Backtalk in Haiku, 7/25/14


Day 12. Got a letter from Tobes. He said the ratings are up and they need me to keep doing this. Is this how it feels to be Mick Foley? Please no, not the thumb tacks again.

At least I can do this anywhere. Currently I’m sitting at a campsite on Bar Harbor after a day that included an eight-mile hike and a 45-mile bike ride, both of which involved Cadillac. You know how sometimes you take your socks off and there’s enough cotton remaining on your foot to top an aspirin bottle? Let me know if you want me to bring some back for you.

By the way, here’s the haiku you’re looking for. Yup, no ‘s’ to make it plural. Why? Because haiku is a substance.

Pipeline is needed.
Unicorns ain’t worth a damn.
Only gas can work.

Whitey Bulger smiles.
Artie S. is more hated.
[that’s all this dude said]

The new MB boss.
Fired a guy by currier.
Really a dick move.

Obamacare lost.
At least a little of it.
Why can they appeal?

Deval didn’t sign.
Prob’ly working with Art S.
MB wants kid scabs.

Fireworks ev’rywhere.
Cops were supposed to crackdown.
Crackdown my damn ass!


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