Back Off in #Haiku. August 3-8th, 2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]

Backtalk:

Monday

Cars under control.
Making streets safe for runners.
Thank-you officers.

Paid time off is good.
Sometimes people get real sick.
Bills need to be paid.

Deflategate still here?
Humanity must move on.
The blimp fell slowly.

It’s Obama’s fault.
Tom skipped out on the White House.
This is punishment.

Tuesday

Students jaywalking.
Maybe a bridge would help us.
These kids are stupid.

Tsongas still reading.
Really not much to study.
Muslims just hate us.

Make him go away.
Stuff his hair in his mouth first.
Draft dodging buffoon.

No big loss for us.
Maybe for the corrupt folks.
Not too sad ’bout that.

Some jerk hit my car.
Didn’t stick around at all.
I’m out two fifty.

Wednesday

NFL rule book:
Drugs will make you miss one game.
Tommy should get lit.

Jenner’s bathroom use:
Is that the boy’s room or girl’s?
I can’t sleep at all.

I am so outraged.
By a story that’s over.
My outrage will stay.

Your freaky tattoos.
Folks once paid to see those things.
Kind of like nipples.

Parking meter blues.
Got charged despite not staying.
Never going back.

Can’t water my lawn.
But town hall looks like Splash Town.
Goddamn hypocrites.

Thursday

I can’t paint sidewalks.
They’d kill me if I did that.
Why’d he get let off?

Jenner’s restroom use?
The biggest thing on your mind?
Are you five years old?

Moving out of state.
I don’t need sanctuary.
Hope Maine lets me in.

Not Obama’s fault.
Tom Brady understands that.
He’s reasonable.

A golfer moving.
Rest of the team will miss him.
A decent player.

Intersection blues.
Short lights equal longer waits.
Roads without movement.

Saturday

Debate on Fox News.
Not everyone has cable.
Why limit your reach?

I’m voting for Trump.
He’s the only one for me.
Without him I’ll die.

Tsongas unchallenged.
No real right wing contenders.
I’d like her to leave.

Leave Paint Man alone.
Drunks are killing your children.
Aim your hate wisely.

Get over Jenner.
Who cares about bathroom use?
None of your business.

Fund Planned Parenthood.
They do more than abortions.
Respect privacy.

One hundred percent.
Tax rate we’ll get from Sanders.
Possibly higher.

Sound Off

Monday

Kids today don’t care.
Gonna kill us old drivers.
Thinking they’re special.

Drug addicts get off.
Brady remains suspended.
Picture is crooked.

Stop the name calling.
Romney was good to that dog.
Hillary’s just mean.

Left wing is biased.
Ignores all faults on their side.
Some way worse than Trump.

Two philosophies:
One says earn and one says take.
Free spirits are earned.

Fancy pocketbooks.
Used to hold EBT cards.
An obvious fraud.

Solar energy.
Just another business plan.
Costs will match others.

Tuesday

Texting while driving.
West coast cracks down and saves lives.
Example now set.

Big arrows ignored.
Laws should reflect how things are.
Vote with your actions.

Socialism bad.
Trump is a conservative.
Not a plutocrat.

Benghazi and stuff.
Planned Parenthood something something.
I hate that black guy.

9-1-1 language.
English is good for most folks.
We should all learn it.

9-1-1 language.
Dispatcher assigned Lawrence.
Should be bilingual.

9-1-1 language.
Big country needs common voice.
Y’awl knows I right.

9-1-1 language.
With all due respect you’re wrong.
Bilinguals needed.

Other countries’ rules:
Learn the language or suffer.
They should have studied.

Tiger Woods is done.
Golf is a younger man’s game.
It always has been.

Workers live in fear.
Survey shows the Doctor to blame.
School Board doesn’t care.

Thursday

No magic coming.
Language barrier is real.
Ideals don’t matter.

Left is socialist.
No moderates on that side.
Only extremists.

Goodell’s a coward.
Afraid to do the right thing.
Caves in to owners.

Friday

People hate their phones.
Hillary and Tom Brady.
Suspend her four years.

Michael Christian helped.
I didn’t know why Trump sucks.
Blanks are now filled in.

Enough name calling.
Show Trump respect he deserves.
Only babies do that.

Got rid of smoking.
But replacing it with weed.
Smoke still kills your lungs.

Old folks learned English.
Why can’t the new immigrants?
Phone trees annoy me.

Saturday

Evangelicals.
Can’t use library as church.
Glad they got turned down.

Can’t adopt a dog.
Shelter is asking too much.
Would like a new friend.

Hillary Clinton.
Let’s reopen Alcatraz.
Throw away the boat.

Socialism works.
Billionaires live in Sweden.
Learn your history.

Democrats hate Trump.
He controls the dialogue.
Says what needs saying.

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