SOFC 2013 Fantasy Draft: Round 1 (Pick 2)- Uncle Joey’s Banana Bread selects Rita M. Mercier.

Uncle Joey’s Banana Bread 2nd overall pick- Rita Mercier

Mark Lynch: Where do you begin with Rita Mercier? Guaranteed 1st place finish. No doubt about it. She gives you an honest answer right or wrong, and often times unvarnished. You can’t hate that. She’s fashion forward in the council chambers, and if you call her house or see her on the street she’ll take the time to actually get back to you. Plus she freaking rapped at one of those cockamamie candidate forum nights. I don’t care what the birds over at LiL think/say/wish will happen on election day, guaranteed first place finish. You can’t find a Vegas book that even has it on the board. Plus, the extra 15 points to top it off puts me out in the lead. I traded for her last time and I think that’s the reason my last team Fuji Vice won the whole f’n thing. So now there’s only one thing left to do, go out there and win the whole f’n thing. Again.

Ned’s Take: Adrian Peterson falling to the 2nd pick is grounds for getting kicked out of any fantasy league. This may be worse.

SOFC 2013 Fantasy Draft: Round 1 (Pick 1)- Frank’s Shanks selects Daniel Rourke.

With the first pick of the 2013 Sons of Franky (by the way boys, “Franky” is spelled “Frankie” – nice work, idiots) Cabot Lowell City Council Draft, Frank’s Shanks selects Dan Rourke

Frank McCabe: I am pleased to draft City Council hopeful Dan “Danny Ballgame” Rourke in the first round. Danny Boy should be a sure fire winner at the voting polls next week after finishing a strong 4th in the primary election. Dan has fought a long hard campaign and I believe he is a perfect selection and deserving of the top pick. With long and strong politcal accumen in his D.N.A. (well, at least Tipa anyway), D.A.N. is a probable and worthy choice that deserves your support on November 5th. I graduated from Lowell High School with Dan and can say without hesitation that as a senior he was one of the top 7-8 Junior Varsity basketball players. They don’t call him ‘Ball Game’ for nothing. In fact, when I was going throug the (Ball) Game film before the draft I found this vintage footage of Dano. If he can exhibit this kind of focus and determination while on the Council, I think it is safe to say we all win.

Ned’s Take: Frankie McCabe goes off the grid on the first round…obviously he didn’t buy any City Council Fantasy Draft preview magazines. As for Franky with a “Y”, well we asked MLB Superstar Chone Figgens what he thought of the variation and he approved. Good enough for me.

SOFC 2013 Fantasy Draft: 3 Teams, 18 Candidates, 374 cases of general misinformation, ignorance, and uselessness.


Can’t decide?

Who’s kidding who, this election is a big deal, and it is optimal that everyone is as informed as possible… which is why you should definitely look elsewhere. We’re not the blog for you.

We’re tipping beers here at the Worthen for the next three days to bring you the most useless, unhelpful, exercise built around this biannual city tradition. Leave your sensitivity in the car.

The rules can be found here.

The Teams (In Order)
1. Frank’s Shanks (Frank McCabe)
2. Uncle Joey’s Banana Bread (Mark Lynch)
3. Tower News Taliban (Dan Tobin)

Now on the clock with the first overall pick in the 2013 Sons of Franky Cabot Fantasy: Frank’s Shanks.

Uncle Joey’s Banana Bread (NSFW)

Not a drugs guy, never have been.  But if I ever make it big.  I wanna hang out with Uncle Joey Diaz.  Complete chaos of a night/weekend.  Even at age 50+ this guy is still slinging dick.  This is why my fantasy team name for the City Council election is Uncle Joey’s banana bread.

Introducing the Molly Monster…a Halloween game-changer for your young children.


I have to say, as a Dad of two young daughters, I’m pleased to see that the Halloween Costume Marketplace is finally offering an alternative to the “Sexy _____” No longer will I have to worry about my little girls begging for candy looking like miniature hookers. It’s all about ecstasy and raves from here on out. Glow sticks have been part of the pageantry for years…it was only a matter of time.

Does anyone want to play the Red Raiders right now?


Rumor has it that after this weekend, a group of parents in Andover have sought legal counsel with regard to the removal all score boards from MVC athletic competitions.
Making matters worse is that the scope of LHS renovation project just changed dramatically with the requirement for more square footage in the trophy room.


What are Lowellians selling on Craigslist today?


i have 3 precious moments picture frames barely used very much like new. i need them picked up asap they are sitting around here im not using them just dont want them anymore. email only if serious interest to pick up. pick up only and cash only please.
· Location: lowell, ma

· it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests.

Hey, can you blame this person? Imagine having to walk past this thing every day, being reminded that you’re STILL waiting for a precious moment that you can capture for eternity. That’s a heavy cross to bear. Forget about the fact that this thing is built for 3 precious moments. It’s hard enough to just experience one.

So you’ll need to ask yourself if this is the type of person’s door you want to knock on? Do you want to be the guy that shows up with a crisp $10 bill and “all the precious moments you can handle?” I don’t want to be that guy. “Need Gone” to me means, “I’m fixing to lock you in my basement.” The expert’s opinion on this one is to hang on to your ten dollars. You’ll never know what’s lurking a few clicks away on Craigslist…like

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Update: Sons of Franky Cabot- Election Fantasy Draft begins Wednesday October 30th.


While the city’s collective attention is fixed on Rodney and Ed’s campaign for Women’s rights, we thought it would be a good time to shift gears. We like to think of The Cabot as a local blog, rather than a political blog. But with an upcoming City Election in November that will define the scope of the City leadership (ie. A City Manager possibly heading to free agency, New High School, Rodney Elliott starting bikram yoga to manage stress), it can’t be ignored. So we popped over to the MrMillCity storage unit and pulled out a classic…The Lowell City Council Fantasy Draft.

We will be rolling out the results beginning Wednesday, October 30th, wrapping up on that Friday. But feel free to play along at home or in the office.

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