Back Off in #Haiku June 2nd & 3rd 2017

[Please note: these poems are translated from phonecalls received and published by a newspaper with some dedicated reporters and some interesting readers. The translator is not responsible for whatever the original caller was trying to say].

Donnie says “pay up.”
That’s some good diplomacy.
Better than Capone.

Belvidere racist.
Only reason against Cawley.
It’s a pretty swamp.

Bank robbers don’t smile.
That’s the first thing they teach you.
Damn selfie addicts.

Courts should watch the news.
They’d see how right Donnie is.
Terrorists abound.

Donnie shoved a guy.
Like a halloween fat kid.
Teach him some manners.

Name all of the names.
Who is getting free health care?
Minds are enquiring.

Land without highways
Stealing companies from our town
This is a bad thing

Mercedes drivers
Keep riding free on MassHealth
All of them scammers

The Pope has a wall
Why can’t Donnie have a wall?
And a big white hat?

Eminent domain
Wrong on so many levels
I am against it

Nothing’s going right
Hamilton Canal a joke
Our schools are condemned

Empty streets all hours
There were crowds in the sixties
Vote all these bums out

Griffin went too far
What will other countries think?
Treat Donnie better

Simplify process
“Lowell High needs Principal”
Put that on Craig’s List

Car parked at night

Wrong side of road to nowhere

Fire trucks can’t zigzag

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Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 25, 2016

[Please note: these were translated from angry phonecalls which were transcribed by some poor bastard in the deep bowels of an old sweatshop. I performed these translations for close to two years before the redundancy of the task made me question many of the choices I’ve made in life. The process itself has enlightened me to the inner feelings and an awareness of the decrepitation process. I fear that soon I too, much like the callers, will be yearning for a day when I have a lawn so that I may yell at children to get off of it. This will never again be an every day thing, but sometimes pain helps to remind us. Happy Holidays.]

Stop crying you losers.
Donny won and time moves on
Never heard us whine.

Results cause sadness.
But solace comes from one source:
Trump won’t be my fault.

Medals of Freedom.
Given out like cheap candy.
Dignity comes soon.

Governor Baker:
“I’ll fight for sanctuaries.”
Voters move along.

I’m Republican.
Electoral College must go.
My Mass vote should count.

Learn English you punks.
You were born in this country.
No more excuses.

Donny’s little swamp.
His friends think it’s a hottub.
He’ll never drain it.

Back Off in #Haiku. March 10thish, 2016.

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

For way more haiku please buy the ebooks at http://www.Ratbas.com .]

Broken promises
Both parties give us nothing.
Trump won’t let us down.

Loud children must stop.
Get your brats under control.
Screams are unpleasant.

Let your children out.
Trapped in houses night and day.
No wonder they scream.

Over cliff of doom.
Into river of peril.
Clinton laughs watching.

Trump’s critics are blind.
All of them support Clinton.
Let’s skip primaries.

Back Off in #Haiku. Wednesday Feb 24, 2016

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also I’ve cut back on the number of poems appearing here but there are plenty in the books. Books now come out monthly for $2.99 at http://www.Ratbas.com ]

Jailed for dog license.
Chelmsford’s really getting strict.
Don’t even live there.

Military school.
Not really military.
Trump exaggerates.

Pay some attention.
He skipped someone’s funeral.
Busy killing us.

Appointing judges.
Don’t change rules to help your side.
Keep them to help mine.

Rattlesnake Island.
Strikes me as really stupid.
Snakes can fuggin’ swim.

Governor Baker.
Totally okay with snakes.
Lost his goddamn mind.

Snakes go after dogs.
Sometimes they might bite people.
Sam Jackson is pissed.

Trump is a RINO.
Don’t trust Rubio either.
Vote for the damn snakes.

Clinton tends to lie.
Couldn’t care less ’bout gender.
Just don’t trust the bitch.

Stop teacher’s union.
Performance levels are low.
Results would be nice.

Massholes came up here.
Voted in our primaries.
That’s how Clinton won.

Voter ID laws.
Would have helped Bernie Sanders.
You still against them?

Back Off in #Haiku. Feb 15-17th, 2016

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.
Also I’ll be cutting back on the number of poems appearing here but there will be plenty in the books: http://www.Ratbas.com  ]

Monday 2/15/16

Not a New York fan.
No Sanders, Clinton or Trump.
Values are preferred.

Voters aren’t that dumb.
Hillary lost for a reason:
New Hampshire wants more.

People on welfare.
Treat them all like criminals.
That should save money.

I have some known facts.
But only I know these things.
Common sense, people.

Thought diversity.
Not allowed in colleges.
Won’t teach my beliefs.

Voting’s serious.
Meet candidates and read up.
Then actu’ly vote.

Don’t vote in anger.
Trump and Sanders sound like change.
Both are impotent.

Tuesday 2/16/16

Replacing the judge.
They want next guy to do it.
Pretty transparent.

Obstruction tactics.
All Republicans give us.
Denying progress.

Pipeline was explained.
Information is useful.
I’m against it now.

Walkers are fearless.
Dare to leave homes and cross streets.
Only outlaws walk.

Money can’t buy love.
Trump would love to be The Prez.
He found the loophole.

Wednesday 2/17/16

ObamaCare works.
Critics offer nothing else.
Dems saved us from Bush.

Can’t police the world.
Now we look like broke bullies.
Prez made things better.

Jobs left the country.
That will make more Trump voters.
Though he did the same.

“Top secret info.”
Owner of info decides.
Clinton can’t shift blame.

Pretty good debates.
Both Dems want to fix it all.
Prez denies problems.

Ash Wednesday quicky.
Nothing wrong with quick ashings.
Judge not you dumb jerk.

Trumpets will follow.
Even when his mind changes.
Hypnotized by hair.

Back Off in #Haiku. Feb 8-11th, 2016.

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also I’ll be cutting back on the number of poems appearing here but there will be plenty in the books: http://www.amazon.com/Steve-Rat-Albert/e/B01AC1W0UY ]

Bernie on gun laws.
Voted the way Vermont likes.
Job done properly.

Clearly homicide.
I could have told you all that.
Who needs evidence?

Better than Donny.
That’s all Clinton has to be.
Not a real challenge.

Enough with ISIS.
They’re just a talking point now.
Move on to issues.

Commie or felon.
Or vote for Republicans.
Plenty to pick from.

Offensive cartoon.
Families don’t watch that guy.
Put it on later.

It’s not racism.
At least not in all cases.
Folks have other flaws.

Drop some candidates.
Rubio and Cruz to start with.
Let’s narrow things down.

Is there still a draft?
Your poll question says there is.
Pretty sure it’s gone.

I like Valentine’s.
Cheapskates might whine about it.
Lonely folks can rot.

I enjoy romance.
Some say that makes me sexist.
Chivalry should live.

Marco Rubio.
Attack ads against third place?
Trump and Cruz suck too.

True conservatives.
It’s possible for one to win.
Ignore the mainstream.

Hillary’s email.
Bad guys might want to see it.
Should protect it more.

Small group runs this town.
They ignore what voters want.
Unite the county.

Hillary critics.
Witch hunters are on the Right.
Berners to the Left.

Nun fled scene of crash.
Why’s this story newsworthy?
Leave God’s girl alone.

Tuesday Feb 9

Days without power.
Then the telephone went dead.
Zombies coming soon.

Zombies on their way.
Phone company doesn’t care.
Need better service.

Not the worse problem.
Plenty of houses look bad.
Way worse than trailers.

Cops seem entitled.
I know I’m new to these parts.
That’s just how it feels.

Voting for gender?
Race didn’t work out too well.
Try the Jewish guy.

She’s a survivor.
All the “scandals” and attacks.
Give her that at least.

Teddy said something.
Luckily he mentioned Trump.
That’s why I heard him.

No pay for snow days.
Labor Ready won’t do it.
Nor should the high school.

Do the job you have.
Folks campaign and ignore work.
Shouldn’t be that way.

Chris Christie forgot.
Fat guys don’t do marathons.
Understandable.

Carly got shut down.
Stood a good chance for a sec.
Then money came in.

Hillary has balls.
Running with all her baggage.
Accomplished nothing.

Obama Part 2.
What Hillary claims she’ll be.
How’s that a good thing?

Assisted living.
They charge a thousand a week.
Double what I made.

Let’s stop heroin.
Border Patrol can’t do it.
Bring in the big guns.

Wednesday Feb 10

No good candidates.
They’re all crazy or evil.
Democrats will win.

Kasich ain’t that bad.
But no chance of him winning.
Vote the socialist.

Small town newsletter.
Selectman takes all credit.
Sun rose anyway.

Never fed horses.
Might not have been abusive.
But won’t win my vote.

Torture terrorists.
Keep them alive to do so.
Good use of money.

Snow thrown into street.
Makes for a big slushy mess.
Oughta be a law.

Back Off in #Haiku. Feb 1-3, 2016

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspapers in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also I’ll be cutting back on the number of poems appearing here but there will be plenty in the books: http://www.amazon.com/Steve-Rat-Albert/e/B01AC1W0UY ]

Monday, Feb. 1, 2016

“Negro” ain’t allowed.
Made me switch to “black person.”
What’s wrong with “red man.”

Not President yet.
But he’s still taking control.
Trump blooms with brilliance.

She can get things done?
All she’s done is lose four men.
Not a good record.

Rita cheered for Trump.
All the endorsement he needs.
I vote based on cheers.

Hillary’s a crook.
Can’t let her back in that house.
She’ll steal more doorknobs.

My country has changed.
Immigrants won’t learn English.
School costs have risen.

My country has changed.
Recovery unlikely.
I pass in sadness.

School leaders made calls.
Reminding parents to meet.
How dare those bastards.

Tuesday, Feb. 2, 2016

Just men on school board.
Kim is running next April.
Balance draws closer.

Clinton’s email thing.
Two dozen were top secret.
Corruption is strong.

Isn’t just driving.
Don’t text while crossing the street.
OMMFG

Library worker.
Lost job she blamed for illness.
Now vindicated.

Movie ads are gone.
Another relic in dust.
Tell me what’s playing.

Don’t let Donny win.
If he does we know God died.
Prayers for His health.

Wednesday, Feb. 3, 2016

Pretty big college.
Buildings all over the place.
Not always a Ball.

Solutions are good.
Trump hasn’t offered any.
Leaders need those things.

I saw a movie.
It made Hillary look bad.
Vote for a lightweight.

Trump lost Iowa.
Spin will be adorable.
Insults will follow.

Canada looks nice.
Heading up there if Trump wins.
Help them build their wall.

Dirty politics.
Helped a store get a license.
Try not to shop there.

Hillary stands strong.
Despite all trumped up charges.
Track record proven.

Trump is immature.
Freaks out over nothing.
Spoiled and clueless.

Voting for Clinton.
Has electability.
Nobody else does.

Winter has been mild.
Will property taxes sink?
Saving on the plows.

Nobody blames dogs.
We blame lazy dog owners.
That shit is their job.

Replace dog catcher.
This one doesn’t have a clue.
They’re the one that bark.

Rest homes expensive.
Monthly payments keep rising.
Choose one carefully.

The Prez is racist.
Get him out of The White House.
Nosey SOB.