The curtain falls on the Chief’s season.



WORCESTER, Mass. – It just wasn’t in the cards for the UMass Lowell River Hawks on Sunday evening as the Boston College Eagles topped the River Hawks in a tight, hard fought Northeast Regional Final.

The River Hawks fall just short of making a return trip to the Frozen Four and end the season a bit earlier than they wanted to. The bright side; the program is shaping up to be one of the top programs in the country. The Eagles will make their 24th appearance in the Frozen Four.

UMass Lowell came up on the bad side of what was a back-and-forth game. The Eagles got out to the first lead of the game on a Kevin Hayes goal at 7:03 in the first period. Of course, a goal that was assisted on by Johnny Gaudreau and defenseman Michael Matheson. Michael Kapla and the River Hawks responded with under two minutes remaining in the first, evening the score heading into the second period.

The River Hawks and Eagles traded goals in the second and third period, but the Eagles got the last laugh as Ian McCoshen received a great pass from Teddy Doherty and placed the puck in the back of the net stick-side. The just under nine minutes remaining in the game wasn’t enough for the River Hawks to return the favor.

UMass Lowell played ‘Lowell style hockey,’ but was matched up against a tough Boston College opponent. This weekend, against Minnesota State and Boston College, was two of the toughest, most evenly matched games the River Hawks had played all season long.

Where losing stings, losing to BC stings even more and for reasons that obviously have nothing to do with Hockey. Because if we’re just talking hockey, the four goals that BC potted this Sunday night were nothing short of spectacular. And that’s what it took to beat the Chiefs. Four spectacular goals. Like the kind that make the Sportscenter Top 10 when Lebron isn’t silent-farting and the NCAA NIT women’s tourney isn’t in full swing.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s now proven beyond a doubt that the program playing at the end of Dutton Street is for real. Many advanced statistics demonstrate this in spades, but the most telling is TOC count…(Total Onces Consumed). My TOC count this season was off the charts. Good hockey. Good Atmosphere. The TaSongas is where I want to be on a cold winter’s night, and Chiefs hockey is the reason why.

So congrats on another great campaign, fellas.  We’ll see you in the fall.

Just wanted to give a shout out to my ole’ hood.

Wentworth 2Wentworth


The storm moved through the region Saturday night into Sunday, causing roads to flood and even a sinkhole to open up in Waltham. Another sinkhole opened up on Route 4 (Boston Road) in Chelmsford when a culvert collapsed during Saturday night’s heavy rain

In one Lowell neighborhood, crews spent Monday morning pumping water from residents’ basements. Lowell Firefighters used a boat to get around Wentworth Avenue.

That’s quite the puddle. Been thinking of you guys over there all day…and those awesome Letter of Map Amendments we all got so we could tell the banks where they can shove their flood insurance requirements. Suck it, Bank of America! Kiss my ass, JP Morgan! The only 100 year event happening over there is the LPD actually shutting down raucous above ground pool parties.

Tough Day in Boston yesterday.


I watched that fire yesterday from my office, excited about the birdseye view and the welcomed distraction from the grind. That wouldn’t have been the case had I known the level of tragedy that was occurring.

I hope everyone takes a moment to reflect on the sacrifice that occurred yesterday, and if you really want to honor the fallen, tell the story of their heroism to your children…and tell them the story in a way that Disney would tell the story. That honor will be far more lasting than a post on your Facebook timeline.

Can I Be Frank?: Chinese Food & Me: A Match Jade in Heaven

mai taijade

Bottom line: Chinese Fooood is awesome.  Just ask Austin Kuchar…

The variety. The spice. The convenience. All of these things and more are what make dining Chinese-style simply awesome. Traditionally, when we think about Chinese we think “take out”, but dining in at your favorite Americanized-Western version of the Orient makes the whole cookie that much more fortunate.

As I frequented one of my favorite spots of all time – the world famous Jade East – this past week I got to thinking about all of the great little details of what make Chinese chow down so great in my book.

10. Remember to tip your waitresses!

Yes, many of the larger Chinese restaurants work double duty as comedy clubs for local up-and-coming laugh makers. I mean, after all, who among us does not want a boat load of belly laughs after inhaling the all you can eat buffet? It makes perfect sense. Ingest 2-3 pounds of heavily fried, generously spiced, and sodium-fueled deliciousness (couple with several ‘what the hell is in this thing?’ cocktails) and prepare your innards to burst with some good old fashioned knock-knock jokes.

9. Where Are We?

Oh, did I forget to mention, Chinese Restaurants almost never, ever have windows. How pioneer is that move? We’re talking Daniel (-San) Boone type pioneer spirit. If you ever walk in to Chinese restaurant with a lot of natural sunlight, run for your life. It is clearly a trap. Otherwise, soak in the darkness. Like a bizarro-Rodney Dangerfield, “Rage against the dying of the light.”

8. We’ll have the Pu Pu

As long as I am being gross, let’s get all 6-year-old while I am at it. Where on earth, except for a Chinese restaurant, would we ever read an entry on a menu that had the phrase ‘Pu Pu’ right in its title would even consider eating it? Answer: nowhere. Guess what, they are perfect. All the favorites in one great order. Call it the Raging Crap Platter or Dookie for Two. Don’t care. It’s a never miss.

7. Yes, may I have beef, chicken, shrimp, pork, rice, pasta and the kitchen sink please?

Nowhere else can you economically order just about every acceptable form of animal on earth and have it delivered right to your plate. Not only affordable, they have discovered the formula to having them all blend in to one ridiculously tasty combination. Maybe that’s the third Mai Tai talking?

6. MSG

No not Madison Square Garden. I do not have the foggiest idea what “MSG” is or even what the letters stand for; but if it has anything to do with the tastiness of my #16 special then I don’t want to interfere. MSG is always a point of note when Chinese food is discussed, but for some reason no one really asks or wants to know; especially me. Even if I were to learn that MSG actually stood for “Massively Severe Gonorrhea” or “Minced Squirrel Guts” I would politely nod my head and affirm my interest in the meal. In fact, you can double up on mine.

5. Tastes Great, Less Filling

Like the classic Miller Lite slogan Chinese food ‘tastes great and is less filling”. No matter how much food you pile on that plate, the number of trips you make back to the buffet, you can never get completely full when consuming this Asian magic. It’s a physical impossibility. Why? Don’t know. Don’t care. No clue. Ask Confucius.

4. “Excuse me, Suffering Bastard over here”

The alcoholic drink options at Chinese restaurants are nothing short of epic. Outside of some sadistic college fraternity party where else can you order drinks called ‘Zombies’, ‘Headhunters’ and ‘Suffering Bastards’. Where else can you order a cocktail by the BOWL? Not just any bowl, a SCORPION BOWL. And guess what, you and your friends can share them or feel free to be a total and complete degenerate and suck down that lethal juiciness all by your lonesome. Rule #1 at the Chinese joint is there is no judging at the Chinese joint.

3. Do I have something on Mai Tai?

If we are gonna talk Chinese cocktails, I cannot forget my very favorite; the beautiful, delicious, sense-deadening, worry-relieving, habit-forming Mai Tai. An ingenious concoction combining…combining…truthfully, the greatest Mai Tai recipes are secret. Taboo you might say. Who am I to question ancient law? Maybe I’ll try that other great Chinese potion…what’s it called? Oh yeah, SAME TING!

2. That’s a wrap

Regardless of how much or how little you order when dining at a Chinese restaurant, there will always be leftovers for you to take home. Always. It’s like the Law of Gravity. Death, taxes, Chinese leftovers. You heard it here. To boot, unlike most leftover meals, Chinese seems to be like a fine wine…better with age (READ: 48 hour rule in effect). The marriage of Chinese leftovers and the microwave would lead you to believe they were meant to be together. Maybe that’s the Mai Tai hangover talking?

1. Have a great day!

Where else do you leave the dinner table with the promise of something good in your future? A little positive reinforcement? Some lucky numbers to count on? Of course I speak of the always present fortune cookie that concludes all Chinese dining experiences.

“Pain is inevitable…Suffering (bastard) is optional.”


Creatures of the Lowell Line: Pending Commuter Warfare in North Billerica


Lowell Sun 

BILLERICA — With the MBTA parking lot already packed by 8:30 a.m., some commuters are dreading the worst when Lowell commuters are forced to find new parking spots starting April 1 because of the major Gallagher Terminal reconstruction project.

Marie Smith, who has taken the commuter rail from the North Billerica stop for eight years, is so worried about Lowellians taking over that she sees herself getting forced down to the Woburn parking lot.

“That would be a big inconvenience for me,” said Smith, 53, who has lived in Billerica for 23 years. “Forty minutes away instead of a quick three-mile drive each morning.

“There’s a lot of people concerned about this,” she added. “And even when the construction is over, are they always going to park here because it’s cheaper to park here and the T pass is cheaper?”

“Ray, people will come Ray. They’ll come to North Billerica for reasons they can’t even fathom. They’ll turn up the driveway not knowing for sure why they’re doing it. They’ll arrive on the platform as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won’t mind if you park here. It’s only $4 per person. They’ll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they’ll walk out to the platform; stand in unfashionable winter parkers on a perfect morning.  And they’ll wait for the train and it’ll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they’ll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. People will most definitely come.”

I hope they come and come in droves.  Like Field of Dreams only the star in this movie is a patch of asphalt in Billerica and I am James Earl Jones. Commuter Rail People are some of the worst people on the planet.  Living life around a train schedule breeds some of the worst passive aggressive, Type A douchebaggery you’ll ever see.   From dudes keying cars because a stranger didn’t know spot #236 was his “usual spot” to iPad combat over someone refusing to take the middle on a 3 seater.   It’s deplorable.  And if you’re telling me that come April 1st, the LRTA is going to toss a duraflame right in the middle of this mess, then Happy April Fools Day to me.  I can’t wait.

The F n K Show’s March Madness Bracket

F n K March Madness Pleasure Brackets

Tune in to Friday’s F n K Show on 980 WCAP where we continue the Madness.  With arguably some of the best days of sports upon us – the NCAA Basketball Tournament – we have invented our own bracket.  Check out our March Madness bracket of Personal Pleasures!

Four “regions” –

1. Food

2.  Drink

3.  TV

4.  Holidays?

Fill out your bracket (above) and let us know what makes your FINAL FOUR OF FAVORITES!  You can also make your picks on our Facebook page.

WCAP March Badness

From WCAP’s Merrimack Valley in the Morning Show’s Facebook page:vote

Regular caller “Joe from Lowell” has set the field for the 980 WCAP Talk Host Tournament. And the brackets have set up an Elite 8 showdown between Morning co-hosts Teddy Panos and Austin Fontanella.

Here are all the matchups. Vote for who you would like to see advance:

#1 Warren Shaw vs. #8 Chris Poublon
 #2 Teddy Panos vs. #7 Austin Fontanella
#3 Jack Baldwin vs. #6 Frank McCabe
#4 Ryan Johnston vs. #5 John MacDonald


So many things wrong here.  As my colleague here at the Cabot, Tobes, stated, where is ‘Beatles & Before’ in this arbitrary ranking system?  No nominations for local rabble-rouser Tom Duggan and his Valley Patriot programming?  And how about the new Queen of WCAP, Kerry,…not even in the running?  To quote the great Vince Vaughn, “ERRONEOUS!”

And most insulting…. #6 Ranking of yours truly?!

In any case, vote your conscience…and by “conscience”, I mean “McCabe”

Here is where you can cast your votes to the Final Four in this fraudulant and flawed system.