Backtalk in Haiku. 7/15/14.
[please note: no punchlines have been added. All I did was change the wording to fit the haiku form. I don’t know how serious any of these people are, so there is the possibility that this is satirizing satire or trolling. Probably not though. Visit the Sun’s page for original wording. http://www.lowellsun.com/opinion/ci_26150643/backtalk-7-15-2014 ]

Marilyn Monroe.
Chelmsford’s July 4th parade.
I just don’t get it.
-Chelmsford

Good opinion piece.
We need a revolution.
Where’s the sign-up sheet?
-Chelmsford

Folks don’t use trash cans.
They just throw shit ev’rywhere.
They should relocate.
-Lowell

Phoney baloney.
Sun supports Hobby Lobby.
Dems are hypocrites.
-Tewksbury

Dems pro-abortion.
This is the term The Sun used.
I agree with it.
-Chelmsford

Tewksbury Mahal.
Just totally uncalled for.
I want slot machines.
-Tewksbury

Pres short excuse list.
Blame Bush or claim ignorance.
He should take command.
-Chelmsford

Cars on Boulevard.
Playing music quite loudly.
Police should step in.
-Lowell

Pricey ambulance.
For a kid bit by a dog.
Just get a limo.
-Lowell