Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 23-28, 2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in the general northeast corner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (USA). The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Monday

Ship all these bastards.
Useless and corrupt to boot.
Mistakes have been made.

Follow your money.
Taxes spent on bad programs.
Changes are needed.

He lied ’bout healthcare.
Won’t trust him on refugees.
Killers will sneak in.

Dems just give stuff out.
JFK told them “Ask not…”
Make this country great.

Tuesday

Spread fear like herpes.
Don’t really care who they hurt.
Right is good at that.

You’ll all get herpes!
Potential is ev’rything!
Marines should know this.

We need a new Prez.
I do not like this person.
He is not that good.

Romney would be nice.
Instead an ass hat now runs.
Dumb clueless ass hat.

Can’t judge anyone.
Not until you’re in their shoes.
Love my foot fetish.

Wednesday

Give me a damn raise.
I haven’t worked in decades.
And I didn’t save.

Dude’s fuggin’ brilliant.
Like right up there with Trumpster.
I’m writing him in.

John Kerry just sucks.
Seth Moulton equally bad.
I hate veterans.

There’s more terrorists.
Many of them speak English.
You can report that.

Kendall and Rodney.
Such close tight friendly buddies.
Ken should run next time.

Thursday

Begging to be robbed.
Don’t leave purses out open.
Thieves can strike quick.

Refugees hide scum.
They are from cultures of hate.
Doors should remain shut.

Mercier and Rourke.
Got the high school roof repaired.
A job done quickly.

Pipeline will save us.
Beef eagles just keep whining.
These are good people.

Respect privacy.
Salaries aren’t your concern.
Don’t create targets.

Friday

Letter from Blossom.
A well-written joy to read.
Keep up the good work.

Lot of hate for Vets.
Seems to be coming from Right.
Pretty disgusting.

Tsongas out of touch.
Her lockstep differs from mine.
Supposed to lead right.

Shawsheen Tech freshmen.
Undefeated football team.
Great job getting there.

Headlights at all times.
Factories should make it so.
Folks get forgetful.

Saturday

Look in the mirror.
Understand you’re a failure.
Clueless management.

Rodney will be missed.
Unless he forgets to leave.
Deer in a spotlight.

Fashion designers.
Not relevant to fashion.
Photos should be cropped.

Insult my city.
We hardly get attention.
We have losers too.

We are all sinners.
But at least we’re not creepy.
Your ways are messed up.

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Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 16-21, 2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Monday

Sanity questioned.
Economic scene is bad.
I’ve seen better days.

Hillary Clinton.
Liar liar pants on fire.
Is it nap time yet?

Food prices are up.
Ostriches might not know that.
Are you an ostrich?

Give them a whole week.
Veterans deserve better.
A day is too small.

CORI got reversed.
Supposed to hire those who pass.
Chelmsford got it wrong.

Tuesday

Climate change ain’t bad.
Terrorism’s a worse threat.
Stupid President.

Local news paper.
Focused on local stories.
I’m so offended.

Transgender restrooms.
Good for dads with young daughters.
Can’t leave them outside.

Expensive survey.
Told us what we always knew.
Workplace drama sucks.

Wednesday

A pressure cooker.
He said it was a Crockpot.
Stupid President.

Show his ass the door.
He needs to leave that house now.
Stupid President.

Called it “a setback”?
I’d call it “an act of war.”
Stupid President.

Cops don’t get along.
They just don’t see eye-to-eye.
Let Springsteen write it.

Back roads are speedways.
Moved out here to leave that shit.
Truckers in a rush.

Student loans do suck.
But that isn’t my problem.
Let Clintons pay them.

Veterans Parade.
We have parades all year round.
Why not one for them?

Religion is weird.
Fake religions are weirder.
I hate spaghetti.

Thursday

Big shoes must be filled.
A clown will be leaving soon.
Pelham’s fav’rite son.

Town taxes are high.
The auditor disagrees.
He’s an idiot.

Marty Meehan spends.
Then complains about low funds.
Stop drinking the rent.

Go through Mexico.
Easiest way to the states.
Works for Mexicans.

Food costs are lower.
Just depends on where you go.
We like DeMoulas.

Friday

They don’t want refuge.
Marathon bombers didn’t.
Wake-up call needed.

No more agendas.
This country needs more safety.
Stop being a Dem.

Moulton didn’t think.
His words could lead to more deaths.
Can’t respect this Vet.

On the lighter side:
Charlie Sheen has HIV.
That’s a knee-slapper.

Let’s destroy ISIS.
Get ev’ry last one of them.
Weak ass President.

Saturday

Cops don’t get along.
Paperwork being shuffled.
Drama gone public.

Twenty-five thousand.
More spent further in the red.
Can’t find the receipt.

I like her column.
But don’t care what she’s wearing.
She can leave that out.

Trump’s an honest man.
Not professional at all.
Couldn’t be simpler.

FDR was wrong.
Minimum wage jobs aren’t real.
Stupid President.

Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 9-14th, 2015.

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Monday

Vote on Saturday.
More people would show up then.
Unless it’s nice out.

Election workers.
All did a wonderful job.
Nice and supportive.

Pave the overpass.
Everything else came out nice.
Bridges are crumbling.

Lowell Registry.
Less pleasant than dental work.
A very bad trip.

Pretty juvenile.
We know you don’t like the Prez.
But be an adult.

Tuesday

Supportive comments.
Beautiful positive thoughts.
Rainbows and puppies.

I’m a freethinker.
Just like my party tells me.
You guys are all sheep.

Lanes should be painted.
Let me know when to leave this road.
Marketing can wait.

Housing Director.
Shows up and puts in his day.
Last guy never did.

Michelle down in circ.
Got me back on some kid’s route.
Paperboys hate me.

Thursday

I could do that job.
And I’m a crazy old guy.
Come change my diaper.

All pipelines are bad.
Not just the one in your yard.
I need a Keystone.

Thank all of our vets.
Ballsiest mofos out there.
Make sure they get fed.

Bush was a nightmare.
All is better with Barrack.
Women have rights now.

I agree with that guy.
Nothing for me to say here.
He got that thing right.

Demo-rats all suck.
Country’s just going to hell.
I like name calling.

Friday

I don’t wanna work.
Let me hide behind the flag.
I hate immigrants.

Give ’em all a turn.
Let each of them be mayor.
Gavels mean nothing.

I like veterans.
Bunch of brave motherfuckers.
Buy them each a beer.

Lowell hates my kids.
Street paving blocked my driveway.
They’re going to starve.

Santa’s silhouette.
Lit up City Hall’s clockface.
Bring him back to us.

Freshman volleyball.
The girls didn’t lose one game.
Lowell High kicks ass.

Saturday

Underlings are rude.
The Chief does all that he can.
Blame the officers.

Surveys costs too much.
Manager should do his job.
Witch hunts shouldn’t fly.

Low pay fast food jobs.
Manufacturing is gone.
Things have gotten worse.

Golfer moving up.
Makes ten grand in a weekend.
No cheap beers for him.

Street lights are needed.
Police parking lot is dark.
Lives are being risked.

Stupid do-gooders.
Always trying to do good.
Don’t help me any.

Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 2-7, 2015.

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Monday

Cops should give tickets.
To drivers who piss me off.
They could make millions.

New Hampshire roadways.
All of them are beautiful.
All without taxes.

Tuesday

Socialism’s face:
Medicaid is like the nose.
Pretty obvious.

Not socialism.
People pay into those things.
Even if it’s small.

Obituaries.
Honest ones respectable.
Learn from these losses.

Wednesday

Keep on Benghazi.
Never ever let it go.
Hold it close and tight.

Live from Los Ranchos.
Mental health concerns ignored.
Take the phone away.

New Hampshire gas dough.
Doesn’t get wasted on hacks.
They can afford roads.

Cops should wear whistles.
Use them to direct traffic.
More noise is pleasant.

Thursday

You’re funding others.
Later the young support you.
That’s socialism.

Prob’ly never served.
Calling our vets socialists?
You’re a dumb coward.

Fix condemned buildings.
Give to working-age homeless.
Help those who need help.

This town needs more bikes.
Too many fat folks in cars.
Clogging roads and veins.

Friday

Find anything yet?
Spending lots of time on her.
Should prob’ly move on.

I don’t like those guys.
They lean too far to the left.
That means they’re morons.

Don’t educate vets.
These are state schools we’re talking.
Way too expensive.

Thanksgiving shopping.
Greed is insufferable.
Stay home at my place.

Let me choose my time.
Let me get to say “good-bye.”
Two cents from the heart.

Saturday

Avoid copper foods.
Then Wilson’s disease won’t hurt.
Please don’t kill yourself.

Lib’ral media.
Only media out there.
[posted in The Sun].

They’re not the same thing.
Socialists don’t ever work.
Capitalists do.

JoAnn O’Brien.
Makes elections run smoothly.
Non-voters are lame.