Back Off in #Haiku. Feb 23-28, 2015.

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[Please note: after the passing of Leonard Nimoy I went back to change a couple of last lines. The original last lines have been included in brackets].

Sound Off. Monday 2/23/15.

“Innocent ’til proof.”
Only relevant in law.
Creepies don’t get jobs.

No jail for Cosby.
Doesn’t mean he’s innocent.
Means he wasn’t taped.

One-way streets downtown.
Haverhill needs to try this now.
Improve this nightmare.

VA hospitals.
Doctors and staff outstanding.
Better than their rep.

Auto inspections.
Have to hit same shop if failed.
I’d prefer vouchers.

Rejection stickers.
Some shops use them to charge more.
That happened to me.

Crusades were not good.
Literally overkill.
Insanely twisted.

Backtalk: 2/23/2015

Tewksbury snowbanks.
Blind spots at intersections.
Envying Lowell.

Taught my folks English.
Both of them were immigrants.
It’s a good language.

Immigrants are cool.
Better than white-trash landlords.
At least they shovel.

Support the trash fee.
Make people pay for something.
Nothing is for free.

Can’t afford trash fee.
No 80 percent pension.
Just a fixed income.

Deval should feel shame.
Prob’ly golfing with The Prez.
Live long and prosper.
[His fault trains don’t run].

MBTA fixed.
Trying to get more money.
For the Olympics.

Too much snow for Fest?
Is Folk Fest too darn folksy?
Let’s postpone that too.

FoxNews agenda.
No worse than other stations.
They’re just outnumbered.

Don’t blame the building.
We don’t need a new high school.
Just better students.

Sound Off. Tuesday. 2/24/15.

Rudy shouldn’t judge.
Does he love America?
The President does.

Where’s Global Warming?
I would love me some of that.
Information sought.

Boston ain’t ready.
Brits and Japan are modern.
Our trains aren’t running.

Fake car inspection.
Rejection sticker scam thing.
They don’t even call.

I’m not a ‘NIMBY.’
Trains get sued pretty often.
EPA nightmares.

Too many red lights.
Glad I’m in New Hampshire now.
No intersections.

Roof needed for school.
It’s only a decade old.
Warranty still good?

Backtalk: 2/24/2015. Tuesday.

“Discretionary.”
That seems like a loaded word.
I’ll leave it in quotes.

Threatens to resign?
Hold your breath until you’re blue?
That’s our role model?

Ain’t gettin my vote.
Trash tax for teachers is dumb.
Worst campaign ever.

I LOVED THE FIFTIES!
Protect that duck’s ass hair doo.
Ain’t wearing no hat.

Back in the fifties…
It took balls to cross a bridge.
Babushkas are smart.

Temperatures are low.
Fossil fuels keep us all warm.
Thank-you dinosaurs.

Jon Stewart ain’t news.
Comic with a lib’ral slant.
Stop kidding yourselves.

Backtalk: 2/25/2015. Wednesday.

Refund Charlie cards.
Service was too substandard.
Cancel the raises.

Light engines warm tracks.
Traffic prevents snow build-up.
‘After’ is too late.

Stop blaming Baker.
The man hasn’t sat down yet.
Clearly Deval’s fault.

Chelmsford principal.
Give that job to Tiano.
He shouldn’t be Sup.

Allard’s Grove Dracut.
Landlords want us to shovel.
We’re in our 60’s.

Sound Off. Thursday. Feb 26, 2015.

Hottest years ever.
Top 10 since 2002.
Global warming’s real.

Global warming’s fake.
Don’t arrest Phil and Elsa.
Get that fraud Al Gore.

Five million is high.
I agree we need repairs.
But I don’t have that.

Check priorities.
New field won’t bring people in.
Better schools will though.

State flag in Plaistow.
I think it’s seen better days.
Time to replace it.

Drinking in the streets.
Common back in the thirties.
Depression does that.

Backtalk: 2/26/2015. Thursday.

Too unqualified.
That’s why Beverly Scott’s gone.
She was a failure.

Bumps on Connector.
Lawsuits waiting to happen.
I want my millions.

Damn white-trash tenants.
Minorities like it here.
Treat it with respect.

I have an outhouse.
Billerica buys antique lights.
Confusion remains.

Terrorist cowards.
Hiding behind their keyboards.
While arming children.

Sound Off. Friday. Feb 27, 2015.

Chamber of Commerce.
Anniversary dinner.
Happened out of town.

“Celebrate Haverhill!
We’re a great community!
I’ll be in Plaistow!”

New safety complex.
Glad Salem got that approved.
Live long and prosper.
[Don’t get arrested.]

New safety complex
Gotta pay for it somehow.
Stores use the cops more.

Harvard tuition.
School has 30 billion banked.
They should pay their help.

Timberlane School Board.
Three rings and a few sad clowns.
Bullying the crowd.

Free speech supporters.
Not what them complainers are.
They want our signs down.

Backtalk: 2/27/2015. Friday.

6-year-old shot at.
And we still can’t hold our guns.
Law should be ashamed.

Property tax paid.
Trash collection included.
Find your fee elsewhere.

Couldn’t reach your box.
That’s why your mail didn’t come.
Live long and prosper.
[Start shov’ling you jerk.]

Department of Rev.
Couldn’t care less ’bout Chelmsford.
Should’ve checked the schools.

Red Sox gave out tix.
To folks who shoveled hydrants.
Moving to Boston.

Didn’t get my mail.
Hardly got half of my bills.
They skipped the whole street.

40 years ago.
Six trucks cleared ev’ry roadway.
Better than today.

Stewart did it fair.
Pointed out Obama’s flaws.
Balance him with Fox.

Reagan was awesome.
Ten times better than this guy.
All I’ve got to say.

Sound Off. Saturday, February 28th. MMXV.

Sandown should secede.
Just carry the the town elsewhere.
Take your kids and flee.

Methuen fieldhouse.
Major overhaul required.
Kids will all move out.

Thank-you Patricia.
For educating Clinton.
She’ll pay girls fair now.

It only gets worse.
Obamacare means less jobs.
Folks become pot heads.

Tax-and-spend lib’rals.
Let foreigners take our jobs.
Heroin helps pain.

Al Gore makes millions.
He’ll make more off carbon tax.
Fraudulent studies.

Cost of stadiums.
Real high because of labor.
Prevailing wage set.

Putin ain’t Hitler.
But he’s still a total jerk.
Elections were fixed.

Backtalk: 2/28/2015. Sat.

Good luck David Brow.
I’ve always enjoyed your pics.
Hope you keep shooting.

Sal for Chelmsford schools?
Only out to save his friend.
Won’t change anything.

We need help at home.
Enough helping other lands.
Someone tell The Prez.

Birdman beat Sniper.
Liberal Conspiracy.
Still mad ’bout Clint’s chair.

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An Editorial Against Net Neutrality… in #Haiku.

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[Please note: I kept the source material from today’s Lawrence Eagle-Tribune in to demonstrate the writing process for those who might be curious. That’s probably just Craig.]

Thirty years ago, few people outside the realms of academic research or the government had heard of something called the Internet. Now, it’s hard to imagine how we could get by without it.
~
Three decades have passed.
The internet’s quiet birth.
Now it is our blood.
~
The leap in little more than 25 years from a small network of interconnected government and academic computers used by researchers to a globe-spanning World Wide Web that provides information, instantaneous communications and an endless array of entertainment to everyone with a connection is nothing short of a revolution. It was powered by the free market, the drive by profit-motivated companies to provide their customers with a bigger, better, faster Internet experience.
~
Growth exponential.
Information changed for good.
Free market made so.
~
By the end of the day today, the revolution may be over.

In the name of fairness, the federal government will wrap its regulatory hand around the throat of the Internet, and begin to squeeze until it gets the results it desires.
~
Revolution done.
Government intervention.
Strangles free commerce.
~
The Federal Communications Commission is scheduled to vote today to establish new regulatory controls over the Internet aimed at preserving “net neutrality.” It’s a complex issue, but at its core is the idea that internet service providers — ISPs, that is, companies like Comcast and Verizon that provide Internet connections to people’s homes — must not be allowed to charge content providers — companies like Netflix and Amazon that sell us stuff, mainly videos in this context, to watch over the Internet — different rates for delivering the content at different speeds.
~
Issue too complex.
So let’s oversimplify:
Comcast wants control.
~
ISPs have long wanted to charge providers more for placing their content in a “fast lane” — which means their data-intensive, high-definition videos would play smoothly over customers’ home Internet connections. The ISPs feel justified in charging higher prices for faster service because delivering data-intensive content takes modern, upgraded networks they spent billions to build.
~
Modern speed costs more.
There’s a good reason for that.
That shit costs billions.
~
But net neutrality advocates worry that ISPs, many of which are part of larger corporate conglomerates, will use the ability to throttle data delivery speeds to favor their own content. ISP Comcast, for example, owns content provider NBC/Universal.
~
Concerns have emerged.
Networks own the internet.
Pushing own products.
~
The FCC’s solution is to reclassify all ISPs as “common carriers.” That’s the same designation applied to old-school telephone networks and means in practice that the ISPs will have to offer equal access to their networks to all content providers.
~
Remember Ma Bell.
Equal access made required.
“Common carriers.”
~
So net neutrality advocates are about to get the government regulation they have been begging for. It’s rather surprising that the same people who could imagine the potential of a world linked by interconnected computers cannot imagine a downside to opening the door to government regulation.
~
Advocates rejoice.
Government regulation.
What the fuck ya all?
~
Comcast, Verizon and the other ISPs did not invest billions upgrading their networks out of a sense of public-spiritedness. They did so to make money. And one of the ways they expected to make money was to charge content providers more for faster service. If the FCC votes as expected, that potential income stream is now gone.
~
These guys invested.
Rewards now taken from them.
Income source removed.
~
How much will ISPs invest in network upgrades in the future, if a major economic benefit of doing so is removed?
~
Investors made sad.
Motivation disappears.
No jobs created.
~
And what other “benefits” will government regulators provide in addition to “fairness”? Censorship, perhaps? How about spying? Many of the same people who cheered Edward Snowden’s expose of government email and instant message snooping are now applauding the handing of regulatory power over the entire Internet to that very same government.
~
Don’t trust government.
They’re gonna spy on your ass.
Remember Snowden?
~
Advocates for free and open access to information may be cheering today. We expect it will not be long before they rue the day the federal government took control of the Internet.
~
You will rue this day.
Sadness will befall the earth.
The end arrives soon.

Back Off in #Haiku. Feb 15-21.

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Backtalk. Sunday. 2/15/15.

Social programs help.
Much more than buckets of sand.
Buy your own bucket.

Cancel vacation.
There’s been too many snow days.
April isn’t far.

Plows are doing great.
I don’t care about whiners.
I can see pavement.

Kids shoveled out coach.
While he was hospitalized.
Says lots about them.

Chelmsford High hockey.
The students gave of themselves.
Great demonstration.

Sound Off. Monday. 2/16/15.

Jeb Bush is sexist.
His own dad won’t vote for him.
No chance of winning.

Only embellished.
Not sure about intentions.
Don’t judge him just yet.

Hillary lied too.
When she said she was shot at.
Don’t trust anyone.

Good luck Lester Holt.
The network is fully screwed.
Williams lied for Prez.

Stop plowing the school.
I like to watch drivers slide.
Cars collide slowly.

Mail boxes knocked down.
Five on one small cul de sac.
Dedicated skill.

Neighbors cleared hydrants.
Shoveled out space to work in.
Three feet all around.

Old Russian Jesus.
Wasn’t Libertarian.
That was Rand’s Jesus.

Backtalk: Tuesday. 2/17/2015

Charging a trash fee?
Property tax covers that.
Broke on fixed income.

McNamara’s good.
But the tax shouldn’t happen.
I’ll miss that nice man.

No forced volunteers.
Pay teachers to cover prom.
Or do it yourself.

Not that inspiring.
Swimsuit models don’t inspire.
They just show their butts.

Downtown anchor store.
LL Bean would bring folks in.
I’d stay there all day.

“Thought of the Day” thing.
Why did you stop running that?
Found it inspiring.

Sound Off. Wednesday.

Papers beat TV.
Newspapers give more details.
Distant visions lack.

Layover station.
Leads to lower house values.
Pollution won’t sell.

Moms should stop texting.
Especially when driving.
Kids need attention.

Bashing Fifty Shades.
Made big bank despite reviews.
Critics mean nothing.

Humor helps marriage.
I honestly think it does.
That’s all I’m saying.

Delivery guys.
Risking lives for your pizza.
Gratuities earned.

Putin ain’t that bad.
The Prez just keeps starting shit.
Fault lies with his moves.

Backtalk: 2/18/2015. Wednesday.

“Kerouac at falls.”
Do a Google image search.
Don’t think Enel has.

Opiate issues.
Economy a factor.
Looking for escape.

God’s snow machine.
He should call a mechanic.
Kill switch is gunked up.

Olympic shov’ling.
We’ve all been practicing hard.
We’ve all made the team.

Jon Stewart leaving.
More credible than “real” news.
No voice for the young.

Sand and salt the hills.
They need it more than the flats.
Main roads should come first.

Stolen pocketbook.
Returned by the Post Office.
Top that, UPS.

Backtalk: 2/19/2015

Move to New Hampshire.
That’s what bad plowing looks like.
Whining is useless.

Business does better.
Cupples Square works together.
Centralville should learn.

Trash assessment “fee.”
Call it a tax like it is.
No more playing games.

My boss is a jerk.
Won’t pay to get the roof swept.
Unsafe conditions.

Tax trash for teachers?
Or someone’s gonna walk out?
Can’t say I’ll miss him.

Lowell Sun webcam.
Glad to see that it’s working.
Now please clean the lens.

Reagan did good things.
But Ted K helped the workers.
Ronnie not so much.

Heroin’s gone now.
Eradicated by cops.
Just in Tewksbury.

Sound Off. Saturday. 2/21/15.

Reid and Pelosi.
Called our own soldiers evil.
Victories wasted.

My great-grandparents.
Moved here from Armenia.
Muslim invasion.

DeflateGate still on.
People keep bringing it up.
Please print the finding.

Layover NIMBYs.
Don’t know the EPA rules.
They can’t idle long.

Use prison labor.
Much cheaper than current rate.
No hope for new Gov.

Sick of the critics.
Mayor and Gov just took oath.
Give them a minute.

 

Back Off in #Haiku. 2/9/15-2/14/15

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(SoFC file photo)

Backtalk: Monday. 2/9/2015

Billerica Center.
Simolaris was to blame.
Now attacking schools.

City sent letters.
Telling us to clear sidewalks.
Public ones untouched.

Streets become wider.
Glad to see that happening.
Not much else to say.

Business ownership.
All OT and no bennies.
Better off bagging.

Lowell should use sand.
But we just can’t afford it.
Blame social programs.

Lucas is hacky.
“Benghazi” and “Cherokee.”
Formulaic hate.

Israel’s president.
Crimes against humanity.
Charges should be pressed.

Sound Off. 2/9/15.

I helped someone out.
You might want to do the same.
Really does feel good.

Pat’s fans hypocrites.
Still cry about Giant’s wins.
YOU get over it.

Timberlane meeting.
Limited rebuttal time.
Questions unanswered.

Superintendent.
Says the schools are looking good.
Most would disagree.

Screw your sidewalk fines.
Make the plowers do their job.
Light snow falls softly.

Sound Off. Tuesday. 2/10/15

Pro death penalty.
Just makes economic sense.
‘specially for kids.

Crusades were just.
Obama supports Islam.
Enough with Iran.

Baker’s mixed cabinet.
I’m an older democrat.
I think he did fine.

Liberal media.
Don’t provide any context.
Many things happen.

Don’t change in public.
And keep an eye on your watch.
Purses get stolen.

Backtalk. 2/10/15.

Don’t send me letters.
Just help me with the damn snow.
Help out your elders.

I’m 77.
Plows push back all that I move.
Assistance required.

Radio Shack gone.
Great sorrow fills many hearts.
Their prices were good.

Penultimate play.
An unexpected movement.
A jump or a push?

Sound Off. Wednesday. 2/11/15.

Barb’ra Anderson.
Right wing paranoid rambling.
Batshit A.D.D.

Oughta be a law.
Can’t drive during driving ban.
Penalties and shit.

Snow flies from car roofs.
Dangerous and illegal.
[also don’t tailgate].

That Mr. Campbell.
Condescending doo doo head.
We’ve studied this shit.

Blaming illegals.
They’re the reason for measles.
Not anti vaxxers.

Backtalk: 2/11/2015

Pulpits live in fear.
Political correctness.
Like The Prez wanted.

We need Pete Lucas.
Never forget Benghazi.
Value honesty.

That guy thinks he’s right.
Keeps removing managers.
The problem is him.

Electric bill up.
Seniors need a stop to this.
Must not continue.

Sound Off. Thursday, 2/12/15.

Montana’s better.
Won all his games easily.
Kickers won for Tom.

Brian Williams lied.
Sorry to hear about that.
Others did the same.

Need senior housing.
I know a great place for it.
Don’t know who owns it.

Climate change is true.
But is it reversible?
Can’t unring a bell.

Timberlane meeting.
Education supporters.
Present and vocal.

Obama’s a wuss.
King Abdullah kicked some ass.
Praise that Muslim king.

Backtalk: 2/12/2015

Lowell adult ed.
Great program with great people.
Well deserved credit.

Snowblowers aimed wrong.
Throwing it back into streets.
Roads remain covered.

Delay school instead.
No need to fully cancel.
Only Lowell does this.

Local snow totals.
Billerica was unmentioned.
Concord reads The Sun?

Senior citizens:
Through chill the pills for our ills.
Living to pay bills.

Backtalk. Friday the 13th.

Snow distribution.
Some folks have to shovel more.
Blaming The City.

Winter tailgating.
Speeding down half-plowed highways.
Relax and you’ll live.

Tennis Plaza Road.
Sixty units are leaking.
Winter came fiercely.

Enforce parking bans.
Otherwise they mean nothing.
Streets are all crowded.

Backtalk: 2/14/2015. Saturday.

Cars are parked poorly.
On both sides and near corners.
Towing should occur.

Dave Conway’s letter.
Patted ev’ryone on the back.
Never said ’bout what.

National Grid guys.
Awesome job clearing Worthen.
Thank you all for that.

MBTA boss.
Took the fall due to gender.
Clearly Baker’s fault.

Make the poor shovel.
Why should seniors deal with this?
Earn your welfare check.

Sorry Puerto Rico, but you’re not quite lottery material.

http://youtu.be/igDuYyvyrGw

Boston.com

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — Tickets in North Carolina, Puerto Rico and Texas have matched all six numbers to split a $564.1 million Powerball jackpot, lottery officials said Thursday.

Sue Dooley, senior drawing manager and production coordinator for the Multi-State Lottery Association, said the Puerto Rico ticket was the first Powerball jackpot winner ever sold outside the continental United States.

Puerto Rico joined Powerball less than a year ago. Besides 44 states and Washington, D.C., the game is also played in the Virgin Islands, but there has never been a jackpot winner there, Dooley said.

The Texas Lottery posted on Twitter early Thursday that one of the winning tickets was sold at Appletree Food Mart in Princeton, Texas. There was no immediate information on the cities or stores that produced the winners in North Carolina or Puerto Rico.

Puerto Rico?  WTF?  When did this happen?  Like it’s one thing to tell us that we’re probably going to be splitting the jackpot with at least four other methheads from some of those states that were invented just to prolong slavery.  But it’s another thing to throw the Puerto Rico’s and the Guam’s of the world into the mix all willy-nilly at the last minute and think that nobody will notice.  I for one would have strategized differently.

But more importantly, allowing Puerto Rico to participate in Powerball is against the spirit of the lottery.  Besides that fact that they’re not really a state, lottery jackpots are intended for really downtrodden, desperate losers so we can be assured that their winnings make it back into the economy in the form of dirt bikes for all their buddies.  At that, I’ve never met a downtrodden, desperate Puerto Rican in my life.  They’re like the happiest people on earth.  They’re a piously devout, family oriented tribe of people.  They seem to live each day like its Saturday, and they can turn a mid-summer, gridlocked traffic jam into a Reggaeton dance-off with nothing more than a 1991 Toyota Tercel and a ¼ tank of gas.  I’m sorry, but they just don’t fit the mold of lottery winners.  The lottery is about giving false hope to people with no hope.

When did we get so bad at cheating in youth sports?

LittleLeaguer

Washington Post

Jackie Robinson West, the Chicago-area team that won the U.S. championship in the Little League World Series last summer, has been stripped of its title after an investigation found the team used ineligible players in an attempt to build a super-team.

The Chicago South Side team, whose players were African-American and raised hopes that the game would enjoy a resurgence among young blacks, was found to have used players who live outside its geographic area. On Wednesday morning, Little League International announced its decision, saying that the U.S. championship would now go to the Mountain Ridge team from Las Vegas. Its investigation determined that Jackie Robinson West used a falsified boundary map and that team officials met with neighboring Little League districts in Illinois to claim players.

“As our Little League operations staff learned of the many issues and actions that occurred over the course of 2014 and prior, as painful as this is, we feel it a necessary decision to maintain the integrity of the Little League program. No team can be allowed to attempt to strengthen its team by putting players on their roster that live outside their boundaries.”

Chris Janes, vice president of the Evergreen Park Athletic Association on Chicago’s South Side, told Chicago’s ABC affiliate that his group was suspicious of the super-team, especially after JRW outscored it 43-2 in a little over four innings in a sectional playoff game.

OOOOOH.  The old redistricting trick.  I haven’t seen that move since Gordon Bombay selfishly crushed the career of a budding Adam Banks so that he could play him on a wing next to a shitty skating Charlie Conway…just to silence his inner demons because he once hit the post as a 10 year-old. (Or perhaps because Hans once dropped a digit on him.)  Youth sports are so easy to cheat at it’s surprisingly remarkable how bad some people are at doing it.  By all means, draw your own maps, forge birth certificates, or even sell a couple dozen boxes of crackle candy bars to cover the freight for smuggling some cherubic looking, teen-aged Dominicans into the country to lock down your middle infield.   But whatever you do, DO NOT beat anybody 43-2.  When you quadruple mercy rule someone, it doesn’t matter if you’re cheating or not.  Your vanquished opponent will do whatever they can to crop-dust your trophy case with the stench of their shame.  (See Indianapolis Colts) I’ve seen it a thousand times.

BTW, even though I credited Gordon Bombay above, the real originators of the re-districting move was the sage gentleman over at Callery Park Baseball back in the early 90’s that saw a young @pistoffIrishman in the pipeline of backstops, and realized it would be impossible to make it to Williamsport with a kid trying to signal curveballs with sausage fingers, so they convinced Chelmsford to annex Van Greenby street for the duration of tryouts so they could call up a 9 year old, with power from both sides of the plate.  True story.