Tis the Season

Hands down, the greatest unofficial, but pretty much official tradition of the holiday season is the Black Friday stampede videos. Usually the local news will be rolling 2-3 fresh ones before puck drops for the Bruins matinee. It generally culminates with Walmart Corporate headquarters issuing a press release along the lines of…. “We regret blah, blah, blah….trampled….blah, blah, blah…$50 Vizio LCD….blah, blah, blah…revising store procedures…blah, blah blah….thoughts and prayers….blah, blah, blah. It’s wonderful. I can’t get enough of it.

PS- every time someone asks me to sign a petition to raise minimum wage, I think of these videos…and sign obviously because that will lend itself to an increase in the amount of trample videos for next year.

Editors Note: Talk about synergy, didn’t even get to talk to Mark this morning, but we both woke up an knew what this day was all about…trample videos.

Best part of black friday?

It’s not saving money buying stuff we really don’t need for people we might not even like, it’s these trample compilation videos of people acting the fool looking to save 10% on shit when they should be in bed sleeping like a normal human being. Awesome.

Let them Play! Let them play!

Lowell Sun

LOWELL — Less than a week after 13 Lowell High School senior girls were suspended for “pranks” against underclassmen girls in advance of a scheduled powder-puff football game, Headmaster Brian Martin said Monday that Wednesday’s game is canceled.

“I’ve met with the administrative staff, and we engaged in reviewing the incident. We ultimately thought it was in the best interest of school to cancel the game,” Martin said Monday afternoon. “The superintendent agrees, and we can now move on and go from there.”

Powder-puff games, usually played on the day before Thanksgiving, typically pit senior girls against junior girls. In previous years, students in Lowell would put toilet paper on the cars of other students participating in the game and participate in other pre-game hijinks.

In an email to The Sun, Martin said that several Lowell High School seniors were involved in an incident “related to the traditional pre-Thanksgiving powder-puff football game.”

Martin said an underclassman was victimized by the “prank.”

But according to several students and other sources, the seniors allegedly painted vulgar words on the cars of underclassmen, including derogatory terms about women; at least one car was allegedly “keyed.” Some students and sources also said they were told at least one car had what they considered a racist comment written on it.

Vulgar names and keying cars? What Powder Puff year are we talking about? I believe it was the great Miles Standish who refused to say grace at the original Thanksgiving feast until he felt enough underclassmen had been declared “sluts.” It’s a tradition as old as time. Sure, the keying cars thing is a modern day wrinkle, but so is Turducken and we’re all getting on just fine. It’s never been about football. Taking this right of passage away from these girls is denying mother natures will for girls to become weird tribal factions and combat one another. Eventually they’ll use these skills to one day rush a sorority, create PTO clicks, and divide neighborhoods. That’s what PowderPuff is all about. Let them Play! Let them play!

Just Chaz being Chaz.

Everyone needs love. Even Charles Manson.

The 79-year-old convicted killer –  to put it mildly — who will spend the rest of his days inside California’s Corcoran State Prison has apparently found his soul mate while doing time in the big house.

Manson’s bride-to-be is a 25-year-old woman named Star — a single moniker Manson apparently bestowed upon her — who moved next to the prison six years ago to be closer to her beau. Star runs a website that calls for Manson’s release.

The love affair, detailed in a Rolling Stone magazine that hits newsstands Friday, paints a surreal portrait of a young woman swooned by one of America’s most infamous cult leaders.

Star recently carved an X into her forehead to match Manson’s famous engrave.

Full article here from the SFGate.  But seriously I guess there is someone for everyone right?  I mean even Hitler had a girlfriend and a dog.  Why stop at carving an X in your forehead why not go the full mile and do a matching swastika like hubby?  What kind of crazy chick marries a guy 54 years older than her and one she can’t even live with?  One that’s nuttier then squirrel turd would be my answer.

Here’s your Mayoral playbook, Rodney.

What a time to stroll into the Mayor’s office. There’s a guy up in America’s Toque that’s defining greatness. You can walk the corridors of City Hall and point to our greatest gavel tappers, but none of them had Rob Ford to look to for inspiration.

The tenets of Rob’s approach are defined by the following…


Mayoral success begins and ends with charisma. If you can’t inspire the wallflowers and tame the extroverts, you’re dead. I’m not saying Rodney needs to smoke crack, he may want to start with an adult spirit and see how that feels first.


It’s not enough these days to just be a great guy. You need to tell anyone who will listen. And you must be expansive. Leave no stone unturned, even if it’s declaring the quantities of cunnalingus that’s available to you. That’s obviously a level of detail that doesn’t pertain to Mayor Elliott, just an example. Besides, with the years of public service that Rodney has given us, whether or not he was of the…(clearing the throat)…of the “selfish” sort, we would’ve heard by now.


You can’t let anyone, and I mean anyone stand in the way of serving your constituents. There’s no time for discretion. “Get out of my way!” We’ve seen the damage Mayor Elliott can inflict from a seated position, but the podium is a whole different league. Rodney may need to hit the weights.

Mustache Monday

Can’t let a Monday go without making it a Mustache Monday. As we head to the home stretch, Mark checks in today with a complaint of itchiness. I suppose it could be the length, but my guess is hygiene. Most Centraville kids I know only know a bar of soap as an oral deterrent after dropping f’bombs in front of their moms.


As for myself, well let’s just say it takes a little sophistication to take the “creep” out of this lip sweater. I do Movember the only way a Belvideresman knows how.


A little good news on your Monday…..

EDMONTON — A pit bull is being hailed as a hero after authorities said the dog saved a woman from being attacked by a machete.  CTVNews reported that three men and a teenager broke into the woman’s home in Edmonton, Canada last week and tried attacking her. 

 Full story here. But it gets better fo young Mercey the hero dog as after the efforts of her owner and the police they were still $1K short.  So some anonymous person came to the vet and gave the $1K to cover the difference.  Class act.  Sometimes freaking people do something like this and it restores your faith in the human race just for a little while.