What’s in Oakland’s secret sauce?

OAKLAND, CA—Claiming to be very eager to learn anything about the team’s successful yet mysterious tactics, Americans across the nation reportedly expressed their keen interest Friday in the Oakland A’s winning formula for remaining consistently competitive over the past decade. “Year after year, the A’s win an above-average number of games even though they’re on a far smaller budget than most teams—how do they keep doing that?” said Lowell, MA resident Jake Hughes, 28, adding that someone should at least interview GM Billy Beane and, if possible, get an inside look at the way Oakland’s front office operates. “I suppose it could be pure luck, but something tells me there’s more to the story than that. I wonder—and this is all purely conjecture, of course—if they have some sort of unique system in place to get the optimal value for their payroll: a ‘fiscal ballgame,’ if you will.”

Full article from the Onion here.  So if a fictitious Lowellian makes a fake news site is it news?  That was the question posed by one of our readers Greg.  Good lookin’ out Greg.  Nice catch.  It don’t think it matters what’s in the secret sauce though, the Sox are stacked four deep in the rotation with a 2004 idiots mentality and Jonny Gomes and his tank helmet.  Smell ya later A’s. 

Jonny Gomes

 

They need new Jonny is my homeboy shirts for 2013.

Advertisements

One thought on “What’s in Oakland’s secret sauce?

  1. Jake Hughes’ suggestion is on par with the dream that Principal Skinner shares with Apu — a great novel about a futuristic theme park in which dinosaurs are brought to life using DNA preserved in amber, spliced together with DNA from modern amphibians.

    What will he call it?

    “Billy and the Brontosaurus.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s