Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 30th-Dec 5th, 2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Monday

Baker’s a RINO.
Letting all refugees in.
Not how we do things.

Thank first responders.
They’ll be the first to respond.
Kind of what they do.

Turkeys get pardoned.
Why not a politician?
Let DiMasi go.

All starts with music.
That’s why I’ve got raccoon hats.
Love Davey Crockett.

Lots of cash in town.
Folks just too tight to spend it.
Cheap schools make dumb kids.

Hand out birth control.
We need fewer new people.
Resources stretched thin.

Medicare costs up.
But I’m not getting a raise.
People need to die.

Know what ISIS hates?
Little Jesus dolls and stuff.
We need manger scenes.

Tuesday

How would that guy know?
Saying what’s American.
Stupid President.

Working Thanksgiving
Only to serve immigrants
White folks shouldn’t work

Silly beef eagles
Demanding racial justice
Cops never beat you

Next Prez might ban guns
Only cops and soldiers armed.
Fewer mass shootings.

Twice for Obama?
Now looking at Hillary?
Sanders would be change.

Wednesday

Parents should teach kids
At least basics before school
Could reduce tow costs

Manners are all gone
Mom almost got her arm broke
Open doors for the old

Pile of dirt near road
Might be carcinogenic
That’d be my first thought

Transfer station hours
They added an extra day
Changes ev’rything

More white terrorists
Story buried in the back
Please stop doing that

Just live by the law
Nothing will happen to you
Statistics all lie

Thursday

Media bias
Igores that Brown reached for gun
That was testified

Should have been let go
Doesn’t deserve a pension
Welfare for corrupt

We all need our sleep
But no footy pajamas
Makes all cops look bad

Pro-lifers don’t care
Their hate starts right when you’re born
Want all programs cut

Splendid paving job
Westford Street and Cupples Square.
It looks really nice

Friday

Said we don’t need tanks.
Said they make people nervous.
All cities need tanks.

Meeting went poorly.
Houses along pipeline got screwed.
Not too late to help.

“Christian terrorists.”
Folks avoid using that term.
Lot of them out there.

Irish were harmless.
Always been people of peace.
Never violent.

I like Hillary.
She’d make a good President.
Im voting for her.

Saturday

Keep them to yourself.
Don’t want fugees in my yard.
Trust remains lacking.

Kids t.p.’d my house.
They’re a bunch of criminals.
Can’t get this stuff down.

Christmas season soon.
Just two more short weeks to go.
Some folks start early.

They’ve got same last name.
And do things kind of the same.
Must be related.

DiMasi’s pardon.
I don’t see that happening.
Kind of a sleazebag.

Black Friday victims.
Hard to feel sorry for them.
Running of the fools.

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