop heroin.
Border Patrol can’t do it.
Bring in the big guns.

Wednesday Feb 10

No good candidates.
They’re all crazy or evil.
Democrats will win.

Kasich ain’t that bad.
But no chance of him winning.
Vote the socialist.

Small town newsletter.
Selectman takes all credit.
Sun rose anyway.

Never fed horses.
Might not have been abusive.
But won’t win my vote.

Torture terrorists.
Keep them alive to do so.
Good use of money.

Snow thrown into street.
Makes for a big slushy mess.
Oughta be a law.

02.06.16
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Back Off in #Haiku. Feb 1-3, 2016

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also I’ll be cutting back on the number of poems appearing here but there will be plenty in the books: http://www.amazon.com/Steve-Rat-Albert/e/B01AC1W0UY ]

Monday, Feb. 1, 2016

“Negro” ain’t allowed.
Made me switch to “black person.”
What’s wrong with “red man.”

Not President yet.
But he’s still taking control.
Trump blooms with brilliance.

She can get things done?
All she’s done is lose four men.
Not a good record.

Rita cheered for Trump.
All the endorsement he needs.
I vote based on cheers.

Hillary’s a crook.
Can’t let her back in that house.
She’ll steal more doorknobs.

My country has changed.
Immigrants won’t learn English.
School costs have risen.

My country has changed.
Recovery unlikely.
I pass in sadness.

School leaders made calls.
Reminding parents to meet.
How dare those bastards.

Tuesday, Feb. 2, 2016

Just men on school board.
Kim is running next April.
Balance draws closer.

Clinton’s email thing.
Two dozen were top secret.
Corruption is strong.

Isn’t just driving.
Don’t text while crossing the street.
OMMFG

Library worker.
Lost job she blamed for illness.
Now vindicated.

Movie ads are gone.
Another relic in dust.
Tell me what’s playing.

Don’t let Donny win.
If he does we know God died.
Prayers for His health.

Wednesday, Feb. 3, 2016

Pretty big college.
Buildings all over the place.
Not always a Ball.

Solutions are good.
Trump hasn’t offered any.
Leaders need those things.

I saw a movie.
It made Hillary look bad.
Vote for a lightweight.

Trump lost Iowa.
Spin will be adorable.
Insults will follow.

Canada looks nice.
Heading up there if Trump wins.
Help them build their wall.

Dirty politics.
Helped a store get a license.
Try not to shop there.

Hillary stands strong.
Despite all trumped up charges.
Track record proven.

Trump is immature.
Freaks out over nothing.
Spoiled and clueless.

Voting for Clinton.
Has electability.
Nobody else does.

Winter has been mild.
Will property taxes sink?
Saving on the plows.

Nobody blames dogs.
We blame lazy dog owners.
That shit is their job.

Replace dog catcher.
This one doesn’t have a clue.
They’re the one that bark.

Rest homes expensive.
Monthly payments keep rising.
Choose one carefully.

The Prez is racist.
Get him out of The White House.
Nosey SOB.

02.01.16
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Back Off in #Haiku. January 25th-29th, 2016.

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also I’ll be cutting back on the number of poems appearing here but there will be plenty in the books: http://www.amazon.com/Steve-Rat-Albert/e/B01AC1W0UY ]

Monday, Jan. 25, 2016

Most of us want oil.
Cheapest way to heat your house.
Town should hear us out.

Drivers do fifty.
Speed limit is thirty-five.
Walkers in danger.

Lawyers make money.
Don’t want us knowing how much.
Guessing it’s a lot.

Town promotes new school.
Quiet about new pot shop.
Selective bragging.

Teachers deserve more.
Before politicians do.
Few of them get bribes.

Chandler Jones smoked weed.
Will he get endorsement deals?
Kids should stick to beer.

European tour.
All that’s missing from Trump’s show.
Kids sang for Hitler.

Wall Street stock traders.
Last folks I’ll trust with my funds.
Nest eggs named “Humpty.”

I’ve voted both ways.
Regretted it several.
Time to toss or clean

Plaza parking lot.
Spots taken by non-shoppers.
Problem increases.

Clinton’s a quitter.
Stepped aside for Obama.
Things I remember.

Dems save us money.
Fewer wars and cheaper gas.
Palin’s brain froze.

Tuesday, Jan. 26, 2016

It’s an old-school school.
Solid bricks made it last long.
Perfectly good place.

Major turnover.
Nobody wants to work there.
Obvious reasons.

Jobless rate will rise.
Small shops can’t pay those wages.
We’ll get minimized.

Go back to college.
Only way to get a good job.
To pay for college.

Stop stereotypes.
Name and mascot have to go.
Racial slurs aren’t names.

Wednesday, 1/27/16

Bernie is too old.
He’ll likely die in office.
That outweighs the good.

Always been Redmen.
Ev’ry white guy on that team.
Says so on my coat.

Better team and coach.
That’s why the Patriots lost.
Time to just move on.

Prohibition failed.
Now anti-gun laws will too.
Just drunks will have guns.

System is corrupt.
So we need a game show host.
What founders wanted.

Trump will clean up house.
Bring back the Constitution.
Above corruption.

Kids gave up cellphones.
Part of a cancer rally.
This thing needs to spread.

ID laws work well.
Why we use them for liquor.
Prevent voter fraud.

Group mentality.
Always loses reasoning.
That’s how we got Trump.

Trump can’t deliver.
Just says what you want to hear.
He can’t shoot people.

Pay folks what they’re worth.
Some people aren’t worth that much.
Can’t buy thinking skills.

Been here a long time.
Going back generations.
Time for you to leave.

Won’t vote for gender.
Women can be corrupt too.
Integrity counts.

People quote one guy.
Then say “all Republicans.”
Why stereotype?

Opioid crisis.
Wasn’t bad in the Bush years.
Walls will keep them out.

Don’t blame prescriptions.
Those have been here all along.
Unlike brown people.

Foreclosures rising.
I think it’s the economy.
Democrats to blame.

01.16.16
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Back Off in #Haiku. 1/11-16/2016.

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also I’ll be cutting out a lot of the older blogs, but you can find them on Amazon in the books.]

Monday, Jan. 11, 2016

Make toy guns less real?
Anybody can fake that.
Criminals can paint.

Admins don’t work much.
Teachers spend time with students.
Raises seem misplaced.

So many choices.
Not sure who the right one is.
Trump will doom us all.

Low pay means low skill.
Good janitors are worth more.
Only snobs don’t see.

Public pajamas.
Women shouldn’t dress that way.
Dress before leaving.

Train lines were there first.
Houses built to be near them.
Ironic complaints.

Tuesday, Jan. 12, 2016

You heartless bastard.
Six-year-olds are getting shot.
Crying was sincere.

Train all citizens.
Learn to defend our country.
Muslims are coming.

I’m not from that town.
Can’t really say much if it.
Prob’ly a nice place.

Vandals just can’t spell.
Only one ‘i’ in the word ‘pig.’
Bet they spelled ‘Trump’ right.

Not enough justice.
Sex offenders being helped.
Victims go hungry.

Wednesday, Jan. 13, 2016

Boxer without shorts.
Gentleman’s name is Neil King.
He laughs about it.

Major discipline.
Kids down south charged as adults.
Up here slapped on wrist.

Board missed an error.
Citizen picked up on it.
She should take over.

Lottery scandal.
Should be a lot more winners.
A scam attracts fools.

Best town manager.
Selectmen bash him always.
Not quiet for votes.

Planned Parenthood’s vote.
Killers support Hillary.
Surprises lacking.

Thursday 1/14/16

Granny shot mugger.
Anti-gunners don’t like it.
They want Granny dead.

Hecklers should have rights.
Even if Republican.
All things partisan.

Plates from New Hampshire.
On cars in my condo lot.
Please look into that.

Prez left banks alone.
Dislike Wall Street all you want.
Your hero stood by.

Children watch drug ads.
Philosophy is the same.
“Drugs are your hope.”

“Gun control” label.
Softened now to “gun safety.”
Only adds to sales.

Friday, Jan. 15, 2016

Beggars should move on.
Enough health to stand in cold.
Force them to take jobs.

Sanders and Warren.
She can only bring him down.
Though she’d beat Clinton.

The Prez never cries.
Just learned how to recently.
Cares not for children.

Let’s help our own first.
Why focus on refugees?
Veterans need help.

Hire the disabled.
Most grateful workers out there.
Proud to earn a check.

Prez remains quiet.
Won’t talk about each shooting.
Thousands of speeches.

Saturday, Jan. 16, 2016

Trump’s like Don Rickles.
Funny guy and good speaker.
But still an asshole.

Trump’s experience.
Knows nothing of politics.
Just like Obama.

Good Samaritan.
Helped despite her own issues.
People can be nice.

Small town arrests folks.
City should try doing same.
We have more dealers.

President Carter.
His speeches gave me nightmares.
Reagan tucked me in.

Trump is like Reagan.
Tells me what I want to hear.
Daddy says I’m great.

01.10.16
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Back Off in Haiku. 1/4-9/16

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also if you’ve ever wanted me to cut out the middleman on the Trump poems consider it done. Trump Tweets in Haiku is now available for Kindle. For $3 you get over one hundred haiku based mainly on his December poll results. Thank-you.]

1/4/2016

Meehan in the murk.
Right up there with old gangsters.
Big stories come soon.

Hats made in China.
Supporters left out in cold.
Trump rally not great.

Trump’s undercover.
Unelectable fav’rite.
Working for Clinton

Whiners stop progress.
“Redmen” honored Wamesit.
A statue stands tall.

Fed workers get more.
Seniors getting deeper cuts.
President cares not.

Robots predict games.
BB8 is Belichick.
8 Super Bowl wins.

Sinister dark plans.
Evil Prez will destroy us.
Leads terrorists.

Elections over.
Your concerns are meaningless.
Empty smiles vanish.

“Liar of the Year.”
Politifact named The Prez.
They’re still called leftist.

Bad drugs imported.
Just like all the dealers are.
The Left kills your kids.

Border guards corrupt.
Illegal drugs will not stop.
Use special forces.

1/5/16

Meehan makes too much.
Why tuition rates are high.
Worse than government.

Not really from here.
Moved to rich ‘hood at age two.
Made electable.

Why not let Trump speak?
America is pro-freedom.
Like Trump always says.

Liars surround us.
Nobody else to vote for.
Swallow your oatmeal.

Donated money.
Hope it went to someone nice.
Pretty sure it did.

Ransom sounds too high.
No way we paid five billion.
You’re fuggin’ crazy.

 

1/6/15

Sidewalks near the school.
Not cleared after a small storm.
A slippery slope.

I’d vote for Sandi.
I think she has to run though.
That’d be the first thing.

Programs now funded.
Billionaires still doing fine.
Obama did fine.

Natalie Cole’s voice.
Beautiful and will be missed.
Unforgettable.

Trump has health issues.
Specifically mental.
So does his fan base.

Air-filled Nutcracker.
Stolen from yard on New Year’s.
Return it you drunk.

Trump could be Hitler.
Wants to target immigrants.
Face of fear itself.

 

1/7/2016

I don’t have a gun.
But might need to kill a man.
I’d like to use his.

The Prez is Hitler.
If Hitler sold used Chryslers.
A heil of a deal.

Should protest Meehan.
Trump didn’t raise tuition.
Priorities count.

Flat wrapping paper.
Much cheaper after Christmas.
Paper Store has some.

Grew up with the guy?
You don’t sound grown up to me.
I doubt your wisdom.

1/8/2016

Three years probation.
Prob’ly got to keep money.
Justice is broken.

Officers busy.
Work ethic respectable.
Don’t ignore value.

Reagan’s market crash.
Resulted from trickle-down.
Days best left behind.

Bill Clinton’s hobbies.
Long gone from Oval Office.
Days best left behind.

 

1/9/2016

Live within budget.
You’re town leaders for Christ’s sake.
Start acting like it.

Unqualified fraud.
Crying his crocodile tears.
His cries disgust me.

Student protesters.
Embarrassment to our town.
Trump should be revered.

Beautiful lighting.
Town Common brought to splendor.
Company did well.

I still live in town.
You criticize from afar.
Grown-ups face their foes.

Snow on school busses.
Flies off onto my windshield.
Should have been removed.

Boxer in his jock.
Forgot to put his shorts on.
Smoke-filled memories.