[Please note: Two newspapers publish comments from people who call into their office. The Lowell Sun has someone who tries to make sense of those calls and runs a more coherent version. The Lawrence Eagle Tribune runs the caller’s entire message give or take the racial slurs. I then take what the papers publish and translate them into haiku. This week isn’t as good as last week, but here you go.
Love,
-Rat]

Back Talk. Monday. 5/4/15.

Appleton beggers.
Walks right up and knocks on cars.
Oughta be a law.

Why send a fire truck?
Guy just had a heart attack.
Hosing down won’t help.

Westminster Village.
Hotbed of sin and evil.
People oughta know.

Did it to himself.
That’s why he died in that van.
Not much of a loss.

McD’s dumps Ronald?
Two weeks shy of Red Nose Day?
They should grow a soul.

Obama blames cops.
Just for doing their damn job.
Stop breaking the laws.

Sound Off. 5/4/15

Worked for McDonald’s.
Way back in the seventies.
It was worth it then.

Marty makes money.
600k off of us.
Why school costs too much.

College is pricey.
Too much empty management.
Learn a trade instead.

Go ahead and move.
Tantrum over casinos?
Won’t miss your dumb ass.

Glad you found you dog.
But please take your fliers down.
Makes next one stand out.

Backtalk: 5/5/2015. Tuesday.

Dracut water deal.
Big meeting this Saturday.
Delayed notices.

Over reacting.
Heartburn doesn’t need fire trucks.
Ev’ry town does this.

Union owns Council.
Has them by the testicles.
Explains Rodney’s voice.

Sound Off. Tuesday.

Sharpton and Soros.
Tax cheating friends of Barry.
Total corruption.

Salem casino.
High hopes were based on old news.
We all got wiser.

Israel’s history.
Involves lots and lots of wars.
Look up some of them.

Kids are expensive.
Stop letting them just move in.
Let’s keep school costs low.

Big guys hit big guys.
Hundreds of fights for low pay.
What boxing should be.

Backtalk: 5/6/2015

Dracut is white trash.
Ignore the lack of trailers.
They’re not Andover.

Olive Garden woes.
They need detail officers.
Wanna make a left.

Seriously man.
I just want my Endless Bowl.
Ain’t worth gettin’ killed.

Kent State Ohio.
Better parents would have helped.
Stupid protesters.

Sound Off. 5/6/2015

Tom’s no Patriot.
Patriots love their country.
Respect your leader.

We want casinos.
We’re going broke and need them.
Pretty straight forward.

Lived through Depression.
Hard work ain’t shit without jobs.
Some folks just got lucky.

Nurses are needed.
Why do the schools cut them first?
Kids are challenging.

Backtalk: 5/7/2015

Voted on Monday.
Controversy unnoticed.
Quiet election.

Peter Lucas fan.
Just expressing my fanhood.
My kind of writer.

Damn Marty Meehan.
Taking a big promotion.
Greedy ol’ sellout.

I’m not a racist.
I don’t like any looters.
Some lives don’t matter.

Six is more than two.
Triple the experience.
Must be corruption.

Backtalk: 5/8/2015

Pull your weight next time.
Maybe then you’ll get the job.
An example set.

Cost of gas is rigged.
They do it ev’ry summer.
Supplies haven’t changed.

Lucas and Malkin.
Nothing constructive offered.
Attacks without aim.

Varney Street landlord.
Legal issues should find him.
All I can ask for.

Backtalk: 5/9/2015

Brady should boycott.
Skip Roger Goodell’s party.
Champions are kings.

Cawley Stadium.
Disaster from snow dumping.
Repairs needed now.

Changing the venue.
Won’t help horse lady’s problems.
Word kind of got out.

Lib’ral media.
Hiding all the good stories.
Voters uninformed.

Sound Off. Saturday.

Can all sportswriters.
Attacking Saint Brady like that.
They hate his greatness.

Highway trees were cut.
Could have done a better job.
We look like the south.

Soros and Sharpton.
Got caught not paying taxes.
Stop blaming the Prez.

Don’t help illegals.
Why is the state doing this?
It ain’t fair or right.

Woolworth was beauty.
Don’t ruin it with classrooms.
Is nothing sacred?

Electric bill high.
We live in a mobile home.
Just doesn’t sound right.