Help me win $10K by KO’ing George Zimmerman

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Fresh off winning the Novice NAGA nogi Heavyweight New England Championship in Submission grappling last weekend Teddy Panos hit me with this bomb this morning, “Apply to fight George Zimmerman and win $10 grand.”  Sold.  Fired off an email to fightgeorge@hotmail.com this morning telling them who I was, that I’m from Lowell and Micky Ward could train me for this car wreck.  I don’t hate George Zimmerman but $10 large is reason enough to whip anyone’s ass.  So I ask you readers of The Cabot to email fightgeorge@hotmail.com and tell fight promoter Damon Feldman to pick me Mark Lynch over the other applicants because of whatever reason you want to give.  C’mon you know you want to see me knock him out.

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Lowell Track, Wins. Again.

In other news, in an effort to improve parity, MVC officials announced that all teams in the MVC will be allowed to wear Rollerblades and Healey’s when they run against Lowell. It’s a decision not just for raising the self esteem of opposing athletes, but for reducing the amount of ore and precious metals that are mined every year to keep up with this Red Raider trophy run.

Can I Be Frank?: Marital Diss

Speak freely….no wait!

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Have you ever noticed how behaved and polite you are to your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner in the presence of company?  When it comes to disagreements or differing opinions with a loved one, society has taught us to always maintain a level of respect and dignity when others are around; even if we have a strong inclination to speak out.  Men and women alike do not like to be publically embarrassed by their respective counterpart, even if they deserve it.  Whether you are at dinner with friends, a company party or your child’s school play, calling out your ‘better half’ with others in ear shot is a recipe for sure domestic disaster.

Agree?

Of course you do, but your pants are on fire if you did not totally want to say otherwise.

Onward, how many times has your blood boiled about something your better half did or said and you have bit your tongue for the sake of social harmony?  Well, here is a breakout of what I think you guys and gals would really have liked to express when “this” happened.

SETTING: Holiday Party

STATEMENT: “Sorry we are late but Jimmy insisted he didn’t need directions.  I kept telling him it was the wrong way, but he wouldn’t listen!”

ACCEPTABLE RESPONSE: (polite head nod of acceptance), “Haha, I know, hon. I could have sworn it just off Route 66.  Should have listened to you.”

DESIRED RESPONSE: “I should have kicked you out of the car when I broke the speed limit you so delicately reminded me I was breaking.  If you weren’t babbling incoherently in my ear for the entire ride asking ‘if you look fat in those jeans?’ I wouldn’t have missed the turn.  By the way, yes you do.”

Here we see an all time classic.  A Man’s natural instinct is to track/hunt/discover without the aid of others, including his lady.

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MBTA is the #3 Regional Transit provider in…pause for effect…the country.

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Boston.com

This one’s a surprise: Boston–and by extension, its pride and joy of a transit system–was ranked the third best US city for public transportation by Walk Score.

To assemble the ranking, Walk Score calculated the Transit Score of 316 cities and nearly 7,000 neighborhoods. Boston scored a 75, falling behind New York (81) and San Francisco (80.)

Transit Scores were based on the average resident’s access to public transit in the city, using a population-weighted methodology. Only cities with more than 500,000 people were included in the top list.

Walk Score said the ranking favored Northeast cities “with established subway systems.”

As I pick myself up off the floor, I’m realizing I’m going to have to totally recalibrate my expectations for service as a frequent flyer on the purple and orange trains. Here I was this whole time thinking “Overall Experience” was the sum of reliability, comfort, and safety. Turns out that as long as your text messaging operator doesn’t try to takeout an inbound Amtrak train, or your conductor doesn’t fatally stab someone with their hole’punchah for not buying their ticket at the station, you should consider yourself serviced. #3 overall level serviced.

Coaches Corner…Featuring City Legend Grapes Mercier: Mayoral Portraits

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 ““That picture is a beautiful picture. It just doesn’t fit in this setting. It belongs on his mantel in his home. It’s not a reality show, ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians.’ It’s not about turning your back to the public. It’s supposed to be about the person chosen to lead the City Council leading in a dignified way. Although there are no official rules in place, it’s a given.” – Coach Grapes Mercier

 

On Next Week’s episode of Coaches Corner, Grapes discusses the potential of German Cow farts knocking artwork of the walls at city hall.