Back Off in #Haiku. 12/21-26/15


[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also, if you want to buy my books on Kindle that’d be cool. ]

Monday 12/21/15

High school runs this town.
They get raises while we’re broke.
Stupidity reigns.

One drug dealer gone.
So many still run the show.
Big pharma must go.

Buddhist holiday?
There ain’t one in December.
Display makes no sense.

One-family homes.
Need to stop subdividing.
Neighborhoods crowd up.

You don’t need to know.
If you know so do bad guys.
Get over yourselves.

Don’t make us Revere.
We don’t wanna be Revere.
Let us have some class.

Merry Christmas jerks.
Two merry fingers to you.
Just like Jesus would.

High school drama club.
Excellent job with “Carol.”
Adds to the season.

Debatable plans.
Dems can’t plan anything right.
That’s my bowling night.

Dem ideas bad.
That’s why they keep on lieing.
Global warming’s fake.

Poor people need help.
Minimum wage can do that.
Mid class is all set.

Stop with the head shots.
Shoot them in non-vital zones.
Cops would look better.

Shelters are busy.
Clearly Obama’s result.
I’d close shelters down.

Spend more on prisons.
Obama refuses to.
Won’t listen to me.

Let’s bring back the draft.
But only for candidates.
Bastards gotta learn.

12/22/15 Tuesday

School board cried poor mouth.
Superintendent got raise.
My vote goes elsewhere.

Many towns giving raises.
Minimal results.

Arena empty.
No events besides hockey.
Needs new management.

Wallet was misplaced.
Finder turned it in for me.
Favor paid forward.

Flat wrapping paper.
Arthritis makes rolls a pain.
Help me find the flats.

Gov is pro-solar.
We have bad infrastructure.
One thing at a time.

Trump lies most the time.
Legit three-quarters bullshit.
Fact-checkers can’t rest.

Women and kids first.
That’s just how saving folks goes.
Stop being so scared.

Mideast refugees.
Obama let in millions.
Mostly terrorists.

Tuition goes up.
Administrators make more.
Kids remain stupid.

12/22/15 Tuesday (alt)

Student fees all raised.
Superintendent paid more.
A board still cries ‘poor.’

All towns do the same.
Elected feel entitled.
Changes should be forced.

Arena empty.
School needs new blood to run it.
Asset sans asses.

Lost wallet returned.
Paying forward will commence.
Donation soon made.

12/23/15 Wednesday

Leave Trumpster alone.
Sure he’s lieing and corrupt.
Name one who isn’t.

Blamed Trump for ISIS.
Completely a false attack.
Trump loves those bastards.

Polls are meaningless.
Only votes end up counting.
Lie to the callers.

Lottery scammers.
Investigation now due.
Continue coverage.

Horses have been saved.
Another farm has stepped up.
Old owner was bad.

School bathrooms messy.
Tried using one at a game.
Traumatized for life.

Debates on cable.
Candidates won’t reach the poor.
Concern seems lacking.

12/24/15 Thursday

Not that bad a guy.
Just has some vocal critics.
My vote goes to him.

Flat wrapping paper.
Many folks have arthritis.
Rolls can be painful.

Schools say no bullies.
Then Trump becomes frontrunner.
Messages get mixed.

Trump is my douchebag.
Our opinions are the same.
I vote for douchebags.

Construction projects.
Making neighborhoods ugly.
Renovate instead.

Religions are cool.
I like all of the faithful.
Stop killing people.

12/25/15 Friday

Democrat debates.
Always on Saturday nights.
I’m watching football.

Tried helping himself.
That’s where aid should be given.
Not to panhandlers.

Star Wars article.
Articulate and reasoned.
Just like the Bond ones.

Letter was well-written.
Hopefully people read it.
Elections come soon.

Panhandler wastes time.
Could have found a job by now.
Guy stands there all day.

12/26/15 Saturday

Sherriff is moving.
We liked having them around.
Don’t replace with Dunk’s.

I miss that movie.
They used to play it all day.
It was Wonderful.

Gregory Peck’s hot.
Makes my Christmas just sparkle.
Keys of my Kingdom.

Stop crying poor mouth.
Cops and teachers just want more.
We ain’t got no more.

Seniors deserve more.
State took money from our checks.
Time to pay it back.

Stranger bought coffee.
Random kindness at a Dunks.
Merriest Christmas.

Trump would out Anne Frank.
He’d send the Von Trapp’s back home.
And eat live puppies.

Back Off in #Haiku. Dec 14-19, 2015


[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also, buy my books. Sure, you could just scroll back and read the same material. But what if SoFC suddenly went out of business? Would you be able to live with yourself knowing how impossible these would be to find? Don’t let that happen to you: Buy the early days of Back Off in Haiku to read on your Kindle or any device with the Kindle app. Two volumes now out for the haiku appropriate price of $5.75]


Not there when the kids do well.
Praise should be given.

A wrong committed.
Not a gravy train given.
They are not the same.

Pipelines increase costs.
Monopoly grows stronger.
Need to grow options.

Guns aren’t invading.
Very religious folks are.
Vote accordingly.


Can’t take refugees.
Too many of us homeless.
Take care of ours first.

Raises to the rich.
But no money for sick time.
Makes me feel queasy.

Stop destroying Earth.
God wants us to care for it.
Only one we get.

I’ll agree with him.
But only on that one point.
Confusion sets it.


Half a million.
Americans killed by guns.
4k by Muslims.

Detours would be nice.
All parades should have a few.
Really would help out.

Local term limits.
I would like to see her go.
But votes keep coming.

Prez lets in the worst.
Open door for gang bangers.
No more of this man.


It’s a lovely town.
Random gifts for all seniors.
Shirley you’re awesome.

Veterans need help.
I support women’s shelters.
But there are more men.

Stop teaching Islam.
Kids don’t need to learn ’bout it.
Teach kids about Christ.

Computer hackers.
Should use their powers for good.
Not pornography.


Detail officer.
Saw one directing traffic.
Pretty impressive.

Students paying more.
Administrators got raise.
Greed can be painful.

Teachers get too much.
Small towns can’t afford such things.
There are roads to build.

You math is faulty.
A twentieth is not half.
Nothing to notice.

Taxable land gone.
College buys more property.
Tax base eroded.

Lanes made too narrow.
Snow banks will increase problems.
Foresight avoided.


Ban water bottles.
Enough to circle the Earth.
They’re going nowhere.

College needs to pay.
Taking too much of the town.
Burden dropped on us.

Report took a while.
Should have happened much faster.

Black lives might matter.
All guns might be dangerous.
But abortion’s cool?

High school is filthy.
How did things get so horrid?
Hire some janitors.

Need forced birth control.
Mandatory intrusions.
On top of abuse.

Back Off in #Haiku. 12/7-13/2015


[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]


He’s just out of touch.
Climate change doesn’t kill folks.
Guys with guns do.

Fear is a good thing.
We need to spread more of it.
Better than Muslims.

Lines on roads fading.
Outlasted by need for them.
Make them immortal.

We call it “Chistmas.”
Kids don’t know who it’s named for.
Put that in your ads.

Police on Segways.
Riding up and down sidewalks.
Won’t let me do that.


Don’t be negative.
Call with something nice to say.
For two lousy weeks.

Don’t want the pipeline?
Stop consuming what’s there now.
Try going without.

Historic value.
Houses should be protected.
We don’t need parking.

Christian terrorists?
Christians don’t kill for Jesus.
I know my Koran.

Fix global warming?
A fake issue for fake Prez.
Go back to Disney.

Interview Tsongas.
Ask her about Obama.
Ask “Why does he suck?”


They just kept it all private.
Guy is still corrupt.

We need more pipelines.
Because more makes it cheaper.
Just like with donuts.

Climate change is real.
The weather is one way to tell.
Glad to see meetings.

Privilege needs to go.
Too many people abuse it.
Stop assault rifles.

Prez and FBI.
Disagreements have arisen.
Trust the FBI.


I’m saying “Christmas.”
Don’t let money ruin it.
The Right ain’t like that.

New Fire Department.
Put it on some old backroad.
Shouldn’t be central.

Property taxes.
Increasing for two straight years.
Bring back the last guy.

Too big to be broke.
Must be all the freeloaders.
High school will bring more.

We’re all embarrassed.
This lady needs to just leave.
Stop voting for her.

Voted based on his race.
And elected a racist.
You’re all so stupid.

We’re simply concerned.
That doesn’t make us racist.
Makes us hypocrites.

Pizza shop closed down.
Next to store selling same style.
Can’t imagine why.

Impeach Obama.
I want that done yesterday.
I’m very angry.


Upstream river town.
Used to look much prettier.
Now looks like Jersey.

Page layout was nice.
That’s the kind of thing I want.
Comf’table reading.

Billerica High School.
Marched in Disney World Parade.

Blaming Obama.
Can’t even label things right.
Time for him to go.

Country divided.
Can’t agree on anything.
Let’s order pizza.

Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 30th-Dec 5th, 2015


[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]


Baker’s a RINO.
Letting all refugees in.
Not how we do things.

Thank first responders.
They’ll be the first to respond.
Kind of what they do.

Turkeys get pardoned.
Why not a politician?
Let DiMasi go.

All starts with music.
That’s why I’ve got raccoon hats.
Love Davey Crockett.

Lots of cash in town.
Folks just too tight to spend it.
Cheap schools make dumb kids.

Hand out birth control.
We need fewer new people.
Resources stretched thin.

Medicare costs up.
But I’m not getting a raise.
People need to die.

Know what ISIS hates?
Little Jesus dolls and stuff.
We need manger scenes.


How would that guy know?
Saying what’s American.
Stupid President.

Working Thanksgiving
Only to serve immigrants
White folks shouldn’t work

Silly beef eagles
Demanding racial justice
Cops never beat you

Next Prez might ban guns
Only cops and soldiers armed.
Fewer mass shootings.

Twice for Obama?
Now looking at Hillary?
Sanders would be change.


Parents should teach kids
At least basics before school
Could reduce tow costs

Manners are all gone
Mom almost got her arm broke
Open doors for the old

Pile of dirt near road
Might be carcinogenic
That’d be my first thought

Transfer station hours
They added an extra day
Changes ev’rything

More white terrorists
Story buried in the back
Please stop doing that

Just live by the law
Nothing will happen to you
Statistics all lie


Media bias
Igores that Brown reached for gun
That was testified

Should have been let go
Doesn’t deserve a pension
Welfare for corrupt

We all need our sleep
But no footy pajamas
Makes all cops look bad

Pro-lifers don’t care
Their hate starts right when you’re born
Want all programs cut

Splendid paving job
Westford Street and Cupples Square.
It looks really nice


Said we don’t need tanks.
Said they make people nervous.
All cities need tanks.

Meeting went poorly.
Houses along pipeline got screwed.
Not too late to help.

“Christian terrorists.”
Folks avoid using that term.
Lot of them out there.

Irish were harmless.
Always been people of peace.
Never violent.

I like Hillary.
She’d make a good President.
Im voting for her.


Keep them to yourself.
Don’t want fugees in my yard.
Trust remains lacking.

Kids t.p.’d my house.
They’re a bunch of criminals.
Can’t get this stuff down.

Christmas season soon.
Just two more short weeks to go.
Some folks start early.

They’ve got same last name.
And do things kind of the same.
Must be related.

DiMasi’s pardon.
I don’t see that happening.
Kind of a sleazebag.

Black Friday victims.
Hard to feel sorry for them.
Running of the fools.