Can I Be Frank?: St. Patrick’s Day! (AKA Amatuer Day)

irish brawl

Bostinno.com – March 17, 2014 – How Many People Were Arrested at the St. Patrick’s Day Parade?

The number of people arrested by the Boston Police Department during Sunday’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade could be counted on one hand.

According to a BPD report released Sunday evening, five people were arrested at the St.Patrick’s Day Parade. Two were arrested for disorderly conduct. Three were arrested for boozing in public, and one had to be taken into protective custody.

In total, however, police issued 293 citations.

The majority of the people who attended the parade, dressed head-to-toe in green, the BPD said, “did so in a fun and safe manner.”

BostInno won’t take credit for keeping yesterday’s arrest numbers down. All we did was provide some tips on how to not get arrested. Whether or not that helped doesn’t really matter. The bottom line is: The 2014 St. Patrick’s Day Parade was safer than last year’s.

In 2013, more than 330 people were issued citations and 26 were arrested for disorderly conduct at the parade. Yesterday, only five people were arrested.

Way to rage responsibly, Boston.

First of all, Happy St. Patricks’ Day!  As a very proud Irishman, I love this day like the other 96% of the state of that claims Irish descent.  That said, it is a little discomforting that this is the type of news that hits the wire on the most important day of the year when we celebrate The Old Sod.  Nobody loves to tip a few pints back, especially on the glorious Paddy’s Day, as much as me but let’s face it, folks, today should be called ‘Amatuer Day’.  Like St. Patrick’s Day’s illegitimate children, New Year’s Eve and Pre-Thanksgiving Wednesday, today’s happenings always kinda piss me off and here are a few reasons why…

1.  Crowds

Irish bars and pubs, especially in these parts, are the proverbial Blarney Stones.  They are great; at least for 364 days/year.  BUT, today, it is a total shite-show.  Drinking a poorly poured pint out of a plastic cup while crammed in the corner between “Meaghan the Lonely Obnoxious Power Boozer’ and “Juan, Ireland’s First Mexican” is just not that fun to me.  If you can’t pull up a stool and allowed enough room for you and the Holy Spirit, move on.  Better off trying your luck at Polish American Club on St. Paddy’s.

2. Irish for a Day

Look, I am not being a snob (well, maybe a little) this is a America after all and if people want to celebrate, Irish or not, that is their Constitutional right.  That does not mean I have to like it.  Sure, join in the spirit.  Toast a Guinness.  Sip a whiskey.  Go for it.  But, if this is your first attempt at imbibing some of these Irish classics…tread lightly.  I’ll take the same advice on Cinco de Mayo when the Patron is being passed around.

3. Junior Varsity Day

Like many of the inexperienced or overzealous drinking patrons on St. Patrick’s Day, the bartenders and wait staff do not have their A-game on this day.  Due to the massive crowds of raucous revelers, the staff at your favorite Irish watering hole are forced to put out a less the top-notch product.  The pints are often puny.  The corned beef resembles the output of a shoe leather plant on strike.  The cabbage is, well, cabbage is gross on it’s best day…but actually worse during Paddys.  As Robin Williams told Matt Damon, ‘It’s not your fault“, but that doesn’t make it any better.  Again, Wayne Kowalski, the day bartender at the Polish Club, may be the best bet for your drinking needs today.

4.  Embarrassment

Pretty sure SAINT Patrick would not be overly psyched to read the above story on the arrests that went down at, ya know, a feckin’ PARADE!  Don’t really see these types of headlines after Greek Independence Day, do you?  Rarely is there a Rosh Hashanah riot?   Drunken disorderly during Ramadan?  I don’t think so.  But it’s par for the course for those sons and daughters of the Emerald Isle.  Stop it.

Alright, enough negativity from me.  Enjoy St. Patrick’s Day – but trust me, its more fun to be Irish the other 51 weeks each year.  Now, if you’ll excuse me I need to get totally annihilated on watered down whiskey and pick a fight with some Polacks.

Slainte!

You can listen to last Friday’s ‘F n K Show’ where we discussed all things Irish on 980 WCAP.

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2 thoughts on “Can I Be Frank?: St. Patrick’s Day! (AKA Amatuer Day)

  1. it doesn’t get more Irish when people who can’t step dance decide to step dance un-ironically to pub tunes they insist they know the words to…but don’t.

  2. shit. i need spellcheck. #lynchmob

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