Back Off in #Haiku. August 3-8th, 2015


[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]



Cars under control.
Making streets safe for runners.
Thank-you officers.

Paid time off is good.
Sometimes people get real sick.
Bills need to be paid.

Deflategate still here?
Humanity must move on.
The blimp fell slowly.

It’s Obama’s fault.
Tom skipped out on the White House.
This is punishment.


Students jaywalking.
Maybe a bridge would help us.
These kids are stupid.

Tsongas still reading.
Really not much to study.
Muslims just hate us.

Make him go away.
Stuff his hair in his mouth first.
Draft dodging buffoon.

No big loss for us.
Maybe for the corrupt folks.
Not too sad ’bout that.

Some jerk hit my car.
Didn’t stick around at all.
I’m out two fifty.


NFL rule book:
Drugs will make you miss one game.
Tommy should get lit.

Jenner’s bathroom use:
Is that the boy’s room or girl’s?
I can’t sleep at all.

I am so outraged.
By a story that’s over.
My outrage will stay.

Your freaky tattoos.
Folks once paid to see those things.
Kind of like nipples.

Parking meter blues.
Got charged despite not staying.
Never going back.

Can’t water my lawn.
But town hall looks like Splash Town.
Goddamn hypocrites.


I can’t paint sidewalks.
They’d kill me if I did that.
Why’d he get let off?

Jenner’s restroom use?
The biggest thing on your mind?
Are you five years old?

Moving out of state.
I don’t need sanctuary.
Hope Maine lets me in.

Not Obama’s fault.
Tom Brady understands that.
He’s reasonable.

A golfer moving.
Rest of the team will miss him.
A decent player.

Intersection blues.
Short lights equal longer waits.
Roads without movement.


Debate on Fox News.
Not everyone has cable.
Why limit your reach?

I’m voting for Trump.
He’s the only one for me.
Without him I’ll die.

Tsongas unchallenged.
No real right wing contenders.
I’d like her to leave.

Leave Paint Man alone.
Drunks are killing your children.
Aim your hate wisely.

Get over Jenner.
Who cares about bathroom use?
None of your business.

Fund Planned Parenthood.
They do more than abortions.
Respect privacy.

One hundred percent.
Tax rate we’ll get from Sanders.
Possibly higher.

Sound Off


Kids today don’t care.
Gonna kill us old drivers.
Thinking they’re special.

Drug addicts get off.
Brady remains suspended.
Picture is crooked.

Stop the name calling.
Romney was good to that dog.
Hillary’s just mean.

Left wing is biased.
Ignores all faults on their side.
Some way worse than Trump.

Two philosophies:
One says earn and one says take.
Free spirits are earned.

Fancy pocketbooks.
Used to hold EBT cards.
An obvious fraud.

Solar energy.
Just another business plan.
Costs will match others.


Texting while driving.
West coast cracks down and saves lives.
Example now set.

Big arrows ignored.
Laws should reflect how things are.
Vote with your actions.

Socialism bad.
Trump is a conservative.
Not a plutocrat.

Benghazi and stuff.
Planned Parenthood something something.
I hate that black guy.

9-1-1 language.
English is good for most folks.
We should all learn it.

9-1-1 language.
Dispatcher assigned Lawrence.
Should be bilingual.

9-1-1 language.
Big country needs common voice.
Y’awl knows I right.

9-1-1 language.
With all due respect you’re wrong.
Bilinguals needed.

Other countries’ rules:
Learn the language or suffer.
They should have studied.

Tiger Woods is done.
Golf is a younger man’s game.
It always has been.

Workers live in fear.
Survey shows the Doctor to blame.
School Board doesn’t care.


No magic coming.
Language barrier is real.
Ideals don’t matter.

Left is socialist.
No moderates on that side.
Only extremists.

Goodell’s a coward.
Afraid to do the right thing.
Caves in to owners.


People hate their phones.
Hillary and Tom Brady.
Suspend her four years.

Michael Christian helped.
I didn’t know why Trump sucks.
Blanks are now filled in.

Enough name calling.
Show Trump respect he deserves.
Only babies do that.

Got rid of smoking.
But replacing it with weed.
Smoke still kills your lungs.

Old folks learned English.
Why can’t the new immigrants?
Phone trees annoy me.


Can’t use library as church.
Glad they got turned down.

Can’t adopt a dog.
Shelter is asking too much.
Would like a new friend.

Hillary Clinton.
Let’s reopen Alcatraz.
Throw away the boat.

Socialism works.
Billionaires live in Sweden.
Learn your history.

Democrats hate Trump.
He controls the dialogue.
Says what needs saying.

Back Off in #Haiku. July 27th-August 1st, 2015




George and his bucket.
Voted against improvements.
Hypocrite vandal.

Tax man gets letters.
Too many to sign receipts.
Not sure they got mine.

Brown’s versus Markey’s.
A war we’ll never see end.
Both sides are valid.

Olympics now gone.
More money for an old bridge.
We’ve gotten to it.


Monuments are nice.
But not really practical.
Business should come first.

Issue was addressed.
Though he skipped normal process.
Reward work ethic.

Speed limits vary.
Regardless of road issues.
Speeders pay no heed.

Anonymous calls.
Sometimes you spot who they are.
Agendas are known.


Olympic failure.
Hacks looking to stay busy.
Who will pay Deval?

Crowdfunder for George.
Help to pay the fines he got.
And buy him more paint.

Official neglect.
Brought to light by one man’s act.
Their response backfires.

Baseball fields empty.
Kids all inside with gadgets.
Stale air gives no life.

Granddaughter’s neclace.
Left behind in waiting room.
Thieves are all heartless.


Olympics now gone.
Our tradition will remain.
Fix the bridge yearly.

George distorted truth.
Center would be done by now.
Throw him out of town.

Folk Fest home viewing.
Wasn’t quite as good this year.
Had to go watch live.

Give unused sick time.
Big bonus at end of year.
No carry overs.

Got mail receipt back.
Taxman always reads his mail.
Postman lied to you.

Those guys lie a lot.
Don’t trust either him or her.
Only trust Donald.


Pipeline meeting planned.
Monday at Dracut Senior’s.
All are invited.

Young Methuen cop.
Saluted procession.
Very respectful.

Parking cost was high.
Fifteen dollars during fest.
Those greedy bastards.

Boards remain open.
Nobody wants the headaches.
Just the benefits.

Bad calls hurt teachers.
No protection made for them.
Jobs have gone away.

Trying to cross street.
Cars zoom by without a thought.
Drivers are the worst.

Sound Off


Trump’s a Roosevelt.
Speaks his mind with balls of steel.
What this country needs.

Jail’s for the lazy.
How else to explain dumb crooks?
They want to get caught.

You got the wrong bird.
Canaries aren’t parakeets.
The beaks are pointy.

Pedro Martinez.
Once beat up an older guy.
Jeter was better.

Big “No Swimming” sign.
Needed to discourage swimmers.
Hooks get stuck in trunks.

Kindergarten funds.
Cut to pay for big parties.
Leprechauns were fired.


Trump speaks only truth.
That is the source of his strength.
Don’t trust Obama.

Construction is loud.
Work begins in early morn.
I’m still hungover.

Trump was no Teddy.
Roosevelt was a good man.
Trump lacks refinement.

No sanctuary.
Illegal means illegal.
Fill out your papers.

Pedro Martinez.
Once beat up a crazed old man.
Jeter was better.

Brady should give up.
Take punishment like a man.
He’s no Donald Trump.

Bad drivers surround us.
You see them in ev’ry town.
Laws should be enforced.

Olympics not good.
We were right to reject them.
We weren’t gonna win.

Big left wing pipe dream.
But the right stood up this time.
Olympics are bad.

Reagan sold us out.
Don’t call him a patriot.
Shady ass mofo.

Selling baby parts.
How can you justify that?
Don’t call me crazy.

Truckers get louder.
Complaints to city ignored.
Worse that kids racing.

They’re all criminals.
Just by being on this land.
Arrest or deport.

Back Off in #Haiku. July 20-25th, 2015


[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also… I’ve been doing this for a year now. I know because next to me is a cinder block wall with little chalk markings. Five markings. Seven markings. Five markings. Over and over again. If I were a wrestler I would steal Rey Mysterio’s finishing move and rename it the 575. Someday I’ll move to New Mexico. Guess what their area code is. Maybe someday I’ll have children. A big family. Five girls. Seven boys. Five dogs. For now though I’m just going to relax. I’ll try to enjoy the Lowell Folk Festival (Five klezmer bands. Seven gospel bands. Five zydeco bands].

Sound Off


“Think before you speak.”
A concept unknown to Trump.
Rev brain before mouth.

Iran Contra deal.
Can’t blame Obama for that.
But you’ll prob’ly try.

Fake grassroots support.
Tries to sell us on cheap fuel costs.
Product exported.

Need more cameras.
Use them to catch litterers.
Big Brother’s room’s messy.

Haverhill’s a big city.
Can be hard to keep it clean.
Crack down on litter.

Casinos are watched.
Ev’ry inch strongly guarded.
Money won’t escape.

Boston casinos.
New Hampshire plates in the lot.
Why we need to build.


Sewer rate increase.
An annual occurrence.
Leaders should be dropped.

One big distraction.
Please step down when indicted.
Common procedure.

Wars are not a plot.
These people want to kill us.
Life is expensive.

Small town casino.
Couple thousand slot machines.
Nothing too fancy.

Blood on their hands.
For all who want Iran deal.
We lose ev’rything.


No sanctuary.
Immigrants are dangerous.
Too many victims.

Trump’s service record.
Got a student deferment.
Don’t think he learned much.

Space exploration.
Costs billions for Pluto pics.
Cancer’s still a thing.

Comic made a joke.
Said something like what Trump said.
Don’t vote for Chris Rock.

Small baby pipeline.
It won’t hurt anybody.
Coochy coochy coo.

Carbon monoxide.
You might want to learn about that.
Ventilation helps.


Republicans failed.
Obama did ev’rything.
That’s why we need Trump.

Don’t talk to the guy.
Keep Trump out of all debates.
Hell with that scumbag.

We want honesty.
Even if it’s from a nut.
Candidates should learn.

Don’t raise minimum.
Go after deadbeat fathers.
Jail ’em till they pay.

No sanctuary.
Get deportations caught up.
Too many felons.

Electric bill down.
Now they want to make changes.
Don’t touch a damn thing.


Gas grill burned a house.
The Chief should educate folks:
Check your connections.

Root problem is cost.
Insurance just makes things worse.
Prices are crazy.

No sanctuary.
Take away their licenses.
Drive them out of town.

“Death to USA.”
Why are we dealing with him?
At least he’s honest.

Nepotistic cops.
Thought we had laws against that.
Who will enforce it?

Manager resigned.
“Private sector pays better.”
They didn’t want him.

Swapping addictions.
Vaping replaces smoking.
Better off stopping.


Quran says shed blood.
Muslim leaders stay quiet.
Nature of their faith.

Trump is an asshole.
I agree with him a lot.
But he shouldn’t run.

Trophy wife t-shirt.
Target won’t carry that one.
Girls hate comedy.

Trump speaks the truth.
Nobody else has the balls.
McCain’s a pussy.

Planning board corrupt.
Bend like pretzels for builders.
Won’t return my calls.



Gov’s buds got a raise.
Minimum wage remains low.
Think I’ve heard this one.

Trump knows what to do.
Send the illegals back home.
They don’t belong here.

No black officers?
I know it’s a small city.
But can we fix that?

North shore casino.
Mayor micromanaging.
Just let them build it.

Where the house burned down.
Let’s turn it into a park.
Plant a few flowers.

The Prez on vacay.
He’s almost as bad as Bush.
Tell him to stay there.

Loser overpaid.
Common sense remains absent.
Disgust strongly felt.


Increase minimum.
Happy workers work harder.
No one will close shop.

Methadone mothers.
Blocked from clinic after fight.
They still need treatment.

Identity thieves.
Millions of our people hacked.
They want to be us.


They’re laughing at us.
All over these six fine states.
Take your paint and leave.

Paying folks to quit.
After they screw up big time.
I can do that job.

Aramark composts.
Cooked food can’t be donated.
Violates health codes.

Right wing policies.
Too much in common with Greece.
How are they doing?

The Klan likes bed sheets.
Are we banning those now too?
Wahhh wahhh sniff sniff wahhhhhhh.

Balance the budget.
Budgets need to be balanced.
I’d like it balanced.


Not a good painter.
Didn’t use right kind of paint.
They make a street paint.

Painter guy should move.
Our town needs some landscaping.
George, come to Dracut.

Help is illegal?
Donated work and supplies.
Things weren’t getting done.

Trials are costly.
Let that lady pay for it.
Watch it disappear.

No sanctuary.
Illegals are illegal.
And no cake for gays.


No fights in clinics.
Seems pretty reasonable.
Help was rejected.

Start with the sidewalks.
Then worry about rail trails.
Safety should come first.

I don’t like those guys.
Resumes overstated.
Just a couple hacks.

Back Off in #Haiku. July 13th-20th, 2015


[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been].



Wasteful Aramark.
Throwing away leftovers.
I’ll take some of that.

Taxes increasing.
Selectman says we’re stronger.
My stomach weakens.

Day after The 4th.
Red Solo cups ev’rywhere.
Drunkards have no pride.

Clothing for students.
Distribution could improve.
Closets are all full.

Where should I donate?
Info not in article.
Google this you jerk.

Cops now shoot to kill.
Even against kids with toys.
Slopes are slippery.

Big Papi Ortiz
All he ever does is whine.
More like Big Baby.

Please drop Aramark.
Why should we babysit them?
Show some discipline.

Fake IRS calls.
Harassing me day and night.
Caller ID helps.


Big cars in projects.
How can they afford those things.
See it ev’ry day.

Festival parking.
Will the meters be enforced?
Folks will hate that shit.

False transparency.
Won’t let me make random calls.
’cause I “don’t know names.”

Callers still calling.
Block only blocks thirty of them.
Robots have no souls.

‘T’ is for ‘taxes.’
That’s not good enough for me.
Monsters should keep out.

We need abortions.
Also lethal injections.
I really hate kids.

July 18th

Rain falls on math books.
Lights flicker as tiles crumble.
A roof needs repair.

Give gum to squirrels.
They get upset and move on.
A yard is peaceful.

Orange flag should stay.
Reminder of the fallen.
They were brave traitors.

Site of deadly fire.
Leave it as a vacant lot.
Let them rest in peace.

Hands should stay on wheel.
Texters are worse than drunkards.
Our state falls behind.

Pedestrians failed.
Crossing streets without looking.
Don’t harass drivers.

Sound Off


Civil action suit.
Just another big phone scam.
Won’t give their info.

Orange flag came down.
I guess racism is gone.
I’m gonna get bored.

The flag didn’t kill.
So stop hurting it’s feelings.
There there little flag…

Be fair to people.
Judge each on their own actions.
Families argue.

Teacher contract fight.
They’ll win eventually.
Just bend over now.

Don’t blame the last guy.
Been hearing that for eight years.
Or maybe sixteen.

Cops did what they could.
But it’s Lawrence on The 4th.
People are morons.


Small town lost power.
Car hit a telephone pole.
Old folks missed their shows.

Crooked officials.
Only exist in our town.
Break out the pitchforks.

Your mess will kill us.
Not to mention it’s ugly.
The whole world scares me.

Kids might steal shovels.
Hit folks with Garden Weasels.
We see ev’rything.

Dangerous eyesores.
Laws should protect us from you.
You clearly need help.

No recovery.
Such things make themselves known.
This one is hiding.

Dems first raised that flag.
Hated Civil Rights movement.
Just like I still do.

Roads are improving.
Losing things to bitch about.
Feelings confuse me.

Bad time to cut troops.
More enemies than ever.
Bad calls have been made.


Rose is a scumbag.
Doesn’t belong in The Hall.
That place is sacred.

Teachers came up short.
Small raises over right years.
Not breaking the bank.

Hang your silly flag.
Just not on public buildings.
Even Jeb knows that.

Casinos bring crime.
Give nothing back in return.
Better luck next time.

Your party’s corrupt.
Stop pointing fingers this way.
Our crook’s a good guy.


You are not oppressed.
Gays now have equality.
That means they’re equal.

They had chemicals.
The UN reports proved that.
Those kill large masses.

Dumb constitution.
Giving scum free legal help.
We’re paying for that.

Slow down garbage trucks.
Their accidents are the worst.
College would solve that.

“Bring your son to work.
And give his dumb ass a job.”
-Methuen PD

We The People pay.
To defend Bulger and worse.
Lawyers love this scam.


People rescued shark.
My hat goes off to them all.
Seals are ungrateful.

Try to stay on topic.
We know you hate Obama.
But litter is bad.

Blame the KKK.
The flag should keep on flying.
Can’t change history.

They should all feel shame.
The guy won’t even step down.
A town embarrassed.

Not against their pay.
Just think process takes too long.
Stop dragging things out.


Crime overstated.
Casinos would bring sunshine.
Not tattoo parlors.

Remains innocent.
Proof of guilt not provided.
Put away your robe.

Let them fight their wars.
Don’t give them our resources.
Stop the war racket.

Obama dodges.
Ignores military’s thoughts.
Handpicks reporters.

Sewer and water.
Rates increasing yet again.
Nothing is maintained.



Back Off in #Haiku. 6/29-7/4/2015


[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been].



They’re a one-trick pony.
Beating the same old dead horse.
Ride into sunset.

Confederate flag.
Important part of our past.
Let’s just learn from it.

The White House is ours.
Obama only lives there.
Tennants have no rights.

Old farm equipment.
I don’t see any appeal.
Horrible parade.

Sacred Heart condos.
Why would the church allow this?
Ugliness abounds.

Elections divide.
Board of Selectmen proves this.
Harmony unseen.

Pothole location.
Right road but wrong city.
Lowell’s looking good.


Olympics will cost.
Just another scam on us.
Overpriced party.

No one cared before.
But one little massacre…
Let them keep their flag.

Trump would be better.
Can’t be worse than Obama.
Trust him completely.


Try hitting adults.
That doesn’t go over well.
But you can hit kids.

Clean up sewer grates.
There’s a parade Saturday.
I want them sparkling.

Meter maids will rule.
24/7 empire.
No to Olympics.

The Prez shouldn’t preach.
My ancestors owned no slaves.
Shove your ‘redemption.’

Potholes all repaired.
Old asphalt chunks still on side.
Please get rid of those.


Confederate flag.
Hung upon a black statue.
Should have kept it there.

She tore down the flag.
Sure it was vandalism.
But it should have stayed.

‘Tilted Kilt’ opens.
Like ‘Hooters’ but with good food.
Makes us look seedy.

Police called my house.
Said they have to measure it.
Might not be the case.

More housing for vets.
Glad to see them developed.
Thanks to all involved.

Driver’s license fees.
Miscellaneous small costs.
That’s somebody’s job.

Squirrels moved away.
We used to like feeding them.
No one wants my nuts.

Return your barrels.
The trucks have all come and gone.
Wind blows empty bins.


Fireworks came early.
Could have waited ’til Friday.
Work in the morning.

Selectboards vary.
The last one wasn’t that good.
Power gets tripped on.

Home inspection scam.
I’m not letting anyone in.
Just unwarranted.

Home inspectors thing.
I’ll need to see some ID.
Doors remain locked shut.

Stay out of my house.
Measure outside if you want.
You’re not invited.

Sound Off


Graveyard has “ghost walks.”
Offensive to all Christians.
Spirits have left us.

No “recovery.”
The media lies to us.
No truth remaining.

Information signs.
The digital roadside ones.
Glad we have those now.

No Charleston riots.
I’m very impressed with that.
The bar is set high.

I read the paper.
It always makes me sadder.
Going back to bed.

Democrats are bad.
Gave us abortion and worse.
Unholy sleazebags.

Iraq invasion.
Wasn’t ’bout 9/11.
Saddam was no Dude.

Death penalty costs.
Nothing but a legal scam.
Life remains cheaper.


Transparency’s gone.
A country for lobbyists.
Blaming the voters.

Junior High graduates.
Organized ceremony.

Rockets getting lost.
Millions of dollars wasted.
Let’s explore oceans.

We deserve a say.
Micromanagement unites.
Don’t shoo us away.


Mayor hates yard sales.
City has bigger issues.
Big picture blurry.

Voting for raises.
Claiming that they work so hard.
All they ever do.

Bring back firing squads.
Make it all fancy and shit.
Not painful at all.

Highways are noisy.
Trees and barriers required.
A problem widens.

Sixty apartments.
On a two-acre parcel.
Just not realistic.

Back Off in #Haiku. 6/22-27/2015




The word ‘positive.’
Means ‘believed true’ and ‘hopeful.’
Word play can be fun.

Concerns ‘ bout Muslims.
Written in a nice letter.
Worthy of a job.

Potholes near town line.
Management has been informed.
Repairs coming soon.

No plans for leasing.
I save up and buy with cash.
No car ads for me.


Good luck to Marty.
My kids are proud alumni.
Hard work acknowledged.

Please freeze tuition.
Management steals the future.
Can’t take it with you.

Leave the flag alone.
It didn’t kill nine people.
Crazy red neck did.

Cheap shit unwanted.
A store will not stay for long.
Our town looks ugly.


Lucas is funny.
Hillary-Brady column.
Some of his best work.

Bloodbath on Thursday.
Vote for racist on Friday.
Sad state of affairs.

Only Jesus saves.
Come to him if you want life.
He will end it all.

Michelle Malkin’s blog.
Thank-you for publishing it.
I agree with her.


Civil War motive.
Fought to preserve the Union.
Not for slavery.

Brag ‘ bout honesty?
Makes me trust you that much less.
No to Olympics.

Encourage doctors.
We want them to open shop.
No more dollar stores.

New traffic pattern.
Dumps cut-throughs into the mix.
Clusterfuck made worse.

Big Papi won’t run.
I’d like to see some hustle.
No matter his age.

Varnum Avenue.
Ambulance rides are bumpy.
Repairs needed now.


Olympics wasteful.
Eileen Donohue knows this.
Better things to do.

Two-lane fast food joint.
Disaster in the making.
If we speed things up.

Lucas is loopy.
Sanders isn’t his uncle.
That’s just crazy talk.

Raise minimum wage.
Help those fighting poverty.
The Prez can do this.

Sound Off


Trump is a dick.
Vulgar and can’t take a joke.
Far too arrogant.

Climates always change.
That’s simply part of nature.
Don’t blame pollution.

Send Trump to Cancun.
Then build a wall around him.
Morally bankrupt.

State police helping.
Fewer drivers being bad.
Improving commute.

The Left is greedy.
Make millions and give nothing.
Total hypocrites.

Too many sports teams.
Talent pool gets watered down.
Some teams won’t impress.


Can’t afford taxes?
Move to a cheaper city.
Or hold a bake sale.

Stop blaming the flag.
Don’t use if for agendas.
The kid was just sick.

New law is ignored.
Perhaps better to repeal.
Time to just give up.

LeBron good for now.
But nothing next to Russell.
Product watered down.

Corporate welfare.
Not for outside companies.
Locals would be fine.


Motorcycle noise.
Doesn’t really save riders.
Just makes people deaf.

Oligarchs rule us.
We no longer have a say.
Get it together.

Methuen traffic.
This council won’t improve things.
Scaring customers.

Qualified people.
Might reside in other towns.
Don’t fault them for that.


It was religion.
Bomber boy was a Muslim.
Don’t blame terrorists.

Meetings take too long.
Too many stupid questions.
Elect smarter folks.

New laws come and stay.
We should be more flexible.
Admit when we’re wrong.

Elderly housing.
Climate control is tricky.
Problem to resolve.

Immigration laws.
I’d like to see those enforced.
Lawrence won’t do this.

Death penalty costs.
Prob’ly less than the manhunt.
Cons had it easy.

Obamacare won.
The Right still offers nothing.
Glad we’re all covered.

Obamacare hurts.
Only lobbyists like it.
They gave us NAFTA.

Bomber Boy’s people.
We did kill a lot of them.
A point has been made.

Goodell takes too long.
NFL fans want to know.
Drama inflated.

VA in the red.
Maybe we need fewer vets.
That means fewer wars.


Back Off in #Haiku June 15-20th, 2015


Back Off in #Haiku June 15-20th, 2015

[Please note: I just don’t care about Lawrence this week. Screw them. If anybody wants to read the Eagle Tribune and post your haiku in the comments section either here or on Facebook please do. Also using ‘Trumps’ as a one-syllable word meaning ‘restroom’ was a contest. I won.]



Taxes pay MassHealth.
Methadone wastes our money.
Socialist tax cheats.

Brandon’s Mercedes.
Paint streaks and finger prints there.
Scooby can stay home.

Christian Hill trees gone.
Nowhere left for birds to nest.
Birds aren’t shortsighted.

There goes neighborhood.
Dollar store brings us nothing.
New Hampshire’s right there.

Red lights can save lives.
That’s the reason we have them.
You won’t be that late.


Dracut trash service.
Fails to pick up large items.
Ignoring my calls.

Niki Tsongas fought.
Stood against party platform.
Kind of like her now.

Doctor David Smith.
Dedicated professional.
Sad to hear he passed.

Welfare Cheaters Beach.
I know this because I… I…

Dracut City Hall.
Looks like a POW camp.
This amuses me.

Neighborhood take back.
Hunt down those littering creeps.
Report their asses.


Trees provided shade.
The river path is naked now.
Too hot for my pole.

Gave me motor oil.
That angel of Tyngsboro.
Your wings have been earned.

Gender-neutral Trumps.
Urinals in ladies’ room?
Someone please tell me!

Invade privacy.
Tell me about their families.
Inquiring mindless.


Worse than the Big Dig.
Raised sewer caps everywhere.
Glad there’s no traffic.

Funny article.
Donald Trump and Kate Jenner.
Merkins everywhere!

Vote thru the telly.
School department on parade.
Show us the bastards.

US treasury.
Does anyone have their ear?
I have ideas.

Inspections performed.
Town manager should know that.
Oversight lacking.


Low-bid contractors.
Then they add stuff when you’re stuck.
Dilbert covered this.

I agree with him.
Except on death penalty.
Let the bastards rot.

Rubio’s no threat.
Her own biography is.
That’s just Hillary.

Lock up Donald Trump.
He’s crazier than his hair.
Cashmere straitjacket.

Vote for Eleanor.
Put Roosevelt on the ten.
She helped veterans.

Supporting Niki.
Helluva kick ass job there.
Love that fuggin’ chick.

Andover Road help.
Flat tire by cemetery.
Big thanks owed to you.

Salary increase.
Matching tuition increase?
Kind of hate that school.

Radar on one ten.
I drive that road ev’ryday.
Stop harassing me.

Back Off in #Haiku. June 8th-13th, 2015


[Please note: In memory of Dusty Rhodes I kindly ask that you read all of these in his voice. ]

Sound Off.


Ramblin’ bout the gays.
They don’t deserve equal rights.
Hippy Christ said so.

Libertarians and more.
Vote for status quo.

Change both of your names.
Bruce Jenner ain’t a Jenner.
Dicks make families.

Bus driver texting.
Time to face our addictions.
Organize Meet Ups.

[Timberlane School stuff.
More corruption and scandals.
Something ‘ bout Dora]


Unemployment facts.
Those who gave up aren’t counted.
Nor are Walmart jobs.

Obamacare scam.
All your rates are going up.
You’ve all been hoodwinked.

Socialist Sanders.
He wears that label proudly.
We’re not name calling.

Pot heads will kill us.
The roads will be a nightmare.
Our children are doomed.

High school softball team.
Great year from good role models.
Good luck to the grads.

Hillary’s my choice.
Everyone else is clueless.
There is no contest.


The Prez sold us out.
We’re part of a union now.
That sonovabitch.

Big Bird taught Spanish?
He also taugh history.
Close schools completely.

Welfare fraud exists.
Good luck studying that shit.
I busted my butt.

Eight Dunkin Donuts.
Not one single gallery.
Haverhill ain’t that great.

DOMA overturned.
Only one part of it though.
Story incomplete.

Pot heads drive slower.
Denver says car deaths are down.
Crime rates also dropped.


Ain’t cops’ job to teach.
Parents should warn kids ’bout drugs.
It’s your fault they’re dead.

Hillary Benghazi.
That chick should be in prison.
Clinton is the new black.

We all pay FICA.
Don’t talk like it’s charity.
Screw the illegals.

Bad drivers abound.
Cutting me off politely?
There ain’t no such thing.

Just don’t join ISIS.
They’re like a really bad cult.
Worse than Juggalos.


EBT card fraud.
Way underestimated.
Tight controls needed.

Sox fan hit by bat.
MLB should cover all costs.
Skip the fundraiser.

Clinton killed no one.
The Right cut security.
But enemies killed.

The buck stops at home.
Teach your kids heroin kills.
Learn how to parent.

Loud bike are outlawed.
None of this “One Percent” stuff.
They’re all criminals.

Some drivers are slow.
They deserve to get cut off.
Modern life moves quick.


Monday, June 8, 2015

Big charges pending.
Remove from active duty.
Think it through a bit.

Triple-decker stands.
Supposed to be demolished.
Law still unenforced.

Man up and clean up.
Cemeteries need mowing.
No more excuses.

New Hampshire business.
One hundred dollars to start.
Mass wants five times that.

I know where you live.
Your yard sale sign is still up.
I’m coming for you.

Make a living off children.
Teachers should as well.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Use private flagmen.
Free up the cops for real stuff.
Plus they’re much cheaper.

Adult-ed staff and students.
A terrific place.

Biker gangs remain.
Three men killed in western Mass.
Good article though.

Hernandez dressed well.
Shouldn’t be be in orange?
Killer fashion sense.

Stop crying poor mouth.
The school bought Marty Meehan.
Overpriced beggar.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Dropped Spike pretty quick.
Should have waited for trial.
That would have been fair.

Congrats Bernie Lynch.
You were an asset to us.
Darkness finds us now.

Town Hall unfinished.
Doesn’t give us confidence.
Businesses scared off.

MassHealth pays for rides.
Old folks get federal care.
Stop blaming addicts.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Wrong pick got the job.
Should have gone with the youngster.
Regret fill find you.

Political stuff.
That’s why they picked who they did.
It’s all politics.

Lots of repaving.
Glad to see it getting done.
Don’t forget my street.

Dollar Store coming.
Being built on old farm land.
Wish someone told us.

Meehan runs this town.
School does more than the Council.
Make it official.

Paving blocked our lots.
Customers couldn’t get in.
Towns should plan better.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Some bills must be payed.
Social Security’s small.
Grandchildren need help.

Kerry stayed a week.
We would have gotten two days.
Fairness is lacking.

Franchise Fee increase.
Is the city responsible?
Seems like a ripoff.

Merging on the bridge.
A woman straddles both lanes.
Her own mystery.

Blaming the parents.
Hide your children in basements.
That’s where they’ll be safe.

Speeders on Wentworth.
School and city bus drivers.
Limit is thirty.

Two escaped inmates.
Media covers search team.
Cons might be watching.

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Tuition increase.
Lower it by cutting pay.
Start with professors.

Where is your business?
Your ad doesn’t mention this.
Might be important.

Circus metaphor.
City Council loaded with clowns.
Nothing but an act.

Money slips away.
300 million to Greece.
Attention lacking.

Traffic and parking.
A challenge in good weather.
Problem to address.


Back Off in #Haiku. June 1-6, 2015


[Please note: Friday night/Saturday morning I decided to call in sick for this job. A couple of friends picked up my slack and they’re given credit. Remember: they’re just translators/messengers. Don’t shoot them.]

Backtalk: 6/1/2015

Donate all your time.
It’s what we expect of you.
Private sector does.

Peals on the sidewalk.
Staple of old slapstick flicks.
Keep that off my lawn.

Why they say “lucked out”?
Luck is what you fell into.
Confusion sets in.

Alien nation
Stealing billions of my cash
Come work for me now
~S Jacque Antonaccio

Backtalk: 6/2/2015
(by Felicia Sullivan)

Three police officers
One Mammoth Road hole to watch
Three too much me thinks

Bad pet owner’s fault
Courts too packed because of them
Give Chelmsford a break

Property eyesore
Dracut Manager should fine
Too much dough needed

Greedy teachers, yes
They don’t care for Dracut’s kids
Cash is all they want

Irish approve gay marriage
cuts off nose to spite their faith
Broken vows I say

You have a narrow mind
Dracut moralist. I say
To be open is good.

Backtalk 6/3/15.
(back to Ratbas)

Prez doesn’t listen.
That’s why advisers won’t stay.

Military shoes.
Why aren’t they made locally?
Troops should support us.

Event was well-run.
Cancer walk went perfectly.
Totally impressed.

Outsourcing issues.
Aramark cleaners stole stuff.
Not really surprised.

Pay cops like doctors.
Without them we’re pretty screwed.
Same goes for teachers.

Backtalk: 6/4/2015

Leave Jenner alone.
That’s no one’s business but their’s.
Go find some real news.

Not that impressive.
Milton Berle also dressed up.
As well as Hoover.

Not really a cop.
You chase dogs for a living.
Get over yourself.

Big unemployment.
50 million on food stamps.
Prez says it’s all good.

Shelter is picky.
Only taking brand new clothes.
Tags need to be on.

Give him a minute.
He needs to find out something.
That’s funny to me.

Get a Trojan horse.
Put it in the park on North.
Good use for the park.

Natural gas cost.
Major reductions soon here.
National Grid sucks.

Took my kids away.
Gave them to a couple drunks.
Screw you DCF.

Backtalk: 6/5/2015

Lost my cleaning job.
Aramark guys stealing shit?
Laughing my ass off.

No Olympics here.
Transit system is a joke.
Just can’t handle it.

Finish construction.
I’m sure it’s a nice building.
Dirt piles block the view.

Girls helped our parade.
Little ones holding the signs.
Just adorable.

Don’t care if they’re kids.
Armed punks broke into my place.
Public shaming now.

John Kerry’s tough break.
I have a clever joke here:
He used training wheels.

Backtalk: 6/6/2015

Should have got the job.
I just don’t understand it.
He seemed qualified.

TV in my trash.
Somebody else put it there.
I’m gonna get fined.

Concord River bridge.
Need one for pedestrians.
Help them cross over.

Guessing it’s your kid.
You’re prob’ly a bad parent.
Good job DCF.

Drugs are expensive.
Seniors going without meds.
But addicts get them.

Sound Off

Monday, June 1, 2015

Heimlich maneuver.
Now called “Abdominal thrusts.”
Saved my husband’s life.

Can’t trust Hillary.
Family of corruption.
Voters’ denial.

Can we skip the drunks?
Don’t have to publish all posts.
Ramblers ruin it.

Free up tax money.
Abandon the freeloaders.
Stop taxing the rich.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Wish Hillary turned Right.
Then the press would attack her.
Lib’ral media.

The bomber boys.
Wasn’t about religion.
Didn’t bomb a church.

Temporary bridge.
What they need down in Cape Cod.
Say 14 lanes wide.

Charity at home.
Benefit for fallen cops?
Doesn’t help my town.

Privatize transit.
We don’t need transparency.
More shitty temp jobs.

I’m a Democrat.
But I love Mike Huckabee.
Stood up for Duggar.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

I lost my wallet.
Folks delivered to my door.
Wish I got your name.

That new hands-free law.
Why bother with casinos?
Big dough just from that.

John Kerry’s medals.
Don’t give him one for his leg.
Didn’t earn his Hearts.

Socialist Sanders.
Not in my America.
Go back to Vermont.

Back Off in #Haiku. 5/25-30th/15


Backtalk: 5/27/2015

Blaming Obama.
Alt universe World War 2.
Respect the fallen.

Cemetery lawn.
Unmowed with leaves still present.

Weeds among tombstones.
Visitors ignoring blight.
Call in the bishops.

Tom isn’t in jail.
No sense trying to free him.
Move on with your lives.

Damn you Ireland.
Turning your back on the faith.
Where were the voters?

Backtalk: 5/28/2015

Trash fee proposal.
Money goes to school teachers.
They’re unqualified.

Global climate change.
Prez believes that’s the big threat.
I believe he is.

Officials grab balls.
They do this after each play.
Kind of makes me cough.

Cameo Diner.
35 years on Lakeview.
Go try an omelette.

Crosswalk near Dunkin’s.
Out by Dutton and Fletcher.
Add it to the plan.

Trapped in voice mail hell.
Only to find they’ve shut down.
Please say it sooner.

IRS is fine.
Nothing needs any fixing.
You’ll only break it.

Backtalk: 5/29/2015

Flags on their markers.
More important to our vets.
Don’t bitch ’bout the lawn.

’twas a bad winter.
Snow high as a giraffe’s arse.
Long recovery.

Saint Joseph’s looks good.
They weed whacked around the stones.
Very respectful.

Why own the bridges?
Sure they’re our infrastructure.
But they’re expensive.

You still can’t park there.
Shuttle spots aren’t parking spots.
Even after six.

Lock ATM door.
Makes it harder to rob folks.
Common sense to me.

Backtalk: 5/30/2015

Parade of sadness.
Only the drummer playing.
But traffic ran smooth.

Lexicon evolves.
Old words fall into disuse.
Changes come slowly.

Dog license issues.
Wasting the time of judges.
Drop the eye exam.

Spoilers would be nice.
Future caught me off my guard.
Changes I can’t make.

“Do not call” I said.
Signed up for that more than once.
Bastards have no souls.

Sound Off. Tuesday.

“Liberal bias”?
More like distancing itself.
The guy’s a scumbag.

Meter fee increase.
That will clear up the traffic.
No one will come here.

Dead boats are allowed.
But put liens for unmowed lawns.
Nothing but logic.

Killing is just wrong.
Not arguing about the cost.
That’s just counterpoint.

Losing discipline.
Drivers all act entitled.
And they look like bums.

Memorial Day.
Phillips Academy ran.
Too disrespectful.

Sound Off. Wednesday.

School greenhouse project.
Commendable idea.
But plastic scares me.

Wonderful turnout.
But couldn’t hear the speakers.
Amplified concerns.

One more committee:
The Committee Committee.
Creates committees.

Working on my boat.
I can do that in my yard.
Now mow your damn lawn.

Sound Off. Saturday.

Use stigma wisely.
Calling them “junkies” will help them.
Bad things should sound bad.

I hate your puppy.
Barking little shit machine.
Clean up after it.

Sanders and Clinton.
Right has two dozen losers.
Fresh blood would be nice.

Valuable art.
Why have it locked in a closet?
I’ll watch it for you.

Population growth.
All of it immigration.
We need more police.