Back Off in #Haiku. 11/17-22/14.


[I don’t think I’ve explained the gimmick here recently. Basically two local papers run daily collumns made from anonymous angry people who leave messages on an answering machine set up for this purpose. I then take what they publish and translate it into haiku. Here you go. Also, you know how somewhere out in Buffalo under 12 feet of snow there’s probably a guy who decided to jump out of his second story window to make a snow angel and is now stuck in a pretty deep snow pit with no clue how to get out and thinking “at least I’ll be remembered?” This is dedicated to him. Gotta love that bastard].

Backtalk: 11/17/2014

Black kids don’t study.
That’s why their grades are lower.
Decades continue.

National Grid sucks.
Energy monopolized.
Officials useless.

Jaywalking problem.
Sat through six damn sets of lights.
Students will get hit.

Sound Off Nov 17

New Hampshire’s stupid.
Voting in a Democrat.
We’re worse than Mass now.

Government corrupt.
Can’t wait till Obama’s gone.
We’ll throw a party.

Albert E. Thomson.
Got a school named after him.
Glad kids know of him.

No real actors left.
Replaced by other artists.
Timing’s what matters.

Hard drugs kill people.
Hundred plus so far this year.
Don’t legalize pot.

Kill all drug dealers.
People are dead from their shit.
That cures addiction.

Backtalk: 11/18/2014

Called voters “whiners.”
He can’t say that about us.
Let’s vote his ass out!

Jaywalking problems.
Kids think they have right-of-way.
Lights are not dawning.

Blow-ins hate old stuff.
No respect for tradition.
Save the fire station.

Westminster smoke ban.
Put all smokers in one room.
Kill themselves slowly.

Sound Off Nov 18

School shootings happen.
Methuen is right to prep.
Cops got that one right.

Stop preparing kids.
And cops should drive unmarked cars.
What would Lawrence think?

Too many school vacays.
Not a nation-wide habit.
Choose winter OR spring.

Haverhill taxes high.
They’re “skyrocketing” if you will.
Vote all the bums out.

Support the shutdown.
Only time things don’t get worse.
They suck at their job.

Backtalk: 11/19/2014

Billerica beats Chelmsford.
We’re building a new high school.
Real estate should boom.

Chelmsford school board.
No one ever tells them ‘no.’
Money has run out.

Billerica center.
The sign will give credit to George.
Ev’ryone knows George.

Flu season is here.
Don’t forget to wash your hands.
And use that soap stuff.

Sound Off Nov 19

People hate Jesus.
And they don’t believe in him.
They should just shut up.

Massholes all moved north.
Changing the tint of our votes.
Now we suck like them.

Southern New Hampshire.
Nothing but Massholes who moved.
To avoid taxes.

No parking on Main.
White lines make it a highway.
Lined with businesses.

Global warming’s fake.
That’s why they’re changing the term.
Climate change my ass.

Merrimack college.
Making elitists feel hurt.
I’m okay with that.

Backtalk: 11/21/2014

No monopoly.
Can buy energy elsewhere.
Some homework required.

Called me a ‘whiner.’
I can’t believe he said that.
Let’s all whine louder.

Taxpayers don’t whine.
We just want what we pay for.
Nothing new with that.

Stop your damn whining.
Pipeline needed for cheap gas.
Most of us want it.

Billerica Center.
Voters all voted on it.
Confusion settled.

Democrat Moulton.
Now in Congress on our dime.
Our towns will all melt.

People hate this Prez.
Voters don’t want compromise.
They want overhaul.

Sound Off Nov 21

Small court claims process.
Favors the perpetrators.
Not worth the bother.

Investigate Ken.
Sonovabitch got a raise.
Leaps and bounds I say.

Politicians lie.
Not remotely a new thing.
They don’t have a choice.

School safety is key.
Armed guards in barbed wire towers.
Seems reasonable.

Shelters aren’t enough.
Need to address real issues.
We can do better.

Time to leave Haverhill.
Taxes are pricing me out.
Plaistow here I come.

Sound Off Nov 22

Traffic at Frost School.
Drivers going way too fast.
Worst parents ever.

Mayor’s “empathy.”
Not worth anything to me.
Taxes still increase.

Whiners don’t know shit.
They just love to bitch and moan.
Ignorant babies.

Casinos are bad.
Take advantage of addicts.
That’s the whole business.

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