What We’ve Learned: Ned’s January 2014 City Politics Update

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We’re halfway through January and quite frankly, it’s been a little slow in the local political sphere.  Mostly Non-event after Non-event.  I’ve all but checked out for the winter.  But politics are my thing, and I suppose its the reason #TheCabot pays me the bucks.

Since others in the alternative media circle have done an outstanding and sane job of detailing where things are heading, I’ll just stick to what we know to be true:
The School Committee has attitude.  Through the early going, it’s been the school committee that has been hogging the spot light…throwing lavish cocktail parties to pat themselves on the back for beating a field of one guy.   Talk about cocky.

There’s a new Mayor.  Rodney Elliott begrudgingly accepted his colleague’s call to man the Mayoral gavel, and is concerned that the added mayoral deliverables will commandeer his drive to fulfill his two main goals for this term: getting to know more white people and uniting the clans in support of building a statue of Bernie Lynch where the City owned manger used to sit.

Meanwhile, Mayor Elliott has a list of finalists to serve as his aid for the next two years to life.

Pericles is in Rehab.

The City Manager is Unsettled.   As expert tea leaf reader, its strikes me that Bernie Lynch may want to shut it down.  I can feel it deep in my plums.  It may be his body language, or it may be the letter of resignation he provided to the Council.  It’s hard to really know for sure, but we’ll keep an eye on this one.  Whatever happens, I’m sure his exit will be quick and resolute.

Institutions are Institutions.  Councilor Rita Mercier continues to dazzle us with her ballet of rational thought and graceful…whatever the opposite of belligerence is.    Her constituents will be pleased that they’ll be able to find inanimate plaster statues shaped like biblical icons located somewhere near the Bernie Lynch statue…assuming they’re all still ticking for next year’s holiday season.  The good news is that the presence of the Bronze Bernie will make next year’s nativity splendor constitutional…not that it matters.

This council is a win for Downtown.  The ACLU is closing in on the finalization of their plans to relocate their headquarters to Downtown Lowell.  A massive win for the City’s starved commercial real estate market.

There are Dream Jobs at City Hall.  While just about everything with a pulse in City Administration has resigned at this point, I’m pretty sure City Solicitor Christine O’Connor is here to stay.  Where else can you find a well-paying gig where absolutely nothing is expected of you?  Hash Tag Dream Job.

Failed Council Candidates keep marching on.  Failed council candidate and ZBA Board member Van Pech…aka Van Pecs, singlehandedly moved downtown’s unwanted methadone clinic to Greater Chelmsford where it belongs.  Like he literally cleaned, jerked, and walked it across the city like one of those phsyco Crossfit guys.  Meanwhile, Matt Vieira has almost completed a cogent thought on social media and convinced Siri to vote for him next time around.

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15 thoughts on “What We’ve Learned: Ned’s January 2014 City Politics Update

  1. Wow…Ned just nukes Matt Viera out of nowhere. I almost forgot who he was.

  2. Who the hell wants to hang out with a sober Pericles?

  3. I can’t go on in life If this isn’t the birth of calling Rita “Grapes.” Grapes Mercier. Let’s make it happen.

    Also, who is Matt Vierra?

  4. I’ve fallen behind on the blogs this week. Thank you for the summary. I can skip the others now.

  5. Great blog…added to my rotation.

  6. I don’t know what Matt Vieira did to deserve your venom, but its uncalled for. He’s the future and will be down their at city hall next year.

    Your a jackass.

  7. You Suck, its obvious your parents didn’t have a named picked out for you prior to your arrival in this world.

  8. Grapes Mercier….you guys absolutely kill me.

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