Cool bro needed to break in a pair of Rainbows (TriBeCa)

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Cool bro needed to break in a pair of Rainbows (TriBeCa)
Looking to hire a brah to break in my new Rainbow flops. I don’t have time to do it and I need them broken in like yesterday cause my feet are totally soft from rockin’ my Tod’s driving mocs all winter. This isn’t just your normal everyday flip flop break-in job, I need you to imitate my whole deal so they’re like proper.
First off my gate, you’ve gotta walk like me to get these puppies to fit me right, think McConaughey meets the guy you wish you were who walks out of Citi Bank HQ on a casual Friday, picture a Patagonia fleece vest with a Brooks Bros. non-iron.
Second, you need to go places where I’ll wear ’em to get them used to the terrain. Tribeca Tap House, the Brandy Library, Tiny’s, the Frying Pan, and the Boat Basin. Don’t FUCKING bring these things to Brooklyn, I know you think the roof of Berry Park in Williams-balls is the boner, but it’s just for poor people who can’t afford 230 Fifth.
Outfit provided and pictured below, includes boot koozie in case you need something to help you jam harder to Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show. If you don’t know what that is then stay in Hoboken and keep watching MMA.
Send references of other footwear you’ve broken in, if you mention a Ralph Lauren shoe of any kind, especially Polo Sport I’ll know you went to SUNY or CUNY and you won’t be considered.
My old ‘bows are pictured here, they need to look like this by Belmont. Payment negotiable, but you need to be able to accept a credit card cause I want Starwood points for my Amex. Out.
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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I have very little to add here. Bow’s are the balls. I don’t buy the bows because they’re harder to break in than a pair of Bauers. Furthermore, I believe in Craigslist as a means of finding hard up people to do weird shit for you for short money. And if that’s not enough, as far as I’m concerned, Old Crow Medicine Show is the ONLY version of Wagon Wheel. I’d rather take a shovel to the face than hang out with this bro, but I respect his game.

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