[Please note: My death will probably involve looking down at clouds and overestimating their ability to catch me. Also, these are just translations and do not reflect my own opinions (although the one about Wignall’s Animal Hospital and the one about the person who returned the purse seem nice. And I’m sure the kid who gave the tooth fairy money to charity is a good kid… depending on the charity. Anyway here’s some haiku.]

Backtalk: 12/1/2014

Commodore Ballroom.
Bring it back to Thorndike Street.
Where the smokestack was.

White cop killed a kid.
That doesn’t make him racist.
Racist to think so.

Chelmsford school issues.
Nepotism at its worst.
Cronyism too.

Cops should move around.
Cover ev’ry area.
Basic math be damned.

Jesse James robbed banks.
Chelmsford school board robs the rest.
They need mustaches.

Bring busses downtown.
That’ll bring businesses back.
Such as La Boniche.

Billerica Common.
Delay caused by contractors.
Selectmen are fine.

Hire black officers.
Then there’s no more excuses.
Own up for your crimes.

Backtalk: 12/2/2014

Cost of gas dropping.
No thanks to the President.
High rates were his fault.

Chelmsford town meeting.
School board came off arrogant.
Yet incompetent.

Okay with protests.
Long as stores don’t get looted.
That part don’t make sense.

Someone found my purse.
Gave it to Market Basket.
Much appreciated.

Rodney’s street got paved.
But not Varnum Avenue.
Near the hospital?

Sound Off Dec 2, 2014

Snow flies from your roof.
Blinds the driver behind you.
You lazy asshole.

Just clean your roof off.
Only takes you ten minutes.
Don’t kill anyone.

Stricter laws needed.
Drunk drivers just keep driving.
Lock their asses up.

Anonymity.
Practical reason for it:
Job security.

Income gap still high.
So are you if you doubt this.
Top guys don’t earn it.

Harvard don’t pay shit.
Richest school in the whole world.
Cheating housekeepers.

Backtalk: 12/3/2014

Chelmsford school money.
Untraceable decisions.
I want heads to roll.

The Constitution.
Doesn’t say Prez can change shit.
A white Prez couldn’t.

Illegals flooding.
Making them legal won’t help.
They’ll just keep coming.

Holiday homework.
Why do teachers give so much?
Ease up on the kids.

Fire station demoed.
Despite potential buyers.
No one ever learns.

Chelmsford vote taken.
Bailing out school board again.
Ev’rything is wrong.

Business manager.
Still enjoying his paid leave?
A rug grows lumpy.

Sound Off Dec 3

Plow guys want more pay.
Pay them based on the work done.
Save the town money.

Methuen Mayor.
Doesn’t think anything through.
Gotta play nicer.

Methuen Mayor.
Don’t start shooting your mouth off.
State doesn’t like that.

Notre Dame fan here.
From back when they were Irish.
Should go back to that.

A team full of micks.
It’s the only way they’ll win.
This isn’t high school.

Diesel trucks smell bad.
They should be regulated.
I don’t think they are.

I too am quite old.
Remember smaller pay gaps?
One-percenters suck.

Backtalk 12/4/2014

The market is up.
Unemployment cut in half.
Blaming Obama.

Cops should profile more.
All of our lives are at stake.
-Daily Sun reader.

Deval raised taxes.
And plans to do even worse.
The next Obama.

Thanks National Grid.
Fixed power lines in one day.
Sorry New Hampshire.

I had a loose tooth.
Fairy gave me a dollar.
I donated it.

Administrators.
The three laid off in Chelmsford.
Give them their jobs back.

Sound Off Dec 4

NFL players.
Speaking out on Ferguson.
But not on Ray Rice.

Graffiti ain’t art.
It’s property destruction.
Stop inhaling fumes.

I demand Christmas.
Screw your “Happy Holidays.”
God will kick your balls.

Lot of work to do.
Need to overhaul tax code.
Close a few loopholes.

Still more work to do.
Illiterate immigrants?
Get ’em all working.

Bit more work to do.
Pregnant drug addicted teens?
Should cut back on those.

Campsites for homeless.
Cops keep clearing people out.
Doesn’t solve problem.

Backtalk: 12/5/2014

I’m not a tax cheat.
Property values went down.
Taxes should have too.

“Legal” immigrants.
All will be cheating welfare.
I hate Obama.

Fire house sans alarm.
They forgot to put it in.
That might not be true.

McCarthy School gym.
Ain’t been cleaned in like three years.
I’m so embarrassed.

This country needs God.
Vote out those who disagree.
God needs all our help.

Sound Off Dec 5

Stop hating the rich.
They earned it all by hard work.
You’re the greedy ones.

The rich and the poor.
All have the same starting line.
You all chose to fail.

Talk about the wealth gap.
Obama just makes it worse.
Blame the immigrants.

Taxing rich won’t help.
Problem is social programs.
None of those things work.

Taxes going up.
I moved north to avoid this.
We need casinos.

Cops wearing cameras?
Absolute waste of money.
Educate parents.

Backtalk: 12/6/2014

Wignall Hospital.
Kind and supportive to us.
Gratitude expressed.

Lowell Memorial.
Needs restrooms on each level.
ADA says so.

Protests way back when.
I was alive at that time.
History repeats.

Chelmsford throws out cash.
Half a mil on the fire house.
Bums should be removed.

Cops are humans too.
Enough with the protesting.
We all make mistakes.

Protesters have rights.
But shouldn’t have that many.
Nothing that is black.

Take pictures of them.
Show them how dumb they all look.
Nothing is changing.

“Talk down not take down?”
New York’s making wussy cops.
Thugs must be destroyed.

Six-five two-ninety.
Trying to take a cop’s gun.
That will get you shot.

Sound Off Dec 6

‘Christmas Stroll’ name changed.
I’m not going to ‘Chill Fest.’
To hell with this town.

Name change won’t help us.
Just alienates Christians.
I’m staying home now.

Christmas is Christmas.
What if there isn’t a chill?
Then ‘Chill Fest’ sounds dumb.

World War II vet here.
The rich are all greedy jerks.
Damn right they should pay.

Welfare pays too much.
They get two-hundred a day.
That’s thirty an hour.

Stop building condos.
Not enough parking as is.
No one wants to walk.