Back Off in #Haiku. 8/30/14.


[Captain Martini.
Playing tonight at The Safe.
Key Stoners there too.]

Sound Off

Fake cigarettes blow.
Pacifiers for adults.
Could just [joke withheld].

Art T’s warriors.
Fought the hardest of all fights.
They did it for us.

Thank-you other stores.
For making extra money.
That was brave of you.

Government action.
That’s what we all need more of.
MB taught us this.

That movie with that guy?
He wants to jump off a bridge?
It’s an MB life.

Joggers should wear lights.
Nobody hits Christmas trees.
I drive in my sleep.


Market Basket win.
Love the positive outcome.
Helps me to forget.

Best labor story.
Better than Sinclair’s Jungle.
Customers love you.

Senator Finegold:
Get that paperwork started.
Art needs a Nobel.

Bob the meat man.
Giving out hugs to cashiers.
Wonderful picture.

We should all stock up.
Like preppers after a vote.
With all that cash saved.

Art T. spent big bucks.
No coupons for entire chains.
That was nice of him.

Art T.’s comeback.
Greatest return since Twinkies.
I cried for Twinkies!

Did other stores learn?
Don’t gouge us and we might stay.
Shangri-La shelter.

Back Off in #Haiku. 8/29/14.



MB back in biz.
Looking forward to shopping.
Bringing the whole fam.

Workers should be proud.
Art T. fought for DeMoulas.
Art S. change your name.

Art S. can move now.
Plenty of cash to do so.
Nothing for him here.

Now I’m boycotting.
Big fan of some other store.
Kiss my butt good-bye.

Gooch and Thornton’s team.
Load up your little horses.
Aim for the sunset.

Incredibly proud of you.
I’ll be right over.

Good peaceful protest.
The workers kept it bloodless.
Never got ugly.

We are all winners.
Especially Arthur T.
It was a team thing.

Sound Off

The Board hurt workers.
On purpose for the protest.
That was the delay.

You’re all getting fired.
The deal isn’t going through.
I hope you’re happy.

Cops got a wrist slap.
Shouldn’t be that way but is.
Need real deterants.

God hates working class.
Parable of the talents.
Yelling at the help.

Cops are in danger.
Sharpton likes to leave this out.
Just wants more riots.

Can’t get profits back.
They’ll raise prices for us all.
You fought for nothing.


Eulogy for the Caswell

Lowell Sun

TEWKSBURY — A strip of molding is peeling off the wood-paneled walls of Room 251 at the Motel Caswell, and there’s a small hole in the wall that won’t be repaired.

The bed has been made for the last time, but those in neighboring rooms are stripped, with red and green paisley comforters lying in heaps on the pavement just beyond the door.

Outside, owner Russ Caswell and his son Jay are clearing out nearby rooms, removing televisions, but leaving most of the furniture for the wrecking ball.

The Motel Caswell, which has been owned by the Caswell family for nearly 60 years, hosted its last guests Sunday night.

It’s set to be demolished next month to make way for an entertainment complex, marking the end of an era on this stretch of Route 38.
“It’s a big change. I guess you’d call it a lot of mixed feelings,” Caswell said.

The motel was the site of a seizure attempt by the federal government under drug-forfeiture laws, which Caswell fought and won in 2013. But before it became known for a number of closed-door drug deals and prostitution stings, the Motel Caswell was a family business, the place where a teenage Caswell started his working life.

Good Morning,

I’m here today….(pulling it together…dusty in here.)…excuse me (clearing throat)…I’m here today to celebrate the life of the Motel Caswell. To many, the Caswell was an old, “past it’s time” motel in a location that nobody in their right mind would ever stop or even let their car idle, let alone spend the night. To the town of Tewksbury, the property was an embarrassing blight on their “magnificent mile” of nail salons, and roast beef joints…preventing big ticket industry like bowling alley’s, and batting cages from turning the place into Dubai. But to those of us gathered here today, the Caswell was our friend. A loyal friend. A friend that was always there for us when you were at your lowest. When you needed a cozy, judgement free bed to sleep off the eleven lunchtime Jade East Mai Tai’s before doing your afternoon school bus route, the Caswell was there. When you needed a meth lab in a pinch, the Caswell was there. When your wife’s restraining order was about to expire, and you had nothing romantic planned…heart shaped tubs…all you can handle. The Caswell was there. A man on a plane once said to me, “If you’ve been to 2 Hilton’s, you’ve been to them all.” Well sir, nobody will ever say that about the Caswell. Wallet friendly rates, maid service, drive-thru hookers…real keys. The Caswell was there.

(Dusty again…clearing throat.)

The Caswell was there.

Back Off in #Haiku. 8/28/14.


[So it’s over. The story broke this morning well after whine liners fell asleep watching The Weather Channel but before the sun rose on another day they’ll never crawl out of their basement bunkers to actually see. I think the papers knew this was coming. Feels like a bit of a clearance sale today. It’s over.]


Stop bashing workers.
They have the balls to stand up.
You’re anonymous.

[boycott denier]
[worried they’ll starve to death]
[Prob’ly wicked fat]

“Get it together.”
“Take the signs down and fire them.”
[Backseat CEO ‘s.]

Diehard MB’s.
Don’t think I’ll ever go back.
Can’t handle drama.

Not in Dave’s Backyard.
Clinics should be far away.
Like near a landfill.

Lowell Officer.
Paid vacay for a DUIy.
Sends the wrong message.

Sound Off

[actual rerun]
How do you live with yourselves?
[ran this yesterday]

MB hostages.
[compared to real hostages]
[shoppers still have heads]

Plaistow police chief.
Should be chosen by voters.
Enough politics.

Please report break-ins.
Only gets worse if you don’t.
Police need numbers.

Hate TV lawyers.
Not the Law & Order guys.
The advertisers.

Casino fighters.
We could have been big winners.
We had a system.

Back Off in #Haiku. 8/27/14.


Sound Off

Plato and Saint Paul.
Both siding with Arthur S.
Confucius rolls eyes.

Just a big game show.
Hosted by Jerry Springer.
Camera filled warehouse.

Not a Scott Brown fan.
New Hampshire good luck with that.
Can’t name twenty towns.

Your Grampa was dumb.
Immigration’s harder now.
Stop patting your back.

[cliched hate for workers]
[the one about being greedy]
[Cut & Paste bullshit]


Michael Brown was bad.
The media won’t say that.
Cops got it all right.

Second D.U.I.
First got him six month vacay.
[I can’t write this one]

Obama’s time off.
Way less than Bush or Reagan.
Just counting mental.

A ticket removed.
After brief conversation.
Policy changes.

Cop related death.
The girl in the holding cell.
[not doing these ones]

More to life than food.
Bigger issues get ignored.
Dialogue starving.

Animal cruelty.
Vets now must report abuse.
Dog kickers read Sun.

Back Off in #Haiku. 8/26/14.



Religious riot.
Al Sharpton in Ferguson.
Throw a stone for Christ.

Senator Warren.
Has a new book coming out.
Buy it at Whole Foods.

Methadone clinic.
Pride Star is a bad neighbor.
And way more noisy.

Scooters and cycles.
Those guys don’t need insurance.
Why do cars need it?

Bernie was evil.
All just cameras and spending.
Kicking the herring.

MB diet plan.
Stopped eating all those cheap snacks.
So far down six pounds.

Sound Off

Gov. Rick Perry.
He isn’t all that corrupt.
Just really hates drunks.

I hate screaming kids.
Scream and scream the whole damn day.

No pets for poor folks.
Can’t afford to get them shots.
Puppies on welfare.

Media slanted.
Always siding with Israel.
Poor Helen Thomas.

Fountain has fallen.
Near the end of Berkley Street.
May it spout again.

Back Off in #Haiku. 8/23/14.


[Backtalk finally showed up again, clearly well rested. Nice work! High five! Sound Off stayed home.]

Golf is insulting.
No president should play golf.
There’s too much bad stuff.

Worst experience ever.
Someone towed my vehicle.

Art S. won’t catch on.
The shoppers support Art T.
Not just the workers.

New traffic pattern.
Freddy Krueger’s idea.
Nightmare when school starts.

Workers ruin stores.
They should just get back to work.
[whine whine bitch bitch moan]

Bus to Hannafords.
Stop crying about MB.
Fifty friggin’ cents.

Stop changing my town.
We were used to the one-ways.
Why do you hate me?

Put food on the shelves.
[produce and dairy went bad].
There is no boycott.

Employees greedy.
Choosing who they work under.
I’m miserable.

Back Off in #Haiku. 8/22/14.


Supposedly today marks the end of the Market Basket saga, meaning I’ll only have it as my main source of material from the Lawrence paper for another week or two. I’m happy for the workers, don’t get me wrong there. But the downtown traffic changes didn’t hold up their end of local interest among the cranks. No wonder The Sun hasn’t bothered to run Backtalk since Monday.

Sound Off

Cops can’t be soldiers.
Posse Comitatus Act says so.
Stop invading us.

Workers petty fight.
Don’t drag my ass into it.
Listen to Deval.

The Board killed the chain.
Not what they were hired to do.
They suck at this job.

Those bashing workers.
First thru the door when this ends.
Give them a high-five.

CEOs are whipped.
Do what you say or close up.
[backseat quarterback]

Back Off in #Haiku. 8/21/14.


[3 days without Backtalk. Lawrence picking up the slack though.]

Sound Off

MB Anarchy.
I wouldn’t hire any of you.
Damn rabble rousers.

Smoke weed and rob stores.
Some folks learn that in grade school.
They should all be shot.

Employees are rude.
I’m just trying to buy food.

Benefits outrage.
Military losing theirs.
Illegals get more.

Ferguson riots.
Not about police issues.
It’s Obama’s fault.

Back Off in #Haiku. 8/20/14.


[No Backtalk again. Just the Lawrence paper. I’m really starting to suspect that The Board is using all it’s free time to call a newspaper whine line in Lawrence.]

Sound Off

Employees greedy.
Fighting for their “fair wages.”
And “humane treatment.”

Workers are greedy.
Work is the right thing to do,
They won’t do what’s right.

Current workers dumb.
Let the smarter workers fight.
They’ll be here some day.

Immigrant children.
Being used as human pawns.
Pawns with Ebola.

We need more one-ways.
There’s no stores down here to lose.
It’s kinda messy.