OAKLAND, CA—Claiming to be very eager to learn anything about the team’s successful yet mysterious tactics, Americans across the nation reportedly expressed their keen interest Friday in the Oakland A’s winning formula for remaining consistently competitive over the past decade. “Year after year, the A’s win an above-average number of games even though they’re on a far smaller budget than most teams—how do they keep doing that?” said Lowell, MA resident Jake Hughes, 28, adding that someone should at least interview GM Billy Beane and, if possible, get an inside look at the way Oakland’s front office operates. “I suppose it could be pure luck, but something tells me there’s more to the story than that. I wonder—and this is all purely conjecture, of course—if they have some sort of unique system in place to get the optimal value for their payroll: a ‘fiscal ballgame,’ if you will.”
Full article from the Onion here. So if a fictitious Lowellian makes a fake news site is it news? That was the question posed by one of our readers Greg. Good lookin’ out Greg. Nice catch. It don’t think it matters what’s in the secret sauce though, the Sox are stacked four deep in the rotation with a 2004 idiots mentality and Jonny Gomes and his tank helmet. Smell ya later A’s.
They need new Jonny is my homeboy shirts for 2013.