Back Off in #Haiku. 10/30/14.



Chinese company.
Making rail cars in Springfield.
Deval’s a dumb ass.

Dracut’s old gas pumps.
About to be reopened.
Cancerous eyesore.

Dracut’s Manager.
Trying to clean up the town.

Tragic suicide.
Milked for a couple of votes.
Politicians suck.

Sound Off

Lawrence newspaper.
Charges for Veteran’s pics.
Claims it’s to honor.

Dems should be ashamed.
Using ev’ry dirty trick.
Just like the commies.

Illegals voting.
Only way the Dems can win.
Voters hate our ways.

Lantigua broke law.
Identified his party.
Should get half a year.

Bill Clinton is scum.
Yet very influential.
No wonder we’re screwed.

Sidewalks need repair.
Crumbling asphalt full of cracks.
Children walk in streets.

Casinos short fix.
They close and jobs don’t last long.
Ghost towns can be young.

Timberlane School Board.
Overpaid dysfunctionals.
Let’s take a survey.

Back Off In #Haiku. 10/29/14.



Dracut cleaning up.
Problem properties get fined.
Allow cure to spread.

Toxic dump ignored.
Seniors fined for not mowing.
Broadway is glowing.

Abandoned house fines.
500 dollars a day.
Lowell should do same.

That cartoon was right.
It was on page 25.
[Sun hates web readers]

Three good deeds a day.
Nature’s antidepressant.
If you leave the house.

Connector needs bumps
Or at least some rumble strips.
Nobody reads signs.

Clinton’s a lead vest.
Coakley going down with ship.
Hillary can’t help.

Sound Off

Tax & Spend Lib’rals.
Spend 80k to save half.
Dumb ass school leaders.

Timberland School Board.
8 to 1 vote to hire more.
Should have gotten temps.

Timberland School Board.
Budget all spent on PR.
Road to hell unpaved.

Thousand dollar fine.
What it takes to stop litter.
Instill them with fear.

Water and sewer.
Public Works says price can raise.
Dam all these bastards.

Dems fightin’ dirty.
Illegals can vote and drive.
The Prez kicked my nuts.

Voter ID laws.
Democrats can’t stand those things.
God bless New Hampshire.

Forces don’t ‘make men.”
Service isn’t discipline.
Send your brats to camp.

Unions are still strong.
Controlling all elections.
Votes are all paid for.

FDR’s programs.
Paved way for illegal votes.
ID laws will help.

Vote Republican.
To break two-party system.
One creates balance.

Once The Right is in.
More room for other parties.
Dems holding them back.

Creatures of the Lowell Line: Superheroes


What is this guy’s superpower you ask?  Invisibility? Clearly not.  X-Ray vision? Unlikely.  The ability to break up “six….ahhhh, actually seven” fights at Saturday’s Fleetwood Mac concert?  You guessed it.  (It was 3 fights, two stops ago, but you know how it goes with Superhero’s… you get super exaggeration too.)  Hey, we all know how it goes with those Fleetwood Mac fans.  They’re all just normal geriatrics, complaining about the weather and speed limits being too high, until they hear the base lick in the middle of “The Chain” and they lose their minds.  Its like some sort of tribal call to arms.  One would have to imagine it was a scary scene.  “The ush’ahs were piss’n demselves.  Thank God I wuz they’ah.”  (Translation:  “Just went on instinct, No weapons needed.”)

And here he is two days later warming the purple seats on the commuter rail with the rest of us mortals, with hardly a scratch on him.  And unlike most superhero’s, who are all usually guarded and introverted when they’re not saving the world, he was extremely forthcoming.  For instance, we learned that he just acquired a pet Red Tail Boa, that he temporarily named “Destroyer.” (Temporarily?  Like he’s going to come up with something better than Destroyer?)  And haven’t you all wondered what superheroes order at Dunkin?!? Well, you’re in luck.  This superhero runs on a “Great One” Hot Chocolate with a Turbo shot…which demonstrates a palette and stomach lining that is operating on a super human level.  Clearly this man has no weakness. (Save for the onset of Type 2 diabetes or the eventual wrath of Destroyer the snake.)

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/28/14.


[Please note: Do you have any idea how long it took to find a picture of a catfight with actual cats?]


No war on Christmas.
But there is one on Jesus.
Birthday boy died for you.

Nazis on welfare.
Grampa’s killers freeloading.
While old heroes starve.

Use gas tax for roads.
Don’t put it in gen’ral funds.
No need to raise tax.

Attacks grow tiresome.
Voting against party lines.
Catfights aren’t civil.

Credit for MassWorks.
Lots of people signed that one.
Acknowledge them all.

Chelmsford taxpayer.
Bailing out these bums again.
Leave them in the tank.

Sound Off

The streets of Europe.
Not clean because of high fines.
Clean because of pride.

Less crime in Europe.
People with pride don’t litter.
Or break into homes.

Don’t just fine litter.
Thousand dollars for all crimes.
Then they’ll stop texting.

Not voting Coakley.
Don’t think illegals should vote.
But she should still run.

“Government makes jobs.”
Hillary sort of said that.
Job creators taxed.

Coakly just stood by.
Guilt by association.
Should have spoken up.

Gov doesn’t make wealth.
Only takes it all away.
Clinton slaps people.

Biggest enemy:
Career politicians.
Vote for a person.

Dogs poop on my lawn.
I’m really not cool with that.
Take your shit elsewhere.

Back Off in #Haiku, Day 1 (February 9, 1993)


[Please note: I went to the library to find out when Backtalk started. It was February 9, 1993. I’ve got some catching up to do.]

Saved from heart attack.
By off-duty EMT.
World needs more like them.

Gays in armed forces?
Why does Clinton care ’bout that?
Bigger issues now.

Most folks don’t want gays.
Why should armed forces take them?
Leave the ban in place.

Clinton got this wrong.
How can anyone approve?
Swear that dude is high.

18 to get pierced.
But not to get abortions.
Blood stained President.

Ignored procedures.
Cost Lowell Defense building
Manager blew it.

Billerica sewage.
Not ev’rybody gets it.
But we all must pay.

Slow police response.
Wouldn’t happen with more cops.
Hours go by slowly.

Don’t change the charter.
Certain officials want that.
Let people decide.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/27/14.



Obama and crew.
Can’t guard border or White House.
Disease will walk in.

Chelmsford tax rate.
Highest in the area.
Poor choices last long.

Chelmsford financials.
Enigma or conundrum?
Fired teachers won’t say.

Too many skateboards.
Bring back Mill City Mounties.
That’s cost effective.

Downtown regular.
Nobody uses bikelanes.
[Downtown has no lanes]

Some vets don’t talk much.
But Scott Brown won’t stop talking.

Robert Breest guilty.
DNA just shows two guys.
Helpers tend to help.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/25/14.



Enough with the jokes.
Ebola is serious.
Contagious laughter.

Third parties still count.
Press should cover ev’ryone.
Not debatable.

Dave Gagliardi.
Plus Curran and Donnelly.
Got Boston Road fixed.

Olga Roche pension.
Only Dems would let that slide.
Retire debacles.

All Dems must be fired.
Contagious incompetence.

Sound Off

Illegals voting.
Coakley said she’s cool with that.
Take her off ballots.

Bottle bill too weak.
Thousand-dollar litter fines.
Let’s be like Europe.

Debates with Dems.
They deny they’re Socialists.
Lieing to voters.

Baseball takes too long.
Football is too violent.
Changes will be made.

Gambling observer.
That guy could see ev’rything.
Looked into their hearts.

Gambling observer.
Please save us from Ebola.
Your country needs you.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/24/14.



Don’t blame Connector.
The highway ends with warnings.
Drivers fail to yield.

Bike kids on sidewalks:
Old folks will hit you with canes.
Out on your asphalt.

Half a million short.
Twice in the past ten years.
Schools should do the math.

Stop sign was yellow.
Wife given pre-writ ticket.
[Aren’t most of them red?]


Back Off in #Haiku. 10/23/14.



Cellphone addiction.
That’s the real problem with cops.
More than birds angry.

Starbucks sells donuts.
That’s why you see police there.
Jaywalkers roam free.

Garry raised taxes.
They were part of the budget.
No budget should pass.

Whole world up in flames.
I’m blaming phones and games.
Old homes aren’t wired right.

69 years old.
More fires than I’ve ever seen.
Tragedy surrounds.

Lally article.
Bringing good shows to the Aud.
Happy to see that.

Sound Off

[Scott Brown rerun]
[They ran this one yesterday]
[Exact wording]

Gamblers dress nicely.
Seniors risking their pensions?
Straight up poppycock.

Casino hookers?
Never seen any such thing.
Not tolerated.

Casino traffic?
Not if they’re open all night.
Folks go broke in shifts.

Casino crime rates?
Absolutely zero zilch.
Your laws are the crime.

Suddenly pro-draft.
Discipline the rioters.
Give them M-16’s.