Back Off in #Haiku. August 10-15

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Back Off in #Haiku. August 10-15

[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Backtalk:

Monday

Free tablet bullshit.
80 bucks to restock.
Screw you Verizon.

Obama silent.
He should be at all fun’rals.
Just like Reagan was.

Looking for cellphone.
Some kid rolled his car over.
Punish him some more.

Tuesday

Dogs should all be leashed.
There are lots of bad drivers.
World spins ’round drivers.

One man went to jail.
Another got promoted.
Jail will find him soon.

An old Dylan hit.
“Infidels” on Union Sundown.
Obama’s theme song.

Legalizing pot?
We still can’t have fire crackers.
Tell me which is worse.

Red Sox GM Ben.
Poor decisions getting made.
Pasture is calling.

Christie changed my mind.
Was gonna vote for Rand Paul.
Thank-you, big fat man.

Kerry likes the deal.
Said so down in Vietnam.
Not Fonda that guy.

Kinder Morgan’s pipe.
We won’t benefit from it.
No good will arrive.

Wednesday

That old vacant lot.
To hell will kids playing games.
We need a Cumby’s.

Money has been found.
Rectally extracted it.
That’s good management.

I really don’t care.
Maybe enough to call in.
But that’s about it.

Rotary landscape.
Bushes in need of trimming.
Zombies might hide there.

Clinton’s a killer.
Think of all them babies.
No choices for them.

Thursday

Shitty CNA’s.
No empathy in their bones.
Beyond disgusting.

Heroin addicts.
Eleven dead in three days.
Let’s legalize pot.

Goodell just plain sucks.
I wish him many curses.
Dumb sonovabitch.

Regional dispatch.
Bring all the towns together.
Lowell has a spot.

Friday

Clinton’s a liar.
Same goes for Niki Tsongas.
Fire all Democrats.

Let the sun shine in.
All schools need solar power.
Make money for town.

Deer roaming the streets.
Drivers should watch out for them.
They’re worse than cyclists.

Drivers just speed through.
No improvements from crosswalks.
Total waste of funds.

Regional dispatch.
The city doesn’t get much.
Only helps the towns.

Public lands look bad.
City neglects all its lawns.
Mow them ev’ry week.

Planned Parenthood.
Over forty years of help.
They’re too important.

Clueless candidates.
Charging us to watch debates.
Lost my vote right there.

Sound Off

Monday

Trump sucks period.
Sexist jerk can go to hell.
Not getting my vote.

Don’t call Trump mean names.
Name-calling is for losers.
Such as Donald Trump.

Trump for Hillary.
Only reason he’s running.
He makes her look good.

Heroes of YouTube.
Filming themselves break cop cars.
Prob’ly immigrants.

Long parallel streets.
Never to meet in this town.
Vagueness confuses.

Patriotism.
Pride doesn’t make me a jerk.
Whining makes you one.

Give Trump some Midol.
Dude’s gotta be cramping big.
Cranky whiney bitch.

No sanctuary.
Doesn’t help legals at all.
They’re all criminals.

Attacking their own.
Trying to be alpha dog.
They’ll back Trump later.

Private school closing.
Parents can’t afford the costs.
Liberals hate God.

Seniors getting screwed.
Immigrants taking it all.
Wish I knew it then.

An error was made.
Wrong intersection mentioned.
Move on with your life.

Racing in the streets.
Springsteen romanticized this.
But I’d like some sleep.

Wednesday

He killed off school choice.
That makes him a communist.
Just like all lib’rals.

Dogs in a hot car.
I was told to just butt out.
You shouldn’t own dogs.

Bullet to the head.
No need for all these trials.
Our laws cost too much.

Rand Paul admits it.
All politicians are paid for.
Doesn’t change things though.

Trump leads the Right’s hopes.
What does that say about them?
They’re all a joke.

Mayor hides his phone.
Doesn’t fly in NFL.
Boston should fine him.

Thursday

Federal football?
It’s just a labor dispute.
Not a major case.

Cut off his package.
Then put him back on the streets.
No free meals for creeps.

Border patrol drugs.
Employees found with stuff.
That makes things tricky.

President runs late.
But never for his golf games.
Priorities known.

Trump should learn focus.
Get that Mexican wall up.
Then the veterans.

Governor Shaheen.
In lockstep with Obama.
She hates New Hampshire.

Christians still have rights.
We can be whiney assholes.
That’s what Jesus wants.

Friday

Those damn illegals.
Taking over our language.
You’re all illegals.

I’m skipping Lawrence.
Taking my business elsewhere.
Corrupt government.

Real estate taxes.
Sanctuaries all exempt.
Doesn’t help at all.

I’ll boycott Lawrence.
No need for sanctuary.
-Bob from Nevada

This vote disturbs me.
Illegals from all over.
Even worse than now.

Don’t hire more police.
The ones we have now just hide.
Like kids smoking weed.

Clinton won debate.
Wasn’t even on the stage.
They’re all too Trump-like.

Saturday

I like Hillary.
She’s a tremendous speaker.
Vote based on gender.

More problems in town.
Not just that rich neighborhood.
Look below the lake.

They’re banning too much.
First they took my orange flag.
Next they’ll take my wife.

Plates from out of state.
Fill up my condo parking lot.
Don’t think they’re legit.

Money is free speech.
Corporations are people.
These are the problems.

Big labor dispute.
That’s why it went to the courts.
Brady has his rights.

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