Back Off in #Haiku. 9/30/14.


[I used to run a disclaimer at the beginning of this, explaining that all I’m doing is taking a couple of columns from the local papers made from messages left by anonymous callers and translating them into haiku. Again, I take absolutely no credit for anything you might mistake for creativity. My only job is to count to five, count to seven, and count to five again. Half the time I don’t even get that right. Anyway, figured I’d run the disclaimer again just in case anybody wasn’t sure what was going on here. Thank-you.]


40 percent raise?
Not way can we afford that.
Not with Obama.

Kids should wash their hands.
To stop enterovirus.
No more sharing food.

New fire department.
Should double as soup kitchen.
We can’t pay for it.

Ryder Cup golfers.
Worse than a pack of school kids.
Embarrassed nation.

Obama can’t speak.
Looked bad on 60 Minutes.
He should just step down.

Football commercials.
86 during Pat’s game.
Not buying that stuff.

Sound Off

Going with the Dem.
Most State seats are filled by Dems.
Repubs get drowned out.

Holder has resigned.
Worst AG we’ve ever had.
Barrack should follow.

We all know Bush lied.
But Obama does that too.
No one brings him up.

Casinos are bad.
They mean money leaves our towns.
Makes them Springsteen songs.

Welfare millionaire.
We’re paying for their lawyers.
Damn you Obama.

Lawrence ain’t D.R.
You come here learn our language.
Old country stay back.

Back Off in #Haiku. 9/29/14. Evening Edition.



Uninsured scooters.
I’m paying car insurance.
Fairness is lacking.

Only want to eat.
But TV ads disgust me.
Can’t turn the thing off.

Enforce the gun laws.
Stop begging for more of them.
There’s too many now.

Scott Brown in the north.
He will lose the Granite State.
Then it’s off to Maine.

Bin searchers might come.
Put your bottles to the side.
Easy solution.

Please fine Gronkowski.
Little rough on the ball there.
I’m very concerned.

Support bottle bill.
Much better than litter.
Junk thrown in my yard.

Back Off in #Haiku. 9/29/14.


Sound Off

Baker fights welfare.
No more to rich drug dealers.
Coakley won’t say that.

Tax dollars involved.
We need all glory details.
It’s what we pay for.

Reality Welfare.
Show me ev’rything they do.
I’ll supervise them.

Stop wasting taxes.
My gen did ev’rything right.
I’m on SSI.

Living on the dole.
After winning lottery.
Incumbents to blame.

Pot head welfare cheat.
And a millionaire to boot.
My kids are hungry.

Back Off in #Haiku. 9/27/14.


Sound Off

Trash barrels with wheels.
Haverhill now switching over.
Change will kill them all.

Jim Fiorentini.
Doing whatever he wants.
Out of touch mayor.

Fanatics are fine.
Some just pray and starve themselves.
Not all are violent.

“Lawrence is our town.”
-Ex-Prez of Dominicans.
They’re taking over.


Treeless riverbank.
That will weaken the highway.
Eroded designs.

Fletcher Street rush hour.
Much worse with the improvements.
Lightbulbs should go off.

Help me with detours.
Detail cops are all clueless.
Signs would be useful.

Not brought in by immigrants.
You stupid bigot.

[Mark Wahlberg story]
[Guess not the high-5/Kraft thing]
[I have no clue here]

Talking in circles.
About the circles we’re in.
Make voters dizzy.

Back Off in #Haiku. 9/26/14.



Murphy stares at trash.
Doesn’t pick anything up.
Thanks for the help there.

Plenty of gun laws.
We really don’t need new ones.
Let real judges judge.

People hanging out.
What kind of downtown is this?
Emptiness desired.

Property challenge.
Lowell is cleaning things up.
Dracut is called out.

Nothing to report.
Wonderful day in this town.
Couldn’t be better.

Back Off in #Haiku. 9/25/14.



Bikes strollers scooters.
Unruly pedestrians.
Roadrage justified.

Market Street was clean.
Rush hour mile without issue.
Something is working.

Gas prices go down.
Only close to November.
Incumbent control.

Speed limit increase.
Change it to the current speeds.
Then we’re not speeding.

Primary losers.
Signs still all over the place.
We can’t tell who won.

Warren has money.
Can’t relate to working class.
She should go poor first.

James Arciero.
Voted against tax increase.
Told me on the phone.

Sound Off

War is circular.
Religious folks are crazy.
Churchill got it right.

TB in Texas.
Immigrant babies spread death.
Obama’s sick plan.

Salem says ‘no salt.’
They only want casinos.
Salt sheds are ugly.

Haverhill tax increase.
Going straight into pockets.
Bonuses unearned.

But love scratchies and bingo.
Bunch of hypocrits.

Nobel Prize winner.
Bombing mostly Muslim lands.
Can’t name all seven.

Bad expensive roads.
Worst and costliest in states.
Tax increase wasted.

Back Off in #Haiku. 9/22/14.



Firearm homicides.
Most are by violent young men.
Keep them in your sites.

Support bottle bill.
Eliminate all this trash.
Finders will buy things.

Guys sifting through my trash.
Bottle bill adds to problem.
From nomads to hordes.

Jaywalking problem.
Police need to crack down here.
Green light shines briefly.

Dracut school spending.
No room for curtains in gym.
So much I can’t see.

Stop n Shop cashiers.
Let’s hear it for these fine folks.
Qualified to teach.

Four months vacation.
Seems excessive in these days.
Astronauts can see.

A gambler’s question:
How many accidents on Rourke?
Winter is coming.

Sound Off

Prez ignores experts.
ISIS being done his way.
Page Doctor Strangelove.

Glad for Garcia.
But she’s anti-casino.
Salem will haunt her.

Candidate Barrack.
Said he was against dumb wars.
Training future foes.

Vote you lazy bums.
Why the hell weren’t you out there?
Disgusting babies.

Central Catholic.
New field for losers to blame.
We recruited it.

Back Off in #Haiku. 9/20/14.



Agreement completely reached.
Head removed from ass.

Nepotism stays.
Naive to think otherwise.
This is what we learn.

Vote out incumbents.
Get rid of all these damn bums.
Bring in some fresh bums.

Ebola spreads fast.
Bigger threat than al-Qaida.
What’s our game plan here?

Rep Arciero.
Speaking up for Veterans.
Not for aliens.

Secretary of State.
Looks like he got some work done.
Only on his face.

We don’t need sidewalks.
Nobody walks in Chelmsford.
Can’t afford schools now.

I don’t like Coakley.
I don’t wanna back Coakley.
Switching to Baker.

Sound Off

Booze is good for you.
Lowers chance of heart attack.
Can’t say that of pot.

Coakley campaigning.
Why not investigating?
She was in Lawrence.

[Where is Timberland?]
[Near Hampton and Exeter?]
[Some School Board drama].

Coakley in Lawrence.
Safer now Lantigua’s gone.
She let him go clean.

Bush really did suck.
We’re not just blaming the guy.
All kids make mistakes.

Back Off in #Haiku. 9/19/14.



Ethnic groups help best.
We need their help with the gangs.
Grant money arrived.

UML resort.
No need to leave the campus.
Wealth remains unspread.

Everett casino.
Not the greatest idea.
Ugliness of vice.

Fight for bottle bill.
Make the streets even cleaner.
That’s not Gatorade.

Not all shows are good.
The Aud must understand this.
I will not sit down.

Hannaford workers.
Shipped in from other places.
Costs rose to cover.

No Sound Off today.

Back Off in #Haiku. 9/18/14.


[Duck Duck reunion.
This Saturday at 9 I think.
Over at The Safe].


Street crossing classes.
UML should offer those.
Two ways to get hit.

School nepotism.
Glad we nipped that in the bud.
All teachers same name.

Homeless get free phones.
Hard for tents to get landlines.
Need one to get work.

My bro wasn’t hired.
Job went to a phone girl’s kid.
Glad those days are gone.

Emperor Nero.
Played the fiddle while Rome burned.
Clubs and swords both swing.

Hannaford workers.
Great job with the extra work.
Clapping continues.

History must die.
Let building owners move on.
Lowell loves changes.

Smokestack has fallen.
A lightning rod us missing.
Hard thing to misplace.

This is just too much.
Water bottle deposits?
Masses awaken.

[No Sound Off today]