Back Off in #Haiku. 1/26-1/31/15

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Backtalk: 1/26/2015

Marky Mark’s pardon.
It he was black they’d give it.
They never do time.

Chelmsford taxpayers.
Fire that damn sonovabitch.
He can’t run our schools.

Pepperell Highway helped.
Removed a recycling bin.
Small request fulfilled.

That cartoonist sucks.
The person from Florida?
Free and overpaid.

Pats in Seattle?
That ain’t where the big game is.
All kinds of problems.

Nothing’s ever free.
Fifty years of high taxes.
Obama degrees.

Bacon scratch tickets.
Hope the payoffs don’t smell good.
I’d never cash it.

Sound Off Jan 26

Pats were innocent.
Investigators found nothing.
Haters run along.

Media trial.
Sportswriters hate winning teams.
Something to prove now.

Methuen taxes.
Making us seniors angry.
I’m a homeowner.

January ends.
Limited amounts of snow.
Budgets still wiped out.

Holy Family.
Polite and professional.
All one could ask for.

Both teams had same balls.
Don’t get what the big deal is.
I’m wicked informed.

Backtalk: 1/27/2015

Reagan and YouTube.
He’d never waste his time there.
He’d have gone to France.

Police logo change.
Made after we bought the cars.
Should have been before.

Cobblestones should go.
They’re ugly and intrusive.
My dad broke a heel.

The Prez hates babies.
Said he’d block H.R. 7.
That makes him pro-death.

Gronkowski spikes balls.
That’s what makes them have less air.
Saw it in a meme.

I’d vote for Romney.
I’m still a true Democrat.
At least he ain’t Bush.

Sound Off 1/27

Not really a gun.
Still counts as armed robbery.
But not possession.

Just mental illness.
She’s not a real Satanist.
Let her get some help.

Guns used for self-harm..
Quickest means for suicide.
No time to rethink.

Leave young kids at home.
They don’t need to see prison.
Hard questions after.

NFL footballs.
Refs should hold them for both teams.
Trust is for suckers.

Timberlane School Board.
Let’s just shut the whole thing down.
No more pettiness.

Sound Off 1/28

Lawrence parking ban.
I’d like to see it enforced.
Plows have work to do,

Don’t quite get the rush.
These are normal household things.
Why wait to buy them?

Clean off your car roof.
Could really cause some problems.
Police should stop you.

Support driving ban.
Makes the plowing easier.
And you won’t get stuck.

Atlantic City.
Casinos never helped it.
Shit hole since day one.

Don’t pick on the Pats.
Have empathy for their fans.
They deserve to win,

Over 55.
Tax break for senior housing.
Not condo owners.

Pay some attention.
Then you’d know ’bout parking bans.
Or at least the storm.

Oughta be a law.
Only essential people,
Can drive during storms.

Enough with the hype.
Just cover the damn weather.
No more preemptions.

’78 yo.
That storm kicked this puppy’s ass.
The moon’s what did it.

’78 yo.
We wanted more pro sports teams.
Let’s build casinos.

About Paterno.
He gave info to his boss.
All you can ask for.

Backtalk: 1/29/2015

Sun writer Feathers.
Nice work on overdoses.
Lucas whines too much.

Overselling storms.
A practice which needs to end.
No one’s buying it.

Walmart in Chelmsford.
Not as good as it could be.
Unenjoyable.

MB price increase.
Have to pay for the buyout.
Understandable.

Should change the slogan.
“More is Less for your Dollar.”
Paying off that debt.

Starving the Russians.
That’s why gas is two dollars.
Increases coming.

Pats cheating is sad.
Why can’t they win honestly?
Cheering for Seahawks.

Backtalk: 1/30/2015

Helped out of snowbank.
Just two random guys out there.
Faith in the humans.

More heroin deaths.
We don’t need a damn pot farm.
Drugs are killing us.

Firefighters clubhouse.
Sidewalks haven’t been shoveled.
Kind of surprising.

We need flame throwers.
The old ones from World War Two.
That’ll melt the snow.

Let inmates shovel.
Drive them to the fire hydrants.
They have it easy.

Old police cruisers.
Huge Buicks and Le Sabres.
That’s what we need now.

Backtalk: 1/31/2015

Stopping at stop signs.
Pretty sure sanders should do that.
Not happening though.

Living on a hill.
Right of way goes to climbers.
That can be tricky.

Side streets don’t look good.
Plowing was impossible.
Home owners lazy.

Billing department.
No longer doing billing.
Have to bill yourself.

High school sports pages.
The Sun should give more box scores.
Like Worcester’s doing.

Tax forms coming slow.
Computers just aren’t that fast.
Faster the old way.

Please don’t call us “guys.”
We’re a table of old broads.
Ladies get respect.

Sound Off: 1/31/2015

Turn off your TV.
Stop crying about what’s on.
Look at your sad life.

Timberlane School Board.
Bunch of immature boob heads.
Bring the old guys back.

Made a call for help.
Methuen folks responded.
Friggin’ love this town.

Snow on a car roof.
Blue lights blinking fast and bright.
Highlight of my week.

I want a tax break.
Old enough but own a house.
Seems pretty backwards.

Shovel out hydrants.
Could be your house that’s burning.
Save firefighters time.

McDonald’s business down.
Backlash for labor issues.
Pay your people more.

Salem school budget.
School Committee can’t change that.
They don’t get a say.

Back Off in #Haiku. 1/19-1/24/15

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[Please note. The Lawrence paper changed their format so things might have gotten scrambled. Sorry.]

Backtalk: 1/19/2015

Fuel fluctuations.
Show vulnerability.
We’re at their mercy.

Damn that Obama.
Health care and education?
Nothing but evil.

Liz Warren is fake.
Not even really Tribal.
Harvard should know that.

Chelmsford house cleaning.
Whole school administration.
Starting from the top.

Season is over.
Decorations should come down.
Santa came and went.

The Prez is Muslim.
He’s way to laid back ’bout things.
That’s what they’re known for.

Prez hates this country.
Common core ruined the schools.
Smarten up morons.

Tiano should quit.
Went to England for the DoE.
The problems are here.

Tyngsboro roads suck.
The Sun’s article was right.
Can’t wait for paving.

Sound Off, Monday Jan 19

Protest on highway.
Brought to you by Occupy.
Liberal elite.

Heroin issues.
Epidemic proportions.
Don’t legalize weed.

Jail the drug dealers.
Why aren’t they just doing that?
That’d save a few lives.

Drug dealers hate work.
Laziest bastards alives.
Time to start hustling.

Obama hates Christ.
Plus freedom guns and police.
He’s a terrorist.

Lock up drunk drivers.
Nobody ever does that.
Sentence all addicts.

Mayor of Haverhill.
Access station firings.
Malarkey afoot.

Smoke means big huge flames.
Public Access is burning.
Shawn Regan reports.

Baby formula.
Stolen with what intentions?
Starving babe or drugs?

Sound Off, Tuesday

Romney got it right.
Half the country doesn’t work.
We ain’t your mommy.

Government payees.
Lots of retirees and vets.
Mitt hates this country.

Salem High leaders.
Upset about bad rating.
Chastise kids for same.

Haverhill library.
New director now in place.
Thievery should stop.

Gas prices vary.
Shop around and save a bit.
Haffner’s supports you.

Sound Off Wednesday

Pick one of your kin.
Tell them you don’t like taxes.
And you’d rather they die.

Cosby’s innocent.
‘Victims’ took their sweet ass time.
Like they’re traumatized.

If I was like robbed.
I’d tell the police right quick.
Cosby’s innocent.

Timberland’s Metzler.
Got into some big program.
Hacks will do his job.

Stadium needed.
Methuen’s is crumbling down.
Old folks need to pee.

Democrats’ blame game.
Always bring up the Tea Party.
They’re not relevant.

Lib’ral media.
Always making us look bad.
We’re not obstructing.

This Prez won’t play nice.
Just gonna keep screwing us.
He’s the divider.

Dumb Kool Aid drinkers.
I will say this like a chant.
Irony be damned.

Cars park in fire lane.
And take up handicap spots.
Never get tickets.

Baby formula.
Stolen due to street value.
There’s no starving kids.

Use water cannons.
That should remove protesters.
We have laws dammit!

My clothes won’t fit me.
I’m blaming those Chinese kids.
We need more sizes.

Pentucket Scool board.
No ‘World class education.’
Ignore letterhead.

Victims often wait.
Doesn’t mean they weren’t attacked.
Plenty of reasons.

Prez is desperate.
Tax the rich despite loopholes.
They’ll find a way out.

Brady ain’t that good.
Field goal kickers won those Bowls.
Still a good guy though.

Soren Monclova.
Robbed pizza shop at gun point.
Without a license.

Backtalk: 1/22/2015

Taxes going up.
The 47 percent?
They should start paying.

Grocery prices.
Market Basket increases.
We need a Wegman’s.

Don’t fight the pipeline.
Only adds to legal fees.
Bend over and take it.

George Landfill owners.
Lots of taxes owed to town.
High school needs new roof.

School Department steals.
Less money left for road work.
Drop those thieving bums.

Chelmsford should start fresh.
We’re just a sad small city.
School needs drawing boards.

Backtalk: 1/23/2015

Strict gun laws in France.
40 percent fewer deaths.
We can’t lecture them.

Stop taxing the rich.
It just isn’t fair to them.
Hit up the lazy.

More than skin color.
Not your main identity.
Show some character.

Tiano should leave.
Take all his cronies with him.
I don’t want him here.

1st Amendment’s dumb.
Let’s people say some mean things.
Leave the gods alone.

Backtalk: 1/24/2015

Rep Marc Lombardo.
Having more closed-door meetings.
Wants transparency.

MB prices up.
Food quality still down.
Blame the bonuses.

Gas prices went up.
Righties blamed the President.
Thank him when they drop.

“Drill baby drill” chants.
Sarah Pailin got it right.
Give her some credit.

Civil War cannons.
Lowell Cemetery lot.
Kids should field trip that.

Saturday Sound Off

Underinflated.
How I handle my ego.
This is about me.

Patriots are bad.
More evil than the Yankees.
Feeling deflated.

Abortion protest.
Started as a peaceful march.
Doesn’t get covered.

Hold off on station.
Casino money comes soon.
We’ll buy safety then.

Lawrence town Council.
Too embarrassing to watch.
Let’s vote for grown ups.

Back Off in #Haiku. 1/12-1/17/15.

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Backtalk: 1/12/2015

Electric increase.
Hundred bucks at Christmas time.
I’m not using much.

Chelmsford don’t plow.
Lowell does a better job.
That’s saying something.

Bills in magazines.
While does the mailman do that?
I don’t read those mags.

Varnum Avenue.
I don’t care if it’s winter.
I want that paved now.

Peter Lucas fan.
Read that column ev’ry day.
Chain him to his desk.

Rita O’Brien.
Going for nomination.
Hoping she gets it.

Sound Off Jan 12

NIMBY’s cry too much.
Layover station will help you.
Leave Plaistow faster.

Bomb the terrorists.
Paris needs to find homelands.
Kill their families.

Unions can brake bones.
That’s a legal right I think.
They can just hurt you.

Romney lied again.
He said no more Prez campaigns.
Need better pennies.

Backtalk: 1/13/2015

The Prez skipped Paris.
Doesn’t care ’bout terrorists.
Stay off my golf course.

Politicians game.
All just scratching the right back.
No spines in the way.

Open Meeting laws.
Fresh off a violation.
Kind of transparent.

Sound Off Jan 13

Public Access shows.
Just the same ones getting looped.
Haverhill needs drama.

Buy American.
Plenty of goods made local.
Stop being selfish.

Cost of food went up.
That’s just how inflation works.
Don’t blame Artie T.

Lottery tickets.
Buy them at the liquor store.
Sometimes they screw up.

Actual backyard.
This isn’t a NIMBY thing.
Way too literal.

Backtalk: 1/14/2015

Paris needs more guns.
That shit never happens here.
Give or take monthly.

No free diplomas.
Just remove the high interest.
We need that money.

Westford Manager.
Helped me out personally.
Thank-you Jodi Ross.

Big spending problem.
Baker said about the state.
Chelmsford follows suit.

Lowell jaywalkers.
Getting hit like they deserve.
Not the driver’s fault.

Chelmsford history.
Being destroyed ev’ry day.
Shame cries in silence.

Sound Off Jan 14

It’s ‘terrorism.’
Prez called it ‘workplace violence.’
He’d let them go free.

You’re not all heroes.
Bunch of keyboard patriots.
Get over yourselves.

New police station.
Stop whining about taxes.
Get modern safety.

Obama Kool Aid.
Romney refused his paycheck.
That makes him a saint.

Vote no confidence.
Lawrence councilors should grow up.
Old mayor is gone.

Backtalk: 1/15/2015

Trees at Saint Anne’s Church.
Removed for safety concerns.
New saplings in spring.

Parking spaces gone.
Baseball field made in its place.
Don’t have balls to walk.

Double solid lines.
Routinely getting ignored.
Laws need enforcement.

Ain’t no free schoolin’
Barrack Hussein Obama.
Screwin’ us again.

What about people?
You think we want Olympics?
Real Folks don’t want that.

Lot of DINO’s here.
Charlie Baker hired a few.
Deval predicted.

Sound Off Jan 15

Qualified workers.
That’s why the state wants unions.
Good workers earn more.

Three to Mike Brown’s wake.
Nobody went to Paris.
Mixed priorities.

Pipelines have grown old.
Rust wrapped in old asbestos.
Change loosens time’s grip.

Cable rates increase.
Comcast mistakes wealth levels.
Blaming the City.

Romney’s still a dick.
47 percent know.
Prob’ly more than that.

Mitt’s unqualified.
Need more than empty gestures.
Glad he didn’t win.

Blindly voting ‘D’?
Liz Warren scares me to tears.
Hiding ‘neath blankets.

Backtalk: 1/16/2015

Olympic logo.
I want the pretty sailboat.
Boring is ugly.

The Prez skipped Paris.
Had to watch football playoffs.
He’s American.

Lowell High concert.
Kids did a helluva job.
Great talent displayed.

Scooter on Green Street.
It should take up a full spot.
Not a real spot there.

Backtalk: 1/17/2015

Don’t go to Paris.
You’re only gonna get killed.
Don’t blame Obama.

Traffic jam was dumb.
Commuters lives matter too.
Lost my respect there.

No free MCC.
But Cowan’s right if need be:
3.0 required.

Tiano’s statement:
“All things should be transparent.”
Clearly he should go.

Hey Adam Levine, Get the f’ out of my wedding!

Adam Levine

Stupid Huffington Post

Sorry Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn, Adam Levine just made wedding crashing a lot more awesome.

The 35-year-old Maroon 5 frontman, who married model Behati Prinsloo in July, decided to spice up other couples’ big days by crashing weddings all over Los Angeles on Dec. 6.

The result is the video for the band’s hit song “Sugar,” off their 2014 album “V.”

“David Dobkin, who is an awesome director and a really dear, dear friend, decided to revisit the concept of obviously the original ‘Wedding Crashers,'” Levine told Access Hollywood last month. “The only difference being we actually crashed weddings this time!”

“[We] literally showed up and played songs for these guys. They were surprised,” he added.

How about the balls on this Adam Levine, cat? Like it was one thing when he tried to convince the world that it was his calling to sing Christmas tunes despite being 4000% Jewish, but now he wants us to believe that he and his Maroon 5 pals have enough street juice to organically crash weddings with their fuck-all jams? Stop it. I’d be willing to bet that these bridal parties would be happier to see a “Black Lives Matter” dance floor sit-in than getting their ears raped by Maroon Five. And I do realize that music is all subjective and that perhaps I am being incredibly harsh. But weddings are weddings. Paul McCartney could sneak out onto the parquet with his bass for a stripped down version of Hey Jude and half the function hall would be bullshit because he’s not singing “Shout” and is stealing the bride’s thunder. Paul would never do that though. And to be fair, Adam Levine isn’t the worst person in this video:

There’s this guy…who almost made it through the ceremony without his “tendencies” bubbling to the surface…

StraighWhiteguy.

This guy, the most implausible “black guy seeing Adam Levine” reaction ever…

unlikelybrother

Asian folk selling out for a Maroon 5 video by dancing like white folks….

asian dancing

White folks selling out for a Maroon 5 video dancing like the Asian folks….

whitebreakdancer

Then this guy… for not sacking up and telling Adam Levine to hit the bricks.

realguy

Back Off in #Haiku. 1/5-1/10/15

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[Please note: let the Olympics come to Boston/Lowell. Let them threaten to tear down some old dugout in Chelmsford. Allow them to entertain the notion of housing the athletes in Plaistow. Please? It’ll be nine solid years of material and they might even fix the Rourke Bridge for us ].

Backtalk: 1/5/2015

Protesters should read.
Starting with those signs they hold.
Enough is enough.

Lowell tax increase.
Can’t afford that on social.
Thanks so fucking much.

Beer on a Sunday.
All the bars can be open.
Let the stores sell some.

Loved the article.
Alexandra Coppola.
Really good story.

Open Meeting Law.
Bastards ignored it again.
Too much arrogance.

Suppprt the workers.
They earned ev’ry penny.
Their risk rewarded.

Sound Off Jan 5

News means it’s recent.
Obama/Ayers is old.
Scalise/Klan just broke.

Gates is generous.
Stop hating all billionaires.
They’re all like Bill Gates.

I envy the rich.
I’m sure all smart people do.
Let’s play some baseball.

Raise the drinking age.
Put it up around thirty.
Young people are dumb.

Backtalk: 1/6/2015

Tewksbury Center.
It needs to be prettier.
What investors want.

Beautiful baby.
First Lowell child born this year.
Aging already.

Had fun at Lo Kai.
Only 25 a head.
Favors included.

Sound Off Jan 6

Jeb Bush shouldn’t run.
I want a Republican.
But that name is cursed.

Gates followed Turner.
Most billionaires aren’t that nice.
Ball flew past your head.

Prices all went up.
Artie T. lied to us all.
Up by 4 percent.

Unions aren’t choices.
Employees forced to pay in.
Funds go to campaigns.

Smoking age went up.
What about the drinking age?
Kids suck at drinking.

Backtalk: 1/7/2015

Lowell’s “Sister City.”
Visitors sent to Phnom Penh.
That took forty years?

Make-A-Wish bowling.
Crew De Lowell fundraiser.
Donations helpful.

Gas prices came down.
What about ev’rything else?
Gas blamed for raises.

Trees at Saint Anne’s Church.
All of them were taken down.
Reason not disclosed.

Sound Off Jan 7

Prices stayed the same.
We just lost a good discount.
Art was being nice.

Uncoop’rative.
Don’t have to like the Mayor.
But just work with him.
-Lawrence

Methuen tax rate.
They think my home’s worth more now.
Insult to maiming.

Stop blaming the rich.
They don’t create poverty.
Bad life choices do.

Unions gave us rights.
40 hour week and much more.
Read Sinclair’s ‘Jungle.’

Backtalk: 1/8/2015

Chelmsford government.
More corrupt than federal.
Incompetent too.

Chelmsford Manager.
Destroying our history.
Go back to Harvard!

Ev’ry life matters.
Just learn to obey the cops.
Have you seen “They Live”?

Dracut tax increase.
Adding to our homelessness.
No bridge to live ‘neath.

Tea Party “scandals.”
Benghazi VA healthcare.
Not really scandals

Lowell tax increase.
Pensions were managed poorly.
Shouldn’t have happened.

Sound Off Jan 8

Layover protest.
Good size turnout on cold day.
Make it in their state.

The Cardillo Post.
Great org for Italian kids.
We’re all older now.

Two types of homeless:
Those who choose and those who don’t.
Both types need some help.

Don’t whine about Art.
The discount was generous.
Crybabies bug me.

Leave Artie alone.
Don’t know where you’re buying stuff.
But MB’s still cheapest.

Backtalk: 1/9/2015

Delay would have worked.
Didn’t have to cancel school.
Weather heated up.

12 percent pay raise.
To people who never worked.
Social went up squat.

Put up blue candles.
Show support for the police.
‘specially Roxanne.

Sound Off Jan 9

Bring the layover.
Plaistow is the perfect place.
Nothing to ruin.

Plaistow needs Mass trains.
Northern plates in Haverhill lots.
Save yourselves the trip.

Support the pipeline.
Already have tons of it.
What’s a little more?

Protesting commies.
Saw ‘Revcom’ sign at rally.
That’s who’s against pipes.

Rich cause poverty.
Other factors are minor.
Greed isn’t healthy.

Backtalk: 1/10/2015

Chelmsford school board.
Tiano and McWilliams.
They both need to go.

Roadrunner service.
Drivers are nice and helpful.
Forgot about that.

Sending diplomats.
Lowell to Cambodia.
Just a vacation.

Chelmsford history.
Demolished without a care.
Shame of the present.

People whine too much.
Artie could give food away.
They’d ask ’bout gluten.

Sam Adams and Why We Need To Stop Listening to Hipsters

My new best friend….even though we’ve never met or shared a beer.

Anti-Hero Brewing

The phenomenal beer writer Andy Crouch penned this interesting (and if you’re of the TL;DR generation, long) piece about Boston Beer Company, its founder Jim Koch, and their overall place in The Craft Beer Movement™. If you’re interested in beer – and since you’re reading some shithead’s homebrewing blog, I’m gonna assume you are – you should take the time to read the whole article. But the long-and-short (or TL;DR) of the piece is that despite being the founder of the Craft Beer Movement™, Sam Adams is being “left behind” by the shifting tastes of craft beer drinkers and the changing marketplace.

Crouch talks to a lot of respected industry folks and gathers a lot of perspectives and opinions for this piece and presents them fairly and evenly. The article starts with Koch essentially pitching a shit-fit in a Boston bar called Row 34 (full disclosure: never been. It’s an…

View original post 1,261 more words