SOFC Olympics Update: Not From Sochi

The throes of the Olympic Games are upon us.  And since my interest peaked when Barbados bested Bermuda by adding flip flops to their opening ceremony ensemble, we thought it would be best to assign our Olympic CouchPress Credential to someone who has a real grasp on what the Olympics are, and what this ancient athletic fiesta is all about.  Covering the Olympics for SOFC will be Alysha Lynch, curator and captain of  Mud Racing at this point has more merit as an Olympic event than most of this nonsense anyway….

Alysha on the BEST moments so far in the Olympics:


1.       Skiathlon coverage:  I don’t even know the guys name that is doing the coverage for NBC but give that guy an Oscar for his enthusiasm for a sport that is as boring as watching paint dry.   I found myself getting excited watching the men trying to beat out one another on skis to get better positioning and worrying if the US guy was ok when he got tripped by another athlete.  And then they threw in a news piece about one of Norway’s rising stars in the sport of skiathlon, I was ready to order my Norway gear to show my support!

Lindsey Jacobellis Crash

2.       New Olympic event Slope style:    I love watching snowboarding and it may be because I love seeing if people are going to eat shit when they try to pull off some crazy ass move that no one has any business doing.    Or when you are showboating in the 2002 Winter games and you crash which costs you the gold (looking at you Lindsey Jacobellis).  This new sport has all the excitement of snowboarding and skiing combined, awesome!   There were definitely some moments where I was wondering to myself “Did they really just pull that move off” and other times I was wondering how they didn’t get taken off by ambulance after that crash.   And then you throw in the hippy chick from the US who won the gold, I don’t think it gets much better than this!  It also makes me want to go out and learn how to snowboard just so I can wear a sweet Burton jacket.

Alysha on the Worst moments so far in the Olympics:

2014 Winter Olympic Games - Opening Ceremony

1.        Opening Ceremonies:  Seriously, could it have been any more of a snoozefest!  Awesome, we get to see athletes parade around in god awful outfits that they think are “fashion forward” and we feel bad for the poor countries that have 1 athlete competing.  But really what else was there that we can talk about other than the 5th Olympic ring not opening up  as big as the other 4.  I say next time just save the millions of dollars you spent on the ceremonies and use them to upgrade the toilet situation….

Editors Note:  The one is on NBC, because this is what was going on while we were watching Chevy commercials.


2.       Johnny Weir’s coverage of Team Figure Skating:   Ask Mark, I am a huge Johnny W fan, I religiously watched his reality show and found myself asking him to be my friend on Twitter.  But the comments he makes while “judging” these figure skaters is a little much.  We get it Johnny, you are different, and you feel black on the inside and want to do hoppy hops.  But when your fellow commentators laugh awkwardly at your word choices… something is a little off.  “He pops the jump–that’s a common term in skating that’s kind of a situation like throwing a cat into a bathtub where they just splay their legs out, and you can’t control it, it just happens.”  Really Johnny??  Really??.

Follow @Alysha_Lynch (on Twitter ya Dummy)

4 thoughts on “SOFC Olympics Update: Not From Sochi

  1. Could not agree with you more on that skiathalon coverage. That guy was INTENSE. Johnny’s commentating, meh. But he had a beautiful gold necklace on the other day and his skin is flawless…which kind of makes me jealous.

    • “Between you and I, Johnny Weir makes it difficult to decide if I want to be reincarnated as a Golden Retriever or a Single Gay Male.” Said to my wife two days ago.

  2. Johnny Weir is a bit mysterious…..

  3. Pingback: Sons of Franky Cabot | SOFC Olympics Midweek Update: Not From Sochi

Leave a Reply to Mark Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s