Back Off in #Haiku. 12/7-13/2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Monday

He’s just out of touch.
Climate change doesn’t kill folks.
Guys with guns do.

Fear is a good thing.
We need to spread more of it.
Better than Muslims.

Lines on roads fading.
Outlasted by need for them.
Make them immortal.

We call it “Chistmas.”
Kids don’t know who it’s named for.
Put that in your ads.

Police on Segways.
Riding up and down sidewalks.
Won’t let me do that.

Wednesday

Don’t be negative.
Call with something nice to say.
For two lousy weeks.

Don’t want the pipeline?
Stop consuming what’s there now.
Try going without.

Historic value.
Houses should be protected.
We don’t need parking.

Christian terrorists?
Christians don’t kill for Jesus.
I know my Koran.

Fix global warming?
A fake issue for fake Prez.
Go back to Disney.

Interview Tsongas.
Ask her about Obama.
Ask “Why does he suck?”

Thursday

Exonerated?
They just kept it all private.
Guy is still corrupt.

We need more pipelines.
Because more makes it cheaper.
Just like with donuts.

Climate change is real.
The weather is one way to tell.
Glad to see meetings.

Privilege needs to go.
Too many people abuse it.
Stop assault rifles.

Prez and FBI.
Disagreements have arisen.
Trust the FBI.

Friday

I’m saying “Christmas.”
Don’t let money ruin it.
The Right ain’t like that.

New Fire Department.
Put it on some old backroad.
Shouldn’t be central.

Property taxes.
Increasing for two straight years.
Bring back the last guy.

Too big to be broke.
Must be all the freeloaders.
High school will bring more.

We’re all embarrassed.
This lady needs to just leave.
Stop voting for her.

Voted based on his race.
And elected a racist.
You’re all so stupid.

We’re simply concerned.
That doesn’t make us racist.
Makes us hypocrites.

Pizza shop closed down.
Next to store selling same style.
Can’t imagine why.

Impeach Obama.
I want that done yesterday.
I’m very angry.

Saturday

Upstream river town.
Used to look much prettier.
Now looks like Jersey.

Page layout was nice.
That’s the kind of thing I want.
Comf’table reading.

Billerica High School.
Marched in Disney World Parade.
Congratulations.

Blaming Obama.
Can’t even label things right.
Time for him to go.

Country divided.
Can’t agree on anything.
Let’s order pizza.

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