Back Off in #Haiku. 10/26-31/15

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Monday

Great Wall of Chelmsford.
Needed to keep out the thieves.
Value the missing.

Yelling ‘Benghazi.’
Something something Clinton bitch.
Please listen to me.

My mornings start late.
All of these trucks confuse me.
Are they there all night?

More driving problems.
Calling Backtalk at red lights.
This is important.

Clich├ęs can be fun.
Pigs will never really fly.
Peace is for losers.

I heart sarcasm.
But does it come across here?
Your baby is cute.

Police on cellphones.
While driving quickly down roads.
Rules aren’t for the blue.

Electric went up.
After I got a panel.
Shit just don’t make sense.

High bills hurt poor folks.
Just pointing it out for you.
Can we work on that?

We need more options.
Cable is my only life.
I can’t just unplug.

Tuesday

Lower speed limit.
Energy will be preserved.
Less death is good too.

Drivers are crazy.
Big Dig tunnel falls apart.
Too many loose screws.

Don’t overlook faults.
Boobs alone won’t get my vote.
Trump is qualified.

New safety feature:
Cellphones shut off when moving.
Carnage needs to go.

Wednesday

ACLU fights.
But not for gun fanatics.
We need an org too.

Kids knocking on doors.
Begging for field trip money.
Panhandlers are bred.

Death with dignity.
Here’s my dignified response:
Losers need to stop.

He’ll kill your grandma.
And tell you she wanted it.
Obama’s evil.

Hate socialism?
Don’t collect “your” Medicare.
Practice what you preach.

Thursday

Meat causes cancer.
I still want my nice and rare.
Veggies are a hoax.

Walgreens bought Rite Aid.
Drugstore monopoly soon.
Government has failed.

Dress up as a Dem.
Take candy to give away.
Make same joke next year.

Gronk should cut that out.
Kids in China don’t have footballs.
A terrible waste.

Friday

Obama was worse.
No matter what Sanders might do.
They’re both socialists.

Classroom cop was right.
Kids should always do as told.
Put your phones away.

High school athletics.
Some of these kids are losers.
Don’t deserve to play.

Witch hunt wasn’t waste.
Healthcare is a massive scam.
Complicated math.

Not socialism.
If it helps me out it’s good.
Socialism bad.

Saturday

Views on kids’ costumes?
That’s a question for debates?
No shits are given.

Five million dollars.
Spent on a senseless witch hunt.
By those who fly brooms.

Synchronized lighting.
We could use that on Bridge Street.
I’ll get home some day.

Fantasy football.
As much gambling as horses.
Just study the odds.

Moderators ask.
That’s what they are paid to do.
Answer carefully.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/19-24/15.

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Monday

RMV workers.
Good reason to use website
Robots are nicer.

8:20 packout.
Event went to 8:30.
Families left cold.

Overzealous Prez.
Trampling the Constitution.
Out to get my guns.

Tuesday

Things getting stolen.
Custodians are to blame.
Privatizing failed.

Self-inflicted ills.
The fault lies with the patient.
Includes fat smokers.

Debates too early.
I’ll be stuck in traffic then.
Will catch recordings.

Hillary flip flops.
No better than Mitt Romney.
Clearly bi-poller.

Traffic lights not synched.
High school buses standing still.
Walkers move faster.

Wednesday

Big ass donation.
Seems like a pretty nice guy.
Tuition is high.

The First Amendment.
We don’t need a spokesperson.
Meetings might go long.

Townline markers off.
Chelmsford isn’t in Lowell.
Other way around.

Auditorium.
How much money did they lose?
Reports not released.

Rushing the shooter.
The brave and right thing to do.
Libtards are cowards.

Thursday

Nat Grid screwed me big.
Tripled bill while I was gone.
Thieves on the meter.

I’m no socialist.
I’m leaving the Dems behind.
They’re no Kennedys.

Neighbors to the north.
Hoping we’ll save their asses.
They should learn to fight.

One thousand Trumpers.
Able to find Tyngsboro.
Didn’t expect that.

Lots of driving laws.
If you don’t like them don’t drive.
Cars are dangerous.

Stop making demands.
You’re a guest in this country.
Welcome overstayed.

Kids don’t need candy.
I’ll be giving out pencils.
Adding up their teeth.

Friday

Temp workers steal stuff.
Make them feel like they belong.
Hire them directly.

Halloween costume.
Dress like a Republican.
Steal candy from kids.

Platform based on race.
“I’ll help all Cambodians.”
Should help all of us.

Lecture series changed.
Not just lightweight fam’ly stuff.
Questioning choices.