Seriously, I’ve got a tree that has gone from healthy to bark falling off in under a year. We might have to put this one down. which may ultimately lead to something growing in it’s place that I’ll have to mow. No bueno! I like trees, you like trees, who wants to help me save a tree? I hire on a referral basis only. And don’t send me over your drunk cousin that happens to own a chainsaw. I can operate a chainsaw, I can climb a tree, and I am spectacularly agile the further I get from the legal limit. I need a tree whisperer. I need a guy that knows whacky cures like soaking the trunk in a mixture of Natty Light and Windex. Let’s get to work!
PS. “The Arborist” sounds like a solid Seinfeld character.