[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Monday

Vote on Saturday.
More people would show up then.
Unless it’s nice out.

Election workers.
All did a wonderful job.
Nice and supportive.

Pave the overpass.
Everything else came out nice.
Bridges are crumbling.

Lowell Registry.
Less pleasant than dental work.
A very bad trip.

Pretty juvenile.
We know you don’t like the Prez.
But be an adult.

Tuesday

Supportive comments.
Beautiful positive thoughts.
Rainbows and puppies.

I’m a freethinker.
Just like my party tells me.
You guys are all sheep.

Lanes should be painted.
Let me know when to leave this road.
Marketing can wait.

Housing Director.
Shows up and puts in his day.
Last guy never did.

Michelle down in circ.
Got me back on some kid’s route.
Paperboys hate me.

Thursday

I could do that job.
And I’m a crazy old guy.
Come change my diaper.

All pipelines are bad.
Not just the one in your yard.
I need a Keystone.

Thank all of our vets.
Ballsiest mofos out there.
Make sure they get fed.

Bush was a nightmare.
All is better with Barrack.
Women have rights now.

I agree with that guy.
Nothing for me to say here.
He got that thing right.

Demo-rats all suck.
Country’s just going to hell.
I like name calling.

Friday

I don’t wanna work.
Let me hide behind the flag.
I hate immigrants.

Give ’em all a turn.
Let each of them be mayor.
Gavels mean nothing.

I like veterans.
Bunch of brave motherfuckers.
Buy them each a beer.

Lowell hates my kids.
Street paving blocked my driveway.
They’re going to starve.

Santa’s silhouette.
Lit up City Hall’s clockface.
Bring him back to us.

Freshman volleyball.
The girls didn’t lose one game.
Lowell High kicks ass.

Saturday

Underlings are rude.
The Chief does all that he can.
Blame the officers.

Surveys costs too much.
Manager should do his job.
Witch hunts shouldn’t fly.

Low pay fast food jobs.
Manufacturing is gone.
Things have gotten worse.

Golfer moving up.
Makes ten grand in a weekend.
No cheap beers for him.

Street lights are needed.
Police parking lot is dark.
Lives are being risked.

Stupid do-gooders.
Always trying to do good.
Don’t help me any.

Monday

Cops should give tickets.
To drivers who piss me off.
They could make millions.

New Hampshire roadways.
All of them are beautiful.
All without taxes.

Tuesday

Socialism’s face:
Medicaid is like the nose.
Pretty obvious.

Not socialism.
People pay into those things.
Even if it’s small.

Obituaries.
Honest ones respectable.
Learn from these losses.

Wednesday

Keep on Benghazi.
Never ever let it go.
Hold it close and tight.

Live from Los Ranchos.
Mental health concerns ignored.
Take the phone away.

New Hampshire gas dough.
Doesn’t get wasted on hacks.
They can afford roads.

Cops should wear whistles.
Use them to direct traffic.
More noise is pleasant.

Thursday

You’re funding others.
Later the young support you.
That’s socialism.

Prob’ly never served.
Calling our vets socialists?
You’re a dumb coward.

Fix condemned buildings.
Give to working-age homeless.
Help those who need help.

This town needs more bikes.
Too many fat folks in cars.
Clogging roads and veins.

Friday

Find anything yet?
Spending lots of time on her.
Should prob’ly move on.

I don’t like those guys.
They lean too far to the left.
That means they’re morons.

Don’t educate vets.
These are state schools we’re talking.
Way too expensive.

Thanksgiving shopping.
Greed is insufferable.
Stay home at my place.

Let me choose my time.
Let me get to say “good-bye.”
Two cents from the heart.

Saturday

Avoid copper foods.
Then Wilson’s disease won’t hurt.
Please don’t kill yourself.

Lib’ral media.
Only media out there.
[posted in The Sun].

They’re not the same thing.
Socialists don’t ever work.
Capitalists do.

JoAnn O’Brien.
Makes elections run smoothly.
Non-voters are lame.