Monthly Archives: July 2015

07.29.15
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Norwegian Golf Course Mystery Pooper…the blog that writes itself.

Mystery Pooper

Source

For the last decade, a man has been coming to a golf course in Norway in the mornings, dropping trou and pooping in the cups.

That sentence should invite a lot of questions.

Stavanger Golf Club has been dealing with the mystery pooper since 2005, and the club’s staff is convinced a man is behind the fecal graffiti for a simple reason.

“We know it is a man because the poos are too massive to be from a woman,” said groundskeeper Kenneth Tennfjord, who added that the man in question often leaves toilet paper to go along with the turds, according to the Rogalands Avis paper.

The person in question only poops in the cups on weekdays, never showing up on weekends. Presumably, he has better things to do then. The guy apparently used to bike to the parts of the course where he would do his business, with grounds staff noticing wheels marks in the dew, followed by foot prints to the cup.

At one point, the club thought putting flood flights around the mystery pooper’s favorite target would stop him. Wrong. The guy just found a way to turn off the lights and poop in the dark.

I can’t speak to the customs and golfing traditions of the country of Norway as I’ve never been there nor have I shared a beer with any real life Norwegians, let alone Norwegian golfers (or Norwegian poopers for that matter).  Yes, the idea of hovering in gimme range and dropping your cargo in the cup seems strange to me.  But what kind of guy would I be to judge another man for being particular about his bowel rituals.  Aren’t we all? Sure, not everyone would want to complicate the matter with pin placements and break, but to each his own.  As I understand it, there are 3 internationally recognized tenets of being a successful man: make money, get laid, and last but most importantly, get regular. More power to you if you can take care of all three at the golf course.

Btw, honorable mention here goes to the Norwegian investigators and their decade long manhunt:

“Whelp, it’s a big dump so it can’t be a women.”

“It can’t be Tiger Woods as he wouldn’t go the bathroom on the green unless there was a whore lying there. Definitely didn’t see any whore footprints.”

“Doesn’t come around on weekends…must be a family man, trying to avoid 6 hour rounds on the weekends.”

“The presence of toilet paper rules out all Mt Pleasant members.”

Splendid effort, fellas.

07.28.15
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The future of Bicycle Advocacy. #bikecity

Don’t be confused by the language, as this isn’t actually in Lowell.  The tell is the pristinely painted bicycle lane and the vehicle itself isn’t a massive Tahoe with a “Re-elect Mayor Elliott sticker” on it.  But that’s neither here nor there, because what we’re watching here is the future of bicycle advocacy.  Brute force.  This gentleman will not only single handedly improve the cycling experience for his community, but no longer will the stereo type of cyclists be one of ill-fitting outfits, and a build that requires all altercations be settled through tersely worded, anonymous notes left on peoples cars.  Wherever this guy is, we need to hunt him down and make him an offer he can’t refuse.

07.25.15
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Back Off in #Haiku. July 20-25th, 2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.

Also… I’ve been doing this for a year now. I know because next to me is a cinder block wall with little chalk markings. Five markings. Seven markings. Five markings. Over and over again. If I were a wrestler I would steal Rey Mysterio’s finishing move and rename it the 575. Someday I’ll move to New Mexico. Guess what their area code is. Maybe someday I’ll have children. A big family. Five girls. Seven boys. Five dogs. For now though I’m just going to relax. I’ll try to enjoy the Lowell Folk Festival (Five klezmer bands. Seven gospel bands. Five zydeco bands].

Sound Off

Monday

“Think before you speak.”
A concept unknown to Trump.
Rev brain before mouth.

Iran Contra deal.
Can’t blame Obama for that.
But you’ll prob’ly try.

Fake grassroots support.
Tries to sell us on cheap fuel costs.
Product exported.

Need more cameras.
Use them to catch litterers.
Big Brother’s room’s messy.

Haverhill’s a big city.
Can be hard to keep it clean.
Crack down on litter.

Casinos are watched.
Ev’ry inch strongly guarded.
Money won’t escape.

Boston casinos.
New Hampshire plates in the lot.
Why we need to build.

Tuesday

Sewer rate increase.
An annual occurrence.
Leaders should be dropped.

One big distraction.
Please step down when indicted.
Common procedure.

Wars are not a plot.
These people want to kill us.
Life is expensive.

Small town casino.
Couple thousand slot machines.
Nothing too fancy.

Blood on their hands.
For all who want Iran deal.
We lose ev’rything.

Wednesday

No sanctuary.
Immigrants are dangerous.
Too many victims.

Trump’s service record.
Got a student deferment.
Don’t think he learned much.

Space exploration.
Costs billions for Pluto pics.
Cancer’s still a thing.

Comic made a joke.
Said something like what Trump said.
Don’t vote for Chris Rock.

Small baby pipeline.
It won’t hurt anybody.
Coochy coochy coo.

Carbon monoxide.
You might want to learn about that.
Ventilation helps.

Thursday

Republicans failed.
Obama did ev’rything.
That’s why we need Trump.

Don’t talk to the guy.
Keep Trump out of all debates.
Hell with that scumbag.

We want honesty.
Even if it’s from a nut.
Candidates should learn.

Don’t raise minimum.
Go after deadbeat fathers.
Jail ’em till they pay.

No sanctuary.
Get deportations caught up.
Too many felons.

Electric bill down.
Now they want to make changes.
Don’t touch a damn thing.

Friday

Gas grill burned a house.
The Chief should educate folks:
Check your connections.

Root problem is cost.
Insurance just makes things worse.
Prices are crazy.

No sanctuary.
Take away their licenses.
Drive them out of town.

“Death to USA.”
Why are we dealing with him?
At least he’s honest.

Nepotistic cops.
Thought we had laws against that.
Who will enforce it?

Manager resigned.
“Private sector pays better.”
They didn’t want him.

Swapping addictions.
Vaping replaces smoking.
Better off stopping.

Saturday

Quran says shed blood.
Muslim leaders stay quiet.
Nature of their faith.

Trump is an asshole.
I agree with him a lot.
But he shouldn’t run.

Trophy wife t-shirt.
Target won’t carry that one.
Girls hate comedy.

Trump speaks the truth.
Nobody else has the balls.
McCain’s a pussy.

Planning board corrupt.
Bend like pretzels for builders.
Won’t return my calls.

Backtalk

Monday

Gov’s buds got a raise.
Minimum wage remains low.
Think I’ve heard this one.

Trump knows what to do.
Send the illegals back home.
They don’t belong here.

No black officers?
I know it’s a small city.
But can we fix that?

North shore casino.
Mayor micromanaging.
Just let them build it.

Where the house burned down.
Let’s turn it into a park.
Plant a few flowers.

The Prez on vacay.
He’s almost as bad as Bush.
Tell him to stay there.

Loser overpaid.
Common sense remains absent.
Disgust strongly felt.

Wednesday

Increase minimum.
Happy workers work harder.
No one will close shop.

Methadone mothers.
Blocked from clinic after fight.
They still need treatment.

Identity thieves.
Millions of our people hacked.
They want to be us.

Thursday

They’re laughing at us.
All over these six fine states.
Take your paint and leave.

Paying folks to quit.
After they screw up big time.
I can do that job.

Aramark composts.
Cooked food can’t be donated.
Violates health codes.

Right wing policies.
Too much in common with Greece.
How are they doing?

The Klan likes bed sheets.
Are we banning those now too?
Wahhh wahhh sniff sniff wahhhhhhh.

Balance the budget.
Budgets need to be balanced.
I’d like it balanced.

Friday

Not a good painter.
Didn’t use right kind of paint.
They make a street paint.

Painter guy should move.
Our town needs some landscaping.
George, come to Dracut.

Help is illegal?
Donated work and supplies.
Things weren’t getting done.

Trials are costly.
Let that lady pay for it.
Watch it disappear.

No sanctuary.
Illegals are illegal.
And no cake for gays.

Saturday

No fights in clinics.
Seems pretty reasonable.
Help was rejected.

Start with the sidewalks.
Then worry about rail trails.
Safety should come first.

I don’t like those guys.
Resumes overstated.
Just a couple hacks.

07.18.15
by

Back Off in #Haiku. July 13th-20th, 2015

image

[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been].

Backtalk:

7/13/2015

Wasteful Aramark.
Throwing away leftovers.
I’ll take some of that.

Taxes increasing.
Selectman says we’re stronger.
My stomach weakens.

Day after The 4th.
Red Solo cups ev’rywhere.
Drunkards have no pride.

Clothing for students.
Distribution could improve.
Closets are all full.

Where should I donate?
Info not in article.
Google this you jerk.

Cops now shoot to kill.
Even against kids with toys.
Slopes are slippery.

Big Papi Ortiz
All he ever does is whine.
More like Big Baby.

Please drop Aramark.
Why should we babysit them?
Show some discipline.

Fake IRS calls.
Harassing me day and night.
Caller ID helps.

7/15/2015

Big cars in projects.
How can they afford those things.
See it ev’ry day.

Festival parking.
Will the meters be enforced?
Folks will hate that shit.

False transparency.
Won’t let me make random calls.
’cause I “don’t know names.”

Callers still calling.
Block only blocks thirty of them.
Robots have no souls.

‘T’ is for ‘taxes.’
That’s not good enough for me.
Monsters should keep out.

We need abortions.
Also lethal injections.
I really hate kids.

July 18th

Rain falls on math books.
Lights flicker as tiles crumble.
A roof needs repair.

Give gum to squirrels.
They get upset and move on.
A yard is peaceful.

Orange flag should stay.
Reminder of the fallen.
They were brave traitors.

Site of deadly fire.
Leave it as a vacant lot.
Let them rest in peace.

Hands should stay on wheel.
Texters are worse than drunkards.
Our state falls behind.

Pedestrians failed.
Crossing streets without looking.
Don’t harass drivers.

Sound Off

Monday

Civil action suit.
Just another big phone scam.
Won’t give their info.

Orange flag came down.
I guess racism is gone.
I’m gonna get bored.

The flag didn’t kill.
So stop hurting it’s feelings.
There there little flag…

Be fair to people.
Judge each on their own actions.
Families argue.

Teacher contract fight.
They’ll win eventually.
Just bend over now.

Don’t blame the last guy.
Been hearing that for eight years.
Or maybe sixteen.

Cops did what they could.
But it’s Lawrence on The 4th.
People are morons.

Tuesday

Small town lost power.
Car hit a telephone pole.
Old folks missed their shows.

Crooked officials.
Only exist in our town.
Break out the pitchforks.

Your mess will kill us.
Not to mention it’s ugly.
The whole world scares me.

Kids might steal shovels.
Hit folks with Garden Weasels.
We see ev’rything.

Dangerous eyesores.
Laws should protect us from you.
You clearly need help.

No recovery.
Such things make themselves known.
This one is hiding.

Dems first raised that flag.
Hated Civil Rights movement.
Just like I still do.

Roads are improving.
Losing things to bitch about.
Feelings confuse me.

Bad time to cut troops.
More enemies than ever.
Bad calls have been made.

Wednesday

Rose is a scumbag.
Doesn’t belong in The Hall.
That place is sacred.

Teachers came up short.
Small raises over right years.
Not breaking the bank.

Hang your silly flag.
Just not on public buildings.
Even Jeb knows that.

Casinos bring crime.
Give nothing back in return.
Better luck next time.

Your party’s corrupt.
Stop pointing fingers this way.
Our crook’s a good guy.

Thursday

You are not oppressed.
Gays now have equality.
That means they’re equal.

They had chemicals.
The UN reports proved that.
Those kill large masses.

Dumb constitution.
Giving scum free legal help.
We’re paying for that.

Slow down garbage trucks.
Their accidents are the worst.
College would solve that.

“Bring your son to work.
And give his dumb ass a job.”
-Methuen PD

We The People pay.
To defend Bulger and worse.
Lawyers love this scam.

Friday

People rescued shark.
My hat goes off to them all.
Seals are ungrateful.

Try to stay on topic.
We know you hate Obama.
But litter is bad.

Blame the KKK.
The flag should keep on flying.
Can’t change history.

They should all feel shame.
The guy won’t even step down.
A town embarrassed.

Not against their pay.
Just think process takes too long.
Stop dragging things out.

Saturday

Crime overstated.
Casinos would bring sunshine.
Not tattoo parlors.

Remains innocent.
Proof of guilt not provided.
Put away your robe.

Let them fight their wars.
Don’t give them our resources.
Stop the war racket.

Obama dodges.
Ignores military’s thoughts.
Handpicks reporters.

Sewer and water.
Rates increasing yet again.
Nothing is maintained.

 

 

07.16.15
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Because you asked, “When is being found naked in your neighbors pig pen frowned upon?”

pig

(Source)  MILLERSVILLE, Pa. — Police have charged a man with trespassing, public drunkenness and indecent exposure after he was caught on a neighbor’s Pennsylvania farm in the nude, drinking beer among pigs.

Police in Manor Township, Lancaster County, say 64-year-old Larry Henry told them, “I just like pigs,” when they found him in the hog barn June 26 about 10:15 p.m.

Henry faces a preliminary hearing Aug. 4. His defense attorney didn’t immediately return a call for comment Wednesday.

Arrest papers show Henry had been banned from the farm since he got caught trespassing four years ago.

Police say Henry smelled of alcohol and acknowledged drinking a six-pack of beer while hanging out with the hogs.

Police say the brand of beer was in keeping with the overall theme. Henry was drinking Hamm’s.

“I just love Pigs.”

While admittedly it’s been a while since I graduated finishing school, but I’m pretty sure the mid-Pennsylvanian social miscue here is that it’s perfectly acceptable to be found naked, pounding Hamms in the middle of a pig pen…provided it’s YOUR pig pen, and YOUR pigs.  “Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s pigs”…or something like that.  At the very least, you should ring the neighbor’s doorbell, introduce yourself, and let him know that you’re an honest, respectful person who will do right by his pigs.  Just walking in with bargain beer and gearing down is not sending the right message.

PS…considered going with the “Who doesn’t have a buddy that loves taking home pigs” blog but the one buddy I had in mind is now happily married.  Given how widely disseminated this publication is, I didn’t want his wife doing the “Dan’s buddy who likes pigs?” math.  (his name may or may not rhyme with “Spruce.”)

07.15.15
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Time to stop celebrating old folk when they do useless stuff…just because they’re old.

Doris

Source– A 101-year-old woman has proved that age is just a number after breaking her own world record as the oldest abseiler.

Doris Long once again conquered 560ft-high Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth, Britain’s tallest building outside of London.  

Wind and rain did not deter Ms Long, who has been honoured with an MBE for her charity fundraising for a local charity.

Ms Long decended 310ft down the popular tourist attraction. She last performed the feat on her 100th birthday in May 2014.

The pensioner, nicknamed Daring Doris, who has previously abseiled alongside new Top Gear host Chris Evans, took up the challenge to raise money for the Rowans Hospice in Waterlooville.

Ms Long, who first abseiled at the age of 85, said: ‘I don’t feel afraid and never have, I just have a placid nature.’

The centenarian, who is 5ft tall and weighs eight stone, added: ‘I have a look down at the crowd, I am normally looking to see how the other person is getting on.’

Ms Long, who has a daughter, three grandchildren, seven great-grandchildren and two great great grandchildren, received cheers and applause from the crowds below as a band played The Proclaimers’ hit I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) as she reached the bottom of the tower.

So much for that greatest generation thing, eh?  These are the people that clawed this country out of the Great Depression, and stormed enemy beaches.  What these people don’t need is our accolades for doing extraordinary irrelevant things (that typically and almost exclusively involve gravity.)  It’s like every year when we get to see George HW Bush hop out of a plane strapped to some Navy Seal’s belly button.  I guess we’re all supposed to be impressed? Not this guy.  If George HW wants me to celebrate his ageless vibrancy, I want to see him doing things that he was doing 40 years ago.  Like sucker punching George Dubya’s tutors after getting his report card, or putting the wood to Barbs in an Oval Office desktop session.  That would be impressive.

GHWBUSH

Like ole’ Doris here. She accomplished a feat that has only been equaled a thousand times over (just this week) by Mohican window washers.  The star in this story is the maker of the harness and rope that maintained its integrity despite the strain of all 8 stones (Whatever that is?) of Doris’ person.   What would be more impressive is if we learned that Doris’ drove herself to that tower while maintaining speeds at or near the posted limit, and parked her vehicle without it crashing through the front door of a Mobil Mart.  Beyond that, there’s not much here worth mine or anyone else’s internet clicks.

07.11.15
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Back Off in #Haiku. July 6-11th, 2015

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[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been].

Backtalk:

7/6/2015

Cops killed a white guy.
No marches are organized.
White people aren’t like that.

Obama’s done well.
Stop acting like he hasn’t.
Trump is subhuman.

Cops using whistles.
Whatever happened to that?
Attention gathered.

Stop holding us back.
Liberals aren’t progressive.
Pipes are the future.

Confederate flag.
Protect it like the real one.
Part of history.

Chelmsford hates budgets.
Assessors going shopping.
Please wait for the sales.

7/8/2015

Knowledge Bowl winners.
Signs in photo distracting.
Pawns for the union.

Debate is healthy.
Free opinions important.
The Board does it right.

Take down orange flags.
Only one flag for this land.
States are United.

Dracut had fireworks.
Some towns chose to skip them.
Happy to live here.

7/9/2015

Squirrels have found me.
Take them back to the boat house.
They’re driving me nuts.

Utility guys.
Cleaned out debris around tanks.
Concerns respected.

Firefighter drove drunk.
Why haven’t I read ’bout that?
Just what’s been written.

Jimmy and Billy.
I’ll vote for them ev’ry time.
Rita too I guess.

Assessors can guess.
Improvements will add value.
Keep them out for that.

Informative call.
Should have listened all the way.
Nothing to object.

Cops gave a ticket.
Jerk in a handicap spot.
My heart still dances.

7/10/2015

Parks can be lonely.
Bussing folks to other parks.
Where friends might come from.

Stop punishing truth.
Honest candidates are rare.
Let Trump speak his mind.

Bad politician.
Donald Trump is too honest.
Wish I’d said those things.

DCF takes kids.
Foster parents are all bad.
They treat kids like props.

Fireworks ordinance.
Completely ignored again.
Police aren’t busy.

Restaurant spokesman.
Removed for being creepy.
Submarines can sink.

Paper knows prices.
Getting leads on increases.
Like they’re in the know.

7/11/2015

Sacred Heart Parish.
Didn’t have that much money.
Just socially rich.

I missed the fireworks.
Didn’t expect them early.
Loud noises surprise.

Meter enforcement.
Will lead to fewer tourists.
Folk Fest will be dead.

Squirrels are not pests.
They’re an enjoyable sight.
Like Disney movies.

Dracut Selectmen.
Not helping with any bills.
Too predictable.

Victim of drive-by.
Will Obama eulogize?
No one’s telling me.

Sound Off

Monday

Can’t use racial slurs.
But choppers have tribal names.
No one complains then.

Title IX backfired.
Money cut from basic gym.
Most girls are fat now.

Iraq had the weapons.
Delays gave time to hide them.
Convoy trucks were seen.

Obama pulled troops.
Led to the rise of ISIS.
Can’t work with this guy.

The Kurds are Muslims.
We’ve supported them for years.
Plus they live elsewhere.

Use military.
Navy seals can stop drug boats.
Special forces too.

Where is the Navy?
Special forces and Rangers?
They can stop drug flow.

Have tech students fix farm gear.
Save cash and build resumes.
Ev’rybody wins.
 
Iraq had Sarin.
A deadly gas used to kill.
So that’s a weapon.

Tuesday

Methuen fireworks.
Held on Sunday July 5th.
Head hurts from smacking.

Fireworks overkill.
Two weeks straight while babies cry.
Even in daylight.

Tony Kennedy.
He’s like a king or something.
Not sure I like that.

Minimum wage.
Supposed to be livable.
Less is slavery.

Let them build the ramp.
Haverhill doesn’t get those jobs.
Let New Hampshire pay.

Wednesday

Councilors have pets.
Special projects near their homes.
They should serve us all.

Downtown Merrimac.
What are they doing to you?
My heart is breaking.

Red Sox got better.
Catchers getting healthier.
Ladders will be climbed.

I like Donald Trump.
Blames immigrants like we should
They’re our one problem.

Recovery homes.
I’m glad there’s more being made.
Let’s not cut funding.

Cut off Mexico.
That’s where heroin is made.
Trump knows ev’rything.

Chicago weekend.
40 injured in shootings.
The Prez said nothing.

Casinos are gold.
New Hampshire will regret this.
Billions will be lost.

Thursday

Goose poop covered park.
Children running all around.
Fireworks not enjoyed.

Methuen fireworks.
Sunday chosen for traffic.
Plentiful parking.

Terminator flopped.
Schwarzenegger is too old.
Nothing to offer.

Roadside message board.
Reads “Buckle up, it’s the law.”
Change to “Don’t kill kids.”

Hospitals set rates.
ACA’s not socialist.
Like car insurance.

We all lost cable.
During women’s soccer game.
Bad time for update.

Dukakis signed bill.
Year in jail for bad guy guns.
Anybody serve that?

Teenagers harass.
Scary scumbags riding close.
Try to be careful.

Groveland officers.
Found teens who harassed woman.
Wish our cops did that.

We’ll take the flag down.
Just like we did way back then.
Get over your loss.

Fireworks illegal.
Would appreciate crackdowns.
These guys are stupid.

Deportation’s good.
Other countries can do it.
Let’s give it a shot.

More rights for us all.
We’ve more freedoms than ever.
So does big business.

Saturday

Wars are all ugly.
We’re as guilty as the rest.
Weapons only kill.

Middle class smaller.
Middle class can pay their bills.
That’s what’s important.

Sandown resident.
Unhappy with incumbents.
Wait for elections.

Jeb Bush foot in mouth.
Claims words taken the wrong way.
Clearly he meant it.

Presidents age quick.
Chris Christie is a fat guy.
Heart attacks happen.

07.04.15
by

Back Off in #Haiku. 6/29-7/4/2015

image

[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been].

Backtalk:

6/29/2015

They’re a one-trick pony.
Beating the same old dead horse.
Ride into sunset.

Confederate flag.
Important part of our past.
Let’s just learn from it.

The White House is ours.
Obama only lives there.
Tennants have no rights.

Old farm equipment.
I don’t see any appeal.
Horrible parade.

Sacred Heart condos.
Why would the church allow this?
Ugliness abounds.

Elections divide.
Board of Selectmen proves this.
Harmony unseen.

Pothole location.
Right road but wrong city.
Lowell’s looking good.

6/30/2015

Olympics will cost.
Just another scam on us.
Overpriced party.

No one cared before.
But one little massacre…
Let them keep their flag.

Trump would be better.
Can’t be worse than Obama.
Trust him completely.

7/1/2015

Try hitting adults.
That doesn’t go over well.
But you can hit kids.

Clean up sewer grates.
There’s a parade Saturday.
I want them sparkling.

Meter maids will rule.
24/7 empire.
No to Olympics.

The Prez shouldn’t preach.
My ancestors owned no slaves.
Shove your ‘redemption.’

Potholes all repaired.
Old asphalt chunks still on side.
Please get rid of those.

7/2/2015

Confederate flag.
Hung upon a black statue.
Should have kept it there.

She tore down the flag.
Sure it was vandalism.
But it should have stayed.

‘Tilted Kilt’ opens.
Like ‘Hooters’ but with good food.
Makes us look seedy.

Police called my house.
Said they have to measure it.
Might not be the case.

More housing for vets.
Glad to see them developed.
Thanks to all involved.

Driver’s license fees.
Miscellaneous small costs.
That’s somebody’s job.

Squirrels moved away.
We used to like feeding them.
No one wants my nuts.

Return your barrels.
The trucks have all come and gone.
Wind blows empty bins.

7/4/2015

Fireworks came early.
Could have waited ’til Friday.
Work in the morning.

Selectboards vary.
The last one wasn’t that good.
Power gets tripped on.

Home inspection scam.
I’m not letting anyone in.
Just unwarranted.

Home inspectors thing.
I’ll need to see some ID.
Doors remain locked shut.

Stay out of my house.
Measure outside if you want.
You’re not invited.

Sound Off

Monday

Graveyard has “ghost walks.”
Offensive to all Christians.
Spirits have left us.

No “recovery.”
The media lies to us.
No truth remaining.

Information signs.
The digital roadside ones.
Glad we have those now.

No Charleston riots.
I’m very impressed with that.
The bar is set high.

I read the paper.
It always makes me sadder.
Going back to bed.

Democrats are bad.
Gave us abortion and worse.
Unholy sleazebags.

Iraq invasion.
Wasn’t ’bout 9/11.
Saddam was no Dude.

Death penalty costs.
Nothing but a legal scam.
Life remains cheaper.

Wednesday

Transparency’s gone.
A country for lobbyists.
Blaming the voters.

Junior High graduates.
Organized ceremony.
Congratulations.

Rockets getting lost.
Millions of dollars wasted.
Let’s explore oceans.

We deserve a say.
Micromanagement unites.
Don’t shoo us away.

Saturday

Mayor hates yard sales.
City has bigger issues.
Big picture blurry.

Voting for raises.
Claiming that they work so hard.
All they ever do.

Bring back firing squads.
Make it all fancy and shit.
Not painful at all.

Highways are noisy.
Trees and barriers required.
A problem widens.

Sixty apartments.
On a two-acre parcel.
Just not realistic.