Category Archives: Lowell

01.25.16
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Back Off in #Haiku. Jan 18-23, 2016

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also I’ll be cutting back on the number of poems appearing here but there will be plenty in the books: http://www.amazon.com/Steve-Rat-Albert/e/B01AC1W0UY ]

No special in’trests.
Trump owes nothing to no one.
That’s better than brains.

Civil Liberties?
Group is about extortion.
Nobody needs them.

Fake ass con artist.
He never shed a real tear.
I weep for us all.

Comcast and healthcare.
Nothing to watch but high bills.
I need both of them.

Greedy Democrats.
Drove out Gen’ral Electric.
Can we blame Bern yet?

Twenty-five long years.
And what had he accomplished?
Sanders won’t help none.

Leaders get released.
Heroin easy to get.
Prez fails at safety.

Righties have no heart.
And progressives have no brains.
Mindless media.

Tax on the stupid.
Invented by Obama.
Vote for a long shot.

Supreme Court Justice.
Scalia big into Church.
Wrong priorities.

Drug lord got away.
Kill him the next time he’s caught.
He’s prob’ly killed folks.

No shows at Tsongas.
Just political blowhards.
Trumpones get rusty.

‘Homeless’ panhandlers?
They’re prob’ly making good coin.
Check the McMansions.

Lottery winnings.
State took in sixty million.
Where’d that money go?

Dems hoping for Trump.
Know he doesn’t stand a chance.
Cruz could win it all.

Anchor baby Cruz.
Anchor dropped in Canada.
But he’s a Cuban.

Martin O’Malley.
Same positions as Sanders.
Just not as pretty.

Nothing will be fixed.
Bernie’s plan is still all gov.
Spread retirement funds.

Increase penalties.
Give illegal guns ten years.
No room for judges.

Neighbors voted ‘nay.’
Town gave permit anyway.
Children in danger.

Taxes won’t stay down.
Raise given to manager.
Others deserve more.

Taxes for seniors.
Lower ones would be helpful.
Or just pay us more.

Socialist Sanders.
Wants to destroy the country.
Plus he’s a commie.

01.16.16
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Back Off in #Haiku. 1/11-16/2016.

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also I’ll be cutting out a lot of the older blogs, but you can find them on Amazon in the books.]

Monday, Jan. 11, 2016

Make toy guns less real?
Anybody can fake that.
Criminals can paint.

Admins don’t work much.
Teachers spend time with students.
Raises seem misplaced.

So many choices.
Not sure who the right one is.
Trump will doom us all.

Low pay means low skill.
Good janitors are worth more.
Only snobs don’t see.

Public pajamas.
Women shouldn’t dress that way.
Dress before leaving.

Train lines were there first.
Houses built to be near them.
Ironic complaints.

Tuesday, Jan. 12, 2016

You heartless bastard.
Six-year-olds are getting shot.
Crying was sincere.

Train all citizens.
Learn to defend our country.
Muslims are coming.

I’m not from that town.
Can’t really say much if it.
Prob’ly a nice place.

Vandals just can’t spell.
Only one ‘i’ in the word ‘pig.’
Bet they spelled ‘Trump’ right.

Not enough justice.
Sex offenders being helped.
Victims go hungry.

Wednesday, Jan. 13, 2016

Boxer without shorts.
Gentleman’s name is Neil King.
He laughs about it.

Major discipline.
Kids down south charged as adults.
Up here slapped on wrist.

Board missed an error.
Citizen picked up on it.
She should take over.

Lottery scandal.
Should be a lot more winners.
A scam attracts fools.

Best town manager.
Selectmen bash him always.
Not quiet for votes.

Planned Parenthood’s vote.
Killers support Hillary.
Surprises lacking.

Thursday 1/14/16

Granny shot mugger.
Anti-gunners don’t like it.
They want Granny dead.

Hecklers should have rights.
Even if Republican.
All things partisan.

Plates from New Hampshire.
On cars in my condo lot.
Please look into that.

Prez left banks alone.
Dislike Wall Street all you want.
Your hero stood by.

Children watch drug ads.
Philosophy is the same.
“Drugs are your hope.”

“Gun control” label.
Softened now to “gun safety.”
Only adds to sales.

Friday, Jan. 15, 2016

Beggars should move on.
Enough health to stand in cold.
Force them to take jobs.

Sanders and Warren.
She can only bring him down.
Though she’d beat Clinton.

The Prez never cries.
Just learned how to recently.
Cares not for children.

Let’s help our own first.
Why focus on refugees?
Veterans need help.

Hire the disabled.
Most grateful workers out there.
Proud to earn a check.

Prez remains quiet.
Won’t talk about each shooting.
Thousands of speeches.

Saturday, Jan. 16, 2016

Trump’s like Don Rickles.
Funny guy and good speaker.
But still an asshole.

Trump’s experience.
Knows nothing of politics.
Just like Obama.

Good Samaritan.
Helped despite her own issues.
People can be nice.

Small town arrests folks.
City should try doing same.
We have more dealers.

President Carter.
His speeches gave me nightmares.
Reagan tucked me in.

Trump is like Reagan.
Tells me what I want to hear.
Daddy says I’m great.

01.10.16
by

Back Off in Haiku. 1/4-9/16

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also if you’ve ever wanted me to cut out the middleman on the Trump poems consider it done. Trump Tweets in Haiku is now available for Kindle. For $3 you get over one hundred haiku based mainly on his December poll results. Thank-you.]

1/4/2016

Meehan in the murk.
Right up there with old gangsters.
Big stories come soon.

Hats made in China.
Supporters left out in cold.
Trump rally not great.

Trump’s undercover.
Unelectable fav’rite.
Working for Clinton

Whiners stop progress.
“Redmen” honored Wamesit.
A statue stands tall.

Fed workers get more.
Seniors getting deeper cuts.
President cares not.

Robots predict games.
BB8 is Belichick.
8 Super Bowl wins.

Sinister dark plans.
Evil Prez will destroy us.
Leads terrorists.

Elections over.
Your concerns are meaningless.
Empty smiles vanish.

“Liar of the Year.”
Politifact named The Prez.
They’re still called leftist.

Bad drugs imported.
Just like all the dealers are.
The Left kills your kids.

Border guards corrupt.
Illegal drugs will not stop.
Use special forces.

1/5/16

Meehan makes too much.
Why tuition rates are high.
Worse than government.

Not really from here.
Moved to rich ‘hood at age two.
Made electable.

Why not let Trump speak?
America is pro-freedom.
Like Trump always says.

Liars surround us.
Nobody else to vote for.
Swallow your oatmeal.

Donated money.
Hope it went to someone nice.
Pretty sure it did.

Ransom sounds too high.
No way we paid five billion.
You’re fuggin’ crazy.

 

1/6/15

Sidewalks near the school.
Not cleared after a small storm.
A slippery slope.

I’d vote for Sandi.
I think she has to run though.
That’d be the first thing.

Programs now funded.
Billionaires still doing fine.
Obama did fine.

Natalie Cole’s voice.
Beautiful and will be missed.
Unforgettable.

Trump has health issues.
Specifically mental.
So does his fan base.

Air-filled Nutcracker.
Stolen from yard on New Year’s.
Return it you drunk.

Trump could be Hitler.
Wants to target immigrants.
Face of fear itself.

 

1/7/2016

I don’t have a gun.
But might need to kill a man.
I’d like to use his.

The Prez is Hitler.
If Hitler sold used Chryslers.
A heil of a deal.

Should protest Meehan.
Trump didn’t raise tuition.
Priorities count.

Flat wrapping paper.
Much cheaper after Christmas.
Paper Store has some.

Grew up with the guy?
You don’t sound grown up to me.
I doubt your wisdom.

1/8/2016

Three years probation.
Prob’ly got to keep money.
Justice is broken.

Officers busy.
Work ethic respectable.
Don’t ignore value.

Reagan’s market crash.
Resulted from trickle-down.
Days best left behind.

Bill Clinton’s hobbies.
Long gone from Oval Office.
Days best left behind.

 

1/9/2016

Live within budget.
You’re town leaders for Christ’s sake.
Start acting like it.

Unqualified fraud.
Crying his crocodile tears.
His cries disgust me.

Student protesters.
Embarrassment to our town.
Trump should be revered.

Beautiful lighting.
Town Common brought to splendor.
Company did well.

I still live in town.
You criticize from afar.
Grown-ups face their foes.

Snow on school busses.
Flies off onto my windshield.
Should have been removed.

Boxer in his jock.
Forgot to put his shorts on.
Smoke-filled memories.

01.02.16
by

Back Off in #Haiku. 12/28/15-1/2/16

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also, if you want to buy my books on Kindle that’d be cool.http://www.amazon.com/dp/B019GLL1S8/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_awdo_9BYDwb1Q0YMTF]

Monday, 12/28/15

Boxer should retire.
All those fights have done their harm.
Pastures are calling.

Fiorina stays.
She can beat anybody.
Except maybe Trump.

Donut shop tax break..
Like they’ll bring in some tourists.
Our town is struggling.

Insane light display.
Bigger than Disney Parades.
Pride of cul de sac.

Trump and Obama.
More in common than you think.
They’re both dictators.

Apple Computers.
Just a Chinese company.
Not like Nokia.

Trump is all they’ve got?
Fifteen people were on stage.
Evolution failed.

Moved to New Hampshire.
To avoid wage increases.
Polartec fleeced us.

Officer on phone.
Wonder who he’s talking to.
Wish I had that job.

Fight the drug dealers.
Cut heroin at the source.
Narcan’s behind this.

Clinton will close schools.
That ain’t a President’s job.
Border patrol is.

Sentences cancelled
Undoing work of police.
Obama loves drugs.

Roads must be repaired.
Taxes pay for things like that.
How government works.

Tuesday 12/29/15

Beautiful picture.
Best front page you could have run.
Meaning of Christmas.

You nailed the cover.
Wonderful picture of Christ.
No pun intended.

“Night Before Christmas.”
Front page poem was much needed.
Tradition should grow.

Merry Christmas all.
I say this to ev’ryone.
The rabbis love it.

Anti-Christians suck.
We’re surrounded by many.
They hate our good vibes.

Give me for Christmas
The head of Roger Goodell.
Kids need role models.

Night before Christmas
All barbershops were shut down.
Town run by grinches.

Prostitution sting.
Put a damper on Christmas.
Needed to be done.

Congress is sneaky.
Lobbyists now non-profits.
You watched a ball drop.

Beggars increase trash.
Councilor got it cleaned up.
Mayor did nothing.

Mayor proud of work.
But it was a half-assed job.
Parking but no stores.

Wednesday 12/30/15

Like did not Star Wars.
Too commercialized it was.
Tix costly they are.

Democrat debates.
Clinton doesn’t want viewers.
She chooses time slots.

“Black Lives Matter” sign.
I believe all lives matter.
Even the priv’leged.

Global warming’s nice.
Saves me money on heating.
That seems ironic.

Hustle and bustle.
Ain’t got that out in these parts.
We’re one town over.

Silent but deadly.
Gas leaks all over the town.
This government blows.

Beggars should clean up.
Doesn’t seem like much to ask.
It’s their goddamn mess.

Thursday 12/31/15

Trump’s a douche nozzle.
But he has a right to speak.
He can be peaceful.

Protesters are mean.
If you don’t like Trump stay home.
Trump’s open-minded.

Free speech is for Trump.
Protesters don’t have any.
Next they’ll deport him.

Kid speeds down Main Street.
Cop sees and does not chase him.
Laws are meaningless.

New Hampshire blames us.
Says we’re the reason for drugs.
We don’t have those crops.

Gas under two bucks.
People pay thirty cents more.
They should shop around.

It isn’t hate speech.
They’re just prone to hurting folks.
Religion does that.

Friday 1/1/16

Kids should learn the law.
Amendments apply to Trump.
Let the poor man speak.

Our rights are infringed.
We have a right to be scum.
Slave owners said so.

Tsongas Arena.
Named for a quality man.
Unlike Trump Plaza.

Repairs came out nice.
Looks incredibly nicer.
Father Nick gets thanks.

Beggars ev’rywhere.
It’s like an epidemic.
And they’re all loaded.

Saturday 1/2/16

Tribe members all gone.
Sport logos all we have left.
That’s our heritage.

Poor job snow clearing.
Preschoolers could do better.
There goes the budget.

Plow the width of street.
Things too narrow as it is.
Mice can do better.

Two thousand sixteen.
Hope this year goes much better.
Last year can bite me.

Mice and preschoolers.
Do they make shovels that small?
More storms are coming.

12.27.15
by

Back Off in #Haiku. 12/21-26/15

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also, if you want to buy my books on Kindle that’d be cool. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B019GLL1S8/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_awdo_9BYDwb1Q0YMTF ]

Monday 12/21/15

High school runs this town.
They get raises while we’re broke.
Stupidity reigns.

One drug dealer gone.
So many still run the show.
Big pharma must go.

Buddhist holiday?
There ain’t one in December.
Display makes no sense.

One-family homes.
Need to stop subdividing.
Neighborhoods crowd up.

You don’t need to know.
If you know so do bad guys.
Get over yourselves.

Don’t make us Revere.
We don’t wanna be Revere.
Let us have some class.

Merry Christmas jerks.
Two merry fingers to you.
Just like Jesus would.

High school drama club.
Excellent job with “Carol.”
Adds to the season.

Debatable plans.
Dems can’t plan anything right.
That’s my bowling night.

Dem ideas bad.
That’s why they keep on lieing.
Global warming’s fake.

Poor people need help.
Minimum wage can do that.
Mid class is all set.

Stop with the head shots.
Shoot them in non-vital zones.
Cops would look better.

Shelters are busy.
Clearly Obama’s result.
I’d close shelters down.

Spend more on prisons.
Obama refuses to.
Won’t listen to me.

Let’s bring back the draft.
But only for candidates.
Bastards gotta learn.

12/22/15 Tuesday

School board cried poor mouth.
Superintendent got raise.
My vote goes elsewhere.

Superintendent.
Many towns giving raises.
Minimal results.

Arena empty.
No events besides hockey.
Needs new management.

Wallet was misplaced.
Finder turned it in for me.
Favor paid forward.

Flat wrapping paper.
Arthritis makes rolls a pain.
Help me find the flats.

Gov is pro-solar.
We have bad infrastructure.
One thing at a time.

Trump lies most the time.
Legit three-quarters bullshit.
Fact-checkers can’t rest.

Women and kids first.
That’s just how saving folks goes.
Stop being so scared.

Mideast refugees.
Obama let in millions.
Mostly terrorists.

Tuition goes up.
Administrators make more.
Kids remain stupid.

12/22/15 Tuesday (alt)

Student fees all raised.
Superintendent paid more.
A board still cries ‘poor.’

All towns do the same.
Elected feel entitled.
Changes should be forced.

Arena empty.
School needs new blood to run it.
Asset sans asses.

Lost wallet returned.
Paying forward will commence.
Donation soon made.

12/23/15 Wednesday

Leave Trumpster alone.
Sure he’s lieing and corrupt.
Name one who isn’t.

Blamed Trump for ISIS.
Completely a false attack.
Trump loves those bastards.

Polls are meaningless.
Only votes end up counting.
Lie to the callers.

Lottery scammers.
Investigation now due.
Continue coverage.

Horses have been saved.
Another farm has stepped up.
Old owner was bad.

School bathrooms messy.
Tried using one at a game.
Traumatized for life.

Debates on cable.
Candidates won’t reach the poor.
Concern seems lacking.

12/24/15 Thursday

Not that bad a guy.
Just has some vocal critics.
My vote goes to him.

Flat wrapping paper.
Many folks have arthritis.
Rolls can be painful.

Schools say no bullies.
Then Trump becomes frontrunner.
Messages get mixed.

Trump is my douchebag.
Our opinions are the same.
I vote for douchebags.

Construction projects.
Making neighborhoods ugly.
Renovate instead.

Religions are cool.
I like all of the faithful.
Stop killing people.

12/25/15 Friday

Democrat debates.
Always on Saturday nights.
I’m watching football.

Tried helping himself.
That’s where aid should be given.
Not to panhandlers.

Star Wars article.
Articulate and reasoned.
Just like the Bond ones.

Letter was well-written.
Hopefully people read it.
Elections come soon.

Panhandler wastes time.
Could have found a job by now.
Guy stands there all day.

12/26/15 Saturday

Sherriff is moving.
We liked having them around.
Don’t replace with Dunk’s.

I miss that movie.
They used to play it all day.
It was Wonderful.

Gregory Peck’s hot.
Makes my Christmas just sparkle.
Keys of my Kingdom.

Stop crying poor mouth.
Cops and teachers just want more.
We ain’t got no more.

Seniors deserve more.
State took money from our checks.
Time to pay it back.

Stranger bought coffee.
Random kindness at a Dunks.
Merriest Christmas.

Trump would out Anne Frank.
He’d send the Von Trapp’s back home.
And eat live puppies.

12.13.15
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Back Off in #Haiku. 12/7-13/2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Monday

He’s just out of touch.
Climate change doesn’t kill folks.
Guys with guns do.

Fear is a good thing.
We need to spread more of it.
Better than Muslims.

Lines on roads fading.
Outlasted by need for them.
Make them immortal.

We call it “Chistmas.”
Kids don’t know who it’s named for.
Put that in your ads.

Police on Segways.
Riding up and down sidewalks.
Won’t let me do that.

Wednesday

Don’t be negative.
Call with something nice to say.
For two lousy weeks.

Don’t want the pipeline?
Stop consuming what’s there now.
Try going without.

Historic value.
Houses should be protected.
We don’t need parking.

Christian terrorists?
Christians don’t kill for Jesus.
I know my Koran.

Fix global warming?
A fake issue for fake Prez.
Go back to Disney.

Interview Tsongas.
Ask her about Obama.
Ask “Why does he suck?”

Thursday

Exonerated?
They just kept it all private.
Guy is still corrupt.

We need more pipelines.
Because more makes it cheaper.
Just like with donuts.

Climate change is real.
The weather is one way to tell.
Glad to see meetings.

Privilege needs to go.
Too many people abuse it.
Stop assault rifles.

Prez and FBI.
Disagreements have arisen.
Trust the FBI.

Friday

I’m saying “Christmas.”
Don’t let money ruin it.
The Right ain’t like that.

New Fire Department.
Put it on some old backroad.
Shouldn’t be central.

Property taxes.
Increasing for two straight years.
Bring back the last guy.

Too big to be broke.
Must be all the freeloaders.
High school will bring more.

We’re all embarrassed.
This lady needs to just leave.
Stop voting for her.

Voted based on his race.
And elected a racist.
You’re all so stupid.

We’re simply concerned.
That doesn’t make us racist.
Makes us hypocrites.

Pizza shop closed down.
Next to store selling same style.
Can’t imagine why.

Impeach Obama.
I want that done yesterday.
I’m very angry.

Saturday

Upstream river town.
Used to look much prettier.
Now looks like Jersey.

Page layout was nice.
That’s the kind of thing I want.
Comf’table reading.

Billerica High School.
Marched in Disney World Parade.
Congratulations.

Blaming Obama.
Can’t even label things right.
Time for him to go.

Country divided.
Can’t agree on anything.
Let’s order pizza.

12.06.15
by

Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 30th-Dec 5th, 2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Monday

Baker’s a RINO.
Letting all refugees in.
Not how we do things.

Thank first responders.
They’ll be the first to respond.
Kind of what they do.

Turkeys get pardoned.
Why not a politician?
Let DiMasi go.

All starts with music.
That’s why I’ve got raccoon hats.
Love Davey Crockett.

Lots of cash in town.
Folks just too tight to spend it.
Cheap schools make dumb kids.

Hand out birth control.
We need fewer new people.
Resources stretched thin.

Medicare costs up.
But I’m not getting a raise.
People need to die.

Know what ISIS hates?
Little Jesus dolls and stuff.
We need manger scenes.

Tuesday

How would that guy know?
Saying what’s American.
Stupid President.

Working Thanksgiving
Only to serve immigrants
White folks shouldn’t work

Silly beef eagles
Demanding racial justice
Cops never beat you

Next Prez might ban guns
Only cops and soldiers armed.
Fewer mass shootings.

Twice for Obama?
Now looking at Hillary?
Sanders would be change.

Wednesday

Parents should teach kids
At least basics before school
Could reduce tow costs

Manners are all gone
Mom almost got her arm broke
Open doors for the old

Pile of dirt near road
Might be carcinogenic
That’d be my first thought

Transfer station hours
They added an extra day
Changes ev’rything

More white terrorists
Story buried in the back
Please stop doing that

Just live by the law
Nothing will happen to you
Statistics all lie

Thursday

Media bias
Igores that Brown reached for gun
That was testified

Should have been let go
Doesn’t deserve a pension
Welfare for corrupt

We all need our sleep
But no footy pajamas
Makes all cops look bad

Pro-lifers don’t care
Their hate starts right when you’re born
Want all programs cut

Splendid paving job
Westford Street and Cupples Square.
It looks really nice

Friday

Said we don’t need tanks.
Said they make people nervous.
All cities need tanks.

Meeting went poorly.
Houses along pipeline got screwed.
Not too late to help.

“Christian terrorists.”
Folks avoid using that term.
Lot of them out there.

Irish were harmless.
Always been people of peace.
Never violent.

I like Hillary.
She’d make a good President.
Im voting for her.

Saturday

Keep them to yourself.
Don’t want fugees in my yard.
Trust remains lacking.

Kids t.p.’d my house.
They’re a bunch of criminals.
Can’t get this stuff down.

Christmas season soon.
Just two more short weeks to go.
Some folks start early.

They’ve got same last name.
And do things kind of the same.
Must be related.

DiMasi’s pardon.
I don’t see that happening.
Kind of a sleazebag.

Black Friday victims.
Hard to feel sorry for them.
Running of the fools.

11.28.15
by

Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 23-28, 2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Monday

Ship all these bastards.
Useless and corrupt to boot.
Mistakes have been made.

Follow your money.
Taxes spent on bad programs.
Changes are needed.

He lied ’bout healthcare.
Won’t trust him on refugees.
Killers will sneak in.

Dems just give stuff out.
JFK told them “Ask not…”
Make this country great.

Tuesday

Spread fear like herpes.
Don’t really care who they hurt.
Right is good at that.

You’ll all get herpes!
Potential is ev’rything!
Marines should know this.

We need a new Prez.
I do not like this person.
He is not that good.

Romney would be nice.
Instead an ass hat now runs.
Dumb clueless ass hat.

Can’t judge anyone.
Not until you’re in their shoes.
Love my foot fetish.

Wednesday

Give me a damn raise.
I haven’t worked in decades.
And I didn’t save.

Dude’s fuggin’ brilliant.
Like right up there with Trumpster.
I’m writing him in.

John Kerry just sucks.
Seth Moulton equally bad.
I hate veterans.

There’s more terrorists.
Many of them speak English.
You can report that.

Kendall and Rodney.
Such close tight friendly buddies.
Ken should run next time.

Thursday

Begging to be robbed.
Don’t leave purses out open.
Thieves can strike quick.

Refugees hide scum.
They are from cultures of hate.
Doors should remain shut.

Mercier and Rourke.
Got the high school roof repaired.
A job done quickly.

Pipeline will save us.
Beef eagles just keep whining.
These are good people.

Respect privacy.
Salaries aren’t your concern.
Don’t create targets.

Friday

Letter from Blossom.
A well-written joy to read.
Keep up the good work.

Lot of hate for Vets.
Seems to be coming from Right.
Pretty disgusting.

Tsongas out of touch.
Her lockstep differs from mine.
Supposed to lead right.

Shawsheen Tech freshmen.
Undefeated football team.
Great job getting there.

Headlights at all times.
Factories should make it so.
Folks get forgetful.

Saturday

Look in the mirror.
Understand you’re a failure.
Clueless management.

Rodney will be missed.
Unless he forgets to leave.
Deer in a spotlight.

Fashion designers.
Not relevant to fashion.
Photos should be cropped.

Insult my city.
We hardly get attention.
We have losers too.

We are all sinners.
But at least we’re not creepy.
Your ways are messed up.

11.21.15
by

Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 16-21, 2015

image

[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Monday

Sanity questioned.
Economic scene is bad.
I’ve seen better days.

Hillary Clinton.
Liar liar pants on fire.
Is it nap time yet?

Food prices are up.
Ostriches might not know that.
Are you an ostrich?

Give them a whole week.
Veterans deserve better.
A day is too small.

CORI got reversed.
Supposed to hire those who pass.
Chelmsford got it wrong.

Tuesday

Climate change ain’t bad.
Terrorism’s a worse threat.
Stupid President.

Local news paper.
Focused on local stories.
I’m so offended.

Transgender restrooms.
Good for dads with young daughters.
Can’t leave them outside.

Expensive survey.
Told us what we always knew.
Workplace drama sucks.

Wednesday

A pressure cooker.
He said it was a Crockpot.
Stupid President.

Show his ass the door.
He needs to leave that house now.
Stupid President.

Called it “a setback”?
I’d call it “an act of war.”
Stupid President.

Cops don’t get along.
They just don’t see eye-to-eye.
Let Springsteen write it.

Back roads are speedways.
Moved out here to leave that shit.
Truckers in a rush.

Student loans do suck.
But that isn’t my problem.
Let Clintons pay them.

Veterans Parade.
We have parades all year round.
Why not one for them?

Religion is weird.
Fake religions are weirder.
I hate spaghetti.

Thursday

Big shoes must be filled.
A clown will be leaving soon.
Pelham’s fav’rite son.

Town taxes are high.
The auditor disagrees.
He’s an idiot.

Marty Meehan spends.
Then complains about low funds.
Stop drinking the rent.

Go through Mexico.
Easiest way to the states.
Works for Mexicans.

Food costs are lower.
Just depends on where you go.
We like DeMoulas.

Friday

They don’t want refuge.
Marathon bombers didn’t.
Wake-up call needed.

No more agendas.
This country needs more safety.
Stop being a Dem.

Moulton didn’t think.
His words could lead to more deaths.
Can’t respect this Vet.

On the lighter side:
Charlie Sheen has HIV.
That’s a knee-slapper.

Let’s destroy ISIS.
Get ev’ry last one of them.
Weak ass President.

Saturday

Cops don’t get along.
Paperwork being shuffled.
Drama gone public.

Twenty-five thousand.
More spent further in the red.
Can’t find the receipt.

I like her column.
But don’t care what she’s wearing.
She can leave that out.

Trump’s an honest man.
Not professional at all.
Couldn’t be simpler.

FDR was wrong.
Minimum wage jobs aren’t real.
Stupid President.

11.14.15
by

Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 9-14th, 2015.

image

[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Monday

Vote on Saturday.
More people would show up then.
Unless it’s nice out.

Election workers.
All did a wonderful job.
Nice and supportive.

Pave the overpass.
Everything else came out nice.
Bridges are crumbling.

Lowell Registry.
Less pleasant than dental work.
A very bad trip.

Pretty juvenile.
We know you don’t like the Prez.
But be an adult.

Tuesday

Supportive comments.
Beautiful positive thoughts.
Rainbows and puppies.

I’m a freethinker.
Just like my party tells me.
You guys are all sheep.

Lanes should be painted.
Let me know when to leave this road.
Marketing can wait.

Housing Director.
Shows up and puts in his day.
Last guy never did.

Michelle down in circ.
Got me back on some kid’s route.
Paperboys hate me.

Thursday

I could do that job.
And I’m a crazy old guy.
Come change my diaper.

All pipelines are bad.
Not just the one in your yard.
I need a Keystone.

Thank all of our vets.
Ballsiest mofos out there.
Make sure they get fed.

Bush was a nightmare.
All is better with Barrack.
Women have rights now.

I agree with that guy.
Nothing for me to say here.
He got that thing right.

Demo-rats all suck.
Country’s just going to hell.
I like name calling.

Friday

I don’t wanna work.
Let me hide behind the flag.
I hate immigrants.

Give ’em all a turn.
Let each of them be mayor.
Gavels mean nothing.

I like veterans.
Bunch of brave motherfuckers.
Buy them each a beer.

Lowell hates my kids.
Street paving blocked my driveway.
They’re going to starve.

Santa’s silhouette.
Lit up City Hall’s clockface.
Bring him back to us.

Freshman volleyball.
The girls didn’t lose one game.
Lowell High kicks ass.

Saturday

Underlings are rude.
The Chief does all that he can.
Blame the officers.

Surveys costs too much.
Manager should do his job.
Witch hunts shouldn’t fly.

Low pay fast food jobs.
Manufacturing is gone.
Things have gotten worse.

Golfer moving up.
Makes ten grand in a weekend.
No cheap beers for him.

Street lights are needed.
Police parking lot is dark.
Lives are being risked.

Stupid do-gooders.
Always trying to do good.
Don’t help me any.