Tobes’ Top 5 Blizzard Bars in Lowell.

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Is there a better pasttime than riding out a snowstorm in a bar? I think not. Somewhere out there lies a Norman Rockwell original of a man in his flannels, sipping a stiffy in front of frosty pub windows. Let the crazy people stay at home sitting on their Market Basket stockpiles waiting for Pete Bouchard to drop another anatomy update. The true New Englander goes to the Pub. Here are the absolute best, Top 5 all-time Mill City blizzard bars…as judged by me of course.

5. The Old Major’s.
If you got a couple buddies down there with you, it may as well have been a snow fort. You had large picture windows to enjoy the scenic splendor of Jackson Street before it was polluted by hippies. A vastly underrated Juke to boot. Throw in an abundance of lot parking for your sleigh, without the worry of getting plowed-in before your erratic trip home.

4. Cappy’s Copper Kettle.
One of the problems with snow storms are the douchers that are constantly bitching about shoveling and cleaning off their cars. Not a worry here, as most of your Cappy’s blizzard buddies wont even know it’s snowing out. After all, it was a sunny day in October when they got there. Blizzard Brews at Cappy’s offers the enchantment of a snow covered Central Street. It’s over the top at Christmas time. (Tip: It takes approximately two Cappy’s drafts to make an Espresso Pizza.)

3. Gus and Paul’s.
It’s a Miller High Life commercial waiting to happen. I suppose the only thing holding it back is that its f’n gross. Even more so now that it’s not even G&P’s anymore. But guess what, you probably walked in with gloves on…problem solved.

2. The Old Court
Have you ever wanted to know what it feels like to drink inside a Gingerbread house? Enough said. Save the “The Old Court pours the best stout in the city” for the douchebags that don’t drink during blizzards.

1. The Worthen Tavern
I’m pretty sure the building doesn’t have insulation. No matter though, because the whiskey pours at the Worthen are legit. You can always count on entertainment as well…of the musical variety Because unlike strippers, session musicians and open micer’s don’t drive Mitsubishi Eclipses’ and they never miss a gig.

Honorable Mention: As a neighborhood guy, Kilkenny Pub almost made the list. Whether you’re measureIng the “fresh pow” in inches or feet, I can still patronize on foot or cross country ski’s (if I owned cross country skis). Unfortunately you’ve got a 95% of getting smoked by a DPW sander trying to leave. (Tip). It still makes a great waiting room if you’re waiting for your wheels to be rebalanced at Hogan Tire.

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7 thoughts on “Tobes’ Top 5 Blizzard Bars in Lowell.

  1. For those old enough to remember, there was no place better to ride out the “blizzard of ’78” (or any storm, or any sunny day even) than the departed Lefty’s Lounge, the neighborhood antecedent of Kilkenny Pub. Just ask anyone who was there.

  2. No love for Evo’s? If Majors was a snow fort, Evo’s was a snow cave.

  3. CB, if you loved Evo’s you would have LOVED Smithwick’s. Precursor to Evo’s and the only reason my crew started going to the Old Court was because Smithwick’s closed. Awesome Jukebox of mid-late 90’s and early 00’s rock, golden tee, knew us by name. We’d post up in the booth by the jukebox and have a blast.

  4. Don’t forget the Whipple. I’ll drive the extra half mile over Kilkenny’s any day.

  5. Hynes Tavern. The debate is over.

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