Look’et Roddy!

Look at him… the May-ah! He’s got to be the happiest guy in the league. Every picture he takes looks like he’s having a sexual experience. It really has been a pleasure (pun intended) watching this guy perform his duties. I hope he decides to run for Mayor again, because his ray of sunshine is intoxicating.

smiles4miles

Wicked Shitty? More like Wicked Awesome. Slainte!

IrishPub

Lowell Sun

LOWELL — After 81 years in business, Corey Belanger said it’s time for Majors Pub to reinvent itself.

Belanger, who has owned the downtown pub since 2001, and is just its third owner overall, recently announced that Major’s will change its name to Wicked Irish Pub n Grill later this year.

“We’re just changing with the times.” he said in a recent phone interview, adding that the bar for many years served blue-collar downtown workers from businesses such as Courier Corp. and Joan Fabric. “This place has a rich history, dating back to the Prohibition Era. But it’s time to gear up for the 21st century.

“We’re very excited. This is not an easy choice to make.”

Belanger said the bar will begin its transformation in early August, about a week after this summer’s Folk Festival.

“We’ll have a ‘Farewell to Majors’ week,” said Belanger, who was elected to the City Council last fall. He said the week will feature an auction of Majors replica, as well as other promotions and T-shirts.

I love it! Councilor Corey doing it big and giving all of us a taste of how great downtown can be if you just give him the keys. The Wicked Irish Pub and Grill. Fantastic! The only thing I can think of that is slightly less subtle would have been “Massholes Drink for Free Pub” or the “Mickey Wahd’s my Cousin Tavern.” And it makes sense. If you can’t get the stench of the Dubliner out of the floor boards (or the coke residue and the hookers out of the basement), the only logical thing is to hang a Tri-Color on the front door, stick a hurley behind the register, and add a bowl of piping hot Dinty Moore Stew to the menu aaaaannnndd…Failte! Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s The Wicked Irish Pub!
h/t to KPax.

New City Manager: A Real Mill City Cinderella Story

 

New Lowell City Manager Kevin Murphy (Center), with Chief Meehan and some unknown guy on the left.  Photo stolen from Jennifer Myers.

I understand this is the new Lowell City Manager Kevin Murphy (Center), with Chief Meehan and some unknown guy on the left celebrating Double Chin Day in 2013. Photo stolen from Jennifer Myers.

March Madness ended with a bang last night in the chambers of City Hall.  The field…nothing short of exceptional. As far as we know, at least 5 of the 30 candidates had most of their mental faculties.  The battle was fierce, the carnage was epic, and  in the end, one man was left standing.  But not just any man.  Not the man that 172 of 174 ESPN analysts had as their “locks.”  No, no!  What we got here is a bonafide Cinderella story.

A man named Murph.

Murph’s resume may not have been as prestigious as the Subway Sandwich Artist or as tailor made as the Columbian guy that failed to attend a Chilean flag raising.  But he lists his hometown as this place called “The Highlands”…which has yielded some of the greatest leaders this earth has ever seen…William Wallace, Robert the Bruce, Robin of Locksley, Pat Donovan of Van Greenby, to name a few.  That’s good enough for me.   I look forward to getting to know this guy a little better over the coming years…and as you can probably tell, “the pleasure is all on this side of the table.”

Mayor Elliott Absolutely Destroys the St Paddy’s Day Breakfast

ElliottCarrotTop

Shades of Richard Pryor and Sam Kinison in their prime.  Just eviscerating the room with comedic nukes.  At a certain point, the laughter was so uproarious that it kept knocking WCAP off the air between every masterful line.  Panos and Fontanella have some splain’n to do because those of us on the radio end just got awkward silences.  You’re better than that fellas.

…and how about this Coakley bird trying to big league our mayor?   She’s a day removed from “SHEMA” and all of a sudden she’s a Last Coming Standing judge?  I wonder what she said about Willie Lantigua during all those Lawrence St Paddy’s day breakfasts? 

What We’ve Learned: Lowell Politics March Madness Edition

Brackett

Lowell Sun

LOWELL — Three city councilors had all five of the applicants they selected to receive interviews chosen as finalists for the city manager’s position, according to the interview lists provided to The Sun Friday morning.

Here is whom each councilor selected as finalists:

Corey Belanger: Balukonis, Graczykowski, Keyes, Murphy, Ramirez

Mayor Rodney Elliott: Graczykowski, Keyes, Murphy, Ramirez

Ed Kennedy: Balukonis, Keyes, Murphy, Ramirez

John Leahy: Ramirez

Bill Martin: Graczykowski, Keyes, Murphy, Ramirez

James Milinazzo: Balukonis, Bruner, Keyes, Murphy, Ramirez

Rita Mercier: Balukonis, Keyes, Murphy, Ramirez

Dan Rourke: Keyes, Murphy, Ramirez

William Samaras: Balukonis, Bruner, Keyes, Murphy, Ramirez

What did we learn? We learned that you want to be in any March Madness pool that John Leahy’s in. I’m told by sources that he also had Boston College and Worcester State making it to the Sweet Sixteen, which would be impressive because I’m pretty sure Worcester State is in Division 3.

In fairness to Leahy though, at least he filled out his own bracket.

UPDATE: Who’s more butthurt than the Lowell Sun right now?

What We’ve Learned: Ned’s February 2014 Local Politics Update

GrapesMercier2

I suppose I’m a little late with my February updates, but it’s to be expected as I am a product of an underfunded school system.

Bill Samaris is dominating.  Seriously.  This guy is everywhere.   Council agendas. The Lowell Sun.  WCAP.  State of the Union addresses.  Throwing out first pitches.   Would somebody mind letting him know that this is not an election year?  Pace yourself, Billy boy!  You don’t want to pull a hammy.

I’m pretty sure we have a new City Manager. Congrats to Kevin Murphy on the well-deserved position.  First order of business is figuring out which properties to seize to add another 9-holes to Mt Pleasant.  I’m sure there will be a least one super long par 4 so all the members can have a sexual experience with one another every time they reach it in regulation.

Mayor Elliott is finally settling into a groove.  Council Meetings have finally settled into a nice flow.  We’re in, we’re out, no nonsense.  It’s like watching Mark Buehrle pitch… if Mark Buehrle kept a Mayor Murphy and Bernie Lynch voodoo doll in the dugout and was constantly leaving the mound to go stick pins in it.

Downtown Revitalization Starts and Ends with Mill No.5:  “The people of Lowell elected me because I know the difference between happy endings and great economic opportunity” is what I imagine Corey Belanger said after his now famous expedition with Grapes to snuff out discreet rub’n tugs in downtown mill complexes.  As it turns out, there’s this little project called Mill No.5 happening down there that nobody knew or heard about until now, thanks to Lewis and Clark.

As for the handjobs at Mill No.5, they’re probably not completely off the table but you’ll likely have to buy some artwork first.

The new Chief of Police is a Public Relations Tour de Force.  The City couldn’t look any better in the eyes of outsiders.  Images of gun battles and executions have faded to the background courtesy of a possible hooker who officially had too many Killer Millers.  Station morale is no doubt at an all-time high.  And as if there weren’t enough winners in this one; it looks like Mayor Elliott will most definitely be able to deliver on his campaign promise to hire new cops…anywhere from 3-5, I suppose.

Congrats to Councilor Grapes Mercier.  The only thing that I understood from what she was telling us last evening is that she recently adopted Dave Daly, and loves him like a son.  I’m pretty sure she thinks that he actually drives the ambulances.

Also, if you still wonder the reasons (not related to the 21st amendment) why Grapes tops the ticket every two years, take a look what she’s mustered since I last chimed in:

Scuttled a Library Board appointment. (Unsuccessfully)

Establish Guidelines on what the Mayoral portrait should consist of. (Pending I suppose).

Is inspecting every pane of glass in the city for safety.

Paved way for a garden on the Christian Hill Res.

Discovered this new place called Mill No.5.

Repainting parking lines for her faithful constituents at the Senior Center.

Diaboliical.